Girl Just Won't Orgasm

[Beck Bass]

Hi there fellow seducers,

I've been going out with a girl from Tinder that's super sweet, shy and totally my type (other than not having much booty lol).
Even if she's shy, she gave me no resistance to touching her butt and kissing her in public (I think she's really into me).
On our second date, she sucked my D on the backseat of her car, and told me she really liked doing it.

After that, we finally had sex on my apartment, but neither of us came. It was really warm that day, we were sweating like pigs, and it was our first time having sex together, I had a condom on and everything, so I was like, whatever. We also had sex on the backseat of her car after that, but again, nothing, but it was just a quickie, so I didn't think much of it.

So I invited her to a motel (love hotel? dunno how you call that in English), she told me she's never been at one before, and I figured it would be a nice experience and I would able to fuck the hell out of her there and make her crazy for that D. It was fun taking her there, but the sex itself...
I was going in raw, because last time we had a quickie on her car, she didn't tell to put a condom on, in fact, she just slide my hard cock in her pussy as she sat over me, and I figured she must have not have any STD because she didn't seem like she gets around that much... (I told her I had just donated blood in our first date, after she asked me about the scar on my arm, so I figured she was that quick to accept me going raw because she knows I'm clean).
So I thrusted and thrusted, but as I was getting tired, she didn't seem like she was even close to getting there, like not even a moan or anything.
I tried licking her pussy for a while, but she didn't seem very interested.
She sucked my cock quite a bit, then I was gonna put it in her, and she didn't want me too (she told me she wasn't wet).
I licked her nipples and her whole body, kissed her quite a bit, trying to make her relax, and she got a bit wet, not super, her pussy was still tighter than before, but I entered her anyway.
So I'm fucking her in the usual "adapted missionary" position, the one with which I gave girls many orgasms before, but not even 2 minutes after I start thrusted she tells me to stop (I can't remember her words exactly, I was almost on shock when she said that, but it felt something like "this is no good"). I'm like, WTF man.

So I just get out of her, lay on the bed by her side, feeling super down. I got like into this depressive thought that our sex is terrible and I'm never gonna be able to make her cum, that I'm doing something wrong, and what's the point of me even seeing this girl if our sex is garbage? Like the only reason we met each other was sexual attraction, and the end goal was a sexual relationship, but then our sex is just this bad, so what's the point of keep on seeing her, even if I like her company a lot and she really turns me on?
She just starts talking some random shit about the radio on the motel, dunno if she was trying to defuse the tension or just pretending nothing really happened, but I'm like radio silent. She notices I'm freaking mad/sad (at this point I was thinking about just telling her we would leave and never seeing her again), and then all of sudden she turns into like super passionate, she gets on top of me, starts touching all over my body, kissing me passionately and stuff like that. It made me super happy, all of a sudden. We fucked a bit more but again none of use came, and I was just kinda tired.
I felt like at least doing something different with her, so I tell her to moan on my ear while I masturbate. She knows my neck and my ear are my weak points, so she starts kissing and licking there like crazy, and end up cumming all over her arm and belly. At least I came, I guess.

Next day I tell my friends what happened, and ask them for advice. One of my friends tell me girls almost never come from penetrative sex, that you gotta do oral and finger them and stuff like that. In my head, I'm like, this is total bullshit, I've made girls cum hard and consistently with only my cock, but ok, he's not that experienced and sometimes he comes up with those kinds of silly extrapolations when it comes to girls, even though he's a cool guy, in general.
My other friend simply told me: dude, some girls just don't cum. Like, at all, no matter what you do, they don't.
I was quite surprised by this, as he often would brag about his oral skills with girls, and would tell me girls rarely would cum from penetrative sex with him, so I was expecting a similar response to my other friend. This one has more experience with girls, at least lately, he's been fucking like 5 girls regularly as fuck buddies (no idea how he manages that lol), so I kinda trust his opinion a bit more, but I'm still skeptical.

The girl messaged me early in the afternoon asking me if I wanted to go to her house. At first I was like not even responding, as I thought I needed more time to process everything that happened the other day (it was quite an emotional breakdown, me trying my best to make a girl I really like cum, and not getting any result whatsoever, when I didn't have any problems in the past), but then I just accepted and figured I would try my best again to make her cum, now with more time and no pressure, and I would do my best to understand her and make her confortable.

So we had quite a bit of sex in Saturday, but none of us came, again. We did have a really cool moment though were I was laying facing up and she was just laying over me, kissing me, somehow her body just completely fits mine in this position, she totally can sleep on top of me. She also had me try some weird sex gel thing with her, it's supposed to "vibrate", but what it does feels more it's fucking burning you, she put quite a lot all over my cock, my uretra felt like it was burning from the inside, like I was peeing fire while she was sucking my cock lmao. I also ate her pussy using this thing, she told me she enjoyed it, but again, not a whole lot of moaning and I don't think she even got close to cumming.
Next day in the morning, we had some early morning sex, I asked her to suck my cock, she got wet and we fucked some more, but then she just told me to stop. I asked her if it was hurting her, she said it wasn't the case, so I don't fucking know, maybe she just finds it boring?

I'm not very certain of how much sex experience she has, but I feel like not a lot, because the first time we fucked in her car she started boucing on top of my cock like mega fast, I almost started laughing. Her oral skills weren't the best the first time around (dat T), but she got good very quickly, so maybe she just didn't do it for a long time? (I know oral is no judge of experience as well, since some guys just take whatever they can get and don't wanna shake the boat telling a girl she could do a little better). But the gel thing she had on her room was almost ending (I don't feel like she borrowed that from her mom lol), and it didn't seem like it was her first time doing it on the backseat of a car, though I had to persist for like half an hour kissing her to get her there for the first time. She told she never did anal and it was her first time on a motel ,as well, and by her attitude towards sex, I could say she's pretty unexperienced, but the gel thing really threw me off (she's also 26, so I don't think she's like almost a virgin, but probably way less experienced than most 26 year olds I know).
I asked her if she was into girls, if there was any chance she was a lesbian, but I don't think that's the case, she got super mega wet kissing and touching me on the morning. Also I tried caressing her butthole many times (I was slapping her butt quite a bit as well), but she would often stop me and take out my hand laughing if it stayed there for long. She told me she thought she didn't like it, even though she never did it (I tried to convince her to try, since she might be reaaally into it and not know, my ex for example would cum hard from anal, but she wouldn't let me try still).

I don't have a whole lot of experience. Sure, I fucked my ex like more than two hundred times in two years, and most of them ended up with her cumming once or twice, but other than that I only had a couple of lays before this girl (she's the seventh). Still, I was able to make most of those girls cum or at least get close to it from penetrative sex alone, using Chase's guide (the fabled adapted missionary). But with this girl it seems it doesn't work, at all.
Another thing I didn't mention is we tried some different positions in the motel, there was some sort of weird thing to seat there, and it was kinda hard to even put my cock inside of her, like her pussy was at an angle in which sex was just hard. I don't know how much of anatomy is in fault for our sex stuff. I have an average cock size, but I'm mine is a bit thicker than usual, also a bit curved on the base before it starts going up (a bit like a banana?), my ex used to tell me the shape was great to make her cum, since it touched all her "right spots" (she attributed that as part of the reason I was the only guy to make her cum hard from penetrative sex). At first I thought maybe my cock was a bit big for her, as she's a bit of a smaller girl, and could be hurting her, but she told me not, also I fucked a girl as skinny and small as her and she came super hard for me, so I don't think that has much of an influence (at least not negatively, I think).

I have a really big ego, and before I bragged about how I would be able to make girls cum with my dick "alone" (mostly to the girls themselves, I don't want to shame other guys and be an asshole for no reason), but this girl is really a puzzle to me. I feel like a lot of the enjoyment I get from sex and even seduction as a whole is by the end of it making a girl cum her brains out, so it's really underwhelming that one of the girls I'm most excited about in years doesn't cum with me. It also messes with my self steem and percieved value, you know, I thought that a girl had no reason to cheat on me because on top of being a great, intelligent, strong, dominant guy, I was able to give them pleasure most other men couldn't, but now I can't even make this girl get there, so I'm gonna always be wondering if some other guy is gonna be able to do it, and if she's gonna leave me for him.
Also, it really just sucks that I can't make her cum, like I want the girl I'm with to have a great time, and if she doesn't cum, I kinda feel guilty and selfish of cumming without her, which also robs me of my pleasure.

So I thought about it and came with some possibilities/thoughts about her/the situation, I hope someone with more experience and knowledge could give me an opinion:
- She really doesn't cum and I can't do anything about it:
Seem super unlikely, and I just don't wanna believe it, she told me she masturbated, but she took really long to cum, so I think there's hope (I hope!?!);
- She has some sort of trauma towards sex (particularly penetrative sex) that's keeping her from cumming:
It's kinda sad to think that, but I know many girls go through some fucked up stuff sometime in life. Since she told me to simple and plain "stop" while fucking her, maybe it reminds her of that, and it's gonna take quite some time and work to get her emotionally through that, if that's the case;
- Our anatomy really isn't helping, and she feels nothing or next to nothing with the positions I use:
Seems likely, since she really doesn't seem excited about penetrative sex (she moaned and seemed to enjoy it more the last time, but nothing close to what I would consider normal). Maybe trying new positions could help with that, I don't know (I'm a pretty basic bitch when it comes down to this, she really didn't like when I lifted her legs, she said it hurt, maybe I did too much, but again, dunno, haven't tried doggy and more unusual ones);

Sorry for the long post, but I really want some help with this.
Not only because of this one girl, but I think having a better understanding of what it takes to make girls (or at least more girls) to cum would be a great skill to have, after all, I think a lot of guys here don't wanna just use girls as their little cumdubsters, but actually make a difference in those girls' lifes and give them the best experience they can.

Thank you

 

[deletedaccount]

Next day I tell my friends what happened, and ask them for advice. One of my friends tell me girls almost never come from penetrative sex, that you gotta do oral and finger them and stuff like that. In my head, I'm like, this is total bullshit, I've made girls cum hard and consistently with only my cock, but ok, he's not that experienced and sometimes he comes up with those kinds of silly extrapolations when it comes to girls, even though he's a cool guy, in general.
My other friend simply told me: dude, some girls just don't cum. Like, at all, no matter what you do, they don't.
I was quite surprised by this, as he often would brag about his oral skills with girls, and would tell me girls rarely would cum from penetrative sex with him, so I was expecting a similar response to my other friend. This one has more experience with girls, at least lately, he's been fucking like 5 girls regularly as fuck buddies (no idea how he manages that lol), so I kinda trust his opinion a bit more, but I'm still skeptical.

Uh hi yeah so most girls absolutely need clitoral stimulation. Ever wondered why girls hardly ever masturbate with just a dildo or finger penetration? There's always a vibe or some clit action and that is definitely for a reason. I wouldn't necessarily say oral is the best way to go; from my own and my lady friends' experiences, it's usually only subpar and pretty difficult, so try fingering. Otherwise, honestly, your second friend is right. There could be hella reasons (SSRI's etc) but a lot of girls take about an hour to cum even when masturbating (which is easier bc the person doing the pleasing knows exactly how and where to touch). So my advice? Ask her to show you where and how she likes to be touched. Be more communicative. A lot of girls fake orgasms; you'd be surprised, but with all my experience less than half had actually made me cum and every single one thinks they have; for other girls, it's even less than that that have succeeded. Most guys don't believe me, whatever, I get it, but just be glad this one isn't faking. She's more likely to be direct with you about what she actually wants, which can lead to mindblowing sex. Also remember that for a lot of girls, sex can be extremely fulfilling without an orgasm. Good luck man

 

[Derek da man]

The trouble with most peoples talk about sex is that they always focus on all the good things and never talk about things that don't work. A bit like you see all your friends on FB doing good stuff and you're not so you feel our missing out. Reality is it's about perspective, same thing applies to sex. For all the good experiences sometimes things don't work and that leads to frustration and disappointment, just to make it worse we often find the feeling of disappointment someone else, your partner, is even worse than it not working for you.


One of my friends tell me girls almost never come from penetrative sex,
cow patt - some do - in my experience as a woman gets older this happens more often - just my experience though

I had a GF who I had a huge amount of problems getting her to orgasm and it took a lot of sessions trying different things. In fairness to her she did tell me that she only came from having her boobs and nipples played with. I didn't get it at all so wasn't really listening and kept working on her pussy and clit. When I stopped trying to give her orgasms and just play with her boobs and sucked her nipples she did have good orgasms but it took 20-30 minutes. After about a year I did get her to orgasm orally but it took a while.

What I did learn is that I needed to focus on simply giving and receiving pleasure with NO expectation of orgasms - if they happen then great, if not just enjoy the time together.

It sounds to me like you have a good girl there as she loves sucking your dick and pleasuring you. It might feel wrong but let her pleasure you and get you to orgasm, she will get great satisfaction from that and feel she's been good to you. That will then help her relax and then you, return the pleasure all over her body, or wherever she says she likes. That will take time for you to learn her body and work out but it could be fun exploring something you've not done before. You will find it hard to avoid focusing on her pussy etc but you should actually avoid this area until she is really really relaxed and warmed up. It won't be wham bam the same as you have experienced previously.

The girl I refer to above has since become an ongoing FWB and the sex is really good as she's always wanting to try out and experience new things. She's very experimental, loves dressing up for me, loves being handcuffed and is just starting to want to try kinky stuff - but it took time for her to have the confidence in herself to be able to express what turned her on, what she wanted to try and what her particular tastes are.

Hope this helps.

 

[Skills]

Get her to open up freely without judgment find out what she likes or doesn't like have her open up. Something is off in what you are doing she is not comfortable or relaxed or just don't like your style... try getting her to a place were she is so wet and horny she wants to jump you, did you try a nice massage to relax her follow by sensual one are you being vocal during sex are you multitasking playing with the cli while penetrating while sucking tits... something is off, make sure you not putting pressure on her to cum

 

[Beck Bass]

Uh hi yeah so most girls absolutely need clitoral stimulation. Ever wondered why girls hardly ever masturbate with just a dildo or finger penetration? There's always a vibe or some clit action and that is definitely for a reason... Good luck man

Thank you very much for the advice, I've been trying with her and I'm noticing she's enjoying sex more and more. She told me she only slept with a couple of guys and I think she hasn't been very intimate with them, so I think we just got to have more sex, really hehe

I wouldn't necessarily say oral is the best way to go; from my own and my lady friends' experiences, it's usually only subpar and pretty difficult, so try fingering.

Yeah, I myself hardly get close to cumming with oral as well, even if I enjoy it almost as much (if not more, sometimes) than (penetrative) sex.

A lot of girls fake orgasms; you'd be surprised, but with all my experience less than half had actually made me cum and every single one thinks they have; for other girls, it's even less than that that have succeeded.

I know, my ex faked sometimes, it felt weird to me because I could tell, so I told her she could open up to me and tell me she wasn't going to cum and I would feel better than her having to fake it, that I enjoyed having sex with her anyways, and I think she stopped (or got really good at it lol).
Even if I made some girls cum hard with just my D, there almost as many if not more that I had trouble making cum, for sure, but generally I would attribute that to something else, like we just didn't have that great of a chemistry or whatever (I think this is just my inexperience showing a bit hehe, even if I approached and kissed many many girls, I slept with just a handful, since I lived with my parents, had no money and no car, so logistics were tough).
I guess I also got lucky with some girls that had an easier time cumming and were really into me.

Also remember that for a lot of girls, sex can be extremely fulfilling without an orgasm.

She seems pretty happy with our sex overall, but I have a huge sex drive and I thought that maybe if she cums (or the more she cums) the more she'll want it, but dunno

In fairness to her she did tell me that she only came from having her boobs and nipples played with.

Lol I didn't know that was really real, I always use nipples as a secondary way of stimulation to get girls there but not as the main one... This girl in particular laughs a lot when I lick her nipples, or her neck. It kinda takes me out of the sexual vibe, but I guess I just gotta get use to it hehe, different people have different ways to express pleasure, I suppose

It sounds to me like you have a good girl there as she loves sucking your dick and pleasuring you. It might feel wrong but let her pleasure you and get you to orgasm, she will get great satisfaction from that and feel she's been good to you. That will then help her relax and then you, return the pleasure all over her body, or wherever she says she likes. That will take time for you to learn her body and work out but it could be fun exploring something you've not done before. You will find it hard to avoid focusing on her pussy etc but you should actually avoid this area until she is really really relaxed and warmed up. It won't be wham bam the same as you have experienced previously.

getting her to a place were she is so wet and horny she wants to jump you, did you try a nice massage to relax her follow by sensual one are you being vocal during sex are you multitasking playing with the cli while penetrating while sucking tits...

Yeah I've been focusing more on other stimuli, eventually she gets so wet she starts grabbing my cock and tells me to get a condom, then she seems to be enjoying sex more... I also been trying other positions and letting her ride me, even if she doesn't quite orgasm it's lovely to hear her moan

She's very experimental, loves dressing up for me, loves being handcuffed and is just starting to want to try kinky stuff - but it took time for her to have the confidence in herself to be able to express what turned her on, what she wanted to try and what her particular tastes are.

I get a feeling she will open up to me eventually too, I'm not really used to inexperienced girls but I guess there are nice things about it.

make sure you not putting pressure on her to cum

Yeah I'm trying as best as I can, but it feels a bit sad when she doesn't, but I know pressuring her in anyway it's the worst thing I can do, so I'll try to keep as openminded and outcome independent as I can

Thank yall for answering! ;D

 

[Conquistador]

There could be hella reasons (SSRI's etc)

Tysm for this very useful bit of info! I had no idea this was so common. A while back a male friend got super anxious about this (he's not even sexually active) and I told him it was no big deal and reversible.
Given how commonly prescribed antidepressants are these days in the US (especially among women), it's definitely worth noting.

 

[deletedaccount]

Tysm for this very useful bit of info! I had no idea this was so common. A while back a male friend got super anxious about this (he's not even sexually active) and I told him it was no big deal and reversible.
Given how commonly prescribed antidepressants are these days in the US (especially among women), it's definitely worth noting.

Way over prescribed if you ask me, especially with mental illness seemingly becoming a trend (thanks tiktok) but thats neither here nor there. Birth control and drugs can also definitely affect sex drive and sexuality in and of itself. I went off the pill and immediately lost 30 pounds and fell in love with a guy I'd only ever seen as a friend so yeah.

 

[sunnygirl]

To repeat what the first poster said most women need some form of clit action/stimulatin to get off, I'm pretty sure it's less than 25 percent of women can actually orgasm from penetrative sex, and sometimes to appease the man's ego the woman will fake it. Anyways, most of women's orgasms come mental relaxation, if she's feeling uptight, tensed, or judged then it will be hard for her to cum even if you do all the right things physically. Especially if women feel an impatient vibe, like you want her to cum as fast as possible, they tend to tense up and unable to relax. I think the key is to just tell her you have all the time to get her off and tell her to close her eyes and breathe and just tell her to touch herself first so you can observe, then slide underneath her and copy her hand motions.

For women, getting to orgasm is much more mental than physical, for guys if they see a hot girl they can probably cum super fast, but for women they need to fully relax before surrendering if that makes sense.

 

[Zoro]

Hypothesis here.

If women's sexuality is like preheating an oven, meaning it takes time to get in the mood and orgasm, then those who have a difficult time having orgasms have not yet been warmed all the way up without something interrupting them. Interruptions: things like not feeling comfortable with the guy, sexual hang ups, bad sexual experiences, not knowing how to relax fully, being afraid of letting go into such an intense experience, etc.

Those interruptions are now blocks in her psyche. She can feel pleasure, but she is afraid or not allowing herself to go all the way.

That means you have to help them through getting warmed up, addressing those blocks, making her feel safe and comfortable and trusting you to take her to the depths and heights, that you will be a safe space to fall into and not drop her. It's like clearing the path to a place she hasn't yet gone or is afraid to go, and making sure the area is safe.

 

[sunnygirl]

There could be hella reasons (SSRI's etc)

omg this reminds me a couple years ago when I took prozac/zoloft/other antidepressants and it completely killed my libido and made me feel so numb. The negative emotions were wiped, but I didn't feel any excitement or joy, during that time period I had no urge at all which kind of freaked me out.

but a lot of girls take about an hour to cum even when masturbating

Since we're both girls I'd like your perspective, I don't know if it's just me but I can be touching myself physically in ways that would make me cum, but if I wasn't in the right mindset I just couldn't feel any arousal. Recently had a lot of negative thoughts and if I think negatively about my body or my sexuality (or feel any shame) it's hard for me to get aroused, because my body is in fear mode, I saw a thread on here that was extremely helpful in helping me feel in touch with my body again, I'll link it here.
Ah, here it is. https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/how-to-draw-orgasms-up-your-spine.26872/#post-154722
Written by a guy, but I honestly think that it can apply to anyone.

 

[TheEcho]

Edit: lol, just noticed this is 2 years old. Woops.

Read the OP and skimmed the comments. I'll just bring my own experience (also mostly from my ex) and try to offer tips that might crack the code. First, like Skills and Wick mention, open up the airways and chat with her, laugh at the absurdity, enjoy yourself anyways. I was totally limp the first night with my latest fwb (not used to condoms and she was on her period), and I just laughed at the ridiculousness of it all and enjoyed the time anyways.

Onto more tangible thoughts:

Adapted missionary is by far my favorite position after 1k+ rounds. Being able to manhandle her in many ways, push all the way in, experiment with knee positioning, and smother her to varying degrees offers so much high-quality variety. I imagine you've done this, but, you need your pelvises to connect to get her clit involved. I believe the article on the position mentions that, but I "dug into it" through experimentation of how to get ALL the way in.

Hold the back of her neck, nudge her down into your thrusts, get down and put some weight on her, nibble her ear, teeth her neck and shoulders (carefully), try to expand over her (make her feel small). Experiment with knee positions to find what let's your hips move freely and what gives you pleasure inside her (I was finding new stuff up to the very end of 5 years of intentional fucking).

Tease her with very shallow thrusts, then go to town, or tease and randomly ram all the way in and go right back to shallow. Have fun with her and with finding what feels good.

Also, don't pass up the magic of a faux-finish. This may not work without her familiarity with the cumming motion of a man, but worth a shot. Have a good motion going, then ramp up as if you were about to finish, and slam into her as if you were cumming. This can get those sparks that finishing triggers, without actually being finished!

Shifting positions slightly, legs up missionary is in close second. With her legs up, lean onto them and tilt her pelvis upwards so your curve can do magic in the shallows. This is where most of her feeling is, so you use the skewed angle to cause much more friction against the front side of her vagina (usually where the g-spot is). Full thrusting is also great here, having her wrap her arms around her legs and grabbing her forearms for leverage, rolling her up into a ball (I think an article mentions this one) and digging the fuck out of her hole (mindful, this is the only time I would go too deep). You can also lean into her legs and hold her neck (very careful about your weight distribution).

Reminder, be looking for what feels good for you, and that usually translates well for her (as long as the clit gets loving)

Prone is my 3rd favorite and the last of the positions that saw regular use. This one offers some nice psychological opportunities. Smothering her, you can have 1 hand around her neck, 1 hand pinning one or both of her hands down, and you whispering in/nibbling her ears as she can do nothing but be devoured by you. Knee position is a big thing here to get full, complete thrusts without killing your abs or popping out a lot.

The next time the opportunity arises, ask her if she's ever orgasmed, and if she says no or not much, then if you do prone, here's a little gameplan: be going for a few minutes, find good positioning for great thrusts, don't hide your enjoyment of ravishing her. Hold her throat, be covering her head area (not suffocating), let out sounds of satisfaction naturally, if you do. Then (with a great motion going non-stop) ask her if she wants to cum. Be dominant and toy with her with your tone to get a response by asking more if needed. "Do you want to cum?" "Want me to make you cum?" with varying levels of forcefulness and teasing. Don't stop the motion of that ocean! Then play with her a bit, ask her a couple more times until she's begging, then tell her "okay... CUM" and smash your hips into hers and try to reach for her heart from the inside. If that doesn't work (after the usual missionary), I'd give up on a girl lol.

Hope this helps!

Again, get that communication flowing, it seems stultified by your unhappiness with not making her orgasm!

 

[Beck Bass]

stultified

Oh that's a new word for me hehe

I tried a lot of the things mentioned here. Legs up was just too much for her, she said my penis would go too deep and hurt her (she's relatively short compared to me).

I think our biggest problem by far was our very different sex drives. I wanted to try a lot of different things with her, but she rarely would be up for sex. I tried focusing more and more on her, just kissing her whole body, whispering kinky things in her ear, trying to get her confortable with sex with me, but it was tough.
Also life gets in the way, you have problems at work and other reponsabilities wear you down, then by the end of the day it's tough to always be this caring and patient with a girl. As much as I loved her, many times I would just wish she had a higher sex drive to begin with and I didn't had to be this caring for her to want to be intimate with me on the first place. Maybe we were just very incompatible in that matter.

Anyway, we parted ways at the beginning of the year. I think part of me wanting to be with her was to prove that I could make her cum regardless, that I could have this breakthrough with a girl, but at the same time her never cumming and rarely wanting sex was what made it not work, for me.

 

[TheEcho]

Damn, sounds like she does have some trauma. My ex had a low sex drive, but she wasn't going to turn down a bunch of orgasms. Seems like something was blocking this girl's ability to enjoy it

 

[Beck Bass]

Seems like something was blocking this girl's ability to enjoy it

Yeah, that's for sure.
I think she once mentioned I "didn't knew any of her past trauma, so I couldn't understand". I think I tried as hard as I could to get her to open up, but she never said anything (she said something like "don't worry, it's nothing major or too terrible", so I'm assuming it wasn't something like ra... but she never really told me). She could also just be saying whatever makes me stop trying to get her to be more sexual just for the sake of it, but I think it's unlikely. I really just wanted to understand her to help her orgasm, but it's tough.

I think part of it might be she also keeps some extra power over me as well not cumming, so she rather not try. She knows I want to make a girl orgasm, specially my girl, and if suddenly I can, maybe I lose interest in her (I know I wouldn't, if anything, I would want her more)? Maybe she falls even harder for me because now she cums for me as well? I have no idea, I mean, I can't really know what goes on in her mind, maybe is a combo of all of this, maybe she fears she'll lose control of the relationship completely if I can make her cum and she wants it (and ofc she would want it once I can make her cum)

 

[TheEcho]

That's a lot of power dynamic thinking, is this from her or from you? Either way, kind of reinforces my focus on innocent girls for LTR's.

 

[Beck Bass]

That's a lot of power dynamic thinking, is this from her or from you? Either way, kind of reinforces my focus on innocent girls for LTR's.

Well, she's innocent as it gets. I mean, she's virtuous, that's for sure. I really admire her as a woman.
I'm not sure about "focusing on innocent girls". Some girls seem absolute innocent and have slept with tons of dudes. Of course there are signs, and it's better to date a girl that ties more love to sex (like more inexperienced women will do), but idk.
If you talking about her manipulating me, I'm not afraid of that. I mean, every woman will try to control you, it's just the nature of things, but it felt ok with her.

is this from her or from you?

No idea, probably just me reading too much into her (as in things that don't even exist lol, I would hope she's just holding back and I could make her cum, though).

 

[sunnygirl]

Bit late to the party, but just wanted to revive this thread for further discussion on how a woman's sexuality can get ramped up.

Wick here is absolutely right on how to give a girl an orgasm. I read somewhere that a guy can get aroused just by the sensation of getting hard, but women typically need mental relaxation to get off. You can be less than 'Chad' (or whatever they call studs nowadays) looks wise, but if you know how to press her buttons mentally and dirty talk in a way that she really is into, you're going to be the cream of the crop, top of the competition for her.

Get into her mental headspace, tell her to relax, and that you find her attractive. Here's where escalation is key, but not too much at once (unless she's into that). Sometimes dry humping can get a girl really wet, after a few minutes of doing that and whispering the stuff that'll make her go wild, then you can start initiating the real thing.

Foreplay is essential for women, I read a statistic that the majority of women don't come from penetration alone.

Sex can be extremely enjoyable though regardless if she does end up coming. Sometimes we women just want to please the guy and stroke his ego and tell him that he made us finish when that's not necessarily the case.

Additionally, don't be scared to incorporate toys and even a dildo in the bedroom. Fingering is also great, sometimes it can feel better than oral! Your hands can do a better job pleasing her than your mouth sometimes, but if you're skilled at giving oral then that's great too. Here's a good tip on fingering, cup both of your hands facing up and shove them inside, you should hit the g spot, make sure to curve your fingers while you keep sliding them in and out. This will REALLY get her hot and bothered (don't ask me how I know)...

Good luck!

 

[Viper]

Bit late to the party, but just wanted to revive this thread for further discussion on how a woman's sexuality can get ramped up.

Wick here is absolutely right on how to give a girl an orgasm. I read somewhere that a guy can get aroused just by the sensation of getting hard, but women typically need mental relaxation to get off. You can be less than 'Chad' (or whatever they call studs nowadays) looks wise, but if you know how to press her buttons mentally and dirty talk in a way that she really is into, you're going to be the cream of the crop, top of the competition for her.

Get into her mental headspace, tell her to relax, and that you find her attractive. Here's where escalation is key, but not too much at once (unless she's into that). Sometimes dry humping can get a girl really wet, after a few minutes of doing that and whispering the stuff that'll make her go wild, then you can start initiating the real thing.

Foreplay is essential for women, I read a statistic that the majority of women don't come from penetration alone.

Sex can be extremely enjoyable though regardless if she does end up coming. Sometimes we women just want to please the guy and stroke his ego and tell him that he made us finish when that's not necessarily the case.

Additionally, don't be scared to incorporate toys and even a dildo in the bedroom. Fingering is also great, sometimes it can feel better than oral! Your hands can do a better job pleasing her than your mouth sometimes, but if you're skilled at giving oral then that's great too. Here's a good tip on fingering, cup both of your hands facing up and shove them inside, you should hit the g spot, make sure to curve your fingers while you keep sliding them in and out. This will REALLY get her hot and bothered (don't ask me how I know)...

Good luck!

If I be fair to ask what are the signs a woman has orgasm

 

[Conquistador]

If I be fair to ask what are the signs a woman has orgasm

Depends on the girl but a major one is the muscle contractions which are hard to fake and prty much impossible to exactly imitate voluntarily. If you want a laugh, go watch some porn and when the girl(s) gets “close”, just watch their abs.

 

[Beck Bass]

If I be fair to ask what are the signs a woman has orgasm

In my opinion/experience mostly "contractions", like @Surveyor wrote.
My ex was veeeeery sexual and came very easily, so I got used to it, so used when she faked, I could tell (at least some of the times she faked, I'm sure lol).
So that's the thing, you will never be a 100% sure, but the signs are mostly unvoluntary. Honestly girls are not thaaaat different from guys, other than having a much harder time cumming on average (my girl now never came in her life, for instance, I'm still trying to get her to cum, I got close few weeks ago). If they get like really tired and maybe start complaning about you still stimulating them (like their clit or pussy getting sore, but without actually being that physically "damaged"), then they probably came. Girls have different ways of cumming as well, sometimes they are very loud, other times quiet, think about how your own orgasms (assuming you have had enough of them) had a whole range of intensity and duration to them, girls also have that, maybe even more so because most don't seem to have much trouble cumming multiple times in a row (other than their body parts ACTUALLY getting tired and sore).

But I guess the girls in the forums must know better hehe