Getting a date through text

[TitanLXVII]

Hey there,

I'm having trouble getting girls to go out dates after the initial interaction, they all seem to suddenly have a boyfriend when talking the next day, but lets get some details for feed back.
A couple days ago I was trying to meet with a teacher who was late to his office. I sat down next to a pretty girl waiting for class near by, I started a casual conversion I'd have with any of my friends about the teacher being late and asking about her major and what not. Near the end of the conversion when she seemed to be at her peek of interest, I got her number then concluding the conversion since I had seen the teacher arrive.

Later that night when I texted her just saying to save my number like in Ricardus's What to Text Girls to Get Dates (https://www.girlschase.com/content/what- ... -get-dates) she responded first with who are you, then after giving her a reminder saying how we met she said she was watching TV with her boyfriend. Whether or not this boyfriend exists, I have no clue but I'm wondering where I can clean up my game and make the boyfriend disappear for the next one.

 

[Chase]

Howdy Titan,

That's mainly an excuse from a girl who didn't feel a connection or attraction for whatever reason. It's a "shut down" move. I'd also guess it has something to do with the texts that got sent though.

Can you post the specific text exchange you had with her so we can see what specifically you're texting?

Chase

 

[TitanLXVII]

Hi Chase,

Thank you for the feed back! and here's exactly what I texted and the responses with fake names. We had exchanged numbers so I had assumed she saved my number

Me: Hey Jane

Jane: who is this?

Me: Titan we met earlier to day, I was waiting on a teacher

Jane: sorry lol how are you?

Me: Good I'm studying for a test and chilling hbu?

Jane: just watching tv with my puppy and my boyfriend


I sent her the first text about 10 hours after we met and didn't respond after the last one not knowing what to say. I was wondering could having the conversion be to causal be a bad thing? When I approach a girl I try and make it seem like I've known her forever and stay chill without putting to much energy into it so it doesn't look like I'm working to hard, but could being more energetic be better?
I'm not saying jump up and down with excitement but generally show more interest in the girl

 

[Franco]

Hi TitanLXVII,

It sounds to me like she saw the interaction in the classroom between you two as friendly, and she might have even been confused when you asked her for her number but figured you were a nice guy, so it would do no harm to give it to you.

Did you ever attempt to compliment or flirt with her at all? You need to make your intentions known early in the conversation if you want to have more success with the texting aspect afterward. Being chill is a good thing, but you need to "be chill" with a sexual vibe that lets her know you are genuinely interested in her and not just having a conversation with a stranger.

- Franco

 

[TitanLXVII]

That makes a lot of sense, I've been trying to nail it down for while because a lot of my approaches have ended up like this one. I'm going to try that in my next approach and experiment, thank you!

 

[Chase]

Titan-

Okay, this makes a lot more sense. I'm with Franco on the initial interaction probably seeming more friendly than anything; still, kudos on meeting her and grabbing a number and following up. You've got to spend a little time in the fire of being a little too friendly before you're able to better tweak things and come across a little more sexy or firm.

On texts:

Check out this post on the blog on texting by me: How to Text a Girl

... and this one by Ricardus: What to Text Girls to Get DATES

Those two should help a lot on basic text theory.

Quick run down-

Me: Hey Jane

So, just to keep yourself out of any kind of icky situation where you're having to re-introduce yourself (which sets you firmly in a "chasing after her" dynamic), make sure you always sign your name on the first text (or if you haven't texted her in a long time). Even if she seemed to have saved you... you never know.

Also, make the first text more interesting than, "Hey X." When most people get a text like that, the first instinct that hits them is usually, "Whoa, what does THIS guy want?" Much better to make it clear from text #1, like:

• Great to make a new friend -Titan

or

• Nice meeting you outside the teacher's office, friend -Titan

Now it's playful, fun, doesn't seem to be chasing after anything from her, and signs your name (in case she forgot or wants to play games). You're also adding some intrigue into the mix by calling her "friend;" now she can't just think, "Oh, it's some guy chasing after me," instead rather she thinks, "Whoa, wait - friend? You mean he doesn't want to date me, or what does this mean? I've got to find out!"

Jane: who is this?

Me: Titan we met earlier to day, I was waiting on a teacher

Too quick to answer.

She asks => you answer

Very unengaging / unintriguing dynamic. The mystery's gone, the attraction evaporates.

Instead...

• Jane: Who's this?
  
  Titan: The mysterious man you met outside Professor Chuck's office. You know... the one you confessed to having a bologna sandwich to (rather shockingly).

Get her laughing, intrigued, and interested.

Make her wonder, and make her glad to hear from you.

Jane: sorry lol how are you?

She's being nice / taking care of your emotions.

Me: Good I'm studying for a test and chilling hbu?

Sounds... eminently boring and ordinary.

Excite her! Make her feel JOY to be talking to you... not boredom. Make her pop her eyes out and lick her lips.

• Jane: sorry lol how are you?
  
  Titan: Well, you know, after I beat back the alien invasion threatening Earth I was pretty exhausted and had to power nap for a while, but otherwise I'm good.

Jane: just watching tv with my puppy and my boyfriend

Yeah... standard, "Okay, anyway, nice to meet you," text.

Make a stronger impression when you meet her (intrigue, interest, attraction), and shore up your texting (same 3 things), and you'll do fine.

Chase

 

[Jeet02]

Hey Titan,

I definitely agree with many of the points that Chase made and I just wanted to add a little bit to it.

Something I recently learned, is that contrary to what we want to believe, girls aren't waiting for us to text them (unless of course, they are supper dupper interested in us already). They probably have a million things going on in their lives, including other guys texting her. With that said, YOU have to stand out of the crowd. Like Chase said, you have to spark emotions on a girl, make her feel different, comfortable and happy. She will soon associate this feelings with you.

Always, always, start your text with something that will spark an emotion on her. Some joke or something, but something that is connected to you and her. or if you have NOTHING at all, going RANDOM as hell does help a little bit. The examples Chase gave were definitely good. What I would suggest to keep in mind though, is try not to always go funny and try to make her laugh. Cause then you just pass as the jokester and thats pretty much it. You gotta keep the funny/serious integration in there. You want to spark emotions and after that you want to do what you really are supposed to be doing when you are texting: pull the trigger and ask her out.

You can always try and call her out on the "boyfriend" thing saying something like: "How told you to text that? Your boyfriend or your puppy?" or something like that (kinda stole that from The Big Bang Theory....sue me haha).

But yes, I think the initial text was probably where you went wrong. Especially since she probably didn't have your number.

Best of Luck,
Jeet

 

[Jackyyy]

One piece of advice I always try to give guys is to keep texting strictly to meeting up with girls. No trying to build up comfort and such through text. Texting should be strictly used to set up logistics with the women you meet and like. Texting should be used as only a tool to get girls out in person.

This!

In most cases, texting is a means to an end; thus exchanges over it should be quick and concise. You shouldn't use it to as an alternative to talking. To give you an idea of how fast you should move, I would usually ask her out by the 2nd or 3rd text after finding out her schedule.

Of course it is much better if you agree on a date before getting the number. That way she knows WHY you have her number and it also means your first text is simply to ask if she is still on for the date. Can you see how much smoother that process is? It's all about Law of Least Effort!

Keep trying Titan!

 

[nd2012]

I would definitely be confused by this one too, looks like you got some good answers. Surely the girl must realize your asking for her number for a reason! I would find it odd if that happened to me, be interesting to see if she had a bf or not.