i went out on thursday (which is a friday here) first time in about a year - after i slept through NYE unintentionally i said lets go out and see if Chase was right that girls were easier after NYE AND see if i got approached. i went to a bar nearby which is a typical pickup spot where girls actually hit on guys. i didnt plan anything, just 2 drinks and a cigar and see what happens as i was too scared to take initiative. the events on the spot were all logical to me after thinking the evening over and im happy to see that a year of meeting quite a few girls from online actually worthed the time (& money) spent.
i went to the tap ordering a cocktail not looking at any girls at all - i used my peripheral vision later only (where i noticed to girls looking at me pretty much the whole 1-2h i spent there but they didnt come to say hi and i wasnt in a mental state to do so either.
in about 5-10minutes i was sipping my drink looking at the melting ice at the middle of the bar a tall blonde comes and orders a drink to her and her friend just right next to me. not really beautiful, rather the "meh, why not if she wants it" type. i had the impression this wasnt accidental for which i got confirmation another 15mins later when the people next to me left and the girl and her friend came right next to me. i ignored them partly out of fear partly because i didnt want to initiate any conversation that day. i felt though that the blonde one was looking at me from time to time, they spoke loudly and used the ashtray right in front of me. i ignored them completely apart from a question whether the cigar smoke didnt bother them for which the blonde answered smiling not at all expecting a conversation but i just turned back to the drink - loser.
another girl came after another 15mins or so ordering drinks for her and for her friend, she was literally rubbing herself close to me with her whole body which was blatantly obvious i think - the blonde even let her some space while she was ordering. didnt even look at her partly because of being a loser partly because i wanted to speak to the blone if anyone later.
when i was about the last 3rd of my cigar i somehow got into a conversation with the blonde as i really started to feel bad for her coming to me and me not doing anything. after an opener i dont remember i introduced myself and wished each other happy new year & had a toast. we spoke briefly as i felt the escalation window was long closed - after a few questions which she answered smiling and asked a few ones herself too when i wanted to go deeper she just turned to her friend and started speaking. i spoke to her over the shoulder all the time so i just turned back to the drink. when i finished the cigar i told her "xxx im leaving to yyy" she replied smiling "okay enjoy" me: "enjoy your stay in the city, bye"
things i was wondering about:
- i was approached before too a few times but this time it felt way more blatant than before, probably because i exactly knew i got hit on (the article helped in this a lot) - and i have to admit now i cannot hide behind "im not goodlooking" as otherwise girls wouldnt bother - its my game and my personality that needs major overhaul
- i didnt really understand why she turned back suddenly to her friend talking but then i read in an article that it was a guerilla tactic, should have kept on talking anyway. what i was thinking too that congruency is a major issue for me - girls usually expect some blunt, raw man based on my appearence but im fairly friendly by nature to those who speak to me - when i get approached they usually leave fast, i can think of this as the reason: they expect somebody completely different than me - or they expect things go faster and more to the point towards getting laid
- leaving out a year going out & approaching makes you reset completely even if you are with girls anyway, you should restart the whole stuff from the beginning. despite everything i really felt scared all the time except while talking to the girl as that was familiar.
what i do next week is to do the same again but i capitalize on the attention and approach myself too.
i went to the tap ordering a cocktail not looking at any girls at all - i used my peripheral vision later only (where i noticed to girls looking at me pretty much the whole 1-2h i spent there but they didnt come to say hi and i wasnt in a mental state to do so either.
in about 5-10minutes i was sipping my drink looking at the melting ice at the middle of the bar a tall blonde comes and orders a drink to her and her friend just right next to me. not really beautiful, rather the "meh, why not if she wants it" type. i had the impression this wasnt accidental for which i got confirmation another 15mins later when the people next to me left and the girl and her friend came right next to me. i ignored them partly out of fear partly because i didnt want to initiate any conversation that day. i felt though that the blonde one was looking at me from time to time, they spoke loudly and used the ashtray right in front of me. i ignored them completely apart from a question whether the cigar smoke didnt bother them for which the blonde answered smiling not at all expecting a conversation but i just turned back to the drink - loser.
another girl came after another 15mins or so ordering drinks for her and for her friend, she was literally rubbing herself close to me with her whole body which was blatantly obvious i think - the blonde even let her some space while she was ordering. didnt even look at her partly because of being a loser partly because i wanted to speak to the blone if anyone later.
when i was about the last 3rd of my cigar i somehow got into a conversation with the blonde as i really started to feel bad for her coming to me and me not doing anything. after an opener i dont remember i introduced myself and wished each other happy new year & had a toast. we spoke briefly as i felt the escalation window was long closed - after a few questions which she answered smiling and asked a few ones herself too when i wanted to go deeper she just turned to her friend and started speaking. i spoke to her over the shoulder all the time so i just turned back to the drink. when i finished the cigar i told her "xxx im leaving to yyy" she replied smiling "okay enjoy" me: "enjoy your stay in the city, bye"
things i was wondering about:
- i was approached before too a few times but this time it felt way more blatant than before, probably because i exactly knew i got hit on (the article helped in this a lot) - and i have to admit now i cannot hide behind "im not goodlooking" as otherwise girls wouldnt bother - its my game and my personality that needs major overhaul
- i didnt really understand why she turned back suddenly to her friend talking but then i read in an article that it was a guerilla tactic, should have kept on talking anyway. what i was thinking too that congruency is a major issue for me - girls usually expect some blunt, raw man based on my appearence but im fairly friendly by nature to those who speak to me - when i get approached they usually leave fast, i can think of this as the reason: they expect somebody completely different than me - or they expect things go faster and more to the point towards getting laid
- leaving out a year going out & approaching makes you reset completely even if you are with girls anyway, you should restart the whole stuff from the beginning. despite everything i really felt scared all the time except while talking to the girl as that was familiar.
what i do next week is to do the same again but i capitalize on the attention and approach myself too.
