Getting over the feeling of failure before even going to dates

[onmywway14]

Hey, everyone.

I have just started to take pickup seriously, and trying to talk to a number of girls in order to land dates since few weeks. I have got a single date lined up through a social circle game right now.. but can't get over the feeling that I might screw up the date and lose the girl.. Personally, I think knowing in your mind that you will fuck up somewhere during the middle of interaction/pickup/dates, and losing the girl is much worse than the girls rejecting you at the very beginning..

So, my question is: When you guys started as a beginner, how did you deal with the feeling that you will definitely fuck up your upcoming pickup approaches or dates at some point, because you at present don't have enough knowledge and enough communication/seduction skills?

 

[TomInHo]

L's are for Lessons

Know that no matter how the interaction goes you will always win. Because you'll either be balls deep in the girls pussy or if you fail you will learn what not to do

So don't be afraid to get some L's now so that you can get tons of W's later

 

[HoofHearted]

Hi,

You're going to make mistakes. It's okay.

Part of the problem is, when you're less experienced, you tend to view it as a videogame. Like it's something to conquer, or that it ends.

But it's an eternal journey. That's its gift, in fact.

On the journey, we have the experience to know you're probably in a perilous situation. Any time you're banking on just one girl, you're in a down position. It could happen, but for most people, in most situations, it will not. That's the reality of doing business-- frequent nonstarts/losses that we mitigate as much as possible, and then large payoffs that exponentially outweigh any small losses we took.

I am convinced that 'being good' is just having the skills to bend the numbers slightly in your favor, and letting volume rush over that and serve a larger effect. Key is still volume though.

You deal with this by realizing/feeling that you don't need 1 date, you need many, to achieve the outcome you're looking for. In this is a notion of detachment; not overly fixated on a single girl, but determined to succeed amongst a range of girls that you like, and it doesn't necessarily matter which individual girl at all.

Let the option present itself from whatever field you can muster, and then use what you've learned to do well.

Gather experience so you can learn to do well when the option presents itself.

If done correctly-- the only real way to lose is to quit playing.