From Hot to Cold From Cold to Hot?

[Novacane]

I'm 17 and stumbled on this site about a year ago, so I decided why not improve on my game with woman now instead of later. My problem is after reading countless posts I have found success with woman (My age apparently the same principals work and I thank Chase and all his writers) but I have come to a recent road block there are two women in question, one that after meeting up with 2 times at her place the second time taking her to bed, and one who I haven't been able to but always stops last minute whenever were at her place. Now the girl that I took to bed after the 2nd well "Date" has gone a little iffy with me doesn't really respond to my texts and is always busy (I think shes lost interest), and the girl who always stops the physical escalation at its most heightened point shows much interest continues to text but when its time to meet up does the same thing. I was wondering should I continue to attempt to message the girl I was already successful with even tho she has gone cold out of no where (also would messaging her even when she is cold break the law of least effort?), and should I move on from the other girl who's constantly playing games but seems to show interest whenever I act non nonchalant about the sudden stop in the physical escalation? *My bad if my post is vague aha, its my first one on this site any insight would be appreciated!*

 

[Chase]

Howdy Novacane,

Getting stuck in a loop where things aren't happening with a girl can be very frustrating, whether you've already slept with her (like the girl who's gone cold) or not (like the girl who's still hot).

One of the strongest things you can do is call a girl out on behavior like this, in a non-judgmental / socially savvy way.

For the girl you've already slept with, it sounds like you've already chased too much and are beyond the point where calling her out will get results, so it's probably better just to drop off the radar for a month or so, then get back in touch with a, "Hey, sorry I haven't been in contact, been super busy with [whatever]. Anyway, how's life, Ashley? Let me know what your schedule's like these days, and let's grab some food next week."

For the girl you haven't, I'd see her again, take her to the point where you're about to escalate, and right where she normally stops, stop yourself first, look her in the eyes, and say, "Look. I dig you. But I don't want to keep playing games here. So I'm going to get close with you now, and let's see if we can be together, or let's see if we can't. If we can't, it's okay, and you can go live your life and I'll go live mine, and we'll probably both be happy and meet other people and life will go on. But if we can... then let's make it something truly incredible and amazing." Of course, if you don't really want to keep seeing this girl, don't use this (she'll get hurt); instead, just brush up on your escalation and get better at backing off before she can stop you and resuming a few minutes later. Unless she actually gets up and leaves, she's there and she's open to it; and you've got all night to work your magic. It's essentially a contest of wills, to see who'll outlast whom; so far, she's been outlasting you. But if she's going to stick around... and be in YOUR bed... you should be focused on outlasting HER, so you can give her what she really wants and keeps putting herself in a position to have but is a bit too nervous to go for until you really persist.

Cheers,
Chase

 

[Novacane]

Thank you for the insight Chase! Loved your advice since day one.