Calls & Texts Girl Has BF, Told her to Call Me & Meet Up, Said She Would

[EverybodyGO]

Oh, about two months ago. This was on Facebook. She doesn't live nearby but visits my city for a few days twice a year. I'm not FB Friends with her, she's a girl from my past that I disconnected with for several years. I want to move as fast with her as possible. We have a great connection and she always replies, but I don't know if there's still attraction.

So, I did previously make the mistake of exchanging long messages with her; both her and I sent very long messages. We were connected on FB for a while, she has a boyfriend (she lives with) she doesn't seem secure with, as she ...still dates other guys. And other guys go after her mercilessly. I ended up defriending her but we continued to message 2-4 times since.

Rather out of the blue, I messaged her and told her I'd like to see her some day, and to give me a call when she's in town [XXX-XXX-XXXX]

She wrote back "It's great to hear from you! I programmed your number. It would be really cool to catch up some time soon. I hope you're doing well "

I really wanted to take things somewhere. I hate facebook, I hate messaging!....Is she not-going to call me? Because I have the impression she's either been around here or she's coming soon. I can't decide if I should chase her (be persistent) or give up. (drop her.) It's so true what is taught on the blog, going after something makes you want it more. Input would be fantastic.

 

[Chase]

Re: Girl Has BF, Told her to Call Me & Meet Up, Said She Wou

Go-

The response is nice but neutral. "I programmed your number" means I'll recognize it when you contact me - at best, it's an invitation to call her / text her for her schedule to meet up and get caught up. She clearly sees herself as the higher value person and you in pursuit. You can contact (she's probably not going to contact you), but unless you can really get it going on the phone, I wouldn't expect much.

The fact that she's far away and is in a relationship makes this one even more of a Hail Mary - give her a call if you like, but I'd focus my energies on women nearer by and available, and who are fresh to you and haven't met you and liked you in the past and gotten over you already, but instead will be meeting you and getting excited about you for the first time.

Chase

 

[EverybodyGO]

Re: Girl Has BF, Told her to Call Me & Meet Up, Said She Wou

Chase, thank you. As always, very elegant, and I've been learning why.

Rationalizing through it, it seems like a dominant reason I pursue her is simply because I've been so ineffective with her in the past. I think perhaps that the psychology involved is that if I could 'get' her, it would only be because I'm really really attractive and amazing. It seems us guys are biologically inclined to go for the challenge. ...I don't even have her number.
Another angle of what I'm talking about is that I have liked her a whole lot, and over many years she has unfortunately been the one girl that I've made so many of my mistakes with, and as a result I haven't really provided as much reward and joy and fulfillment for her as I would of had liked to.

The most profound lesson I've learned from your (and Ricardus among others here) teachings is that thinking about someone is very much an investment. Before Girls*Chase, I figured that if I'm not buying dinner, giving compliments, inviting, talking to a woman; that I simply couldn't be making any mistakes. And frankly, with the help of some online 'dating gurus' NOT-affiliated with this site, I had become something of an asshole.

So I am most following the concepts laid out in blogs "Can't Stop Thinking of Her?" "13 Steps to Get Over Your Ex," the latter seeming even more relevant even though this girl isn't my "Ex" per-se.

Once again, thank you very much. I believe the efforts contributed to this program is improving the experiences for many men out there, and at least as many women. 'Til next time.