She was making her schedule super open to meet, we went out yesterday, first got a drink on the Christmas market, then ate something together, then went to a gay bar for a drink and then walked her home.
THE DATE
The beginning and middle part of the date was really great, got to know her at the Christmas market (also romantic), led to the restaurant while I explained the neighborhood, and full sex talk at the bar where I got to know she never had an orgasm, never had one night stands, fantasizes about 3somes, and got her to admit it was a long time since she did it last and she missed it (that was a nice one I think).
I made her chip in in for the Christmas market, I took the restaurant (and she did the tip) and told her she'd get drinks at the bar, which she did. Not really 50/50 but she's a student and most of all no emphasis on money whatsoever.
On the only "dangerous" part when she said she never did one night stands I replied that I think that's silly and there's no difference between relationships and one night stands: for me every relationship starts with a one night stand. She agreed saying that was the case for her. Another good point.
TOO BOYFRIEND STYLE?
The only thing I was a bit worried about was that I was too high value in the sense of a keeper: came across as smart and knowledgeable, well spoken, well dressed, had a job in a company employing people from her field etc. etc.
I still have troubles with the idea of actively disqualifying myself.
And also, I thought that with heavy sex talk and dropping hints at my experience and only having had 2 relationships in my life would have been enough.
Indeed in spite I'm not very experienced in sex talk it was rather good I suppose: she was horny as she kept playing with the beer handle and yes she liked me (both clear in non verbal and both stated it when I later asked if she found me attractive).
IN FRONT OF MY PLACE
And yet, she didn't come up.
I never said we'd go to my place explicitly, and thinking it was another bar she was a bit shocked. Which BTW reinforces my idea it's never a good idea to leave it TOO vague: you have to be able to gauge the situation and vagueness doesn't allow you to do that.
Reason why? Mostly she was afraid she couldn't control herself.
She always felt bad when she did it too quickly in the past and couldn't do it now.
It went back and forth for a long time with me "kinda" of blocking her the way towards the metro with my body.
I said it's only a water, why was she thinking about sex, that it was offensive that she would think of me as that judgemental in case she let loose ("we can do it or not do it, who cares!"), that we only go 5 minutes, that I promise we keep a 1m distance (said half jokingly), that I wanted to show her the room for rent, that leaving now would make it unlikely we'd see each other again etc. etc.
I could have added "come and I'll give you that orgasm you never had", but in the past that didn't work that well.
Anyway, she was very determined and towards the end she mentioned she could scream (note: NEVER was it at physical danger).
Indeed I call that bluff: "scream and you can go", I told her, and then kept prodding for her to just shout once if she wanted to go, thus making it clear she wasn't that hell bent in going.
At that point though the situation was becoming more and more a full push from my side (including physically slightly holding her) and a full retreat mode from her side, so I suddenly let her go and started walking to my place, something which I do when I feel the situation is lost.
WALKING TOWARDS THE BUS
Girls go nuts when you do that, BUT you rarely seem them again, so I walked back her hunkered down on the phone figure -girls always glue to their phones in those scenarios- and had her change course for the bus stop (the direction she was on was better but I wanted to lead again).
She was a bit nervous, kept texting to her gay buddy and I never re-initiated full convo as I didn't wanna reward her.
When the bus approached she asked me if she could hug me for a goodbye (it happened to me before with a girl I later had sex with, and happened recently twice on a cold approach the girl would want to go for a hug) but I let her settle for a slight handshake -but more hand holding style of course-.
WHAT WAS WRONG?
Now please tell me, what do you think went wrong?
I feel I took another step forward in the last 2-3 months in both approach, personality and date management (women I meet do often like me), yet the last 2-3 non sex encounters are damning.
Was I not clear enough on an open minded frame? Was she thinking of making something serious with me?
Any idea for way forward (yesterday night I sent a good night text saying except for the last childish half hour I had a good time) ?
THE DATE
The beginning and middle part of the date was really great, got to know her at the Christmas market (also romantic), led to the restaurant while I explained the neighborhood, and full sex talk at the bar where I got to know she never had an orgasm, never had one night stands, fantasizes about 3somes, and got her to admit it was a long time since she did it last and she missed it (that was a nice one I think).
I made her chip in in for the Christmas market, I took the restaurant (and she did the tip) and told her she'd get drinks at the bar, which she did. Not really 50/50 but she's a student and most of all no emphasis on money whatsoever.
On the only "dangerous" part when she said she never did one night stands I replied that I think that's silly and there's no difference between relationships and one night stands: for me every relationship starts with a one night stand. She agreed saying that was the case for her. Another good point.
TOO BOYFRIEND STYLE?
The only thing I was a bit worried about was that I was too high value in the sense of a keeper: came across as smart and knowledgeable, well spoken, well dressed, had a job in a company employing people from her field etc. etc.
I still have troubles with the idea of actively disqualifying myself.
And also, I thought that with heavy sex talk and dropping hints at my experience and only having had 2 relationships in my life would have been enough.
Indeed in spite I'm not very experienced in sex talk it was rather good I suppose: she was horny as she kept playing with the beer handle and yes she liked me (both clear in non verbal and both stated it when I later asked if she found me attractive).
IN FRONT OF MY PLACE
And yet, she didn't come up.
I never said we'd go to my place explicitly, and thinking it was another bar she was a bit shocked. Which BTW reinforces my idea it's never a good idea to leave it TOO vague: you have to be able to gauge the situation and vagueness doesn't allow you to do that.
Reason why? Mostly she was afraid she couldn't control herself.
She always felt bad when she did it too quickly in the past and couldn't do it now.
It went back and forth for a long time with me "kinda" of blocking her the way towards the metro with my body.
I said it's only a water, why was she thinking about sex, that it was offensive that she would think of me as that judgemental in case she let loose ("we can do it or not do it, who cares!"), that we only go 5 minutes, that I promise we keep a 1m distance (said half jokingly), that I wanted to show her the room for rent, that leaving now would make it unlikely we'd see each other again etc. etc.
I could have added "come and I'll give you that orgasm you never had", but in the past that didn't work that well.
Anyway, she was very determined and towards the end she mentioned she could scream (note: NEVER was it at physical danger).
Indeed I call that bluff: "scream and you can go", I told her, and then kept prodding for her to just shout once if she wanted to go, thus making it clear she wasn't that hell bent in going.
At that point though the situation was becoming more and more a full push from my side (including physically slightly holding her) and a full retreat mode from her side, so I suddenly let her go and started walking to my place, something which I do when I feel the situation is lost.
WALKING TOWARDS THE BUS
Girls go nuts when you do that, BUT you rarely seem them again, so I walked back her hunkered down on the phone figure -girls always glue to their phones in those scenarios- and had her change course for the bus stop (the direction she was on was better but I wanted to lead again).
She was a bit nervous, kept texting to her gay buddy and I never re-initiated full convo as I didn't wanna reward her.
When the bus approached she asked me if she could hug me for a goodbye (it happened to me before with a girl I later had sex with, and happened recently twice on a cold approach the girl would want to go for a hug) but I let her settle for a slight handshake -but more hand holding style of course-.
WHAT WAS WRONG?
Now please tell me, what do you think went wrong?
I feel I took another step forward in the last 2-3 months in both approach, personality and date management (women I meet do often like me), yet the last 2-3 non sex encounters are damning.
Was I not clear enough on an open minded frame? Was she thinking of making something serious with me?
Any idea for way forward (yesterday night I sent a good night text saying except for the last childish half hour I had a good time) ?
