Friend or foe?

[Wolfie]

So I need some help here to understand the social dynamics.

There's this friend of mine (I don't know if he was even a friend).

We were friends for 3 years and I think it was friendship based on utility. We tried business and there were lots of disputes in business many times he left me in times of crisis

My sister warned me about him even though she never met him and I ignored her.

Some red flag

1)he never knew my last name, he sometimes would forget my name.

2) we traded secrets

3) he would joke that he would fuck my gf or cuck me or have threesome with her. I confronted him and he stopped that

But the this year it was something else.

We got drunk and he and my acquaintance ( his best friend, who was a big pussy, very big one) didn't treat me well.

And this guy was almost on the verge of spilling the secret thrice.

Now he accuses me that I spilled the secret to his best friend and I was too drunk to remember and he calls me narcissist, extremist and says you transfer the shit that happens to you to other people, people like you should be left alone.

So all this was his response when I followed Hector's method from KOC and nicomachean ethics. I confronted him because the situation was exactly as described by Hector in his book

This guy appears to be very spirtual and God like following ethics.

But I am confused, I wanna know if this response of his is being morally superior and tooling me because there were lots of red flags, he does not have any social circle and says yeah I have lots of people to take care of, his only gf is one who is a virtual gf, a long distance relationship, and he hasn't ever fucked her yet but got a bj from another stranger.

I have lots of flaws too but I remember not telling his best friend any secrets and I think this mf spilled out the secret to him, deep down my gut says this is how it must have went.

But I am not sure should I follow my gut cause I was blacked out but I am sure I never spilled any secret and I extended my hand for friendship to his best friend and only in an hour he started tooling me and when I hurt him back he started crying like a pussy and this guy sided with him.



My gut says something and he says something else, there's the possibility of getting blacked out but I would never spill any secrets like that. Heck no when I am drunk my brain is actually sharp like I can remember the tiniest details which is weird.

Should I follow my guts? I should but the alcohol, the possibility of blacked out is making me question my guts although I can't trust this guy.

 

[Rakehell]

he left me in times of crisis

Strike one

My sister warned me about him even though she never met him

Strike two

1)he never knew my last name, he sometimes would forget my name.

2) we traded secrets

3) he would joke that he would fuck my gf or cuck me or have threesome with her. I confronted him and he stopped that

Strike three. He’s out. Id cut contact without giving a reason why. People like that take no accountability and will only rope you back in so they can get more out of you.

If you aren’t enjoying a relationship whats the point in maintaining it?

 

[Fuck This]

Strike one

Strike two

Strike three. He’s out. Id cut contact without giving a reason why. People like that take no accountability and will only rope you back in so they can get more out of you.

If you aren’t enjoying a relationship whats the point in maintaining it?

+100

Keep this one at arm's length. He doesn't get to be in the inner circle. Be polite, but no personal stuff.

 

[Gunwitch]

Not stalking ya here lol, you just keep asking for advice on stuff in chat (good bet to reach me, I only moderate reports and chat usually) so here I am.

Guy seems weird don't hang outside business, just an aside though,

You weren't blacked out if you remember anything, you were perhaps uninhibited, but a true blackout means you are no longer forming memories in mind. You can test someone "hey can you remember this number 22?" they go "yeah course" ask em 5 minutes later and they go "you didn't ask me to remember any number!"

Not speaking out of school here, I've been drunk nearly every day for decades, and worked security in nightclubs long time and dealt with 10,000 drunks, and read up on this stuff science wise. People do dumb shit when blacked out sure, cause their inhibitions are down, but it's still them drunk, and just not forming new memories. Blacking out doesn't make you do anything you wouldn't otherwise when just really drunk. Why it isn't a legal defense to crimes.

Why a man is guilty of assault or murder when blacked out, and a woman isn't capable of consent when she's intentionally drank til full lack of inhibition is more a legal WTF though. More convictions is better for business, so prosecutors get to have their cake and eat it too, to me it's same "mens rea" as they call it though, so why is one not accountable and the other is? Just ranting, but yeah give guy a wide berth.


Gun

 

[Wolfie]

+100

Keep this one at arm's length. He doesn't get to be in the inner circle. Be polite, but no personal stuff.

That's the mistake I made he penetrated my inner circle and I mistook him for my brother. But I cut him off a couple of weeks ago

 

[DarkKnight]

So I promised to get back at this...

We were friends for 3 years and I think it was friendship based on utility. We tried business and there were lots of disputes in business many times he left me in times of crisis

Said enough, you knew it was utility, leaving in crisis is also same deal. People show their intention through their behavior.. I know a couple of these cats as well.

My sister warned me about him even though she never met him and I ignored her.

I had a "friend" like yours, a female friend of mine warned me as well. She saw early on that it was a very selfish person, luckily I was aware as well. Kicked his ass to the curb after one trangression too many and he tried to repair the relationship. Funny thing is I have a big social circle, he has nothing. Dumb move on his part.

1)he never knew my last name, he sometimes would forget my name.

We remember what we find to be important. Just had a chat with a girl I got to know one year ago and she knew every minor detail I told her. Which is obviously a good sign,

3) he would joke that he would fuck my gf or cuck me or have threesome with her.

These "jokes" are testing out the waters. Him going as far as trying this means there has been a buildup of disrespect. Usually guys like this do dumb stuff early on but we do not catch on because it is nonsensical or petty , not worth confronting. But for them this becomes sign to become bolder. Uncalibrated.

---

Okay the rest is too much drama and hazy not worth getting into. But you should definitely trust your gut, it becomes more intense when you are being lied to. It is foolish not to listen.

 

[Wolfie]

So I promised to get back at this...


Said enough, you knew it was utility, leaving in crisis is also same deal. People show their intention through their behavior.. I know a couple of these cats as well.


I had a "friend" like yours, a female friend of mine warned me as well. She saw early on that it was a very selfish person, luckily I was aware as well. Kicked his ass to the curb after one trangression too many and he tried to repair the relationship. Funny thing is I have a big social circle, he has nothing. Dumb move on his part.


We remember what we find to be important. Just had a chat with a girl I got to know one year ago and she knew every minor detail I told her. Which is obviously a good sign,


These "jokes" are testing out the waters. Him going as far as trying this means there has been a buildup of disrespect. Usually guys like this do dumb stuff early on but we do not catch on because it is nonsensical or petty , not worth confronting. But for them this becomes sign to become bolder. Uncalibrated.

---

Okay the rest is too much drama and hazy not worth getting into. But you should definitely trust your gut, it becomes more intense when you are being lied to. It is foolish not to listen.

Thanks a lot for your time appreciate it

 

[Searcher]

Its a shitty experience to be guys like your friend. You get a cocktail of negative emotions around such people, hell even I got disgusted only reading his behavior and it must be lot dealing with him.

as far as avoiding him, I suggest you completely cut him off if possible. Act as if he is some dirt on the road which you are avoiding.

as a general rule, trust your instincts, if you feel uneasy and get negative emotions around someone, its time to reevaluate your relationship with that person.

Some behaviors to watch out for are
1) Gaslighting
2) Blame game and false accusations
3) lack of common courtesy ( Thanking you or saying sorry)
4) Being overtly sarcastic towards you
5)Trying to one up you constantly
6) Making humiliating and aggressive jokes and then laughing about it

The worst of them act surprised or say “Why are you mad?” When you assert your boundaries.