Fuckbuddy Rules

[tvktvk]

Hey guys,

So a few weeks ago (the first week in November to be exact) I got my lay #3. We knew each other briefly from earlier, and she came home with me after we met at my favourite bar that night. After not being able to match up schedules for a while, she's coming by my place this Sunday (unless she flakes).

So my goal with this girl is to establish a fuckbuddy relationship. I don't think she posesses the traits I see in a girlfriend, but she has a cute bitch face, a pornstar body and a really tight pussy. She seems like the indepenent kind (she's a very talented photographer, extroverted and sexual) so she seems like a perfect fuckbuddy candidate. Problem is, I've never done this the right way before and I don't want to blur the lines.

- What do you do on the second hang/meet to set the precedent for a fuckbuddy relationship? Do you just simply seduce her for a second time at your place? Or should there be no doubt that she's only coming over to get her sweet ass fucked?

- What is okay and what is not okay to do with a fuckbuddy when hanging out? I was thinking having sex and watching a movie, but first just talk about what she's been doing lately for about 10 minutes to get her comfortable meeting up with me for the second time, and that way she knows I'm still the same chill guy she had sex with a few weeks ago.

- If my roomates are at home, do I introduce them to her?

- If she's coming over for a movie, is it okay to go to the local shop and buy snacks together while we catch up, or is this too boyfriend'ish and should I just have everything set up when she comes over?

I think that's all of my questions, some guidance would be much appreciated as always

tvktvk

 

[Zoro]

should there be no doubt that she's only coming over to get her sweet ass fucked?

Yes.

And you've got the jist of it just fine.

I was thinking having sex and watching a movie, but first just talk about what she's been doing lately for about 10 minutes to get her comfortable meeting up with me for the second time, and that way she knows I'm still the same chill guy she had sex with a few weeks ago.

I like to do this whenever I have a girl over. Just to catch up with her since we last met and feel her out (make sure she is feeling okay, nothing strange to deal with that might need addressing before having sex) that being said the catching up would always be while my hands were squeezing her ass and being playful.

- If my roomates are at home, do I introduce them to her?

I would do it quick just for formalities and then lead her to somewhere private.

- If she's coming over for a movie, is it okay to go to the local shop and buy snacks together while we catch up, or is this to boyfriend'ish and should I just have everything set up when she comes over?

I always like to think, "sex first, anything else after." For FB's the less boyfriend type stuff you do the better, just for the sake of setting the right expectations. That being said this is how I like to run all my relationships from the get go. They all go into the FB slot until they repeatedly demonstrate qualities that may bump them up to something more serious which for me is still an open style relationship.

 

[Big Daddy]

Good Looking Loser provides a good blueprint for FBs relationships here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y97vGnxrF4w

The most pressing rules are:

- She's getting fucked every time you see each other; there's no doubt about it
- You only see her once every 7-10 days
- No boyfriendy dates

I had a FB relationship before where I fucked everything up (can't pinpoint the reason, but we acted like future LTR candidates; Plus, she was being pressured by a friend in particular) and I'm now on my second one. Fucked her straight from party, then bought her over the following week, then again next week and this week I gave her radio silence. Don't know if I fucked up by doing that but I wanted to see the lowest maintenance level I could get away with. I'll try something bringing her again next week. We'll see how it goes.

@J

Your opinions on texting FBs? Radio silence + logistics when necessary vs maintain chit chat + logistics when necessary?

 

[Zoro]

@J

Your opinions on texting FBs? Radio silence + logistics when necessary vs maintain chit chat + logistics when necessary?

The ideal is she's texting you (since she's so into you) and you're only get back to a few here and there (you're busy doing cool shit).

You can communicate this with radio silence/sparingly replying. I wouldn't text her yourself unless its for logistics or something extraordinary that she might find interesting (which by the very nature doesn't happen often at all.) Even then you may not want to do that early in the relationship.

Be warm when you're replying and handling logistics. You're busy, not uninterested.

If she's not texting you first, maybe she's not into you, maybe she's not a big texter, or maybe she's busy too. Whatever the reason texting her isn't going to do too much for it.

If something goes awry I would chalk it up to something you mishandled in person. And that mindset will get you much better results in the long run.

I think the grey area is when she's too into you, worried about you not texting and then goes into auto rejection. I don't imagine that happens unless you're VERY attractive to her and haven't handled your attainability levels. I wouldn't worry about that, especially because I'm just postulating.

PS

Goodlookingloser is awesome.

 

[ray_zorse]

This week I've arranged to meet the girl from "LR: Big voice, small package", first 2 meetings are documented in that thread. Did some date-like stuff with her on both occasions. I want to make her a long distance fuckbuddy. She did say she wanted more but I shut that down quick cos I couldn't give a fuck really. My question is, do I have to cut out stuff like eating out or grabbing a coffee or seeing a tourist spot (after I've railed her I mean)... or would it be okay to continue as before?
Ray

 

[Zoro]

Ray,

I think there is a bit of confusion surrounding what the definition of FuckBuddy is... Or rather the reasoning for having a FuckBuddy VS. GirlFriend VS. Open Long Term Relationship. So I want to make sure you don't have it mixed up either.

I say this because I once lost a girl because I kept her at a distance using FB relationship structure. The relationship was a total success as a fuckbuddy one, but I ultimately wanted something more serious but still open with her.

I think your criteria for fuckbuddy vs open relationship is something to consider. For me, a rough guide is, if we vibe well, she is low drama, responsible sexually and comfortable with an open relationship, she qualifies. I think my criteria will change as I learn more about open relationships and what I want from a relationship, but I like having the freedom of an open relationship and the fun girlfriend activities too.

The point of FB structured relationships is to communicate your intentions to the girl and keep her from getting hurt or causing drama. I totally think you can break the FB rules sometimes, especially if you know what you are doing. But the more you do boyfriend things, the faster she is going to expect the relationship to progress. At some point even FB's want the relationship to progress (or want something new) and thats why you'll lose them after awhile (how I lost the girl above).

This is why I love the open relationship structure. If I like her enough to want to spend a lot of time with her, I can, and do all the relationship type stuff with a longer shelf life than FBs with the same freedoms.

Note: I imagine in a long distance FB relationship, the time spent away from each other might balance out (a little bit) the occasional date you'd do when back in town. Especially because I think it's obvious that even the baddest bad boy lover will want to see the town he's visiting. Again postulating. Postulate is a weird word.

 

[Big Daddy]

@J

Yeah, thing is I think I'm dealing with shit tests or she's not interested as I originally anticipated. It's somewhat of a gray area.

After I fucked her the second time she started talking about past boyfriends and trying to slot me in bf category but I cut it short and gave her 2-3 days of radio silence totally expecting that she'd hit me but but she didn't. Then I started teasing her a little bit for scratching my entire back and she'd regularly send "hey" or say something about her day after I broke silence. She was chasing. Good.

So 3-4 days later I fucker her again (and she even gave me a massage afterwards -- she brought her own cream for it. Though, we've been flirting around the fact that she "owed" me a massage), and since then (last Wednesday) she didn't text me. I'm not going to text her until I'm able to fuck her again (logistics), I'm just wondering if this is just her trying to make me invest or if she isn't interested at all. I think I did a decent job fucking her, but she might have another dude, who knows.

In any case, I'm not overly worried about which one is it as I just set up another FB relationship since the last post on this thread Just curious really.

 

[Bboy100]

I think this article is relevant: https://www.girlschase.com/content/dont- ... pectations

Additionally, I'd say being very straightforward is important. Rn, I have a fuckbuddy who I literally don't text except when I ask her to come over. Additionally, on the fifth date, I plan to check in on her and ask her if this arrangement is still ok with her. I think that fuckbuddy relationships are no different than others. Its important to set clear expectations and to actually communicate what you want out of it.

Also, I see her less than one time a week.

What is okay and what is not okay to do with a fuckbuddy when hanging out? I was thinking having sex and watching a movie, but first just talk about what she's been doing lately for about 10 minutes to get her comfortable meeting up with me for the second time, and that way she knows I'm still the same chill guy she had sex with a few weeks ago.

I wouldn't even do the movie part unless you actually want to. If you set the right precedent by qualifying yourself as a "lover" when you first seduced her, she knows exactly why she's there. There's no need to pretend to watch a movie or to have any other activity.

However, I would say that chatting/catching up with her are good moves. Even though she knows what this relationship is about, she still probably wants to feel connected to you and like you care about her as a person. Small talk/catching up does a good job of achieving this goal.

 

[tvktvk]

Hey guys, a lot of great stuff here! Unfortunately I texted the girl today and she wrote:

"I've been thinking about this a bit. It'll be weird for me to hang out like last time... Feels kinda unnatural. I understand that's kinda dissapointing for you."

I tried to persist and reframe over text (which I didn't think was a good idea, but I tried), but she kept saying it felt weird and unnatural. I'm pretty sure I burned this bridge to the ground, I'll probaby put up a report. Any ideas why she said she felt that way?

tvktvk