Friend Zone?

[Anonymous]

Alright, there's this woman i messaged on Facebook after we said hi to each other in passing( I know, big mistake) and I must have really annoyed her, and she blocked me. Earlier i had told her I wanted to be friends because I had a girlfriend at the time when she asked if I had one. A day later, she unblocked me, and I messaged her again and annoyed her(I never seem to learn) and she told me I was making her feel uncomfortable and even had her sister message me. Last week, about a week after all that, I finally sucked up the courage and when she was alone I apologized to her. She seemed interested though, or maybe just falsely polite, but then school let out for Christmas. I sent her a friend request yesterday and she accepted. I would very much like to date her. There's also this open invitation party that she might be at coming up. Pretty sure she's single. What do I do?

 

[Chase]

Hey Midnight,

It sounds as though you're seeing her in person some of the time. If that's the case, you need to talk to her in-person, and ask her out in-person.

Asking her out over the Internet when you see her in person comes across as being too afraid to ask them out in the flesh to women. The order goes something like this:

in-person > phone > text > email > social networking site

If you see a woman in-person, you must ask her out then; anything else looks weak. If you never see a girl in-person but you talk to her on the phone, you must ask her out on the phone; anything else (text, email) looks weak. If you never see her in-person and you never talk to her on the phone, you can ask her out via text, but email or a networking site seem weak. And if you never see her in-person and don't have her number, you can ask her out over email, but a networking site looks weak (unless you end up in a chat with her that's going well). Rule of thumb: only use a social networking site when it's your ONLY point of contact with a girl, and she hasn't seen you in-person in a long time.

e.g., if you saw a girl in-person 2 weeks ago and ask her out online, she'll think you wanted to do it then and were simply too cowardly; attraction takes a major hit. Instead, ask her out the next time you see her. Online's okay if you haven't seen a girl in, say, 4 to 6 months or longer, and you don't have her number or haven't called her in forever / lost her number.

Chase

 

[Anonymous]

Thanks!
But how do I let her know that I don't want to be friends now that I'm single?

 

[Franco]

But how do I let her know that I don't want to be friends now that I'm single?

Just by asking her out, she will know what you want. This is the great thing about being direct -- and most women appreciate it.

- Franco