I still remember this episode in my head vividly.
I was a 17 year old virgin. Still in high school, had no idea this site or any of this stuff existed. I was leaving the library (yes) one sunny afternoon.
As I'm innocently walking back to my car, minding my own business, I suddenly find myself in the path of a stunningly beautiful female.
In that moment, I was transfixed by her angelic presence. Still, being the good socially conditioned citizen that I was, I knew not to stare. As she got closer, we locked eyes -- she glanced away bashfully, but still looked at me out of the corner of her eyes. I couldn't believe it. I decided to introduce myself. I extended my hand -- And promptly tripped over a speed bump, awkwardly skipping past her and nearly falling over.
She giggled and kept walking. This sounds like a cheesy scene from a rom-com, but it's 100% true. It was one of the first memories I have of embarrassing myself in front of an attractive female (many more episodes would come lol).
Fast forward a decade-and-change and everything is different. Almost -- I still find myself getting fumbled up by this phenomenon rather frequently, especially with exceptionally attractive women. For example, the other night, I approached a stunning female sitting with two mediocre friends at nighttime lounge. She responded warmly, invited me to sit -- we locked eyes, I made a connection, and soon she eagerly asked for my number. I thanked her friends, excused myself, and walked away -- only to realize I had left my phone on the table. Of course I had to awkwardly walk back and retrieve it. Of course she laughed and I tried to play it off -- but I'm sure that ruined my appeal enough to knock me out of the running from all the other guys who were talking to her that night.
Now, you might say, well, just don't get so dialed in during your interactions -- but the flip side is that, many times, it feels like a super power. For example, I've had many women tell me that they were taken in by my eye contact and non-verbals. One beautiful women once told me after sex, when were discussing how she had approached me a few hours earlier, that I was the only man who had ever been able to maintain eye contact with her (she was a rare alpha breed that liked to approach [and usually humiliate] guys).
I feel like the strength of my non-verbals comes from the fact that I can easily get "in the zone" with women and draw them into that same frame. But it causes problems when I lose awareness and make mistakes -- or can't get out of my own tunnel effectively and fail to close or eject.
What should I do?
MB
I was a 17 year old virgin. Still in high school, had no idea this site or any of this stuff existed. I was leaving the library (yes) one sunny afternoon.
As I'm innocently walking back to my car, minding my own business, I suddenly find myself in the path of a stunningly beautiful female.
In that moment, I was transfixed by her angelic presence. Still, being the good socially conditioned citizen that I was, I knew not to stare. As she got closer, we locked eyes -- she glanced away bashfully, but still looked at me out of the corner of her eyes. I couldn't believe it. I decided to introduce myself. I extended my hand -- And promptly tripped over a speed bump, awkwardly skipping past her and nearly falling over.
She giggled and kept walking. This sounds like a cheesy scene from a rom-com, but it's 100% true. It was one of the first memories I have of embarrassing myself in front of an attractive female (many more episodes would come lol).
Fast forward a decade-and-change and everything is different. Almost -- I still find myself getting fumbled up by this phenomenon rather frequently, especially with exceptionally attractive women. For example, the other night, I approached a stunning female sitting with two mediocre friends at nighttime lounge. She responded warmly, invited me to sit -- we locked eyes, I made a connection, and soon she eagerly asked for my number. I thanked her friends, excused myself, and walked away -- only to realize I had left my phone on the table. Of course I had to awkwardly walk back and retrieve it. Of course she laughed and I tried to play it off -- but I'm sure that ruined my appeal enough to knock me out of the running from all the other guys who were talking to her that night.
Now, you might say, well, just don't get so dialed in during your interactions -- but the flip side is that, many times, it feels like a super power. For example, I've had many women tell me that they were taken in by my eye contact and non-verbals. One beautiful women once told me after sex, when were discussing how she had approached me a few hours earlier, that I was the only man who had ever been able to maintain eye contact with her (she was a rare alpha breed that liked to approach [and usually humiliate] guys).
I feel like the strength of my non-verbals comes from the fact that I can easily get "in the zone" with women and draw them into that same frame. But it causes problems when I lose awareness and make mistakes -- or can't get out of my own tunnel effectively and fail to close or eject.
What should I do?
MB
