Girl keeps rescheduling!

[Garrett]

Hey guys,

So this girl I met on POF keeps rescheduling the meet. First we were going to meet on Friday, then Saturday, and now she wants to move it to Sunday. It's really annoying because I haven't met up with any girls in the past while, so I keep conserving my energy for the date so I can perform well, but she keeps cancelling and wanting to move it to the next day... twice! Both reasons she gave me seem legit enough - first a person bailed on her for a project, now she's telling me she forgot about her friend's party tonight, but every time she asks if we can meet the next day.

Anyways, I'm mainly doing this for the experience (to try different tactics/techniques), not because I'm really that into this girl. It's annoying how she keeps on moving the date though. Would you normally go along with this? My schedule is flexible so I can fit her in if I get my stuff done, but seeing as I'm a bit rusty, I'm concerned that I won't do that well if I'm tired/not feeling energized...

What I was thinking to say to her response is something along the lines of, 'Well that depends, what time would you be able to meetup at tomorrow? I've got some work to attend to and depending on if I get it done, I can meetup. '

I know Chase says only reschedule if the girl is adamant about doing so. Each day she'd ask me if I was free the next day, and whenever I'd text her a few hours before she'd ask if we could move it to the next day. I don't know if this means she's adamant about rescheduling, but she proposes it every time. Also, if she reschedules one more time, I'm going to text her with the 'I'll leave the ball in your court, it's apparent that you're busy so let me know when things clear up and if we're both free we can meetup '

It's just frustrating because she's put off this date twice in 2 days and, my productivity has been lacking a bit, mainly because I'm trying to go to the date with as much energy as possible. Do you think it would be better to just get my stuff done, and 2 hours before, start getting ready mentally for it? If you go straight from working to the date, it's good in the sense that you won't be thinking about her as much, but at the same time, you'll be pretty tired and it'll hard to find ways of engaging her in conversation, especially if you are a bit rusty at it in the given moment.

Any advice?
Garrett

 

[NarrowJ]

Brother, I wish I had some advice for you. But I'll be paying attention to this post, because this is something I would like to know how to handle as well.

The one thing I will say is that girls I meet online reschedule often, while girls I meet out in a bar or wherever rarely EVER reschedule. I think girls online have so many options she may be queuing up dates. Which doesn't necessarily hurt your chances in my opinion. I've had plenty girls I've met online be on the fence about meeting me, and then I rock their f*cking socks off when they meet me.

 

[Tyme2k]

I have some off topic advice not specific to this situation. Something in your first paragraph caught my eye

It's really annoying because I haven't met up with any girls in the past while, so I keep conserving my energy for the date so I can perform well

This is, in my opinion,(rsd terms here) a limiting belief. You should understand there is another level and piece to pickup described as "Momentum." Momentum is extremely powerful, hense why challenges were created by pro coaches worldwide. Chase has 7 day newbie challenge, even Style Niel Strauss has an insane challenge. What these are designed to do is create momentum.

Basically I'm saying you will not want to pause or halt your active gaming if you want to get good or have a great interaction with a girl you like. I'm not saying your skills aren't tight enough to manage and it doesnt vary from person to person, I'm just saying that with momentum you are pretty much gauranteed to do better.

Another thing momentum will do is keep you from falling into scarcity. Right now all your focus is on this girl and her flaking, this is coming off in your texts and vibe.. She sees your time as available and plentiful. If you read how I set my day 2's you will see, I give them one option and they can take it or leave it. The reason for this is I'm truly busy, so I have no extra time.

Lastly I cant help you with the specifics since I don't meet girls online. To me it sounds like too much effort and who knows what you're going to get. I am much more into cold approaching and vibing immediately, it's much easier to screen the type of women you want and ensure your precious time isn't wasted on games. I also feel that if a girl has an online profile and willing to meet guys there, the chances are she is not very high quality and doesn't offer much value to those already in her life. I could be wrong this is just a theory of mine. The type of women I personally enjoy nailing are the ones that have tons of dudes trying to get in their pants and none of them are able to spark that fire in them.. Sometimes it's difficult to get them out, but that's what makes the game fun!

 

[Estate]

Hey,
So I probably don't have a solid answer... it's something I've had with a few girls over time.

The simple fact is she is not invested enough. I know you met online so it's difficult to build this online. If she was really invested, she wouldn't cancel unfortunatlely.
But since you haven't actually met, it's not a lost cause yet. If you DO meet her and blow her away, she can still become more invested after that, it can happen, had you already met, I'd write her off now.

How you handle this depends on what you're looking for. When I've been in this situation and had other girls in contact too, I have just ignored them in the past... focus on the ones who DO want to meet. It's 50/50 in terms of results. Sometimes this will cause her to get in contact a little later asking how's it going because she's wondering why you stopped asking her out but other times she just plain isn't interested and has other things going on.
So doing that there's no guarantee you'll get her, but at least you'll know if she's being genuine in rescheduling if she re-initiates contact or not.

If you really want to meet her though, I'd reschedule for next week... tell her instead of asking her:
"Hey, I've already got plans to do X tomorrow and the next few days are crazy... tell you what, I still have Thursday evening open now, come meet me at X".
The problem right now is she has all this stuff going on and you're showing her that you have nothing going on or are willing to cancel anything to meet her. Let her know you're busy also so that if she keeps rescheduling, you're not going to be able to be open every night. So you're already on the back foot... take control of the situation, by basically writing off this weekend as BOTH of you are busy then tell her a time you ARE free later in the week, see if she accepts.

There's no guarantees unfortunately with this. If she's not totally interested she'll keep flaking. I think taking a little control of the situation might help, if she's interested she'll follow along.

 

[Little Jester]

Could also be she's like what I'd categorize as an emotional, outgoing, but a bit chaotic girl. Of course doesn't have to be, but this behaviour reminds me of a few girls I know. Just a different angle on the subject;

You know, those types who are very fun, social, have no clue about what they want in life, keep forgetting stuff, don't have an agenda or don't keep track of their appointments. They live in the moment and spontaneously do things. Since there is no connection between you two yet, her personality and default set of behaviours could be what is distracting her from going to the meet...

I think these girls are cute in the way they behave. Almost a little clumsy. But you'd have to let go about planning, organizing and structure when dealing with them. Works better to send them a message like "Hey, what are you up to right now. I'm free for the night. Let's meet!"