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Girl say don't meet guys through pick-up

vicknick

Space Monkey
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How do you solve this problem, where after your opener, the girl just smile and say "thanks, but I don't meet guys through this way (pick-up)"? I usually just say "yeah, but you never know who you will meet".
 
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StrayDog

Modern Human
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How do you solve this problem, where after your opener, the girl just smile and say "thanks, but I don't meet guys through this way (pick-up)"? I usually just say "yeah, but you never know who you will meet".
this is similar to an "I'm not that kind of girl" statement. If you are like "yeah but there are always exceptions" then you are buying into her frame.

your example reply subcommunicates that you are trying to convince her that it is a valid way to meet. I would say something more like
"don't worry, you'll get the hang of it" (empathize, with a touch of cockiness)
or
"yeah it's kinda new to me too" (empathize) Say this with a real even keel tone and a slightly knowing sort of smirk, then casually move the conversation forward.

when is she saying this in the convo though? you might want to run a deeper diagnostic why you are getting this sort of response in the first place.
 
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vicknick

Space Monkey
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Oct 12, 2022
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this is similar to an "I'm not that kind of girl" statement. If you are like "yeah but there are always exceptions" then you are buying into her frame.

your example reply subcommunicates that you are trying to convince her that it is a valid way to meet. I would say something more like
"don't worry, you'll get the hang of it" (empathize, with a touch of cockiness)
or
"yeah it's kinda new to me too" (empathize) Say this with a real even keel tone and a slightly knowing sort of smirk, then casually move the conversation forward.
Your response is way better than mine. I always think that my response is not helpful for the frame but can't figure out a better one.

when is she saying this in the convo though? you might want to run a deeper diagnostic why you are getting this sort of response in the first place.
I had experience in both situation where girl say this after my opener, and also at the end of the pick-up when I am going for the number. For the first one, I think it's because the girl is not attracted to me straight away? Can that be fixed? For the latter, probably it's because of the convo.
 

StrayDog

Modern Human
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I had experience in both situation where girl say this after my opener, and also at the end of the pick-up when I am going for the number. For the first one, I think it's because the girl is not attracted to me straight away? Can that be fixed? For the latter, probably it's because of the convo.
if this happens after the opener work on
-your fundamentals
-how you approach
-how you open

I put these in these in order of importance. your opener is way less important than your approach which is way less important than your fundamentals.

this is probably a fundamentals issue. Don't take it as a total rejection though. stick it through a bit longer before you can be sure. Understand that "I don't meet guys this way" is her way of express that the moment is out of her comfort zone. If you handle that well,and calibrate to where she is at without giving away the frame, the interaction can flip in surprising ways. The tension can even potentially be used to build attraction.
 
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DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man
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Well, when you have properly pre-opened and have decent fundamentals I cannot imagine why an available girl would NOT want to meet this way. Or your approach is indeed very off.
 

Teevster

Tribal Elder
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Meh, it is just her way of saying "not interested".

You probably did something to trigger it. What did you open with?

Best,
Teevster
 

vicknick

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Meh, it is just her way of saying "not interested".

You probably did something to trigger it. What did you open with?

Best,
Teevster
I just direct compliment her. Most girls are receptive but some girls like this one just say no thanks.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
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"But isn't it a story you would love to tell your grandkids someday? Grandpa told me he liked my shoes...."

It wasn't that she didn't like your approach, she just didn't like you and you have to expect that when you go out into the wild and inflict yourself on some person minding their own business. You are cold calling doing sales and the product is YOU. You may have been too gamey in your approach for her taste. Maybe try being more indirect, or flush out the ones that are un intersted and go ULTRA direct. But you will have to deal with a lot more blatant NO's....
 

Teevster

Tribal Elder
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I just direct compliment her. Most girls are receptive but some girls like this one just say no thanks.

There you have your answer. You screwed up.
Simple as that. For some reason I kind of suspected you opened this way.


-Teevster
 

Teevster

Tribal Elder
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Which part screwed up?

Direct opener. It is a hit or miss, mostly a miss, although there are ways to increase its odds of success but generally, all things equal, opening with a compliment is bad on every levels.

-Teevster
 
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