Getting excited changing state and sexual chemistry

[aquapura001]

CONTEXT
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I met a girl for a date last night from online dating. She was attractive but not crazy, maybe a 7. I have been horny AF though, only recently coming out of a lockdown, so i wanted to fuck.

So i sit down at this bar and i'm playing it cool. But from the start I felt like maybe she wasn't that into it. I didn't get any crazy sexual chemistry i'm just being polite to start playing it cool with some fluff. Then i'm thinking 'ok man this is boring' I need to amp this shit up. So i start running her through some states and i try and get more excited in the process i run some emotional gambits, and then sexual stories. She love the sexual stories and lights up a little.

SUMMARY
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(1) I start running her through some states - Firstly some emotional ones, then sexual.
(2) She starts lighting up at the sexual ones a bit.
(3) She finishes her drink and i was going to call it quits because i still wasn't feeling it. But then she says 'hey I want to get another drink and some food. Do you want anything?'
(4) I reassess and now i think "ok maybe i have a chance here." So i'm like fuck it i'll go along.
(5) We sit back down and i close the proximity but still not touching enough. I start friendly touching and at one point i mention her nails and hold her hand.
(6) She didn't feel that comfortable with me holding her hand and has very closed off body language.
(7) Conversation goes back to boring shit again, so i switch it up and do some personality gambit on her.
(8) We finish and i'm trying a bit too hard to get sexual state
(9) Mentions she has to leave.
(10) Walk her back to car where the ending is kinda awkward. I didn't go for anything and played it cool. She's like "ok well, um see you around I guess" OUCH.

On reassessment i don't think she was ever entirely into it or that comfortable and any states i was trying to run her through washed off quickly. I did really have trouble getting into the states myself and I feel this was part of the problem. I just felt a very 'boring neutral vibe' and i really found it hard to change this.

QUESTIONS
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(1) Is the fact i couldn't really get sexual state because she wouldn't let me? How can i override these boring feelings and neutrality get the chemicals flowing?
(2) Should I risk touching more straight up to gauge her interest and then close the date if she rejects me?
(3) I felt like she was keeping it boring as not to get any deep and sexual with me. How can i prevent this in the future?
(4) The conversation lacked fun and humour... Can someone suggest any tactics besides stories to get shit more fun?
(5) The ending for me was quite obvious she wasn't into it. Should I have made sure this was the case? Could I have done more at this point?
(6) Any other advice would be appreciated.

In closing I find that when i'm completely not into a girl to the point i'm actually embarrassed to be seen with her (yes this has happened) girls are totally into me. It's hard to fake this though with a hotter girl. I often wonder what would happen if i felt true feelings of embarrassment with a hot bish if she would also chase me like ugly girls do?

 

[mist]

Hi @aquapura001

This would be better served as a written out FR. This summary isn't bad or anything, but you'd get more bang with some more nitty gritty on what she was reacting to.

There are a lot of variables.

Nicely done on getting some momentum with this date from online game.

You might consider even showcasing your messages leading up to the date.

( slightly off topic but your post Getting back into DG was really helpful. @ElderPrice reply to you really made me internalize warmup sets and momentum infield. Cheers!)

Peace

 

[think]

(5) We sit back down and i close the proximity but still not touching enough. I start friendly touching and at one point i mention her nails and hold her hand.

if this is #5 then you are moving very slowly. it should be #1 or #2. I like to handshake, but then not let go. you would think that would be awkward, but you relax your hand completely after the handshake. basically, she's resting her hand on your palm and you have an open hand. you are holding on to nothing, she can let go at any time this way, it feels to her as though she is reciprocating by choice as she rests her hand on top of yours. you relax your hand and arms even more, you are holding hands close to your stomach as your arms drape, this lets you have an excuse to physically close the distance between you two. you then just casually chat while you hold hands. you have options from here. you can flatten your hand and draw attention to it, you can pull your hand away and smirk then reintroducing your other hand (your left hand for her right hand) holding it in the air as if to say "here, let me show you something". she grabs it, you've been gaining compliance this entire time. instead of your right hand holding her right hand like before, creating a distance between the two of you as they cross over, you're now holding your left hand with her right, nothing separating you. you use this opportunity to get closer, you're now chest to chest, face to face, holding hands. you can use this opportunity to take her free hand, wrap it over your shoulders when the time is right.

you get what I'm going with here. these little intricacies can be used to stack compliance, gradually flow from where you are to where you want to be. you do this while complimenting with your conversation.

you're very concentrated on "state", the conversation. you want sex which is something physical, so you should escalate the physicality. the conversation and the mood you exude is there to reassure her that everything is groovy. your tone of voice, enforcing your reality that what is happening is comfortable and correct, natural, is more important than the conversation itself, and your physical escalation is even more so important.

 

[think]

one thing I forgot, which is really fun to do, is leading a girl around with the palm of your hand. if you've really got it down then you can pull her towards without moving, without grabbing. so, you've handshaked, you're so relaxed that it's basically your open palm facing upwards and her hand rests upon yours. you start to pull your hand towards your chest. there is zero resistance, she follows and brings herself closer to you, and the best part is that you had nothing but an open palm. you didn't grab and pull her, you "leaned back" with your hand and she was pulled right in.

I suppose I'm getting into more advanced tactics though here

 

[aquapura001]

Thanks @Mist22 and @think

@think do you try physically escalate quickly and gauge the response? What if you feel she isn't comfortable with your escalation? Do you keep working it and the sexual state? Or will you just end it and move on chalking it up to a loss?