Gay Bestfriend Zone

[Mr Mistah]

I have been working on my vibe/presence and I seem to have run into this weird problem where I don't fully have the lover vibe nor do I have the nice guy/friend zone vibe

I'm stuck in what feels like gay best friend zone

Context:

I am a great listener and project warmth something that I really struggled with initially as I am naturally aloof/grounded. Not anymore tho.

Yesterday I had a conversation with one girl and she pointed out how girls always seem comfortable being around me. Another one told me that I feel like a "safe space" for her

Second is that I am very touchy with these girls and I often make many inappropriate jokes while doing so. So much that they are used to it now and often times they initiate touch themselves like having their hands around me while we're walking or giving me tight hugs whenever we cross paths, draping themeselves on me when we're sitted, massaging my neck, back etc The touch is not necessarily sexual in nature but touch nonetheless

I also talk about sex a lot and make many sex jokes. I've discussed fingering techniques with them, dominance, one even shared a porn link with me after we had a discussion about how aftercare is important after dominant sex. This was me trying out sexual prizing + sex talk

Anothet got comfortable enough with me to expose shit sex experiences she had with former boyfriends. Basically, girls are really open with me about their sexuality and sexual histories

But the problem is that I don't feel like I come across as a sexual threat per se

I am intentionally a bit an asshole to these girls so that I don't comr across as too "nice" and accommodating. I regularly bust their balls and use insults whenever I can I.e You're such a fucking idiot/What a dumbass/ What a retard etc

Despite that I still feel like I come across as this easy to talk to, safe, dirty minded, non judgemental confidant. Basically, a gay best friend

And I want to know what I need to do to fix this.

Ive already identified some gaps that need fixing.

For example, I am used to bringing the heat but when a girl flirts back I sometimes get tongue tied/start blushing.

My repartee/wit is not as sharp as so sometimes I get flustered when the more forward/ loud girls flirt with me which is obviously not very lover-esque of me

I have been called "shy" for this I.e a girl makes a suggestive comment and I fumble for a response or change the subject from not knowing how to respond in a witty way

I've also been told that my style of hitting on women is very under the radar. This girl in particular said that I am less forward than other annoying guys who explicitly ask for sex. I asked her if that's a good thing or a bad thing and she says she likes it

But some weeks later the same girl told me jokingly that she's learnt not to take me seriously because I'm always throwing hints and then saying I'm joking (I haver never done such a thing. If I make a risqué comment I always stand on it and never backtrack so idk where she got that from)

But I'm getting the sense that I missed am escalation window somewhere there which made her say this

This is a girl who I ran a whole sexual gambit on to the point she texted me that "Now all I can think about is you dominating me"

So I guess the point of this thread is me asking how can I be more of a sexual threat.

I spend a lot of time around girls who usually group together to talk about things like how disgusted she was by guy X who drunk called her and asked her if she can come over.

To me that is being too aggressive/uncalibrated.

A guy friend described my game as "considerate" ie When you see me in set you can tell that I am actually trying to get to know the girl which makes girls get comfortable with me.

Then went on to explain that when he looks at other guys running game they just look like they're just out to smash

But at the same time I do all these things like touch, sex talk, non judgemntalism, deep diving only to come off as a gay best friend rather than lover

What gives?

 

[topcat]

you’re not far from where you need to be..
you just need to ask for more compliance, lead the interaction with intention, and close.

gay best friend, and secret society stud are cousins. one just lacks “teeth”.

get some teeth..

 

[gameboy]

To me it sounds like an excellent place to be in. Just meet all their female friends and bang them

Do you ever isolate any of these girls and physically escalate on them?

 

[Skills]

I have been working on my vibe/presence and I seem to have run into this weird problem where I don't fully have the lover vibe nor do I have the nice guy/friend zone vibe

I'm stuck in what feels like gay best friend zone

Context:

I am a great listener and project warmth something that I really struggled with initially as I am naturally aloof/grounded. Not anymore tho.

Yesterday I had a conversation with one girl and she pointed out how girls always seem comfortable being around me. Another one told me that I feel like a "safe space" for her

Second is that I am very touchy with these girls and I often make many inappropriate jokes while doing so. So much that they are used to it now and often times they initiate touch themselves like having their hands around me while we're walking or giving me tight hugs whenever we cross paths, draping themeselves on me when we're sitted, massaging my neck, back etc The touch is not necessarily sexual in nature but touch nonetheless

I also talk about sex a lot and make many sex jokes. I've discussed fingering techniques with them, dominance, one even shared a porn link with me after we had a discussion about how aftercare is important after dominant sex. This was me trying out sexual prizing + sex talk

Anothet got comfortable enough with me to expose shit sex experiences she had with former boyfriends. Basically, girls are really open with me about their sexuality and sexual histories

But the problem is that I don't feel like I come across as a sexual threat per se

I am intentionally a bit an asshole to these girls so that I don't comr across as too "nice" and accommodating. I regularly bust their balls and use insults whenever I can I.e You're such a fucking idiot/What a dumbass/ What a retard etc

Despite that I still feel like I come across as this easy to talk to, safe, dirty minded, non judgemental confidant. Basically, a gay best friend

And I want to know what I need to do to fix this.

Ive already identified some gaps that need fixing.

For example, I am used to bringing the heat but when a girl flirts back I sometimes get tongue tied/start blushing.

My repartee/wit is not as sharp as so sometimes I get flustered when the more forward/ loud girls flirt with me which is obviously not very lover-esque of me

I have been called "shy" for this I.e a girl makes a suggestive comment and I fumble for a response or change the subject from not knowing how to respond in a witty way

I've also been told that my style of hitting on women is very under the radar. This girl in particular said that I am less forward than other annoying guys who explicitly ask for sex. I asked her if that's a good thing or a bad thing and she says she likes it

But some weeks later the same girl told me jokingly that she's learnt not to take me seriously because I'm always throwing hints and then saying I'm joking (I haver never done such a thing. If I make a risqué comment I always stand on it and never backtrack so idk where she got that from)

But I'm getting the sense that I missed am escalation window somewhere there which made her say this

This is a girl who I ran a whole sexual gambit on to the point she texted me that "Now all I can think about is you dominating me"

So I guess the point of this thread is me asking how can I be more of a sexual threat.

I spend a lot of time around girls who usually group together to talk about things like how disgusted she was by guy X who drunk called her and asked her if she can come over.

To me that is being too aggressive/uncalibrated.

A guy friend described my game as "considerate" ie When you see me in set you can tell that I am actually trying to get to know the girl which makes girls get comfortable with me.

Then went on to explain that when he looks at other guys running game they just look like they're just out to smash

But at the same time I do all these things like touch, sex talk, non judgemntalism, deep diving only to come off as a gay best friend rather than lover

What gives?

You described how I act with women i don't want to fuck, social circles and work... they know is a bluff and is not real and you are not going to go for the close, you won't take it to dick in pussy territory...

I would work on my killer instinct.... google good looking loser killer instinct post ..

 

[Teparus]

you’re not far from where you need to be..
you just need to ask for more compliance, lead the interaction with intention, and close.

gay best friend, and secret society stud are cousins. one just lacks “teeth”.

get some teeth..

This was pretty close to my first thought as well. Compliance, leading, isolation, etc -- the fundamentals of seduction. I'll add that the OP feels like Mr Mistah needs to be moving a lot faster, in particular, on compliance and escalation. If this is an ongoing relationship that you're attempting to slow burn up to sex, well, you have to accept a generally lower success rate and a much bumpier road along the way. It's generally better to find another girl, get her hooked, run your process, and use the new data point to refine things. Although friends can be great practice, it's important not to let yourself be side tracked by a girl who just wants occasional feelings without any action from you.