Gaming now I'm Older

[aquapura001]

I started gaming in my early 20s that was around 2007. Since then i have been through a roller coaster.
I have been with a lot of women and had a rewarding sex life. around 28 i got into a LTR that lasted 9 years.
During this time i still gamed but not as much. In 2019 our relationship broke down i was 36 about to turn 37
then the pandemic struck. I tried but haven't really got back up there until now basically 39 (in jan). I will be honest
I don't feel as confident as i used to when i had youth on my side. I do feel older now and have various insecurities about
my age and looks. I haven't let myself go and am still fit and healthy. But i do have normal age related stuff like forehead lines
recessed hair line etc. I used to often get looks from women on the street and in clubs now women seldomly look. I don't believe I'm unattractive i'm just 'normal'.

With that background I want some honest opinion on how to progress from here. I know there are lots of comments around older guys doing well. Some of the short coming i'm facing are as follows:

(1) Social circle no longer large and conducive to going out much at night game. I am working on this and getting guys to go out with. But there is also the fact that younger guys really do think i'm older and don't want to hang...
(2) Insecurities around looks.
(3) BIGGIE - I feel like someone my age hitting on girls in the street (especially a lot younger) isn't something i should be doing because of my age. I know this is completely in my head and societies view on me but it's a belief i kinda still hold at some level. When i was younger i justified going in to many girls due to my age.
(4) Competition of younger guys
(5) Status - I do fine but i'm no doctor, pilot of CEO. I have a typical corporate job, whatever.



Can anyone give me some direction on where to go from here in terms of mentality, beliefs and getting back out there. Is age really "just a number" because honestly it was a lot easier to pick up when i was in my late 20s - 35 than now.
Is there hope for me to find a hottie and get into a relationship with a younger attractive girl at my age now? I will keep fighting and putting in the effort - there is nothing else to do but move forward however any advice on how to overcome some of these short comings (without bullshit sugar coating) would be appreciated.

 

[Skills]

I started gaming in my early 20s that was around 2007. Since then i have been through a roller coaster.
I have been with a lot of women and had a rewarding sex life. around 28 i got into a LTR that lasted 9 years.
During this time i still gamed but not as much. In 2019 our relationship broke down i was 36 about to turn 37
then the pandemic struck. I tried but haven't really got back up there until now basically 39 (in jan). I will be honest
I don't feel as confident as i used to when i had youth on my side. I do feel older now and have various insecurities about
my age and looks. I haven't let myself go and am still fit and healthy. But i do have normal age related stuff like forehead lines
recessed hair line etc. I used to often get looks from women on the street and in clubs now women seldomly look. I don't believe I'm unattractive i'm just 'normal'.

With that background I want some honest opinion on how to progress from here. I know there are lots of comments around older guys doing well. Some of the short coming i'm facing are as follows:

(1) Social circle no longer large and conducive to going out much at night game. I am working on this and getting guys to go out with. But there is also the fact that younger guys really do think i'm older and don't want to hang...
(2) Insecurities around looks.
(3) BIGGIE - I feel like someone my age hitting on girls in the street (especially a lot younger) isn't something i should be doing because of my age. I know this is completely in my head and societies view on me but it's a belief i kinda still hold at some level. When i was younger i justified going in to many girls due to my age.
(4) Competition of younger guys
(5) Status - I do fine but i'm no doctor, pilot of CEO. I have a typical corporate job, whatever.



Can anyone give me some direction on where to go from here in terms of mentality, beliefs and getting back out there. Is age really "just a number" because honestly it was a lot easier to pick up when i was in my late 20s - 35 than now.
Is there hope for me to find a hottie and get into a relationship with a younger attractive girl at my age now? I will keep fighting and putting in the effort - there is nothing else to do but move forward however any advice on how to overcome some of these short comings (without bullshit sugar coating) would be appreciated.

Well the main thing is not be your worst enemy and thinking the "i am too old", Second and i am coming out with a video on this soon, the key to gaming when older is to look like you are in your 30s, the thing is most older guys are: - out of shape - dressing in styles including beard and hair cuts 10 years out of style..... - out of touch with dating/gaming scenes....

- the older has advantage on the younger due to experience and calmness that can't be taught (again as long as you look in your 30s) go for women 10 years to 20 years younger you should be fine...

- just lol you are 35 that is the prime of most guys good with women perfect age

look at all this sex symbels most in their 30s;

 

[POB]

(1) Social circle no longer large and conducive to going out much at night game. I am working on this and getting guys to go out with. But there is also the fact that younger guys really do think i'm older and don't want to hang...

Go out alone. You don't need younger wings ruining your frame and dragging you down with them.

(2) Insecurities around looks.

Go to the gym, focus on grooming and dress in style. It's not that hard to look like you are in your 30s deep into your 50s.

(3) BIGGIE - I feel like someone my age hitting on girls in the street (especially a lot younger) isn't something i should be doing because of my age. I know this is completely in my head and societies view on me but it's a belief i kinda still hold at some level. When i was younger i justified going in to many girls due to my age.

Why? Probably +70% of women under 28 want to hook up with guys 40 and above (field tested).

(4) Competition of younger guys

Almost non-existent, specially in 2021.
25% or so of women don't like older guys anyway. Just avoid them.

(5) Status - I do fine but i'm no doctor, pilot of CEO. I have a typical corporate job, whatever.

I haven't owed own a car for the past 4 years. Who cares?
Women can come meet me through uber.
This status BS is typical from guys sabotaging guys.
Game and social frame trumps money and status any time of the day.

 

[Derek da man]

Can anyone give me some direction on where to go from here in terms of mentality, beliefs and getting back out there. Is age really "just a number" because honestly it was a lot easier to pick up when i was in my late 20s - 35 than now.

As you said, age is a number, most women don't see you as a number, they see you as someone who MAY be attractive to them and therefore they may be interested. Some women are fixed on a particular age range, within that category some will be fixed on younger guys but an equal number will be fixed on older guys so look for these as the younger guys simply don't present any competition what so ever. Most women are fairly open minded about age, it's more about how you respond and relate to them.

(1) Social circle no longer large and conducive to going out much at night game. I am working on this and getting guys to go out with. But there is also the fact that younger guys really do think i'm older and don't want to hang...

I've stopped worrying about hanging out with other guys when I'm looking for dating opportunities, I've developed multiple "social circles" where I get to meet plenty of women with shared interests which makes opening easy, if there's a connection then I start screening and escalating

(2) Insecurities around looks.

I don't worry about this at all, I find that as long as you have good fundamentals then women like a variety of types of men - being good looking is usually not their main concern. They will rule you out if you are "unattractive" but otherwise my experience is that they aren't that bothered by looks.

(3) BIGGIE - I feel like someone my age hitting on girls in the street (especially a lot younger) isn't something i should be doing because of my age. I know this is completely in my head and societies view on me but it's a belief i kinda still hold at some level. When i was younger i justified going in to many girls due to my age.

I've not really got a lot of experience of "day game" but I meet women out and about and, like most situations, if they are warm I continue chatting to them, if they aren't interested I move along. I rely mainly on social circle as I'm out at least 5 nights a week, usually in several different circles.

(4) Competition of younger guys

This may be how you feel, but it's not how most women see a situation. If you are coming on strongly, then maybe, but maturity requires a slightly different way of holding a conversation. It's not as fast paced or about presenting yourself, it's about your confidence having accepted yourself for who you are and being focused on her interests - which is why a lot of women like a more mature man, they tend to listen more.

Status - I do fine but i'm no doctor, pilot of CEO. I have a typical corporate job, whatever.

I'm an engineer, I have a good paying job, so I'm not struggling but live within my means. Compared to most men I'm fairly well off but that doesn't really help because it's more about your inner self and how you present - as response to point 4 above. As long as you have somewhere clean and tidy to take her she won't hold it against you.

To be honest, when I was younger I was crap with women. I wish I knew then what I know now. Since lock down was lifted I've get more dates each month than I used to average in a whole year. Typically I get a new date every couple of weeks although this does vary. I don't go out to collect phone numbers of girls that "might" progress to a date. If we get on I ask her on a date, no messing about, she accepts or she doesn't. Even if she doesn't I'm still nice to her and leave the invitation open if she changes her mind, and I've had several that have come back to me a few weeks later to ask if the offer is still open. We go out and we enjoy ourselves, if it progresses to sex then I'll see her again, on my terms. If not that's fine. Also I don't have trouble with them flaking or standing me up - thank god!

I wish I was under 40 again with the confidence I now have, not that I'm complaining as at 51 I regularly attract girls in their mid 20s. Stop worrying about the age thing and focus on finding a way of meeting women in fun relaxed atmosphere that you both enjoy and you'll find openings you never knew existed.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

Can anyone give me some direction on where to go from here in terms of mentality, beliefs and getting back out there. I

The one thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is the internet.

The internet was big in 2011, without a doubt. And we had to deal with text messaging then as well.

But there are dating sites and social media expectations, (as well as girls googling your government name to dig up dirt on you).

Your digital footprint is another burden, but it can also be a bonus when done well.

WIA

 

[aquapura001]

"I wish I was under 40 again with the confidence I now have, not that I'm complaining as at 51"

This hit me hard.

Thanks everyone for the true enlightenment- it has honestly changed my beliefs. I'll come back and re-read this again.

 

[Orgasmatron]

this gives me hope too dude, I'm 43 and just getting into this after getting divorced. I can't offer much in the way of advice but I think looking after yourself, eating healthy, exercising and working on your fundamentals is important

 

[jonnywishbone]

@aquapura001 totally in the same boat man, in fact I could have written your post verbatim about my own situation. I'm 43 though now!

I don't have a lot of advice others haven't already mentioned, though one thing I would say is that for me I've seen a huge drop off of matches on apps like Tinder once I hit 40, which I put down to younger girls setting their options to filter < 40yo. It used to be an easy source of dates for me, but now its practically useless - so I would say make the most of that if its your thing whilst you're < 40 (although you can obv lie about your age later!). Just something I wish I'd considered when I was a bit younger anyway...

Also I'm pretty sure Neil Strauss and Juggler from The Game were both about 37 when the book came out, so still plenty of opportunity to be had...

 

[Tim Iron]

@aquapura001 totally in the same boat man, in fact I could have written your post verbatim about my own situation. I'm 43 though now!

I don't have a lot of advice others haven't already mentioned, though one thing I would say is that for me I've seen a huge drop off of matches on apps like Tinder once I hit 40, which I put down to younger girls setting their options to filter < 40yo. It used to be an easy source of dates for me, but now its practically useless - so I would say make the most of that if its your thing whilst you're < 40 (although you can obv lie about your age later!). Just something I wish I'd considered when I was a bit younger anyway...

Also I'm pretty sure Neil Strauss and Juggler from The Game were both about 37 when the book came out, so still plenty of opportunity to be had...

When I crossed age 30 years, I went off all dating apps and I keep pushing myself to approach even in "tight" situations where girls are too busy or distracted. I still prefer that to dating apps.