FU From beach pickup to massage on the hill to nothing

[Jan]

INTRO

Two weeks ago I was on vacations in Portugal. I was in a small coast town with a beautiful beach.

It was my last day in town, and I decided to take advantage of the day and went to the beach pretty early. Around 10am.

PREAPPROACH AND APPROACH

I was laying on my towel when this Argentinian chick was returning from her swim in the ocean. She was walking back next to me, so I threw a simple "The water is real cold." She replied 'Yeah, it's pretty cold. But refreshing too." With a smile.

I just chilled on my towel for a while and decided to go to water myself. When I was in the water, I looked at her and she was looking at me. We waved to each other and smiled, which was a pretty clear approach invitation for me. On my way back I walked directly towards her.

We started a conversation, initially about the ocean, then about what is she is doing here, what I'm doing here, etc.

CONNECTION

We spent about 30-45" just chatting. The conversation was little difficult because my Spanish is pretty bad and so is her English. Regardless of this, the vibe was real good. We agreed on many things, laughed a lot, went to the ocean together, and did some spare touching on arms, hands, here and there.

She was on the beach before me and she told me that she works in this town and she is going to start her shift in 4 hours. She works in a shoes store so she starts pretty late and finishes in mid evening hours (about 10pm).

I had a pretty tough logistical situation because I stayed in a hostel and I was leaving the next day. My plan was to take her from the beach to her place and fuck her before her shift. It was an ambitious plan because we knew each other for a short time. On the other hand, the vibe was really good, I knew she was attracted to me and she was probably over 40 years old. She was also of a hippie type, living in the moment, so I thought I had a chance to bang her real fast.

JUMPING VENUES

At some point she told me that she is going to leave the beach soon, and that within the 3 hours gap between now and her work start, she has to do groceries, go back home, cook, eat and prepare for work. Btw, she was living and working within like 10 minutes walk from the beach.

I though 3 hours is a lot of time to do all these, and I was hoping to add a quickie to her day plan.

When she asked me what I'm going to do next, I told her that I'm going to go back to the old town (the same place where she lives and works) and have a coffee somewhere there.

We talked a little bit about meditation during our convo, I told her that I meditate. When we were leaving the beach, I proposed that I can teach her meditation if she likes. She really liked this idea. She asked me: where... I told her that we need to be in a more private place with less noice, hoping that she would propose to do at her place. Instead, she told me there is a hill nearby, with the view on the ocean which should be a good place.

I said, ok let's go there.

ESCALATION

We got to the hill, put our towels on the grass, next to each other. I told her to close her eyes and guided her through a short guided meditation. When I saw her being more relaxed, I started giving her a massage. The hill was only kind of private. We were the only people there, but there was always some random people walking nearby.

I continued massaging her, after I massaged her back,arms I went for her thighs, belly and tits. She didn't resist when I was squeezing her tits which was a sign for me that she is accepting this as a sexual massage.

PULL

At that point I thought I should try to move her to her place. I don't remember the exact conversation, but when I proposed we finish the message at her place, she got kind of anxious and told me that she has to go and do her things, otherwise she will be late for work. I was little surpised because I thought 3 hours is plenty of time to all what she wanted to do.

Instead, I proposed to exchange numbers and told her that we maybe we can meet in the evening, after her work.

We exchanged numbers, hugged, kissed on the cheek and parted ways.

PERSISTING

When I returned to my hostel, I thought that I wasn't persistent enough and that I should try again. We were in close proximity, about 10 minutes walk max.

I texted her, saying "Hey, I've an idea. How about you just take your time to do your groceries, eat and get prepared for work, and if you still have time I can come over to your place and finish the massage?"

She replied, "Sure, I should have enough time to do everything."
"Just text me when you are finished."
"OK"

This text exchange was when she still had about 2.5 hours to do everything.

Unfortunately she texted me only when she was about to leave for her shift.

ANALYSIS

So what went wrong here? I know that this is was a right tight situation, with this time pressure, but is there anything I could do better?

I thought that maybe her apartment wasn't in good order, and she didn't have enough time to clean it and invite me. Also, I thought that I didn't arouse her enough or I didn't make it clear that I want to come over to bang her? There was a clear tension between two of us and she let me touch and squeeze her tits, she was touching my arms, so it was clear for me, but there was no sex talk involved, and maybe she wasn't that aroused, especially due to the time pressure.

 

[gameboy]

I have a feeling she would have been ready to do it right there. Maybe you could have found a more private place and fucked her there.

Well done to ask her to go to her's, and also with the escalation in public. But if for whatever reason she didn't want to take you to her place, it was probably a mistake to let her go. As she would drop out of state which is why she didn't text you back to meet in time before her shift. I'd have gone for the kiss at least after massaging her tits...

 

[Skills]

the massage in public should not have happened and/or if it did should not have included arousal areas, not an erotic massage.... The massage in closing location is when you do normal, then sensual, then erotic.... The plausible deniability of cont. massage was off too, "wanna fuck" she was not ready, then open the texting with a hard close, wrong too...

 

[Jan]

@Skills Yeah, I was in a rush because I knew I'm gonna leave the next day, so I lacked patience and unnecesarily rushed things forward

As to the massage on the hill. It wasn't a strictly public place, it was more like a semi-private, isolated from public but still open for random strollers.

You are right about the hard close too. Once again, being in a rush made me forgot about the vibing and soft close in text.

 

[Jan]

Maybe you could have found a more private place and fucked her there.

The private place I had in mind was her apartment I was fresh new to this place and didn't know any private places and it was around 11am in the morning.

 

[Will_V]

INTRO

Two weeks ago I was on vacations in Portugal. I was in a small coast town with a beautiful beach.

It was my last day in town, and I decided to take advantage of the day and went to the beach pretty early. Around 10am.

PREAPPROACH AND APPROACH

I was laying on my towel when this Argentinian chick was returning from her swim in the ocean. She was walking back next to me, so I threw a simple "The water is real cold." She replied 'Yeah, it's pretty cold. But refreshing too." With a smile.

I just chilled on my towel for a while and decided to go to water myself. When I was in the water, I looked at her and she was looking at me. We waved to each other and smiled, which was a pretty clear approach invitation for me. On my way back I walked directly towards her.

We started a conversation, initially about the ocean, then about what is she is doing here, what I'm doing here, etc.

CONNECTION

We spent about 30-45" just chatting. The conversation was little difficult because my Spanish is pretty bad and so is her English. Regardless of this, the vibe was real good. We agreed on many things, laughed a lot, went to the ocean together, and did some spare touching on arms, hands, here and there.

She was on the beach before me and she told me that she works in this town and she is going to start her shift in 4 hours. She works in a shoes store so she starts pretty late and finishes in mid evening hours (about 10pm).

I had a pretty tough logistical situation because I stayed in a hostel and I was leaving the next day. My plan was to take her from the beach to her place and fuck her before her shift. It was an ambitious plan because we knew each other for a short time. On the other hand, the vibe was really good, I knew she was attracted to me and she was probably over 40 years old. She was also of a hippie type, living in the moment, so I thought I had a chance to bang her real fast.

JUMPING VENUES

At some point she told me that she is going to leave the beach soon, and that within the 3 hours gap between now and her work start, she has to do groceries, go back home, cook, eat and prepare for work. Btw, she was living and working within like 10 minutes walk from the beach.

I though 3 hours is a lot of time to do all these, and I was hoping to add a quickie to her day plan.

When she asked me what I'm going to do next, I told her that I'm going to go back to the old town (the same place where she lives and works) and have a coffee somewhere there.

We talked a little bit about meditation during our convo, I told her that I meditate. When we were leaving the beach, I proposed that I can teach her meditation if she likes. She really liked this idea. She asked me: where... I told her that we need to be in a more private place with less noice, hoping that she would propose to do at her place. Instead, she told me there is a hill nearby, with the view on the ocean which should be a good place.

I said, ok let's go there.

ESCALATION

We got to the hill, put our towels on the grass, next to each other. I told her to close her eyes and guided her through a short guided meditation. When I saw her being more relaxed, I started giving her a massage. The hill was only kind of private. We were the only people there, but there was always some random people walking nearby.

I continued massaging her, after I massaged her back,arms I went for her thighs, belly and tits. She didn't resist when I was squeezing her tits which was a sign for me that she is accepting this as a sexual massage.

PULL

At that point I thought I should try to move her to her place. I don't remember the exact conversation, but when I proposed we finish the message at her place, she got kind of anxious and told me that she has to go and do her things, otherwise she will be late for work. I was little surpised because I thought 3 hours is plenty of time to all what she wanted to do.

Instead, I proposed to exchange numbers and told her that we maybe we can meet in the evening, after her work.

We exchanged numbers, hugged, kissed on the cheek and parted ways.

PERSISTING

When I returned to my hostel, I thought that I wasn't persistent enough and that I should try again. We were in close proximity, about 10 minutes walk max.

I texted her, saying "Hey, I've an idea. How about you just take your time to do your groceries, eat and get prepared for work, and if you still have time I can come over to your place and finish the massage?"

She replied, "Sure, I should have enough time to do everything."
"Just text me when you are finished."
"OK"

This text exchange was when she still had about 2.5 hours to do everything.

Unfortunately she texted me only when she was about to leave for her shift.

ANALYSIS

So what went wrong here? I know that this is was a right tight situation, with this time pressure, but is there anything I could do better?

I thought that maybe her apartment wasn't in good order, and she didn't have enough time to clean it and invite me. Also, I thought that I didn't arouse her enough or I didn't make it clear that I want to come over to bang her? There was a clear tension between two of us and she let me touch and squeeze her tits, she was touching my arms, so it was clear for me, but there was no sex talk involved, and maybe she wasn't that aroused, especially due to the time pressure.

Totally agree with @Skills, generally it's not good to escalate too much until you're ready to have sex. When things get hot and then go cold, that's when there's a higher probability of buyer's remorse, and especially when the escalation was fast or risque. Getting too physical, even with kissing, kills the sexual tension later on when she's looking at your texts. See this article, it's for kissing but the same principle applies for all sorts of physical escalations, even more so.

I've also found that in these sort of situations where you don't seal the deal, you end up with her flip flopping where it seems like things are going great on text but then she'll suddenly ghost or start interrogating or putting down obstacles, because she feels committed to something that no longer has any of the wonderful tension, and it doesn't feel right for her, so she slams the brakes. If you back off an escalation you need very good chill frame control and to build some comfort, connection, and tension again.

 

[Jan]

@Will_V So how do you suggest I should have sexualized the situation on the hill? My goal was to communicate my intent and make her horny, so she would agree if I suggested to go to her place?

 

[Will_V]

@Will_V So how do you suggest I should have sexualized the situation on the hill? My goal was to communicate my intent and make her horny, so she would agree if I suggested to go to her place?

Here's the article you need.

As for sexualizing, exactly like skills said you can massage her but without getting too erotic, or just use some light touches/caresses to warm her up a little.

I usually go from casual touching (and even then I'll touch her elbows and upper arm which are more sensitive) to caressing her back, like fingertips up and down the spine, I'll lean in and smell her hair/neck and tell her she smells good, and leave my face there for a few seconds so she feels my breath. When she's warmer I also like to slide my fingertips up the back of her neck, which is a very sensitive area. Girls usually don't get touched like that even by guys they are sexual with and it shows you aren't just a meat and potatoes (i.e. breast and butt) sort of guy but you know about a girl's body. And more importantly, her body gets activated and she's aroused, but not so much that she crashes later on. The tension stays strong because there's so much left undone.

A short kiss is fine too, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I like to get close and make her flutter on the edge of lunging in for it though.

And then when you feel like she's starting to slide deep into the bubble, you just pull with any excuse, like the article suggests - just like the example there you could say that the place you're staying in is crowded and noisy (which is true) so why don't we watch a movie or something at yours.

 

[Jan]

@Will_V I will check it out. Thanks