Gaming With a Friend Who Has No Skills

[JT Sunshine]

Some context, in couple of weeks I’m going out of town with a good buddy, we have one day that is work related and three days to just wander the streets of LA. We’re staying in a very populated area with tons of nightlife/daygame opportunities, and I plan on going all-out.

My dude is super down with the idea of going out and meeting women, but has very, very little experience. He has his looks down and is fairly well put together, but is EXTREMELY shy, will absolutely not approach a woman, and will probably be stuck to me like glue if we are out at a bar/club. I’ve gone out with him in my hometown a couple of times this year and he usually stands there silent and watches me approach.

I am by no means great at this, but I have no problem approaching girls, usually while out solo, and have a couple lays this year, one from night game cold approach and one other from OL.

My question - does anyone have any experience going out with a super newbie wing? Do I try and run through a quick game plan with him before? A mini boot camp? I figure we should look for groups of 2 girls, I run the set, hype him up and then pass him off to the shy one.

Or do I go apeshit online before we go, hopefully get in a good conversation with a girl, and straight up tell her “I am here with my buddy who is super shy. You should come out with us tonight and bring a friend who can get him out of his shell”.

Idk. I always work alone, I love a challenge but I fear if I go for two-sets the friend of whoever I am going for will get bored with him and drag my girl away, especially if they’re hotties. Any tips are appreciated!

 

[Chase]

@JT Sunshine,

Since he's your buddy, I would focus on just handling the opens yourself, while looking for two-sets, then accomplishment-intro'ing him and handling most of the early conversation to get him comfortable.

The 4 Best Ways to Introduce Girls to Your Wingman

There are four good ways to introduce your wingman to girls. Which you choose will depend on how well (or not) the girls have responded to you so far. How do you approach girls with a wingman? If you're like a lot of unskilled guys, you'll both go barreling in at once, distracting and possibly...

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Most guys struggle the most with the initial 5-10 minutes of conversation. Once you get them past that they can at least vibe with girls. You just hold his hand through that part of it.

While you're talking to the girls, after you've brought him in, just keep including him in stuff and telling the girls interesting things about him:

"I travel so much for business it's nuts. But really, this guy right here is the Travel King. Did you know our job sent this guy to Kuala Lumpur? I didn't even know where that was before, I had to look it up."​

​

[pause; let the girls ooh and aah and ask him where that is and give him a chance to talk about his experiences there]​

Just keep throwing him bones like that that let him DHV to the girls.

At some point with a little luck one of the girls will be into you and the other will be into him.

Just pop into his set every now and then and try to help him DHV some more, including over sexual stuff as it gets farther along.

You can also actually physically escalate the two of them if your buddy does not know what to do:

Buddy is talking to girl. Girl is leaning in, smiling, clearly super into him. Buddy seems too nervous to do anything.​

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You approach them.​

​

You to girl: "Hey, stand up for a second?"​

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Girl stands up.​

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You: "Awesome." To buddy: "Sit up straight for me?"​

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Buddy sits up.​

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You: "Perfect." Take girl by the arm and guide her to buddy. Point at buddy's lap. "Sit here."​

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Girl sits down in buddy's lap, smiling. Buddy looks a little awkward.​

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"You two kids have fun."​

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Go back to your girl.​

You doing a few things like this also signals to the girl that, "Oh, I guess he likes me, he's just really shy," which encourages her to take a lot more initiative herself.

Chase

 

[Derek da man]

Does your buddy know you go out to meet/pick-up girls or does he just think you're cool and good with the ladies? He needs to know what you're expecting of him and vice-a-versa. Then, assuming that doesn't scare him witless, you can put a plan together.

Providing he's down for meeting girls he'll be up for it but his main worry will be about letting you down or messing up in front of pretty girls. Both of which result in a massive amount of fear which will make him freeze up and, as you've already found out, making him even more shy and less confident - I've been there so I know.

Providing you've had a conversation and have some kind of plan, who's going to lead etc, you need to make it clear that:
-she may look hot as ***k but she is just a girl who has insecurities like anyone else. She usually makes herself look extra hot with good hair do's, make-up and sexy cloths as that's her shop window to attract guys. All those looks aren't really what or who she is inside - she probably feels as insecure as he does so he shouldn't go putting her on a pedestal - etc
-he needs to partake in the conversation, banter, humor, whatever. Saying something is usually better than not saying anything, it doesn't necessarily need to be completely true, it could be truth with a bit of humor/wit/embellishment/etc - avoid lies, but it needs to be fun and contribute to the conversation

So yeah, my advice would be a sort of little prep session - do it over a drink in a bar and he'll be far more receptive than in a work place/office.

 

[JT Sunshine]

@Chase thank you for the rock solid advice. I can picture this type of approach working very well. You’re right, I think his biggest hurdle would be the open and the “what to say after” part. I know he has lots of cool stories to tell, and if I can tee it up correctly and build him up in conversation to the girls I bet I could get him talking.

Never even thought about helping physically escalate the two of them… that is pure gold. Doing it one little step at a time like that should feel pretty seamless too. I will 100% try that and report back.

@Derek da man he knows I go out to meet and pick up girls, but probably doesn’t know I’ve studied it quite extensively and am utilizing the things I’ve learned to help increase the chances of success. I know he’ll be excited about it, and I think going through a little prep/coaching session over a beer is a great idea.


The game plan as I see it is, get a drink and run through the basics with him first night there. Talk through my process, mindset, etc. Let him know that I will take the lead every time when it comes to approaching/getting the interaction started, and all he needs to do is try and vibe with the girls once I get things going. He has had girlfriends before, but always met through work or social circle. If I can make these interactions feel like we are a mini social-circle I actually think he’ll do just fine. I will talk him up (travels a ton and is a very talented musician), and hope he can run with some topics I introduce.

Hopefully in three days I can get some good momentum going, and build his confidence up. If things go well, I’ll be the one to suggest the bounce from the venue. Funny enough, our hotel rooms are next to each other and connected with a door. Thinking logistically, we all go back to *his* room, then after 20 minutes or so I find an excuse to bring my girl over to mine, leaving the two of them alone together.

 

[Derek da man]

Funny enough, our hotel rooms are next to each other and connected with a door. Thinking logistically, we all go back to *his* room, then after 20 minutes or so I find an excuse to bring my girl over to mine, leaving the two of them alone together.

Sounds almost perfect on the logistics front. Let us know how it goes . . . . . maybe even write a lay report.

 

[JT Sunshine]

Sounds almost perfect on the logistics front. Let us know how it goes . . . . . maybe even write a lay report.

Will do! That is the goal, and handling the logistics seems to be half the battle

 

[TwoNameGame]

My question - does anyone have any experience going out with a super newbie wing?

No, but I have experience training people in a variety of skills, interpersonal or technical.

Here is my advice:

1. Probe for knowledge with a few broad, softball questions.
2. Once you know how to approach, discuss the theory and purpose of a concept until you are both on the same page. Ask open ended questions to ensure you are on the same page.
3. Give basic directions.
4. Ask them to practice a bit. (If something is risky or they are lost, skip to step 4).
5. Explain basic technical stuff so they know what to implement or fix.
6. Practice
7. Correct again. Go into intermediate detail with technical stuff.
8. If they succeed at something, ask them to explain it to you and walk you through it. Ask questions to ensure you are on the same page.
9. Come back to this concept at an advanced level a few days later to reinforce or course correct.