Girl Is Gone For A Week. "Just Checking In" Text?

[NarrowJ]

Went on a phenomenal first date with a girl. Bounced her to 3 venues, date lasted six hours, hugged and kissed at the end, tried to pull her home with no luck. Two days later she left for vacation for an entire week. The night before she left I texted her, telling her to send me some pics while on vacation, etcetera. She responded nicely, "Yes, I will send you some pictures! Make you a little jealous ", but now 3 days into her vacation I have yet to hear from her.

So, how should I play this? I'm starting to get the feeling that if I don't text first that I'm just not going to hear from her at all. Should I send her a "check-in" text, like "Hey hope your trip is going well Dont forget my pics!" That seems needy sounding to me, but perhaps its not. Maybe something different? Or don't text at all, since I already told her to text me? What do you guys think?

NJ

 

[trashKENNUT]

Went on a phenomenal first date with a girl. Bounced her to 3 venues, date lasted six hours, hugged and kissed at the end, tried to pull her home with no luck. Two days later she left for vacation for an entire week. The night before she left I texted her, telling her to send me some pics while on vacation, etcetera. She responded nicely, "Yes, I will send you some pictures! Make you a little jealous ", but now 3 days into her vacation I have yet to hear from her.

So, how should I play this? I'm starting to get the feeling that if I don't text first that I'm just not going to hear from her at all. Should I send her a "check-in" text, like "Hey hope your trip is going well Dont forget my pics!" That seems needy sounding to me, but perhaps its not. Maybe something different? Or don't text at all, since I already told her to text me? What do you guys think?

NJ

IT IS NEEDY. Don't DO IT. Get back to her after her holiday. That is the time you ask what happen to her promise. in a rather chill manner. You wouldn't want some girl texting you where the fuck you go especially on holiday. It's the same thing for her.

Zac

 

[Richard]

If she's on vacation, let her be NJ. Vacationing for everyone is a time to get away from your regular life, and people often get so wrapped up in new found activities that they forget other things, it's nothing to worry about, and it's nothing you should obsess over. I would take Zac's advice, that, if she doesn't hit you up by the time her vacation is over, then I would text her in a chill manner asking what happened, exactly as Zac said =)
- Richard

 

[NarrowJ]

Haha, far far from worried or obsessing. Just wondering if I should keep myself on her radar.

Thanks for the opinions, you guys. I'm going to wait until she gets back. Hopefully I don't lose too much momentum!

-NJ

 

[trashKENNUT]

Haha, far far from worried or obsessing. Just wondering if I should keep myself on her radar.

Thanks for the opinions, you guys. I'm going to wait until she gets back. Hopefully I don't lose too much momentum!

I hope too, because i did lost momentum with a girl when she went overseas. Good luck, i hope you meet her.

Zac

 

[Richard]

NJ, I have a suggestion, and it's purely a suggestion, something I've recently experimented with. A girl I talked to and took out went to Florida on vacation with her family about a month ago, she was interested in me, and I was only talking to her for experience, but, she told me she'd keep in touch with me while she was gone, and never did. But, when she came back! I texted her and it seemed to shift the momentum back in my favor, when she got back, I sent a light text message to start with, but ended up telling her something like (I really wish I had the exact text in front of me! =/...)
"Well Missy, what's your schedule like this week? Let's make plans so I can hear about your vacation, it must've been interesting!"

I crafted this generally after reading Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People," along with a yes ladder. The light conversation got her saying yes to some general questions, then, I asked her out which was paired with something interesting she just did (her vacation.), and my idea was, that the yes ladder got her in the right mindset, and more open, and used something she was interested in (because people love to talk about themselves and what they do) to get her in a good mood, and it worked. She said yes, and it was a wonderful evening date, she told me all about her vacation, her family, the surfing she had done and what not.

Like I said, this is a suggestion which worked for me, and I haven't been able to experiment more with it because not too many girls I talk to go on vacation, I simply created this technique when i was given the opportunity to experiment. If you wish, try it out and see what happens, tweak the message if you want, but like I said, it worked for me =)

Good luck,
Richard

 

[NarrowJ]

Hey, Zphix:

I'm reading that book now (How To Win Friends And Influence People, By Dale Carnegie)

I'm about a third of the way thought it, and so far it seems like he is telling me to just smile and kiss everyone's ass and do everything they are intersted in doing, and talk about the things they want to talk about, and make sure I remember their names. Lol. Seriously though, is there going to be a point in this book where he tells you how to act like this without letting people walk all over you and take your kindness for weakness? I'm way off topic now, but it's an interesting book that probably deserves its own thread in perhaps the off-topic forum.

NJ

 

[Richard]

J, believe it or not, I had the same questions you're going to have while reading that book. After PMing Light because he originally put me on to the book, he explained to me the benefits of the book, which is what I'm now going to do =) This is the message Light first sent me after I read the book:

Glad you like the book. It is a great book indeed.
There are many things that the book teaches you can can be very useful in your game, such as approaching strangers, sales technique (which is the same as selling yourself to the ladies), closing techniques, and most importantly... the psychology of people. Mastering the skills in this book helps you become a people person, and become a great conversationalist. It shows you how to influence people in a positive way, and "Influence" my friend... equals "Alpha". It is a very attractive trait for the ladies.
That is what is most important to you in your game - knowing HOW to talk to the ladies. NOT WHAT to talk about.

-The book teaches you alot of things, but probably the most important aspects are what Light pointed out to me (^^^) But, more-so than that however, the book teaches you to get people (women) talking about their desires, it shows you how to get women talking about what they really want, and after that, you can implicitly show how you can help her get what she wants (selling yourself to a woman). I don't know if you remember that post I posted a while back on "Selling yourself to a girl" and you replied and answered my question, but it's what the book teaches you.
Keep reading and enjoy NJ, it's well worth the read,
Richard

 

[NarrowJ]

Keep reading and enjoy NJ, it's well worth the read,

I'm definitely enjoying it. Excellent stuff!

 

[NarrowJ]

I texted this girl on Monday: "Hey, hope you had a great time on your little get-away! What happened to my pics? ;P"

No response.

Then I gave 1 day of radio silence and sent this yesterday afternoon (which is a text Chase recommended to me in the past when I had a flaky girl): "I hadn't heard from you since you got back from vacay. That mean I'm in the dog house?"

No response yet on this one either.


Who knows what happened. We had an awesome first date, so it is puzzling.



-NJ

 

[Richard]

You did everything right, maybe something happened to her like a 30 ft. shark rode a tidal wave to wherever she was swimming and ate her and her phone, or maybe just her phone. Give it a few more days of radio silence and see what happens.

 

[NarrowJ]

Ahahaha!

I will probably wait 2-3 days and text one last time. I'm not sure what I'll say, but I have time to think about it...

 

[Richard]

2 times without response is usually a 3-5 day wait from me, so try 3-4 J, and I bet she'll end up texting you during that radio silence time?

 

[Franco]

NJ,

"Hey, hope you had a great time on your little get-away! What happened to my pics? ;P"

I probably wouldn't have mentioned the pics. It makes it sound like you were waiting for her to send them all weekend.

But I think Zphix's story about the shark sounds plausible, too!

- Franco

 

[NarrowJ]

Good point about the pics.

Think I will chalk this one up as a loss. I can't bring myself to text a third time after two no responses, even if I were to wait 2-5 days. To me, it just screams "Hey I have no other options!" Haha.

Oh well, she probably couldn't handle me anyway

 

[Richard]

I still think a shark got her, and I don't know about you, but I wouldn't fight with a shark over a woman lol.
But she should be sorry for her loss, maybe one day she'll be abducted by aliens who will probe her and then she'll come to the realization that she should of said yes to a second date

 

[trashKENNUT]

still think a shark got her,

Reminds me of WWE Summerslam.

Zac

 

[diegoC]

NJ,

"Hey, hope you had a great time on your little get-away! What happened to my pics? ;P"

I probably wouldn't have mentioned the pics. It makes it sound like you were waiting for her to send them all weekend.

But I think Zphix's story about the shark sounds plausible, too!

- Franco

Exactly this. Exactly. Mentioning the pics means that it was on your mind all the time. You never forgot about that. You should have just texted her in a casual way.

Lesson learned.

Cheers!

 

[Chase]

Who knows what happened. We had an awesome first date, so it is puzzling.

Think I will chalk this one up as a loss. I can't bring myself to text a third time after two no responses, even if I were to wait 2-5 days. To me, it just screams "Hey I have no other options!" Haha.

Oh well, she probably couldn't handle me anyway

In this sort of situation phone calls can be exactly what you need - the situation where she enjoyed spending time with you originally, but for whatever reason time has passed and now her thinking about you has gotten weird.

The case here is (often) that SHE is being the weird one and thinking weird thoughts and feeling like it's too strange to reconnect with you now... but if you call her, and either get her on the phone or leave her an awesome voicemail, she's going to be immediately transported back to what she felt when she spent time with you previously - and at that point it's very easy to set up a second date.

Chase

 

[Thedoctor]

Who knows what happened. We had an awesome first date, so it is puzzling.

Think I will chalk this one up as a loss. I can't bring myself to text a third time after two no responses, even if I were to wait 2-5 days. To me, it just screams "Hey I have no other options!" Haha.

Oh well, she probably couldn't handle me anyway

In this sort of situation phone calls can be exactly what you need - the situation where she enjoyed spending time with you originally, but for whatever reason time has passed and now her thinking about you has gotten weird.

The case here is (often) that SHE is being the weird one and thinking weird thoughts and feeling like it's too strange to reconnect with you now... but if you call her, and either get her on the phone or leave her an awesome voicemail, she's going to be immediately transported back to what she felt when she spent time with you previously - and at that point it's very easy to set up a second date.

Chase

I am definitely going to try this next time this sort of situation happens to me. I actually prefer phone calls anyway.