Girl says she has a boyfriend from the start, worth the hassle?

[ulrich]

Yesterday I was buying a blouse as a gift for my sister and noticed a very cute blonde, slender girl.
I am starting to do daygame again so I approached and told her that I had seen her and I really liked her style (she was wearing a very nice green jacket) then introduced myself and extended my hand.

She said in a very sweet voice that she has a boyfriend and that he actually was in another part of the store.
I could see her whole face getting blushed behind the mask as she said that.

I got nervous, said sorry I didn't mean to bother and ejected.

I think that was OK but, in retrospective, maybe I should have asked her if her boyfriend thing was serious or stayed a little longer. But I wonder if that would have any point.

In your experience, is it worth it to insist with girls who say they have boyfriends right off the bat?

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@uriel dude! It's worth persisting because "I have a boyfriend" is a knee jerk reaction. Half the time girls will say this and won't mean it, sometimes it's a polite rejection that your approach was off but hanging in set allows you time to work. If you believed and walked away from every girl that told you she had a boyfriend you'd miss out on a lot of opportunities.

I don't know why you apologised? You done nothing wrong! Even if she has a boyfriend or engaged or married you commented on her style. Call it a compliment, you've done nothing wrong. The biggest take away here is your mental model, even if it's not worth persisting it's worth dealing with this better, it'll keep you in a better frame rather than this nervous limping away in rejection.

 

[ulrich]

@uriel dude! It's worth persisting because "I have a boyfriend" is a knee jerk reaction. Half the time girls will say this and won't mean it, sometimes it's a polite rejection that your approach was off but hanging in set allows you time to work. If you believed and walked away from every girl that told you she had a boyfriend you'd miss out on a lot of opportunities.

I agree. My approach was off because I am a little rusty. Don't know why I aplogized... a knee jerk reaction I guess.

So you mean that even if she says she has a boyfriend from the start, still a 50-50 chance, right?

 

[Velasco]

maybe take your own advice

You need to use your intuition.
Do you think she actually has a boyfriend or she is just shy/scared that this is going too fast?

1) If you think she is sincere, you could ask her if her boyfriend is really serious like getting married and all or ask for her number again and say “don’t worry, we’ll just be friends”.

2) If she is scared, you can try telling her, “it’s OK, we’ll invite your boyfriend to join us”.

If there is a real boyfriend and she loves him, you will probably get nowhere anyway but if the “boyfriend” is just an excuse or a guy she is not serious about, these will help you keep moving the conversation.

Anyway, the girl here looks to be a 3b as described in this post. Taken but (mildly) interested. Opening direct will get you 'i have a bf' responses from all, but 1a and 3a girls (those that are highly interested regardless of their relationship status).

However, in the case where her bf is actually there with her, like in this scenario, getting the number will very likely be a dead lead, because you didn't have an opportunity to build enough compliance to solidify that number.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Velasco is spot on, from the write up this was a dead lead but to answer your question is it worth persisting with girls that say I have a boyfriend it is, in the right set up.

I still wouldn't have apologised here, so far your intent isn't to obvious. Your reaction was.

Her: I have a boyfriend he's somewhere else in the store
Uriel: A) that's cool, is he the really jealous type who'll get bent out of shape some other dude is talking to you? Do I need to go on the run? (Said playfully)
B) that's cool, you seem stylish and I think that jacket looked awesome. I'm uriel, I didn't catch your name? (Totally ignored what she said - i still think this one's a dead lead but a good way to handle this)
C) that's cool, I just wanted a girl's opinion. I'm buying a present for my sister and you looked rather stylish. What do you think of... (you weren't obvious in your intent, this now turns it social and gives time to build compliance)
D) how sweet, you've gave him pocket money to go and play on his own (I like to fuck around)
E) (point to a mannequin) is that him? (Again, I like to fuck around)

It's better than limping off being rejected dude

 

[DarkKnight]

@Fluxcapacitor option D. Haha

 

[ulrich]

maybe take your own advice

However, in the case where her bf is actually there with her, like in this scenario, getting the number will very likely be a dead lead, because you didn't have an opportunity to build enough compliance to solidify that number.

@o Lol, man. You got me there.

OK, I guess that’s the answer that I was looking for.
I definitely need more practice so I don’t feel that nervous and shout myself in the foot A couple of weeks should do.

@Velasco is spot on, from the write up this was a dead lead but to answer your question is it worth persisting with girls that say I have a boyfriend it is, in the right set up.

I still wouldn't have apologised here, so far your intent isn't to obvious. Your reaction was.

Her: I have a boyfriend he's somewhere else in the store
Uriel: A) that's cool, is he the really jealous type who'll get bent out of shape some other dude is talking to you? Do I need to go on the run? (Said playfully)
B) that's cool, you seem stylish and I think that jacket looked awesome. I'm uriel, I didn't catch your name? (Totally ignored what she said - i still think this one's a dead lead but a good way to handle this)
C) that's cool, I just wanted a girl's opinion. I'm buying a present for my sister and you looked rather stylish. What do you think of... (you weren't obvious in your intent, this now turns it social and gives time to build compliance)
D) how sweet, you've gave him pocket money to go and play on his own (I like to fuck around)
E) (point to a mannequin) is that him? (Again, I like to fuck around)

It's better than limping off being rejected dude

Thanks, @Fluxcapacitor. I’ll take A and E, those match my personality better.

In the meanwhile, I am gonna stick to situational openers. I can handle myself better with those at the moment.

 

[Fuck This]

First of all you weren't rejected. You went into an untenable situation.

You can still converse with an attractive woman while you shop in the same area. Believe it or not, I've chatted with married and attached women and had them say " I need to introduce you to my boyfriend/husband/son. He would really think you are a cool guy."

Many times when a woman says that to me I'll ask..."is he from around here? I may know him."

My best though was when my girlfriend was showing another woman a group picture and the other woman recognized me and exclaimed "hey that's FT!" . My Gf replied, "yeah, that's my boyfriend"