Girl with a bf

[HHjj]

My friend's flatmate has a bf. I came to know her a few moths ago and all these time its been just a normal Hi-Bye thing. From last week I have been hanging out more with my friend because he is going through his divorce and stuff. This girl knows about these things and a couple of days ago, the three of us planned on watching a movie together. It was all ok, I got phone number this time, she voluntarily gave it to me. We have also met occasionally at the uni during lunch time, but its always been a normal chat. After this movie night, i was again at their place the next day for lunch. She was complementing me a lot and I flirted a bit. She is usually very huggy with my friend and with most people, but this day, out of nowhere, we started cuddling while listening to music. This went on for somethime and then some more freinds came, we were playing games, had some wine and then started cuddling in front of everybody again. Everyone know she has a bf. She started asking about my relationships and such things, but I never kissed her. She mentioned that her bf is taking good care of her and stuff, but we were cuddling just 10 mins before that. Then it was late in the night and I said I was gonna leave, but she really wanted to talk about her relationships. I left anyway, but then I decided to come back, so I called her up and then we sat in the kitchen with a tea and i asked her to talk. This time there was no tension at all, She was sitting far away from me and was tired. The converstaion was kinda ok. She was saying things about destiny and I was kinda against it and acted like she is making sense and agreed with her. She was tired and hinted me to leave. Then nothing happened. I left her place and gave her a hug. I told 'here is the second hug for the day' and she told 'its ok, I like hugs'. Then I was like here you go again and I gave her another hug. I came to know that she was supposed to meet her bf this day, but it did not happen.

I dont know what this means and what I am supposed to do after this. My friend says she is not happy with her bf. Should I ask her what this all meant and try to move forward or do nothing?

 

[Warped Mindless]

She clearly like you and gave you lots of windows in which to make a move.

Moving beyond that, the bigger issue is that you are on here asking about “this one girl.”

I always tell guys that if they have to ask about “one” girl it means they aren’t out meeting enough women. Meeting lots of women and noticing patterns that you come on to ask about is encouraged but asking about one girl in particular usually indicates that the person asking needs to put in more work.

Back to her…. You never did mention your goal with her. What do you want with her because that will greatly determine what you would do.

 

[Skills]

My friend's flatmate has a bf. I came to know her a few moths ago and all these time its been just a normal Hi-Bye thing. From last week I have been hanging out more with my friend because he is going through his divorce and stuff. This girl knows about these things and a couple of days ago, the three of us planned on watching a movie together. It was all ok, I got phone number this time, she voluntarily gave it to me. We have also met occasionally at the uni during lunch time, but its always been a normal chat. After this movie night, i was again at their place the next day for lunch. She was complementing me a lot and I flirted a bit. She is usually very huggy with my friend and with most people, but this day, out of nowhere, we started cuddling while listening to music. This went on for somethime and then some more freinds came, we were playing games, had some wine and then started cuddling in front of everybody again. Everyone know she has a bf. She started asking about my relationships and such things, but I never kissed her. She mentioned that her bf is taking good care of her and stuff, but we were cuddling just 10 mins before that. Then it was late in the night and I said I was gonna leave, but she really wanted to talk about her relationships. I left anyway, but then I decided to come back, so I called her up and then we sat in the kitchen with a tea and i asked her to talk. This time there was no tension at all, She was sitting far away from me and was tired. The converstaion was kinda ok. She was saying things about destiny and I was kinda against it and acted like she is making sense and agreed with her. She was tired and hinted me to leave. Then nothing happened. I left her place and gave her a hug. I told 'here is the second hug for the day' and she told 'its ok, I like hugs'. Then I was like here you go again and I gave her another hug. I came to know that she was supposed to meet her bf this day, but it did not happen.

I dont know what this means and what I am supposed to do after this. My friend says she is not happy with her bf. Should I ask her what this all meant and try to move forward or do nothing?

^ this is a typical behavior of women in the final stages of the relationship, where she is shopping around to see what is out there for better options, so she will string along orbiters and see if the grass is greener in the other side.... Unfortunately, you could see the obvious signs that she is giving you interest, but since you lack the experience you fail to capitalize on it, but get exited of the attention, since you lack experience, you miss windows of opportunities and you end up getting "friendzone"........

Here is a post i made about the different i have a boyfriend types, that could help you.... She is number 2 on that post....

 

[Chase]

Nice to see you back, @Warped Mindless! Been a while!

@HHjj,

She started asking about my relationships and such things, but I never kissed her. She mentioned that her bf is taking good care of her and stuff, but we were cuddling just 10 mins before that. Then it was late in the night and I said I was gonna leave, but she really wanted to talk about her relationships.

That's the layup, she was angling for it hard. Wanted to hook up.

Maybe was pissed at the boyfriend, maybe was tired of him and ready to jump to the next guy.

then I decided to come back, so I called her up and then we sat in the kitchen with a tea and i asked her to talk. This time there was no tension at all, She was sitting far away from me and was tired. The converstaion was kinda ok. She was saying things about destiny

What she means is she backward rationalized you leaving as destiny that she should not cheat on her boyfriend and not hook up with you.

By the time you returned, her mind was made up.

This is why you need to move fast -- tomorrow isn't promised, and escalation windows rarely last!

As for this girl, I suspect it is done with her and you will not get another chance. The ship has most likely sailed.

So... onto the next one...

Chase

 

[HHjj]

She clearly like you and gave you lots of windows in which to make a move.

Moving beyond that, the bigger issue is that you are on here asking about “this one girl.”

I always tell guys that if they have to ask about “one” girl it means they aren’t out meeting enough women. Meeting lots of women and noticing patterns that you come on to ask about is encouraged but asking about one girl in particular usually indicates that the person asking needs to put in more work.

Back to her…. You never did mention your goal with her. What do you want with her because that will greatly determine what you would do.

I do wanna sleep with her and may be more. Now that I am seeing all the replies it seems I can't do it anymore. Do you think there are any come backs/loop holes I could use?

 

[HHjj]

^ this is a typical behavior of women in the final stages of the relationship, where she is shopping around to see what is out there for better options, so she will string along orbiters and see if the grass is greener in the other side.... Unfortunately, you could see the obvious signs that she is giving you interest, but since you lack the experience you fail to capitalize on it, but get exited of the attention, since you lack experience, you miss windows of opportunities and you end up getting "friendzone"........

Here is a post i made about the different i have a boyfriend types, that could help you.... She is number 2 on that post....

So, you concur that this ship has sailed? Have you had such experiences and did you make any come-backs?

 

[HHjj]

She clearly like you and gave you lots of windows in which to make a move.

Moving beyond that, the bigger issue is that you are on here asking about “this one girl.”

I always tell guys that if they have to ask about “one” girl it means they aren’t out meeting enough women. Meeting lots of women and noticing patterns that you come on to ask about is encouraged but asking about one girl in particular usually indicates that the person asking needs to put in more work.

Back to her…. You never did mention your goal with her. What do you want with her because that will greatly determine what you would do.

 

[HHjj]

Nice to see you back, @Warped Mindless! Been a while!

@HHjj,



That's the layup, she was angling for it hard. Wanted to hook up.

Maybe was pissed at the boyfriend, maybe was tired of him and ready to jump to the next guy.



What she means is she backward rationalized you leaving as destiny that she should not cheat on her boyfriend and not hook up with you.

By the time you returned, her mind was made up.

This is why you need to move fast -- tomorrow isn't promised, and escalation windows rarely last!

As for this girl, I suspect it is done with her and you will not get another chance. The ship has most likely sailed.

So... onto the next one...

Chase

I happened to meet her again at my friends place and she was like I am so tired, I spent the night at my boyfriends's palce. She menioned it twice, but I ignored it. I did not give her that much attention this time, but had just a small one to two sentence convo. She was trying to get my attention by wearing super small clothes and trying to reach things at a distance, but I just stayed a bit aloof.

 

[Rain]

This went on for somethime and then some more freinds came, we were playing games, had some wine and then started cuddling in front of everybody again. Everyone know she has a bf. She started asking about my relationships and such things, but I never kissed her. She mentioned that her bf is taking good care of her and stuff, but we were cuddling just 10 mins before that.

Does her boyfriend live with her or is this house/flat is not his home?

 

[HHjj]

He lives in a place thats an hour away from her's.

 

[Rain]

He lives in a place thats an hour away from her's.

Do you know how long they have been together for and how they first met? It's a bit off topic but some might say thats a long, or medium distance relationship they have going there.

 

[Fuck This]

She's on the way out of the relationship and looking for a place to land. You could be her excuse out, or you could continue to be a plate she is spinning. Your best bet is to invite her to visit you at your place where you two will be alone. If she shows up , she's interested...

^ this is a typical behavior of women in the final stages of the relationship, where she is shopping around to see what is out there for better options, so she will string along orbiters and see if the grass is greener in the other side.... Unfortunately, you could see the obvious signs that she is giving you interest, but since you lack the experience you fail to capitalize on it, but get exited of the attention, since you lack experience, you miss windows of opportunities and you end up getting "friendzone"........

Here is a post i made about the different i have a boyfriend types, that could help you.... She is number 2 on that post....

 

[R3M0T3]

just fark her like a pornstar no condom and kick her out of the hotel.

 

[Skills]

just fark her like a pornstar no condom and kick her out of the hotel.

get the fuck out of here with your trolling clown!

 

[Glow]

OP

i think we all understand your frustration with this girls apparently shifty behavior. its frustrating right?

thing is - the tactic is to just reignite the seduction. Atm youre insecure-withdrawn-passified it sounds.

Girls will turn cold, inactive or odd or whatever along seductions often without making sense for whatever reason they have. Could just be tired at the end of the first cuddle session. Could be a body reaction. it is in the nature of the game with ping pongs like these. Like the others outlined shes in the end of her relationship so be weary and play it with that in mind.

A lot of PU guys in the beginning are huge pussies on this area reacting to every little sign of disengagement from the flirt. Been there myself a while back The skilled way to engage with this is that You wanna STAY COOL & adjust a lil. Stay on your seductive track and reignite what you do while adapting to her by changing your tactics a little. Maybe take a step back and turn up the tension eg. I know youre not there playing at this level atm but thats how we do it in here. BE COOL. CALIBRATE. LEAD. The latter is often subtle.

if shes playing attention whore give her mixed signals. This is a strategic choice. I get the sense shes just trying to play up to you and your reaction is hurt or confused-withdrawn or whatever. From this i would just play along but LEAD it, vs await her moves. Note your own reactions as they stop you. The seductive learning is to know the reality around her situation which the guys gave you. And then move things forward on your merit and initiative.

if she wants to talk relationships sense whats shes probing for and potentially topic nudge it into seduction oriented topics. This is a verbal tech fyi some of us use. Bypass whatever resistance she might have hidden in it. Liberate her from her frame of mind if thats what its about.

Use Calibrated coolness. Half the job is owning your reactions. The other half is knowing the reality around girls. And then you learn the skills.