Girl Will Not Accept The Truth.

[Novacane]

So a girl I hooked up with told me after the 2nd time of hooking up through a text she has feelings for me, although I asked multiple times and attempted to screen knowing if she was capable of handling a monogamous relationship. That isn't the only problem she lied about not being a virgin the first time and came around telling the truth the second time. After receiving the text that she is falling for me I told her in a very polite but subtle way we are looking for different things, she recently contacted me again asking if I was cutting her off I tried explaining that if we continue to talk the feelings she has towards me wont disappear and how being friends does not work. Explained that I am to busy for a girlfriend, and she clearly wasn't capable about what we agreed upon so not speaking would be the best in not hurting her. (My texts did start to get a bit into paragraphs due to the reason she could not accept the fact she would be hurt pursing something that she isn't going to get) After explaining to her my reasons she responded saying that I am hurting her by telling her what I did, I didn't bother to respond did I make the right choice? What is the best way to let a girl know when its time to call it quits, and how to deal with constant pursuit regardless of explanations? Any help would be appreciated! ~ Novacane

 

[PinotNoir]

Have you read this?

There was another GC article that I read not too long ago pertaining to this, but for the life of me, can't remember it.

This is a really tough spot, especially since she was a virgin.

If you continue, you'll lead her on and just end up hurting her even worse.

On the other hand, she was a virgin, obviously really enjoyed you and the experience, and is being flooded with emotion.

You're probably best not contacting her anymore. You've already laid out your story, explained your feelings, and told her that contact will cease. However, if you feel an urge to continue...

I'd suggest meeting her in person alone for one last time. But first, are you 100% sure that you don't want this? If you don't, then plan out what you will say. Really think about it. Figure out the best way to explain yourself without hurting her worse. This is a person with feelings. Imagine if you had just fallen head-over-heels for a girl. There's really nothing you can say perfectly, but to at least meet her in person and explain is something. You want to give her good closure. At the end, let her know that you won't be contacting her anymore so that she can get over you and follow through with this.

Having known her, you will probably know what will be best to say/do. I can only guess, and I think it says something good about yourself to even be asking other people.

An example conversation:

Martin: "Hi"
Becky: "Hi"
Martin: "Thanks for agreeing to meet me... I know it must have been difficult. (It was difficult for me too?)"
Becky: ...
Martin: "First, know that I didn't ask you to meet me because in the back of my mind I have feelings for you or something like that. I don't."
Becky: "Then why would you make love to me? Why would you lead me on? You're a fucking animal, a fucking pig."
Martin: "Becky, please... just listen to me. We had sex because we were both physically attracted to each other. We found each other sexually appealing. It's natural. There is nothing wrong about this."
Martin: "However, ..."
(Maybe say some story here that relates to what she's going through, maybe the first time you had sex yourself, etc. and how you felt the same way, but ultimately emotion blinded you.)
...
Martin: "You are a beautiful woman, but we are not compatible. You dream guy is someone else; someone that wants to be in a committed relationship with you. Someone that..."

blah, blah, blah

I'm kind of tired right now, but just think it through man.

 

[Light]

Here you go:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/dont-hurt-girl-importance-expectations