This is a question I am hoping maybe Chase could help with, but open to anyone elses comments. Recently after a hiatus from sexual activity I discovered that I have contracted both Genital Warts and HSV1 (both oraly and genitaly, go figure). Yes, it is a bummer but it is not the end of the world. I was always practicing safe sex (wish I was informed about carrageenan) but these developed at the base of my penis. Such is life. First off I want to say that every one should educate, and I mean really educate themselves about STDs. Now, both of these STDs are non life threatening and realy in the end just an inconvience. One positive is that it has really made me rexamine my attidudes towards super casual sex, and become more serious about appraoching sexual relations with a more relationship based mentality. But I am concerned about how this will effect my game. It has deffinately knocked my confidence down a bit. I mean, lets say I meet gorgeous woman and things start moving fast as they should to get her hooked. We are in my bedroom, really hitting it off...and then I have to tell her. Mood killer for sure. I kissed a girl recently and was worried that I was a symtomaticaly shedding and was going to give her cold sores. How does one keep their game air-tight when there is such an elephant in the room. What is a morally sound (proper disclosure) strategic approach towards game with an STD. Naturaly how well you know the person creates different factors. It might have to mean moving slower, but as we all know moving slow can hurt game. I am curious what you folks have to say.
Game with an STD (maybe some help from chase?)
- Thread starter Stray Dog
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2013
- Messages
- 278
I'm sorry to hear about your condition. I don't know if it's possible with today's technology, but i hope you can get better soon.
Anyway, I think you'll have to readjust your 'game' (i hate that word) radically. You'll have to focus on building trust and understanding. I honestly think same-day lays are out of the question here. Any girl who will willingly sleep with a guy who told her he has an STD on the same day he met her (and you have to tell her!) is not the girl you should sleep with anyway and probably has an STD herself. No matter how high the sexual tension is, i don't think any sane and educated girl will do this on the same day she has met you.
I think you should focus on setting dates, while keeping your fundamentals high enough to build trust and attraction. Tell her truthfully how your condition affects you and how you can practise safe-sex with her despite your STD. I reckon most girls will refuse to have sexual relations with you at that point, but that is the nature of having an STD. But most importantly, there will be much more girls who will consider all that has been said and will still go to bed with you, than had you told her last minute on the same day you bedded her.
Good luck
Anyway, I think you'll have to readjust your 'game' (i hate that word) radically. You'll have to focus on building trust and understanding. I honestly think same-day lays are out of the question here. Any girl who will willingly sleep with a guy who told her he has an STD on the same day he met her (and you have to tell her!) is not the girl you should sleep with anyway and probably has an STD herself. No matter how high the sexual tension is, i don't think any sane and educated girl will do this on the same day she has met you.
I think you should focus on setting dates, while keeping your fundamentals high enough to build trust and attraction. Tell her truthfully how your condition affects you and how you can practise safe-sex with her despite your STD. I reckon most girls will refuse to have sexual relations with you at that point, but that is the nature of having an STD. But most importantly, there will be much more girls who will consider all that has been said and will still go to bed with you, than had you told her last minute on the same day you bedded her.
Good luck
Hey Ryan, thanks for the thoughtful civil response. I was reading other forums where people possed a simliar question and it was a mess. A lot of medical discussion, while no one really offered a single bit of solid advice applicable to life advice. People shaming the person with the STD. One forum turning into an all out flame war. This is exactly what I would hope to find on The Girl Chase forum. Thoughtful individuals looking to help empower people to live a solid life. Thank you for starting out the responses off right, and giving what is probably the best response I have read yet on any forum.
You are right about quick hook ups being something of my past. Not the worst sacrafice but still a bit hard to let go of. It really can be so much fun getting it on with some babe you just met. But ultimately those interactions end up feeling empty any way and I have had enough to know that I will be somewhat unsatisfied afterward. So not the biggest loss.
You are correct about the fundamentals. That is what will carry me through these changes. Fundamentals are the root of ones approach regardless of circumstance. There will have to be changes though towards my approach, and I will not know exactly how to adapt until there has been a good amount of trial and error. Thats just how it is. New terrain calls for trial and error. I am wondering how this will effect my realtionship dynamics. I have never really been one for a strictly monogomous thing, and there is probably still room for things to be relativly poly but and STD does really change how that will work. I also am struggling a bit with my own moral standing as to the importance of disclosing before a kiss. Becuase really, can you ever see someone getting a first kiss with a lady if they have to disclose such a thing. I don't want this to become the sole topic of discussion on this thread, but still curious what people think about kiss disclosure for HSV1. I think the key is getting really getting a lady hooked before she finds out, but it will be a balancing act of timing, no doubt. Too soon, goodbye. Too late no attraction. Because as we all know, moving fast is key.
Here's to rolling with the punches!
Any other thoughts folks?
You know, a lot of people are facing this sort of thing and this could be a good opportunity as a collective to help people cope and move forward with their lives. Maybe even help them to do more than cope and actualy live life to the fullest despite the circumstances.
You are right about quick hook ups being something of my past. Not the worst sacrafice but still a bit hard to let go of. It really can be so much fun getting it on with some babe you just met. But ultimately those interactions end up feeling empty any way and I have had enough to know that I will be somewhat unsatisfied afterward. So not the biggest loss.
You are correct about the fundamentals. That is what will carry me through these changes. Fundamentals are the root of ones approach regardless of circumstance. There will have to be changes though towards my approach, and I will not know exactly how to adapt until there has been a good amount of trial and error. Thats just how it is. New terrain calls for trial and error. I am wondering how this will effect my realtionship dynamics. I have never really been one for a strictly monogomous thing, and there is probably still room for things to be relativly poly but and STD does really change how that will work. I also am struggling a bit with my own moral standing as to the importance of disclosing before a kiss. Becuase really, can you ever see someone getting a first kiss with a lady if they have to disclose such a thing. I don't want this to become the sole topic of discussion on this thread, but still curious what people think about kiss disclosure for HSV1. I think the key is getting really getting a lady hooked before she finds out, but it will be a balancing act of timing, no doubt. Too soon, goodbye. Too late no attraction. Because as we all know, moving fast is key.
Here's to rolling with the punches!
Any other thoughts folks?
You know, a lot of people are facing this sort of thing and this could be a good opportunity as a collective to help people cope and move forward with their lives. Maybe even help them to do more than cope and actualy live life to the fullest despite the circumstances.
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2012
- Messages
- 3,637
Stray,
In reality, STDs are actually quite common. It's very unfortunate that we haven't found direct remedies for these yet (although I hear there has been some significant progress recently, so keep your fingers crossed). The fact of the matter is: the rules for engaging in relationships with women are always the same -- bar nothing. You need to move fast, and you need to not kill the mood. All you can do is protect yourself and her as much as possible by wrapping your tool (or using carrageenan as you mentioned).
If you still want to bed new women, my advice would be to prepare yourself as much as possible for the first sexual encounter so that you don't spread it. That might even mean waiting until in between breakouts to go meet new women if that's what you feel most comfortable with. However, my advice is going to be to not tell them before you take them to bed for the first time. It simply is a mood-killer. However, as you mentioned, if you can get her to see what an amazing guy you are by taking her to bed quickly and suavely, she would be much more willing to talk about a future relationship if the feelings and emotions are already there. From there, you two can discuss how you would like to move forward with the sexual part of the relationship. You'll actually find that women are quite understanding if they have extremely strong attraction and feelings towards you, but you can only generate that type of attraction by taking a girl to bed first.
Ultimately, it's up to you for how you want to approach this. If you'd like to, you can try bringing it up before bedding some of the newer women you meet, but I have a strong feeling that you won't like the results. Not only is it a mood-killer, but it will also require you to move slowly (like you mentioned) which is going to kill attraction for you in the end anyway.
Regardless of your decision, make sure to see your doctor regularly and take any medication that he or she prescribes on a regular basis. This can at least help you keep clear most of the time.
Hope this helps!
- Franco
In reality, STDs are actually quite common. It's very unfortunate that we haven't found direct remedies for these yet (although I hear there has been some significant progress recently, so keep your fingers crossed). The fact of the matter is: the rules for engaging in relationships with women are always the same -- bar nothing. You need to move fast, and you need to not kill the mood. All you can do is protect yourself and her as much as possible by wrapping your tool (or using carrageenan as you mentioned).
If you still want to bed new women, my advice would be to prepare yourself as much as possible for the first sexual encounter so that you don't spread it. That might even mean waiting until in between breakouts to go meet new women if that's what you feel most comfortable with. However, my advice is going to be to not tell them before you take them to bed for the first time. It simply is a mood-killer. However, as you mentioned, if you can get her to see what an amazing guy you are by taking her to bed quickly and suavely, she would be much more willing to talk about a future relationship if the feelings and emotions are already there. From there, you two can discuss how you would like to move forward with the sexual part of the relationship. You'll actually find that women are quite understanding if they have extremely strong attraction and feelings towards you, but you can only generate that type of attraction by taking a girl to bed first.
Ultimately, it's up to you for how you want to approach this. If you'd like to, you can try bringing it up before bedding some of the newer women you meet, but I have a strong feeling that you won't like the results. Not only is it a mood-killer, but it will also require you to move slowly (like you mentioned) which is going to kill attraction for you in the end anyway.
Regardless of your decision, make sure to see your doctor regularly and take any medication that he or she prescribes on a regular basis. This can at least help you keep clear most of the time.
Hope this helps!
- Franco
Franco, good to hear from you. I totaly get where you are coming from. You clearly understand how strong attraction developes, Also, I strongly feel the people have blown some of the more minor STDs way out of proportion. So you get warts on your junk and then never have them again. So What? But still, I guess I just find it hard to believe that most woman would be accepting of someone sleeping with them, putting them at risk of herpes, and then disclosing this info later. Also, what if she does indeed get the virus during this non disclosed period. There are really so many factors. Sure disclosing before a kiss does seem rediculous, and most people probably would never think too much of it if you told them after you kissed them. Although they might not be so understanding if say they got the virus from that kiss. Truth is, no one with HSV1 would ever kiss again if they had to always disclose. It is a lot to expect givin the nature of attraction and how it works. But people hold a way different standard when it comes to their junk. Thats just how it is. I can already see a sea of fuming woman knocking down my door with pitchforks. OR perhaps I am mistaken and they will be understanding, I just find it hard ti believe. If the woman who gave me the virus (the herpetrator, har har. And i have no idea which lady it was) had later disclosed that she knew all along and never told me I would be upset that she had never gave me the option. Even if I was super into her it would create a dilema because I would be asking my self how much I could expect this person to be honest and upfront about important issues in the future. I would potentialy misstrust her from then on out, even If I thought see was amazing before. But then on the flip side I think about the woman who could have been the herpetrator and if they had disclosed there is really only one that I would have stuck it out with. The others not so much. Thing is though, regardless of sex or not they could have never had me from the get go. Only thing is if they had discloseds then they would have never had sex with me as well. So the attraction was basic, regardless of the sex. I don't know. Just some thoughts
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2012
- Messages
- 3,637
Stray,
I understand your concerns, but the bottom line is that you can either wither away not engaging in relationships (sexual or non-sexual) for the rest of your life because you've contracted an STD (that's actually not a life-threatening one; it's just more of an annoyance as you mentioned), or you can learn to deal with it the best possible way while reducing risk on both your part and her part.
One thing you're underestimating here is how powerful attraction can be for women. Men are more logical creatures by nature, and the strongest men tend to think more logically and get less attached emotionally. You have to think of the situation from a girl's point of view; for example, let's say James Bond has the herp. He swiftly and suavely takes a woman to bed like you see in the movies -- he's easily the strongest, sexiest man that that woman has EVER met, and she knows it. It's also the best sex she's ever had. Do you think she's going to yell, scream, and degrade James Bond later after she finds out she contracted something? Probably not. As a matter of fact, it would be much more desirable for her to keep him around as the sexiest man she has ever met and just learn to deal with the small inconvenience that comes with it.
Part of what this website does is teach you how to become that man -- the man that is so desirable that she'll literally do just short of anything to have you. But getting a woman to develop attraction of that magnitude still requires you to be the strongest, sexiest man that she has ever met, and in order to be the strongest and sexiest man she has ever met, you have to take her to bed quickly.
Now, if you want to lay off the random hook-ups because of the guilt that might come along with sleeping with a girl just once and possibly giving her a life-long problem, then I can understand that. There is a sense of guilt that can be attached to doing this. But if you feel like you've met a woman that is worth keeping around, then you can't have any doubts or second thoughts about what needs to be done to get her. You must take her to bed quickly, and you must do it in the most suave and sexiest way you can possibly do it.
Believe me, if a girl thinks she can have a man that is as sexy as Daniel Craig (or even more sexy if you've REALLY honed your fundamentals), then an STD is going to feel like just a small bump in the road for her compared to having the man of her dreams!
- Franco
I understand your concerns, but the bottom line is that you can either wither away not engaging in relationships (sexual or non-sexual) for the rest of your life because you've contracted an STD (that's actually not a life-threatening one; it's just more of an annoyance as you mentioned), or you can learn to deal with it the best possible way while reducing risk on both your part and her part.
One thing you're underestimating here is how powerful attraction can be for women. Men are more logical creatures by nature, and the strongest men tend to think more logically and get less attached emotionally. You have to think of the situation from a girl's point of view; for example, let's say James Bond has the herp. He swiftly and suavely takes a woman to bed like you see in the movies -- he's easily the strongest, sexiest man that that woman has EVER met, and she knows it. It's also the best sex she's ever had. Do you think she's going to yell, scream, and degrade James Bond later after she finds out she contracted something? Probably not. As a matter of fact, it would be much more desirable for her to keep him around as the sexiest man she has ever met and just learn to deal with the small inconvenience that comes with it.
Part of what this website does is teach you how to become that man -- the man that is so desirable that she'll literally do just short of anything to have you. But getting a woman to develop attraction of that magnitude still requires you to be the strongest, sexiest man that she has ever met, and in order to be the strongest and sexiest man she has ever met, you have to take her to bed quickly.
Now, if you want to lay off the random hook-ups because of the guilt that might come along with sleeping with a girl just once and possibly giving her a life-long problem, then I can understand that. There is a sense of guilt that can be attached to doing this. But if you feel like you've met a woman that is worth keeping around, then you can't have any doubts or second thoughts about what needs to be done to get her. You must take her to bed quickly, and you must do it in the most suave and sexiest way you can possibly do it.
Believe me, if a girl thinks she can have a man that is as sexy as Daniel Craig (or even more sexy if you've REALLY honed your fundamentals), then an STD is going to feel like just a small bump in the road for her compared to having the man of her dreams!
- Franco
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2013
- Messages
- 278
There are a lot of cases like this in my country. Guy has sex with girl, girl gets infected, girl takes guy to court, guy is fucked. You got to tell the woman before you have sex with her for legal purposes at least.
http://www.ivillage.com/spreading-std-could-land-you-jail/4-a-258378
I'm honestly not trying to be rude, but if i was in your situation, i'll stop casual sex/game, and just focus on finding a loving, beautiful woman to have a relationship with (maybe find a woman with the same condition?). Far less stress.
http://www.ivillage.com/spreading-std-could-land-you-jail/4-a-258378
I'm honestly not trying to be rude, but if i was in your situation, i'll stop casual sex/game, and just focus on finding a loving, beautiful woman to have a relationship with (maybe find a woman with the same condition?). Far less stress.
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2012
- Messages
- 3,637
Ryan said:
Stray Dog said:
Correct. This only varies per location, and the severe punishments only exist in cases where you pass on a life-threatening STD such as HIV/AIDs. Most women won't be willing to go through the trouble of taking you to court for a misdemeanor because they picked up Genital Warts from you. And assuming you train yourself to be the man that we suggest you be on this website, they likely won't feel the need to.
That being said, there is always some risk involved when you're infected with something, but the risk varies upon you, the girl, the disease, the location, and other variables about the relationship between the two partners, so it's always good to keep this in mind and protect yourself (and the girl) appropriately.
- Franco
How on earth did I miss this thread before posting this:
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=29&t=4412
Now I feel a bit insensitive posting that thread. Sorry to hear about your situation.
I get the feeling from the forum that it just isn't that big of a deal to the people here.
On a side note, rumor on the street Jessica Alba has Type 1. She gets a bunch of anti-viral medicine to keep it suppressed (if the rumor is true). I would still do her
Stray Dog, I'm just wondering do you have any idea who gave them to you? Did the symptoms come on overnight or was it like a days or weeks? How often were you making out and having sex when you got them?
Just wondering, cause it really is my only concern about STDs (since I take easily take effective precautions agains the other ones).
Ya, this forum has classy, respective, and intelligent people making it one of my favorite places on the internet.
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=29&t=4412
Now I feel a bit insensitive posting that thread. Sorry to hear about your situation.
I get the feeling from the forum that it just isn't that big of a deal to the people here.
On a side note, rumor on the street Jessica Alba has Type 1. She gets a bunch of anti-viral medicine to keep it suppressed (if the rumor is true). I would still do her
Stray Dog, I'm just wondering do you have any idea who gave them to you? Did the symptoms come on overnight or was it like a days or weeks? How often were you making out and having sex when you got them?
Just wondering, cause it really is my only concern about STDs (since I take easily take effective precautions agains the other ones).
Ya, this forum has classy, respective, and intelligent people making it one of my favorite places on the internet.
Haha man, you are not being insensitive. You have an honest concern. No one wants to have cold sores. In the end though, it just ain't that big of a deal.
I have no idea who it was. I was seeing lot of different girls for about a 5 month period. Then I became a emersed in other pursuits and took a break from ladies for 4 months. My immune system was down and the symptoms came up.
You could sleep with a twenty girls in 5 months or only one. It only takes the one. Of course the more you see the greater the risk. Thing is it can take days to years before symptoms come up. About 80-90% of infected people are asymptomatic and don't know they have it. You can pass it on without symptoms becuase of a of a thing called asymptomatic viral shedding. Asymptomatic viral shedding only happens about 5-10% of the time, so the risk of spredding it when you do not have active sores it pretty low but still a factor. Usualy the person who is infected has one intial outbreak which is often the worst of them and then thier body builds antibodies to the virus and send it into remission, where it is not longer active. If the sores come back it is usualy when your immune system is down. The less often you have symptoms the less often youy are asymptomaticaly shedding. So if someone has not had a cold sore in say 6 years chances of them shedding are less than some one who gets them every three months. So it can often be hard knowing where you got.
Another fact; any where from 60-80% of the population is said to have it. So if you are kissing you are at risk. Bottom line. Thats kind of what makes it so funny, and kinda ridiculus, that people freak out about it so much. Just because some one knows they have and tells you the risk in kissing them (which if thier cold sores are not active are very very low), the next person who doesn't know could have it and you are at the same risk. In the end though it is such a minor inconvience when you have it (no worst then getting a cold, in fact probably less worst). Sure the less people you kiss the less you are at risk, but don't let the risk stop you from kissing people man. Seriously, not the biggest deal. There is just a lot of stigma around it. The common cold is a virus you can get from kissing, are people all up in arms about colds? Of course one would hope someone doesn't kiss them when they have a cold, same with a cold sore. There is a distinctive tingle in the lips before one appears, and any one who knows that tingle should be socialy concious enough to avoid kissing during that time.
Herpes is far from the end of the world. Relax and enjoy life. Kissing is fun
I have no idea who it was. I was seeing lot of different girls for about a 5 month period. Then I became a emersed in other pursuits and took a break from ladies for 4 months. My immune system was down and the symptoms came up.
You could sleep with a twenty girls in 5 months or only one. It only takes the one. Of course the more you see the greater the risk. Thing is it can take days to years before symptoms come up. About 80-90% of infected people are asymptomatic and don't know they have it. You can pass it on without symptoms becuase of a of a thing called asymptomatic viral shedding. Asymptomatic viral shedding only happens about 5-10% of the time, so the risk of spredding it when you do not have active sores it pretty low but still a factor. Usualy the person who is infected has one intial outbreak which is often the worst of them and then thier body builds antibodies to the virus and send it into remission, where it is not longer active. If the sores come back it is usualy when your immune system is down. The less often you have symptoms the less often youy are asymptomaticaly shedding. So if someone has not had a cold sore in say 6 years chances of them shedding are less than some one who gets them every three months. So it can often be hard knowing where you got.
Another fact; any where from 60-80% of the population is said to have it. So if you are kissing you are at risk. Bottom line. Thats kind of what makes it so funny, and kinda ridiculus, that people freak out about it so much. Just because some one knows they have and tells you the risk in kissing them (which if thier cold sores are not active are very very low), the next person who doesn't know could have it and you are at the same risk. In the end though it is such a minor inconvience when you have it (no worst then getting a cold, in fact probably less worst). Sure the less people you kiss the less you are at risk, but don't let the risk stop you from kissing people man. Seriously, not the biggest deal. There is just a lot of stigma around it. The common cold is a virus you can get from kissing, are people all up in arms about colds? Of course one would hope someone doesn't kiss them when they have a cold, same with a cold sore. There is a distinctive tingle in the lips before one appears, and any one who knows that tingle should be socialy concious enough to avoid kissing during that time.
Herpes is far from the end of the world. Relax and enjoy life. Kissing is fun
Going to add that doctors don't take herp very seriously and even when you get your average std screen it doesn't include herp. They test for HSV1 and HSV2 seperatly so you have ask for a specific one or both. But you also have to be very persuasive as a lot of doctors will almost flat out refuse unless you convince them. Why? 1: it is so common. 2: it is relativly harmless. and 3: it is an expensive test. So if you are asking a partner about their STD screen ask if they know for certain they got tested for herp. In fact, do you know you don't have herp? Have you been tested specificaly for it? Also, lets say you contracted it yesterday and got your Herp blood test today; it will probably come up as a false negative because your body has not built up the antibodies yet. When they test your blood they are not testing for the virus it self, they cannot do that. They test to see if your body has the anti bodies in it, which would mean that you have been exposed to the virus and your body has found a way to cope. So, if youy are infected it usualy takes about 3-4 months before you will test positive. Remember, 60-80% percent of the population has it and 80-90% percent of infected people don't know they have it.
Hey Stray Dog,
One of my closest friends picked up genital warts back in his early twenties, he didn't know anything about the STD and had only been with his school sweetheart! (Unlucky right?)
I told him not to worry about it, and after I made him sit down with a doctor he researched everything about the STD he could. Afterwards he did the opposite of what anyone in this situation should do...he withdrew from the world!
It took me, and a lot of other other friends, two years to finally get him out dating/socializing again; and that killed us to watch!
Most people here have said don't worry too much, it's not threatening..and they're completely right! You can't hold off on women for the rest of your life!
Just be safe, think intelligently, and live your life the way you were; the way you wanted.
Just my two cents on the issue, hope it helped in some form or another!
Hudson
One of my closest friends picked up genital warts back in his early twenties, he didn't know anything about the STD and had only been with his school sweetheart! (Unlucky right?)
I told him not to worry about it, and after I made him sit down with a doctor he researched everything about the STD he could. Afterwards he did the opposite of what anyone in this situation should do...he withdrew from the world!
It took me, and a lot of other other friends, two years to finally get him out dating/socializing again; and that killed us to watch!
Most people here have said don't worry too much, it's not threatening..and they're completely right! You can't hold off on women for the rest of your life!
Just be safe, think intelligently, and live your life the way you were; the way you wanted.
Just my two cents on the issue, hope it helped in some form or another!
Hudson
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2013
- Messages
- 93
Any educated fellow would tell you that genital warts is harmless. It's a minor skin condition that has a slim possibility of causing major problems. If people really want to be scared of something, it should be driving vehicles at rates that make death an easy and frequent occurrence. But people will continue to drive their car every single day, not realizing that it is much more dangerous than herpes.
It is my view that if you contract a minor problem, it shouldn't hold you back, even if others think it is a problem. There's plenty of women who will tell you that having sex out of marriage is bad, but we know that this is a view propagated by mainstream views on the subject, rather than the perceptible reality of things. Simply never bring it up unless you need to.
As for long-term relationships, I'd definitely advise heavy screening to ensure that women do not subscribe to an ignorant world-view. Your screen can be as simple as telling the woman you have HSV-1. An educated girl would understand that this does detract from your value, but it isn't the end of the world if she gets it. I personally feel this way. If a woman with extremely high value happens to have HSV-1, I'm going to understand how that places things in perspective and realize that even though it does detract from her value, it is such a minuscule amount that I'd still date her without alarm.
It is my view that if you contract a minor problem, it shouldn't hold you back, even if others think it is a problem. There's plenty of women who will tell you that having sex out of marriage is bad, but we know that this is a view propagated by mainstream views on the subject, rather than the perceptible reality of things. Simply never bring it up unless you need to.
As for long-term relationships, I'd definitely advise heavy screening to ensure that women do not subscribe to an ignorant world-view. Your screen can be as simple as telling the woman you have HSV-1. An educated girl would understand that this does detract from your value, but it isn't the end of the world if she gets it. I personally feel this way. If a woman with extremely high value happens to have HSV-1, I'm going to understand how that places things in perspective and realize that even though it does detract from her value, it is such a minuscule amount that I'd still date her without alarm.