girl auto rejected after date(?)

[throw]

will try to keep it short:
dating this girl for cca month, she slept over whole weekend once
after dinner date she come to my place, we had sex, then she said she had to go home (some medicne, not sure but ok)
she was getting dressed, we had sex again and then she left. Kiss for goodbye on my bad(before, I walked her down the doors)

When i next time texted her to go out with me she sent:
Hi. I don't think we should see each other anymore. I didn't like the way you acted late last night. It's important to me that my man makes sure I get home safely. Not to mention walking me to the door and saying goodbye."


how to continue please?(btw i already did exchange msgs with her and messed up)

 

[Police dog]

This shit happens more often than you think. Not sure how to save this particular case, but I have these steps that I use although I don’t fuck around that much lol:
0. Obviously select the right girls with the right vibe in your interaction, pretty self explanatory.
1. Receive feedback during and after sex, don’t make it too obvious like asking her every minute whether you are doing everything right but you still want to get some, usually girls are very shy to tell you that you are doing smth they don’t really enjoy, so you need to ask her yourself.
2. Even though her orgasms are her responsibility you should still strive for her cumming before you do.
3. After first sex make some break in your interaction, don’t bring up sex at all, go on a normal date.
4. Give her proper care before and after sex, so she doesn’t feel used - cook smth together, watch a movie, go buy groceries (very nice if you live in Europe and have those small silly stores around your apartment complex). In my experience it’s only possible if you like her as a person, and if you don’t then just don’t fuck her lol, nothing good will cum out of it (pun is very much intended).
5. Don’t be perceived as someone who tries hard to get her in bed. They can sense that easily.

 

[throw]

hey man thanks, I agree.
I wrote it probably too short, but she already slept with me multiple times PLUS spend over weekend and this incident happened week after.
I believe buyers buyer's remorse? How to dig out if it ?

 

[TomInHo]

Bro, your relationship is all over the place

I'm guessing this is the same girl from your last report and I'm going to be honest.. you can probably do better

I say this because I noticed that she said she has BPD, and those girls can be a handful. They can drain the life out of you and I don't think it's wise to emotionally invest in these types of women.... FB yes but an emotional relationship is hell no

But to give some clarity on the current situation

will try to keep it short:
dating this girl for cca month, she slept over whole weekend once
after dinner date she come to my place, we had sex, then she said she had to go home (some medicne, not sure but ok)
she was getting dressed, we had sex again and then she left. Kiss for goodbye on my bad(before, I walked her down the doors)

When i next time texted her to go out with me she sent:
Hi. I don't think we should see each other anymore. I didn't like the way you acted late last night. It's important to me that my man makes sure I get home safely. Not to mention walking me to the door and saying goodbye."


how to continue please?(btw i already did exchange msgs with her and messed up)

If your story is accurate the reason she is doing this is to get you to chase and commit.... She feels like the relationship is not progressing according to her speed so she is creating drama to force your hand

Because G that's extremely odd behavior. She requests to go home, has sex with you, kisses you goodbye then breaks up with you over text lol

That's an extreme overreaction if you ask me and I would tell her something like

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I do care and enjoy spending time with you. But if you want to stop seeing me because I didn't walk you to the door one time then I understand. I want you to be happy even if it isn't with me"

Call her on her bluff because she is clearly full of shit. And even if she does leave, believe me she will cum back

 

[throw]

Bro, your relationship is all over the place
My updates probably are. This is another girl, (not the one with
I'm guessing this is the same girl from your last report and I'm going to be honest.. you can probably do better

thank you but I believe what is all are over the place are my updates
This is girl which I mentioned in that thread, as a girl i went for a few dates while the OG of that threat (the girl with Tinder notification) is the one with BPD(maybe, and btw not in my eyes)

I say this because I noticed that she said she has BPD, and those girls can be a handful. They can drain the life out of you and I don't think it's wise to emotionally invest in these types of women.... FB yes but an emotional relationship is hell no

thank you

But to give some clarity on the current situation

If your story is accurate the reason she is doing this is to get you to chase and commit.... She feels like the relationship is not progressing according to her speed so she is creating drama to force your hand

Because G that's extremely odd behavior. She requests to go home, has sex with you, kisses you goodbye then breaks up with you over text lol

That's an extreme overreaction if you ask me and I would tell her something like

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I do care and enjoying spending time with you. But if you want to stop seeing me because I didn't walk you to the door one time then I understand. I want you to be happy even if it isn't with me"

Call her on her bluff because she is clearly full of shit. And even if she does leave, believe me she will cum back

thank you. To be honest I skipped a lot of steps which I did after her msg, can add later(some msgs which I sent her back, background of that night, more about her, but I tried to keep it short and sweet for sake of "skill" and not to make it about me too much)

So I sent her your msg proposition this morning and she replied in few hours with this (btw I did not recall doing anything rude to her, but I can see myself appear aloof for girls) :


"I wrote you that I dont see reason continue in talking. It's not a little problem for me. I appreciate myself. For me, in man are important actions.
I am girl and I am like a flower. I want to bloom with a man.
I am used to a certain attitude of men towards me and I dont want to settle for less."

Heh, what now gents? How to not chase and still show her I value her? BTW now I probably shoudl tell you that the issue started (resp. that night when it started and subsequent "break up" msg from her was cca 3 weeks ago. First I sent her some msgs, then she did not replied, so i sent flowers (I know I know..but she is Ukrainian), she replied with thank you for flowers,and later was proposing meetup (unfortunately, in date of my departure for a trip to foreign country, so I couldn't, and since then, we are here.

 

[TomInHo]

thank you but I believe what is all are over the place are my updates
This is girl which I mentioned in that thread, as a girl i went for a few dates while the OG of that threat (the girl with Tinder notification) is the one with BPD(maybe, and btw not in my eyes)

Oh okay... that makes sense

And btw, when people tell you who they are please listen. The BPD chick told you already so don't be surprised if her behavior changes later. It shouldn't be too much of a problem now because it's casual but watch out for what happens if things ever get more serious.

It's your life though so you can do whateva but tread carefully

thank you. To be honest I skipped a lot of steps which I did after her msg, can add later(some msgs which I sent her back, background of that night, more about her, but I tried to keep it short and sweet for sake of "skill" and not to make it about me too much)

We can't help you if you don't give proper context G

So I sent her your msg proposition this morning and she replied in few hours with this (btw I did not recall doing anything rude to her, but I can see myself appear aloof for girls) :


"I wrote you that I dont see reason continue in talking. It's not a little problem for me. I appreciate myself. For me, in man are important actions.
I am girl and I am like a flower. I want to bloom with a man.
I am used to a certain attitude of men towards me and I dont want to settle for less."

See what I said earlier.... she wants a relationship and more progression while you clearly don't. Just let her go

Heh, what now gents? How to not chase and still show her I value her?

Who cares really... sounds like it's her issue and your FWB time limit has expired with her

BTW now I probably shoudl tell you that the issue started (resp. that night when it started and subsequent "break up" msg from her was cca 3 weeks ago.

Of course, how did I know the issue started sooner

First I sent her some msgs, then she did not replied, so i sent flowers

That was dumb. She is giving you negative compliance and then you reward her with chasing. Why on earth are you sending flowers to a girl that is acting poorly?

That is actually telling her... hey you can treat me bad and then I will treat you better. Can you see how that sets a horrible precedent for an ongoing relationship?

Next time you send an FWB a few messages and they don't respond, do.... nothing. Assume they want to break up and move on silently

If you do this they will actually circle back to you a lot of the time because you didn't chase and destroy your value. Because at some point they will get over whatever it was that was making them mad, and since you guys didn't officially "break up" they tend to get curios, start missing you and then ping to catch up lol

(I know I know..but she is Ukrainian)

Who cares if she's Ukrainian... you still don't reward bad behavior regardless of the girls nationality or culture. You're the leader here so you need to set boundaries accordingly

she replied with thank you for flowers, and later was proposing meetup (unfortunately, in date of my departure for a trip to foreign country, so I couldn't, and since then, we are here.

Yeah man you made a few mistakes with this girl. You rewarded when you should have punished, chased when you should have pulled back. Also you handled the break up text way too late

If I read correctly, she sent you a breakup text 3 weeks ago then you sent the message I recommend just now?

If that is true that is just horrible G... Because does that seem like the actions of a guy that actually cares about the girl at all? Or some dude that is using a gimmick to get more ass?

Her initial objection was that she didn't feel special in your eyes then you kind of reinforce her assumptions with your actions.

In this scenario the best move is honestly just tell her "okay" and go radio silent. If she ever reaches out again, set something up and pretend like your slip up never happened and then progress things according to her good behavior

Also go get more girls and use this situation as an opportunity to improve your relationship management for future lovers

 

[throw]

We can't help you if you don't give proper context G

yeah you right. I have tendency to over explain and make from thread mess, there were some threads without reply, so I was under assumption I wrote too long threads

See what I said earlier.... she wants a relationship and more progression while you clearly don't. Just let her go

Who cares really... sounds like it's her issue and your FWB time limit has expired with her

I would like to have her as a gf. All girls I take for more than one date I consider as a GF. But I can make impression of aloofness, I admit(in person).

Of course, how did I know the issue started sooner

That was dumb. She is giving you negative compliance and then you reward her with chasing. Why on earth are you sending flowers to a girl that is acting poorly?

probably just rhetorical question but I will propose you my thoughts behind it(first time ever buying flowers)
Her "breakup msg" I understood as me, not giving her comfort and being not available. I texted her msg where I tried to be:

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Turn Around a Girl in Auto-Rejection

A girl who’s in auto-rejection gets cold and snubs you. To turn it around and effect a recovery, you must use this 4-step formula. This is a firefighting post. I say that because if you do things right you won’t have to fix anything. But we all make mistakes. On my article about screening girls...

www.girlschase.com

1. Pace her reality (“Hey, I realize you took that comment pretty hard”)
2. Clear up your intentions (“That wasn’t how I meant it”)
3. Pay her a genuine compliment (“You’re a fun girl and I like hanging out with you”)
4. Offer her an olive branch (“Friends?” or an invite like “C’mon, I’ll buy you an ice cream”)

But since it was over text, I was not able to transfer my thought properly or create energy(call is almost impossible with her)
I gave her few days, no response, so I sent her flowers with msg "you are terrible woman, I love it"(little bit our joke)

That is actually telling her... hey you can treat me bad and then I will treat you better. Can you see how that sets a horrible precedent for an ongoing relationship?

yeah..I was doing something without you guys!hah

Next time you send an FWB a few messages and they don't respond, do.... nothing. Assume they want to break up and move on silently

Issue is I dont consider her just FWB. But also, she felt that I am not providing her BF values..yeah. I have BIG trouble to find balance.

If you do this they will actually circle back to you a lot of the time because you didn't chase and destroy your value. Because at some point they will get over whatever it was that was making them mad, and since you guys didn't officially "break up" they tend to get curios, start missing you and then ping to catch up lol

My reasoning was, that my value was in her eyes higher. Fuck is so hard to deal with this situation without having any "Proximity and Proof".
Just fucking numbers, no organically place to meet her.

Yeah man you made a few mistakes with this girl. You rewarded when you should have punished, chased when you should have pulled back. Also you handled the break up text way too late

If I read correctly, she sent you a breakup text 3 weeks ago then you sent the message I recommend just now?

timeline:
1. she left, i felt something is wierd
2. in few days I sent her msg with proposition for another date(unfortunately, I dont have these "older" chats in app anymore), she sent me "that" break up text
3.I had super shitty day in work, her text..so late at night i have finally some time and consodilated and texted her what I posted above inspirated by "how-turn-around-girl-auto-rejection"
4.no replay from her, after 2-3 days, flowers from me
5.her reply "thank you for flowers
6. some chat, not sure about what but proposition for meeting(tried to be flirty, not funny, no apologetic..very hard, specially with her)
7.she said she will consider
8.few days ago, i had trip to another country, OF COURSE in that day she proposed meeting. I told her i would like to but i have flight in afternoon, she was insisting (very imperious, i believe she has is from some tik tok, definitely out of her character) i deflected with flirty text back(mistake, but, did not want to give her seen, since my theory was that she see me as a higher value..kinda contradictin myself, on one hand i dont want to give her seen but on another i am just flirting. But i dopnt know what to do and not be simp-y but still show her i care)
9.seen from her, after week i came back,"Hi , I am back bla bla bla, would love to see you, let me know when you are free"
her:"sorry I dont have time for YOU"
me:I admire your will. Wifey material. Hope work is going good and you are overbooked for photoshoots.(she is model ). Will be thinking about you, have a fun and chill weekend.(tried to deflect..ahahah dickhead)
her:"I admire your will. Wifey material." what do you mean?
me: [longer proposition for meeting, jazz club in city, would be nice to see you etc]
seen
10.your msg Tomi
11.her:
"I wrote you that I dont see reason continue in talking. It's not a little problem for me. I appreciate myself. For me, in man are important actions.
I am girl and I am like a flower. I want to bloom with a man.
I am used to a certain attitude of men towards me and I dont want to settle for less."
12. me..was thinking about your ok but I wrote(sorry to not listen to you but i found it cold and feel that she doesn't see me in chasing position and felt that seen till next reply from you guys, which could be next 2-3 days could be in this situation detrimental) so I sent:
me:Your attitude is correct(and hot) My intentions were pure, I believe you know that.//too gay?
her almost immediately:I know

In this scenario the best move is honestly just tell her "okay" and go radio silent. If she ever reaches out again, set something up and pretend like your slip up never happened and then progress things according to her good behavior

ah

Also go get more girls and use this situation as an opportunity to improve your relationship management for future lovers

yes sir. Btw, for reference, let's call this girl Ukraine and the girl with BPD (I dont think she has, she was trying to be sexy in some convo, but lets see) let's call MaybeBPD

 

[TomInHo]

yeah you right. I have tendency to over explain and make from thread mess, there were some threads without reply, so I was under assumption I wrote too long threads

All good

I would like to have her as a gf. All girls I take for more than one date I consider as a GF. But I can make impression of aloofness, I admit(in person).

This is just my personal opinion but take it with a grain of salt... All girls you date don't need to be your GF. In my opinion it's a little needy

Because think about when you met your best friend. Did you hangout with him once and say... Oh yeah he's gonna be my best friend and I'm going to be loyal to him no matter what... if you're normal you probably don't think that way

Instead it was probably like... hmm this dude is cool, I'm gonna keep hanging out with him, and then one day you both realized you had a dope connection and were inseperable

You probably also met other cool dudes in that timeframe but none really matched the same level of chemistry you and your bestie had and you both naturally grew closer

IMO it's the same with women. You will have a more solid GF if you pick her from abundance rather than trying to force it. So until the girl shows you she is too dope, she should remain only a possibility not a project.

Be open, but don't really care if it works out or not because you know someone else can always step up

Probably just rhetorical question but I will propose you my thoughts behind it(first time ever buying flowers)
Her "breakup msg" I understood as me, not giving her comfort and being not available. I texted her msg where I tried to be:

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Turn Around a Girl in Auto-Rejection

A girl who’s in auto-rejection gets cold and snubs you. To turn it around and effect a recovery, you must use this 4-step formula. This is a firefighting post. I say that because if you do things right you won’t have to fix anything. But we all make mistakes. On my article about screening girls...

www.girlschase.com

1. Pace her reality (“Hey, I realize you took that comment pretty hard”)
2. Clear up your intentions (“That wasn’t how I meant it”)
3. Pay her a genuine compliment (“You’re a fun girl and I like hanging out with you”)
4. Offer her an olive branch (“Friends?” or an invite like “C’mon, I’ll buy you an ice cream”)

But since it was over text, I was not able to transfer my thought properly or create energy(call is almost impossible with her)
I gave her few days, no response, so I sent her flowers with msg "you are terrible woman, I love it"(little bit our joke)

Context G

That is usually done during a courtship not a relationship. And even when you do it you have to correct the issues that forced you to use it in the first place. The technique doesn't really fix the problem but only buys you time so you can properly re-seduce her

yeah..I was doing something without you guys!hah

Issue is I dont consider her just FWB. But also, she felt that I am not providing her BF values..yeah. I have BIG trouble to find balance.

Bro until she proves otherwise she should be a FWB. Just look at how much headache she is giving you over something so small

My reasoning was, that my value was in her eyes higher. Fuck is so hard to deal with this situation without having any "Proximity and Proof".
Just fucking numbers, no organically place to meet her.

Overthinking

timeline:
1. she left, i felt something is wierd
2. in few days I sent her msg with proposition for another date(unfortunately, I dont have these "older" chats in app anymore), she sent me "that" break up text
3.I had super shitty day in work, her text..so late at night i have finally some time and consodilated and texted her what I posted above inspirated by "how-turn-around-girl-auto-rejection"
4.no replay from her, after 2-3 days, flowers from me

Deep in chase mode

5.her reply "thank you for flowers
6. some chat, not sure about what but proposition for meeting(tried to be flirty, not funny, no apologetic..very hard, specially with her)
7.she said she will consider

She will consider? What is she the president?

Can you see how the frame is flipping here and she is starting to see herself as the prize

8.few days ago, i had trip to another country, OF COURSE in that that she proposed meeting. I told her i would like to but i have flight in afternoon, she was insisting (very imperious, i believe she has is from some tik tok, definitely out of her characater) i deflected with flirty text back(mistake, but, did not want to give her seen since my theory was that she see me as a higher value)

Okay so at this point your auto-rejection correction worked but then you went back to bad habits. She already thinks you're unattainable and then you push her off and don't set a proper date to make her feel like she is getting progress

Mis-calibrated and here a simple text to let her know your still interested might look like this... "Would love to see you but have a trip to X. But when I get back I'm looking forward to putting a big smile on your face when we see each other "

You have match her enthusiasm to keep her chasing because she is deep in auto rejection zone

9.seen from her, after week i came back,"Hi , I am back bla bla bla, would love to see you, let me know when you are free"
her:"sorry I dont have time for YOU"

See what happens when you did it too late.... now you're back to square one

me:I admire your will. Wifey material. Hope work is going good and you are overbooked for photoshoots.(she is model ). Will be thinking about you, have a fun and chill weekend.(tried to deflect..ahahah dickhead)

I would not have rewarded her here, calling her wifey and kissing so much ass is just excessive

Can you see your issue? You punish when she is good then reward when she is bad. Literally conditioning her to be a headache and making yourself look low value at the same time

her:"I admire your will. Wifey material." what do you mean?
me: [longer proposition for meeting, jazz club in city, would be nice to see you etc]
seen

Of course she left you on read. You're chasing way too hard at this point

10.your msg Tomi
11.her:
"I wrote you that I dont see reason continue in talking. It's not a little problem for me. I appreciate myself. For me, in man are important actions.
I am girl and I am like a flower. I want to bloom with a man.
I am used to a certain attitude of men towards me and I dont want to settle for less."

Blah blah blah from her.... But do you catch what is going on here ironically? Here you are chasing, professing your love and admiration and she still has nerve to say that

You're literally doing everything she said she wants in a man, but yet she still sees you as "less than her" do you understand why now?

When despise men that chase

12. me..was thinking about your ok but I wrote(sorry to not listen to you but i found it cold and feel that she doesn't see me in chasing position and felt that seen till next reply from you guys, which could be next 2-3 days could be in this situation detrimental)

Of course you think its cold... you're in chasing puppy dog mode

so I sent:
me:Your attitude is correct(and hot) My intentions were pure, I believe you know that.//too gay?
her almost immediately:I know

Jesus. This is just too painful

Telling a girl that is pushing you away that her attitude is "HOT" is not the way to go about getting her to start acting right.

She just proved all the points I made above.... read em multiple times if you have to and end your pursuit of this girl immediately.

GO RADIO SILENT... no more texts until she reinitiates. And if she never comes back it still doesn't matter so move on

yes sir. Btw, for reference, let's call this girl Ukraine and the girl with BPD (I dont think she has, she was trying to be sexy in some convo, but lets see) let's call MaybeBPD

Ok

PS the way you handle this breakup is actually very normal. Most guys get like this when there woman is pulling away. And this is exactly why being chill during the breakup is so powerful

They are so used to men begging and pleading when they leave and when you do the opposite it makes you seem "different". Just be aware of your desire to chase next time and try your best to resist your urges