Gamifying

[MickDavies]

To help me get over the hump with my cold approaches I've decided to make my game more gamified. I've set myself the following milestones. At each level I'll award myself & I've decided to post after each one describing my attitude towards approaching.

Goals:
Level 1: 10 approaches
Level 2: 20 approaches
Level 3: 30 approaches
Level 4: 50 approaches
Level 5: 100 approaches
Level 6: 150 approaches
Level 7: 200 approaches

At Level 7 I will review my progress & set my next set of goals. So far it has taken 2 weeks & I'm only on 6 so at this rate it will be another week before I reach level 1...

 

[MickDavies]

Make that 8 Also to raise the stakes, for the duration of the challenge I'm going to refrain from any sexual activity unless it's with girls I meet from cold approach. Any girls I date from any other means I'll look for an opportunity to tell them that I'm on a sex fast. Looking forward to the reactions

 

[MickDavies]

I'm now at level 1. The basic approach is starting to feel easy for me now on stationery single targets. I still miss the occasional approach but that happens for external reasons, such as if it seems she is about to be joined by her friend or there are other people nearby who can easily overhear, or if she is doing something that signals she is unwilling to be approached such as wearing earphones. Since my first couple of approaches everyone seems to respond quite warmly to me, I have started also approaching women who are engrossed in what they are doing (texting etc) & have had warm responses although they did signal that they wanted to get back to what they were doing. As I work towards level 2 I want to start overcoming my resistance to all the above as ideally I would like to be able to approach any woman anywhere. I also want to start thinking about extending the approach towards a conversation. By the time I get to level 4 I will have my first 50 approaches down & I want to be ready to do more than just approach by then. Still, I feel satisfied that this is a pretty decent start for me.

 

[MickDavies]

Supplemental report, I was out walking with a friend and his son earlier today and saw a cute girl walking her dog. I direct approached her and we started talking. It was probably a lot easier with the dog and my friend's son being there but it surprised me that I was able to approach in that situation as a couple of weeks ago I would have been way too embarrassed. I guess it shows how quick progress can be doing this stuff, especiallly now I'm publicly accountable. I doubled my approach count in 2 days

 

[MickDavies]

I was at a family gathering this weekend so was unable to do many cold approaches. I'm still only on approach 15, however it was quite a special one as it was my first conversation with a girl through cold approach. I just felt like it was time. I think I was even more nervous with this one than I was when I first started cold approaching, especially as it ended up being an exceptionally beautiful girl who I chose. I really fluffed my opener & ended up talking way too much about myself, not enough about her. Still I got a very warm, friendly reception & she hugged me when I left. If I hadn't been so nervous it would have been interesting to do some more compliance tests. Still, I now have a positive anchor for stopping a very beautiful girl on the street, talking to her & getting a great reaction from her. Now the only barriers I have left are girls with headphones, in groups or with many people nearby. Then it is just a case of becoming comfortable in increasingly high energy environments & building up compliance towards the girl agreeing to date me.

In other news, I have a date tonight. I have set things up so that she will come to my place at the start of the date. It will be interesting to see how that goes down.

 

[Fuck This]

Stop counting the number of approaches after the point where you are doing it to reach a daily goal.

Think of it like shooting free throws. After awhile you need to improve your form to be more accurate and on target

Or lifting weights. Once you can lift the bar 10X you need to add weight.

If you do 200 approaches and don't try to learn anything from it then you just reinforce a negative self image.

You are reinventing the wheel. There is a Newbie assignment listed somewhere here that is a structured approach.....

 

[MickDavies]

Well, since I’ve already done everything in Chase’s challenge bar asking for a number, it would be prettty bloody absurd to start with that now Actually getting 4 numbers in the final day of a 2 week noob challenge is pretty unrealistic by all accounts: obviously I highly respect Chase’s opinion or I wouldn’t be here but I see no problem redesigning the wheel if the original design is flawed. Also, given the number of massively well respected coaches who have reccomended trying to get a certain number of rejections, going for attempts doesn’t seem like such a dumb idea... If you do spot anything wrong with my form from what I have written & kindly point it out, that would be gratefully received! Cheers

 

[MickDavies]

It seems like way more than 2 and a half weeks that I posted my question on direct vs indirect openers. Looking back at it now I’m actually grateful I got so harshly rejected. I realised that it does not matter how hard it is to approach or how genuine the compliment, I am not owed any particular response from the other person. At that point I stripped my part right back & focused on improving the only part of the interaction that I could do anything about. I just focused on giving a genuine compliment without looking for anything more in return than to see their response & maybe a thank you. As I saw increasingly powerful responses from the girls I talked to I started asking myself if I wouldn’t be offering even more value by telling her I wanted to talk with her & giving her the opportunity to have a conversation with me. The way I see it, I’m going through a process of learning to give more and more value. If I do not receive a commensurate level of value in return I will need at some point to start making my own demands. Part of that will involve understanding how much I truly offer. The only way I know how to do that is to strip back my own bs as much as I can & focus on what seems real.