Girls get to have their cake and eat it!

[girlsfollow]

A current girl I am seeing would be very much shocked if I told her that I was going to random bars and buying girls drinks asking them to sit with me and having long extended conversations with them. Yet this is exactly what seems to be fine for her to do (be it its the guys buying her drinks). I'm not insecure about this because I have kept my abundance mentality going. But how do I go about making sure she doesn't think its just her with options without it seeming like I'm desperate to make her jealous - which I'm assuming is how she would see it if I told her I was buying girls drinks and talking to them.

How do we address this fundamental difference in relationships - I don't think many guys are going to get as many girls coming up to them buying the guy drinks....

Especially if this was a very serious relationship - how would you adjust for it then?

 

[Light]

If she is not serious with you, then you don't need to be serious with her.

Relationship is a two way street. You should always treat your lady how you want to be treated. But that doesn't mean she should be spoilt.

If you're really in a relationship, there will be set rules and boundaries. I don't think you're in that yet, and therefore I would carry on seeing other girls.

She doesn't even need to know. You don't have to tell her. But should she asks, just be honest. I would simply say something along this line:

"You're special to me, and the only reason why I'm buying other girls drinks is because you're not around with me. You're the only one capable of stealing my attention and time away from other girls "

 

[girlsfollow]

If she is not serious with you, then you don't need to be serious with her.

Relationship is a two way street. You should always treat your lady how you want to be treated. But that doesn't mean she should be spoilt.

If you're really in a relationship, there will be set rules and boundaries. I don't think you're in that yet, and therefore I would carry on seeing other girls.

She doesn't even need to know. You don't have to tell her. But should she asks, just be honest. I would simply say something along this line:

"You're special to me, and the only reason why I'm buying other girls drinks is because you're not around with me. You're the only one capable of stealing my attention and time away from other girls "

funny thing is I think she thinks we are serious! - she wasnt one on one - it was a group of guys. Would you consider this crossing a boundary? - I want to keep things as non-serious as possible so I didnt say anything

 

[Light]

You really need to get the message accross to her, that you don't want anything serious. Otherwise you will end up having very complicated matters in the future.

In regards to her having a group of guys buying her drinks and flirting with her.. I don't see a problem. If that was my girl, I would consider myself a lucky man as I would be the one in bed with her
Take it as a compliment.

 

[MisterX]

The weirdest thing is that you ask if it's okay to buy other girls drinks and not if it's okay to date other girls and have sex with them..


Not sure why you fixate so much on buying drinks (you used that phrase a lot).


You need to know that buying a girl drinks does not equal sleeping with her and that guys buying your girl drinks does not equal that they sleep with her.



Don't know if your game is to buy them drinks or seduce them, cause those are very different things my friends. At least in my country. Here the only girls that would let you buy them drinks are a) your gf or b) strippers or c) the ones who only want drinks.


And btw from what you wrote it doesn't seem like she wants something serious either. From my experience if a girl wants something serious you'll know for sure. If you have any doubt - then she doesn't want anything serious.


And one last final note: I think it's okay to not be comfortable with your girl being out with a group of guys. Not because you don't trust her but because you know how men are especially when they get drunk and what they are capable of.

 

[Chase]

The weirdest thing is that you ask if it's okay to buy other girls drinks and not if it's okay to date other girls and have sex with them..

I understand the dynamic.

I think why "buying drinks" feels weirder to GF than "having sex" is buying drinks is a very clear "chasing" move.

It feels a little slimy to a girl to know that a guy already has her, then is out there actively working and putting in effort to find MORE girls.

At the same time, sex can "just happen," and doesn't necessarily need to come from GF chasing.

But buying drinks is a clear black-and-white line - he took money out of his wallet and used it to pay for someone else's drink, and there's really only one reason he's doing that one-on-one with a girl. There's no way that buying her another drink "just happened."

It's kind of weird to think that a girl might be more forgiving of you randomly hooking up with another girl than she would of you buying another girl a drink, but this really is the case. The women I've had get angriest at me about things like this weren't angry I was sleeping with other women - they were angry that I was going out of my way to hit bars and nightclubs by myself clearly LOOKING to sleep with other women.

It's the effort to find more sex, not the sex itself, that gets to them most.

Chase