Girl in Class

[Arnav]

There was a girl in my writing class, the first day we had some light introductory exchanges, she seemed quite neutral. we exchanged numbers as fellow batchmates. The next day I went out of my way all the way to her desk and held out my hand to greet her morning with warmth, she stared at me with a puzzled look and then paused for a bit and shook my hand. The next few days she became extremely warm and flirtateous towards me.

She would qualify herself towards me, sit next to me, she would even ditch the cab and take the subway so she could travel with me.
I was floored and enjoying the attention and seeing her crush on me. I was planning to ask her out the next week, I was just hesitatnt to ask her out in class where everbody was present, but i was waiting for the right moment.

The begining of the next week, as I was about to ask her out this time in the subway she was extremely cold and aloof towards me, i was shocked to see this complete reversal.

The next few days in class she would come right over to my desk and be extrenely rude and hostile towards me, calling me her little brother and passing rude comments and insults towards me.

I kept ignoring this, trying to maintain a calm demaneour but resebtment was building up inside me. One evening she forgot her phone in class during lunch. I checked her phone and messages and was stunned to see a guy had moved quickly and within days was fucking her, she was chasing him for commitment but he was stalling out.

The next few days I decided to ask her out to see what happens I called her and sked her out on call, she denied but she was extremely sweet and blushing this time. But she denied and excused herself out of meeting me, i tried again a few days later same response. I texted her showering her with compliments and telling her how much I liked her.

The next few days she again became extremely warm flirtateous and sweet towards me, touching me. She would even call me on phone out of the blue to ask about my day.

Now this scenario has puzzled me

1. Can someone explain the hostility and insults she hurled towards me, what is the source of this? ( i suspected autorejection but that does not seem to be the case since she had got a lower in between)

2. She could be happy with her lover, why does she have to come all the way towards my desk and just berate me all day for no reason.

3. Why did she start chasing me after i told her I liked her and showered her with compliments but she would execuse herself each time I ask her out.

 

[OldGuy]

1. Autorejection and a new lover go together sometimes.
2. A new lover and angry at you can go together.
3. She likes you chasing but knows you lose interest when she chases.

 

[Arnav]

1. Autorejection and a new lover go together sometimes.
2. A new lover and angry at you can go together.
3. She likes you chasing but knows you lose interest when she chases.

I was thinking that maybe as she got a good lover and the power had shifted on her side, she was maybe trying to use it, from a new place of romantic security. Being rude and insulting towards me was her enjoying this new found power.

But again I find it hard to understand the concept of auto rejection in this context. If I had a new lover. I would just keep the good dynamic between going for later use or I would be completely aloof to them If I lost interest.

Using all of your emotional energy and time to just berate and insult someone by going all the way to their desk, this just seems so alien to me.

 

[Bill]

I’m thinking you took to long to ask her out and she took it as a rejection, the lover got an in possibly because she was feeling rejected, she excused herself because she was still thinking she could get commitment from him, she’s showing interest now because her thing with the lover fell through.

 

[Zoro]

Girl was impressed with your bold introduction. Expected you to take the lead and bed her quickly.

Girl can see you're both interested in each other, yet you don't make a move.

Weekend comes when she was supposed to be riding your D.

Frustrated come Monday because now she's in a situation ship with some guy who DID make a move but she's not that into him and was horny thinking about you, and you're still not making a move even though she can see you're interested, so she's taking it out on you.

You finally made a move and called her out on her behavior, reminding her of the version of you that made that bold introduction.

But now you're having to damage control and she's got this new guy.

////

 

[Arnav]

Girl was impressed with your bold introduction. Expected you to take the lead and bed her quickly.

Girl can see you're both interested in each other, yet you don't make a move.

Weekend comes when she was supposed to be riding your D.

Frustrated come Monday because now she's in a situation ship with some guy who DID make a move but she's not that into him and was horny thinking about you, and you're still not making a move even though she can see you're interested, so she's taking it out on you.

You finally made a move and called her out on her behavior, reminding her of the version of you that made that bold introduction.

But now you're having to damage control and she's got this new guy.

////

Well actually when I checked her phone, they were exchanging photos, and she was gushing about how gorgeous he looked so it seems she was crushing on him too,

I understand i hesitated and took too long to ask her out and someone moved faster. But what still puzzles me is her coming all the way to my desk and just pass rude insulting comments and berate me all day, for the whole week,

It really makes me want to punch her in the face.

 

[Beck Bass]

I checked her phone and messages and was stunned to see a guy had moved quickly and within days was fucking her, she was chasing him for commitment but he was stalling out.

Yup, veeery normal thing to do, not at all sus...

but knows you lose interest when she chases.

Or that he just don't have the cajones to do it, like fuck her, but she still hangs around with some hope...

If I had a new lover. I would just keep the good dynamic between going for later use or I would be completely aloof to them If I lost interest.

You're not a woman though, am I right? BIG mistake to think women and men think the same, specially about sex and relationships.

It really makes me want to punch her in the face.

Please DON'T do that, women are phisically weaker, and you're gonna regret big time, because not only you will feel like SHIT (if you have any empathy, though checking other people's phones behind their backs is not exactly the most honorable behaviour, to begin with), but you will likely go to jail (and maybe you deserve it).

I think she's just super horny, like seriously, in general, when women express this type of shit behaviour, it's because it's really messing with their reproductive systems.

If I was in your place, I would be real and say something like "look, I really liked you/thought you were cute/whatever, I wanted to ask you out, but you started playing all cold and harsh with me. Maybe I took too long, but can we at least be friends?". And then this time, if things go well, like actually ask her out and close the deal (if she wants you to, ofc, I thought that would go without saying, but for you to say you want to punch her in the face...). Or just straight up ask her out, on some playboyish way, like "oh girl, you work sooo hard to work me up, do you reaaaally want me this bad? ". But I don't know, this sound too much like teenage drama to me, also I don't fucking know what your culture looks like, your nickname doesn't seem to be American, to me, so take my advice with a grain of salt (though yeah, please don't be violent towards women, unless is like a smack in the butt in the bedroom lol)

 

[Arnav]

Yup, veeery normal thing to do, not at all sus...


Or that he just don't have the cajones to do it, like fuck her, but she still hangs around with some hope...


You're not a woman though, am I right? BIG mistake to think women and men think the same, specially about sex and relationships.


Please DON'T do that, women are phisically weaker, and you're gonna regret big time, because not only you will feel like SHIT (if you have any empathy, though checking other people's phones behind their backs is not exactly the most honorable behaviour, to begin with), but you will likely go to jail (and maybe you deserve it).

I think she's just super horny, like seriously, in general, when women express this type of shit behaviour, it's because it's really messing with their reproductive systems.

If I was in your place, I would be real and say something like "look, I really liked you/thought you were cute/whatever, I wanted to ask you out, but you started playing all cold and harsh with me. Maybe I took too long, but can we at least be friends?". And then this time, if things go well, like actually ask her out and close the deal (if she wants you to, ofc, I thought that would go without saying, but for you to say you want to punch her in the face...). Or just straight up ask her out, on some playboyish way, like "oh girl, you work sooo hard to work me up, do you reaaaally want me this bad? ". But I don't know, this sound too much like teenage drama to me, also I don't fucking know what your culture looks like, your nickname doesn't seem to be American, to me, so take my advice with a grain of salt (though yeah, please don't be violent towards women, unless is like a smack in the butt in the bedroom lol)

No I wasn't going to punch her, I have great self control, I was just expressing the intense emotional rage I was feeling at that time, having a girl disrespct me everyday like that.

This happened a month back and I was just reflecting back on the situation on how to go about similar situations next time around.

How I actually responded to the situation is that I started ignoring her outright in response to her rudeness and berating me, she was weireded out the first few days, and then I notched it up further by just walking past her, talking past her interjections like she didn't even exist.

She had a comlete meltdown and started chasing me hard texting me about how horrible she was feeling for ignoring her, she kept pinging me not to ignore her like this as she felt excluded. I did tone it down and start talking go her again the last few days of class and her rudess completely vanished we took the subway again on our last day of class, she seemed relived as I stopped ignoring her, but she did jot mesaage me again.

Your response of interjecting her rudeness and asking her to be friends seems the mature thing to do, but I was just feeling emasculated when i found out she had been sleeping with another guy and juts couldn't look at her the same way again.

 

[Rakehell]

You missed the window, and rejected her in the process. Sounds like she punished you for it and moved on.

Everything after was maybe a way of saving face since it sounds like she was being very direct and on you for prying eyes to see. But also to get back at you for rejecting her in the first place.

(Don’t really get why you were hesitant to make a move in class if she was acting that way in class for other people to see herself.)

Can’t really get mad at her for it because you didn’t pull the trigger.

 

[SteelbookCollector]

"I thought i'd walk up to you and open my mouth because i'm a guy and its what we do", a sarcastic funny opener.