FU Fumbled booty call?

[TheEcho]

Hey all!

The Brazilian milf I've been messaging for a while, mostly stopped, but she seemed to get a bit more lively. I deleted IG from my phone, so my responses take way longer, which seems to click for her. The latest back-and-forth "ended" last night with a rather confusing situation. People say she was joking and a soft ping would've been better, but a bit confused on a good way to do that ping. Also somewhat wondering about moving ahead, though this girl is growing tiring.

Spoiler: Context

Starting almost a week ago:

Me: *Story reply* (some comic about doctors charging a ton for doing nothing in Portuguese)
Me: Don't even need to know Portuguese to get this lol

Her: if you have questions just ask LOL

Me: Has your mom seen us talking? Wonder who this "strange, handsome man" is? (at the gym, we see each other a couple times a week)

Her: Of course she see us, I just don’t know what she thinks about you. Sr handsome

Me: Haha, fair enough
Me: Yikes the wind is getting crazy (tornado sirens)

Her: just a few trees on the ground around here

Me: Just? That's pretty intense lol.
Me: How is Brazil's weather?

Her: just kidding, there was a pretty strong wind and rain
Her: *shares story* (joke about people living here hearing sirens and going outside to record the sirens)

Me: Lol yeah, very strong
Me: Bet you were out there too haha

Her: Haha I was

Me: Crazy girl
Me: Hey, have you ever had boba?

Her: Yes I had
Her: I love it

Me: Sweet, I've missed it
Me: How about we go grab some at ___ tomorrow or early next week?

Her: Ok, next week

Me: Cool, how does Monday at 7 or Tuesday at 2 sound?

Last night (~7pm):

Her: Sorry, Tuesday at 2:00 I still working
Her: 2:00 AM I am available

Me: Haha let's do it, I can come by at 2am *she reacts with yee-haw emoji*
Me: Cool, just send me your address

Her: *close friends story of swishing wine glass in front of fire*

Me: *Story reply* I mean, I could come earlier

and nothing.....


PS. ChatGPT made it WAY easier to clean out the extra tidbits (date, names, add in spacing) and assign Me: / Her:. Had to review and tweak, but it did most of it.

 

[HoofHearted]

Chasey. Also never come early, only come when exactly when you mean to

 

[Chase]

@TheEcho,

A few rules of texting:

Rule #1: ask her schedule BEFORE you propose times. Don't propose times that then get shot down. Generates negative compliance:

Me: Sweet, I've missed it
Me: How about we go grab some at ___ tomorrow or early next week?

Her: Ok, next week

You ask for tomorrow, she pushes off to next week. Negative compliance.

Me: Cool, how does Monday at 7 or Tuesday at 2 sound?

Last night (~7pm):

Her: Sorry, Tuesday at 2:00 I still working

You ask for Monday or Tuesday, she pushes off (still working). More negative compliance.

Rule #2: never be more eager than she is:

Her: Sorry, Tuesday at 2:00 I still working
Her: 2:00 AM I am available

Me: Haha let's do it, I can come by at 2am *she reacts with yee-haw emoji*
Me: Cool, just send me your address

Her: *close friends story of swishing wine glass in front of fire*

She has put you off multiple times, then announces she is available at an inconvenient time.

The right thing to do here is to engage in a little text banter over it. e.g., "2 AM huh? Available for what... 30 minutes and then you crash for the night, lmao? What are you up doing at 2 AM on a Tuesday..."

Make her qualify that she is going to be up for a while. Get her to tell you what she intends to do with you. Etc.

She needs to engage in some chasing now... to help compensate for all the chasing you have done.

Instead, the moment she says she is available, she gets a "Let's do it."

Overeager.

Or, as @HoofHearted put it, chasey.

Rule #3: never pile on an overeager offer that gets an ambiguous response by being even MORE overeager:

Me: *Story reply* I mean, I could come earlier

and nothing.....

Aye...

Just keep in mind: the more you have chased in the past, the more negative compliance you have accrued, the more important it is to get her chasing and qualifying before you go putting yourself out even more. It is possible to chase and chase and chase a girl into going out with you... guys do pull it off occasionally... but it is a low odds strategy and usually means lots of work for low returns.

Chase

 

[TheEcho]

Thanks Hoof and Chase! Definitely makes sense. Was a bit stuck by some guys pushing to NOT ask for her schedule, though, which made sense since every "when are you free?" I've sent lately has been ignored/unanswered. The need to balance it out also makes sense, though there's been like 0 chasing from girls since my fwb. Feels like the only way to have anything happen is pursue, which obviously isn't working lol.

 

[HoofHearted]

Well whatever happens, i at least applaud you for taking action in the world. You're really trying

Some of your postings are about it interactions so very minuscule as to be nonimportant in the grand scheme, but that could just be where you're at with it. Maybe just more experience needed? I couldnt say.

But i would have to say you're walking the walk

And another thing is, I love the FU reports they can really entertaining and sometimes informative. And one or two of you write reports that are legit amazing to read, Fluxcaptor is particularly good at expressing himself in this rather nontraditional format.

 

[TheEcho]

Thanks Hoof! Yeah, being uber verbose is normal for me lol, have to be mindful in convos. I just try to give as full a picture as I can to best allow a diagnosis. Get how that would turn some people off, though (wall of text).

Lol, I am glad they're entertaining, my new journal is purely for entertainment currently. I hope to get some juicy LR's up here soon enough. I had bumped a couple old LR's with current reflections and new ones should be at least as juicy (but hopefully better syntax and structure). Definitely not for the faint of heart *cough my ex cough*

 

[TheEcho]

So she sent a close friends story (this just started for me this week) with her posing nicely and in Portuguese mentioning it's women's month, share your "wonderful" something, the translation failed me lol. I'm pretty over her and am split whether she's angling for more or just toying with me for attention.

*4 hours later*
Me: Nice
Me: Not quite spicy enough for me though

*right away*
Her: what to do. I don't have to please everybody.

Me:
Me: Exactly, just me *normal winky*


Wish I hadn't sent the emoji so fast, but again, I'm not really caring about her at this point. She'd be nice to get with, but isn't helping anything happen.

 

[orkie123]

So she sent a close friends story (this just started for me this week) with her posing nicely and in Portuguese mentioning it's women's month, share your "wonderful" something, the translation failed me lol. I'm pretty over her and am split whether she's angling for more or just toying with me for attention.

*4 hours later*
Me: Nice
Me: Not quite spicy enough for me though

*right away*
Her: what to do. I don't have to please everybody.

Me:
Me: Exactly, just me *normal winky*


Wish I hadn't sent the emoji so fast, but again, I'm not really caring about her at this point. She'd be nice to get with, but isn't helping anything happen.

I do similar texting mistakes all the time but it's not what you said that's not ideal, it's the context.

If she is into you, or the texting is at a high point, high energy, your msgs would probably work very well.

But if you feel you are the one chasing or she's recently not been very compliant, then you have to restart attraction. With your first message, you esentially assume a position of power, and she doesn't play with it because she doesnt feel you deserve it at this point.

Imagine a girl who's too into you while you are just meh about her and she makes a joke like "imagine how beautiful our kids would be if we get married". From the right girl, that would make you smile. From one that you are not interested much, it would completely put you off even if you know she is joking.

I would have responded to the story with an intrigue building msg thats easy to bite on

"Something crazy always happens to me on women's day"
Her: what?
"Girls in my life just become extremely sweet for a day. Like they sparkle with joy.
Is it all the flowers that you girls get?"
Her: hihi no flowers here
"Really? Im such a gentleman i would have got you 3 bouquets. It's a shame you are actually an exception to the rule"


I dno something stupid like that that gives her opportunities to bite and diverts attention away from you chasing her but gives her opportunities to qualify herself while also subtly showing value. (Who are these women who become sweet to you) (why are all these girls in ur life getting flowers and im not) (why am i an exception to the rule)
If at any point she plays along, or qualifies herself then you use it to soft close:


Her: hey i am actually really sweet, why am i an exception?!
"Just the vibes i get, but if you want you can prove it to me"
Her: "how?"
"Lets grab a drink at this awesome bar I know, and you can show me how sweet you really are"


If she doesnt respond or doesnt qualify herself, then you stop replying while having built a bit of intrigue while not giving her the satisfaction of getting compliments on her physical features. Then repeat next time in few days when she posts another story

 

[TheEcho]

I like the thought! Just banter it out. Jumping off the convo in chat with fog, yeah, I'm totally forgetting to match or underplay her level of interest in text. By coming in hot all the time, she has no room to "expand" her interest and I'm looking overly available.

I like this dynamic of me bringing real life situations that fit nicely into an article which dives deep into advice on said situation lol. Thanks for expanding on it, @Chase!

Update: Sent a "women's appreciation" close friends story of me posing shirtless a couple hours after the messages. It said she saw it when I checked around 8. Wake up and she had liked it at midnight, so she went back to it late at night lol.

I want to move on, but feels like there's promise here if I get my texting game together.