- Joined
- Mar 25, 2024
- Messages
- 186
Hi everyone.
It's been about ten years since I did cold approach in my early 20s, and I am very nervous/excited to get back into it, and hopefully achieve my full potential in this area of life. For some context, I found "the community" around 2009, did a lot of social circle stuff until I was old enough to get into the bars/clubs, and then spent about a year going out constantly. Got into a LTR that lasted about a decade (with a couple other LTRs that overlapped and lasted a few years), and so I lost the need/motivation to go out to meet new women. Fast forward to now - I'm 33, with my dream job, but at square zero with women, and rusty beyond belief.
I went downtown by myself Saturday night to scout out the scene. All my friends are in their 30s with LTRs/kids and would have no interest going to clubs anyway, so I'll be flying solo for now - and that's fine. I found three really good venues that had a decent amount of women, mostly in their early 20s. One of them was actually my favorite spot back in the day, and I can't believe it's still there (every other club I remember is long gone). I felt so much social anxiety being there by myself, it almost caused me to freeze up. I did manage to work up the courage to talk (briefly) to a few girls who were in close proximity of me, just small talk and the conversation didn't last long or go anywhere, but it was a win for me... at least for now.
I decided I better brush up on some theory, and found this place. Reminds me of the old forums, I like it. I am going to make it my goal to at least master the art of approaching + starting a real conversation and maybe make some friends in the scene over the next couple of months, so that when the temperature warms up and things get back to crazy around here (I live way up north), I can play to win. My biggest sticking points at the moment are just lack of recent experience with ANY of this, as well as my awareness that the longer I'm out at the club alone and not in a set, it makes me feel as though my perceived value is being lowered, which makes me more anxious to talk to strangers. Shit I will work on. Also, when I was doing this in my 20s I drank A LOT, and looking back I was definitely using it as a crutch to overcome the anxiety. I don't drink hardly at all anymore, so I will have nothing to aid me but my own skills. I probably missed out on a lot of good shit when I was drunk, and I am not going to repeat that mistake.
I am curious how the night game dynamic has changed in the last ten years. Is it harder? Easier? And if my age will be more of a benefit or just come with more shit tests, haha. Also, I've never done a minute of day game in my life (for the sole purpose of gaming), but plan to change that this summer too. Anyways, enough of my rambling. Happy to have found this place and looking forward to one day being able to contribute some value to this group, or at least share some fun stories.
Cheers,
JT
It's been about ten years since I did cold approach in my early 20s, and I am very nervous/excited to get back into it, and hopefully achieve my full potential in this area of life. For some context, I found "the community" around 2009, did a lot of social circle stuff until I was old enough to get into the bars/clubs, and then spent about a year going out constantly. Got into a LTR that lasted about a decade (with a couple other LTRs that overlapped and lasted a few years), and so I lost the need/motivation to go out to meet new women. Fast forward to now - I'm 33, with my dream job, but at square zero with women, and rusty beyond belief.
I went downtown by myself Saturday night to scout out the scene. All my friends are in their 30s with LTRs/kids and would have no interest going to clubs anyway, so I'll be flying solo for now - and that's fine. I found three really good venues that had a decent amount of women, mostly in their early 20s. One of them was actually my favorite spot back in the day, and I can't believe it's still there (every other club I remember is long gone). I felt so much social anxiety being there by myself, it almost caused me to freeze up. I did manage to work up the courage to talk (briefly) to a few girls who were in close proximity of me, just small talk and the conversation didn't last long or go anywhere, but it was a win for me... at least for now.
I decided I better brush up on some theory, and found this place. Reminds me of the old forums, I like it. I am going to make it my goal to at least master the art of approaching + starting a real conversation and maybe make some friends in the scene over the next couple of months, so that when the temperature warms up and things get back to crazy around here (I live way up north), I can play to win. My biggest sticking points at the moment are just lack of recent experience with ANY of this, as well as my awareness that the longer I'm out at the club alone and not in a set, it makes me feel as though my perceived value is being lowered, which makes me more anxious to talk to strangers. Shit I will work on. Also, when I was doing this in my 20s I drank A LOT, and looking back I was definitely using it as a crutch to overcome the anxiety. I don't drink hardly at all anymore, so I will have nothing to aid me but my own skills. I probably missed out on a lot of good shit when I was drunk, and I am not going to repeat that mistake.
I am curious how the night game dynamic has changed in the last ten years. Is it harder? Easier? And if my age will be more of a benefit or just come with more shit tests, haha. Also, I've never done a minute of day game in my life (for the sole purpose of gaming), but plan to change that this summer too. Anyways, enough of my rambling. Happy to have found this place and looking forward to one day being able to contribute some value to this group, or at least share some fun stories.
Cheers,
JT
