Girl picks hang out spot. Good or bad?

[Maxxz]

Hello Fellas,

So I know a guy's always supposed to lead. But I meet this cool chick and we're supposed to hang out next week. She texted me last night and suggest a spot we should hang out at. I just went along and said cool. Lets do it. Is that good or bad? Or should I have chosen the spot? Any tips here for future references would be helpful.

 

[foggy]

How did the suggestion happen? Did you suggest you hang out at a certain place, then she counteroffered by saying you guys should chill somewhere else?

The problem with her picking the spot to meet at is that it might be bad logistically. Is it in a spot where you can easily pull this chick back to your house to fuck her? Is it in a spot that will prevent you guys from moving towards intimacy (like going to the movies - thats a bad idea)?

I recommend reading this article, it's been helpful for me: https://www.girlschase.com/content/dating-your-terms

 

[Maxxz]

Hey Backstory,

I hadn't even decided where we were going before she fired off her text to me. The logistics thing was already bad for me, she lives about 40 mins away from me. But the spot she picked is only about 15 mins away from her place. So I can always try to pull her back to her spot. Anyhow I'll roll with it, see what happens. If I can pull her back to her place great. If not, I won't sweat it much. On to the next one.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Maxxz,

What Backstory says is right, girls have no clue about logistics. You pick a date spot convenient for your date plan, for instance how far it is from your seduction place.

Also, she has no idea of a good date spot. She could choose, for instance, a very noisy place where building emotional comfort will be very difficult. Etc...

Next, the date idea might be a bad one. Fun date, party date, restaurant date, all setting the wrong frame.

But it is also, as you mention, because you want to signal to her that you are the one leading the interaction, from the very beginning. Accepting her date spot, means surrendering some leadership to her. One thing is sure, if you let the girl lead, it is likely to end nowhere, seduction wise. Not good for the attraction. Good for the friend zone.

Better to lose the girl than to lose your frame. I have turned down dates where the girl imposed her idea then refused to compromise.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[ProblemSolving]

Yeah just to add to what has already been said. When girls choose a date location they're generally going to pick a spot that's comfortable and convenient FOR THEM. You can see how the odds of getting laid in such scenario are extremely low.

Also, don't get confused over compliance. Compliance doesn't increase a girl's attraction for you, but it does REVEAL her attraction for you. For example, say you propose a date that's 5 minutes from your place, and she accepts. She's NOT thinking, I can't believe I'm going all the way across town to meet this guy, I must really like him. No, the reason why she accepts your date idea is because you are already high value to her which means the odds for getting laid are high.

Conversely, when a girl doesn't comply with your date idea, her attraction for you doesn't drop, it just reveals her already low interest level. Since her interest level is low, the odds of getting the lay are exceedingly low because you're not a high priority to her. You will be tempted to try to turn things around by going with her date idea, but the odds are very unlikely you will get anywhere because low interest girls STAY low interest. You will no doubt have to experience this failure a few times before it sinks in, and then you start screening the low interest girls out before the date.

Finally, take her logistics into consideration. Some girls just need a little logistical help. I've had high interest girls that didn't have cars or bad transit access that were fine with getting drinks, they just needed me to pick them up. I had to drive 30 minutes to pick them up, then I just drove them straight to back to my place or a bar near my place to close.