Girl brought friend on the date?

[Vash]

Hey there. Long time lurker, but this website has helped me so much that I had to get myself involved.

I asked this girl out on a cold approach in my college, and she seemed really into me, so I got her number and set up date with her a few days later (today). I read the article on simplifying dates, so I decided to go have dinner at the caf with her. I sat at a table and ate, and she showed up, but she brought a friend along with her. I played it cool like it was no big deal, but sometimes it kinda felt awkward at times, especially when they talk to other for a bit and I'm sorta left out. Still, I muscled through, and tried deep diving with my girl and using my fundamentals to show I'm interested, but the friend would sometimes butt in and chat me up for a bit. I think I handled myself pretty well, save a few awkward goodbyes at the end.

I know I really had no control over what to do there, since she really didn't tell me ahead of time the friend was coming. But just the friend being there made killed a lot of attraction. I guess she brought her friend with her as backup to assess me, or maybe wanted to make me another platonic guy friend. Has anybody ever experienced this? Did I mess up and end up friend-zoned without even knowing it? I'm not sure what she wants at this point and how I should proceed.

 

[Garrett]

Vash,

Man I feel you on this one, it's so annoying when the girl brings a friend... buzz kill!

I feel like there are a few possible reasons why this could happen, although I'm not an expert on this.

On one occasion, I recall texting this girl I liked back and forth a lot, she was REALLY into me, sending me hearts, I love you's etc. I didn't know what I was doing at the time, so I basically was headed straight to boyfriend land. I went to her house, met her family, then she invited a bunch of her girl friends over, and they loved me, but I was 'too much' and she went into auto-rejection. My dad told me to be as fun as possible, so I took that advice and I fell flat on my face after that day; 13 hours with a bunch of girls, doing whatever they wanted, entertaining, no lay, it was brutal. The girl I was interested in told me during the 'date', "Everyone here loves you! I'm so happy, they all approve!" So based on the fact that they all happened to show up the one day I'm seeing her is probably for assessment purposes.

There may be other reasons why the girl chose to bring her friend along. Perhaps your first impression was a bit creepy, and so she wanted her friend to come to 'extract' her from the date if she felt necessary. It's kind of an 'escape' to leave so it takes the social pressure off her if she starts feeling uncomfortable. Ex: "I'm not feeling so well, excuse us a minute?" They'll usually go to the bathroom and start talking about you, and possibly even leave if they aren't feeling you. As pessimistic as this sounds, the more girls she brings, the lower your chances, because if one isn't feeling you, the girl is going to really reconsider her feelings for you.

Another reason could be simply the fact that she feels awkward on dates and to relieve social pressure, she brought her friend along. I usually do this with my guy friends; whenever I go somewhere and the person I'm meeting up with is really quiet/non talkative, I'll bring a buddy along to take off some of the pressure, seeing as I don't like talking much, and when I do, it's usually about the other person/their interests and I get bored of hearing all about them after a while. I could be off on this one, because even if a girl feels awkward, if she really likes you then why bring her friend? I suppose she could bring them to evaluate you, but the friend is just going to interfere with her getting with you.

Honestly man, you know your situation better than we do, so take a step back, analyze your date, figure out what could have lead up to this, and learn from it. That's the beautiful thing about experience; even if you have no clue what you're doing, if you keep at it, you'll naturally get better, and you'll start picking up on what works and what doesn't as you interact with the girls you're seeing.

Hope I helped,
Garrett

 

[charming]

I asked this girl out on a cold approach in my college, and she seemed really into me, so I got her number and set up date with her a few days later (today). I read the article on simplifying dates, so I decided to go have dinner at the caf with her. I sat at a table and ate, and she showed up, but she brought a friend along with her.

Hey Vash!

A couple thoughts. It is a social fopah to make plans with someone and for them to invite someone else along without the permission of the person who set up the get together. From birth, girls spend their lives learning and mastering social skills. If they're making a fopah, there's always a reason.

Simplifying dates does not mean making the date so easy for them to accept that they still come no matter their feelings for you. We are asking them to invest from first meet to sex, continually increasing the requested investment.

You didn't give us a lot of details about the approach or specifics of your conversation.
1) Where did you approach her, had you met her/seen her before?
2) What specific signals led you to believe she was interested? (Have you read How girls show interest)
3) How close does she live to where you met, was it in her dorm hall?

Don't grow discouraged Vash! You'll be writing your own lay reports in no time. Stay the course!