Calls & Texts Girls lose interest EXTREMELY fast

[Renegade]

I don't understand how I can go from having a girl extremely interested, to stopping replying to me...

Like this one - she asked me out, asked for my insta, very high levels of interest.

For context she loves cars. Also she's 18.

I can't take these situations anymore so here's the full convo on insta:


Me: I saw saw some grandma buy condoms, wrf

Her: she will have a nice night haha, or she's buying them for her grandson

Me: I don't wanna know
Me: I'm free on Monday, let's meet up
Me: if you promise me not to talk about old movies

Her: I can't do Monday, I'm free on Wednesday
Her: omgg I feel so old tho!!

Me: where did the good old times go right no but you're not so bad
Me: I'm just watching an old great tv show about cars

Her: which one?

Me: black car that talks, guess

Her: Brave cars?

Me: too violent
Me: Mater's tall tales
Me: hood edition

Her: ahh okay


And silence...

Something like this ALWAYS happens. I'm following the scripts, taking longer to respond, what went wrong??

 

[gameboy]

She told you shes free on Wednesday. Should have fixed a date right then. You basically ignored the escalation window

 

[Renegade]

She told you shes free on Wednesday. Should have fixed a date right then. You basically ignored the escalation window

It didn't seem like she was THAT eager with the date. So I didn't want to look too needy.

If she said "but I would love to see you on Wednesday!!", I would have said yes.

My coach taught me not to offer dates easily, with no effort on her part.

 

[OldGuy]

You had already invited her for Monday, Wednesday was just an alternative, so neediness to schedule then.

 

[POB]

Your structure is wrong.

Optimal texting structure:
open > banther > soft close (if positive response) > hard close
> soft close (if negative response) > banther more > soft close again > hard close

Read this for context (the comments too).
Also even with your off timing on the hard close, she gave you a giant window.
You should've said yes and go straight to logistics, not try to keep the convo going.

 

[Renegade]

Your structure is wrong.

Optimal texting structure:
open > banther > soft close (if positive response) > hard close
> soft close (if negative response) > banther more > soft close again > hard close

Read this for context (the comments too).
Also even with your off timing on the hard close, she gave you a giant window.
You should've said yes and go straight to logistics, not try to keep the convo going.

Would the structure be different for girls from your social circle? I know the girl for a year from school, but only just got her socials. So I thought there could be a little more leeway there..

I wonder how does ANYONE get any date, it all seems really complicated! And mind you I've been reading and practicing these PUA things for over 12 years now. And I still have no clue how to do it right. I would have to not care about the girls in order to get them - that's the only thing I found that works. But in reality I obviously need every girl!

 

[POB]

Would the structure be different for girls from your social circle?

No, always the same

I know the girl for a year from school, but only just got her socials. So I thought there could be a little more leeway there..

Use the structure, it's there for a reason.
Lots of guys did trial and error for texting and all the sucesfull ones have reached the same conclusion...which is freestyling dont work.

I wonder how does ANYONE get any date, it all seems really complicated!

Its not if you follow the structure.

And mind you I've been reading and practicing these PUA things for over 12 years now. And I still have no clue how to do it right.

Follow a proven structure.
And dont try to improvise or skip steps untill you get consistent results for a period of time (I sound like a broken record now).

 

[Will_V]

I don't understand how I can go from having a girl extremely interested, to stopping replying to me...

Like this one - she asked me out, asked for my insta, very high levels of interest.

For context she loves cars. Also she's 18.

I can't take these situations anymore so here's the full convo on insta:


Me: I saw saw some grandma buy condoms, wrf

Her: she will have a nice night haha, or she's buying them for her grandson

Me: I don't wanna know
Me: I'm free on Monday, let's meet up
Me: if you promise me not to talk about old movies

Her: I can't do Monday, I'm free on Wednesday
Her: omgg I feel so old tho!!

Me: where did the good old times go right no but you're not so bad
Me: I'm just watching an old great tv show about cars

Her: which one?

Me: black car that talks, guess

Her: Brave cars?

Me: too violent
Me: Mater's tall tales
Me: hood edition

Her: ahh okay


And silence...

Something like this ALWAYS happens. I'm following the scripts, taking longer to respond, what went wrong??

First of all, according to this script you were the one who stopped replying, not her.

Secondly it's best not to try to set up a date for a specific day and then have her say she can't do it and suggest another. It makes it sound like you're the one reshuffling your schedule for her. That's the whole point of soft closing and asking about her schedule/when she's free.

Thirdly you seem to have a hard time being a closer. When the light goes green you still have to go through, she's not going to do it for you. She wants a dude who knows how to lead things to a climax. Instead you let some random thread take you off the track and into the weeds.

Here's what you should have said:

Me: where did the good old times go right no but you're not so bad
Let's do wednesday then, does 6pm work for you

You can have all the random conversations you want with her on the date or in the afterglow. Before that your job is to get her out with you where you can make things happen.

 

[Renegade]

First of all, according to this script you were the one who stopped replying, not her.

Secondly it's best not to try to set up a date for a specific day and then have her say she can't do it and suggest another. It makes it sound like you're the one reshuffling your schedule for her. That's the whole point of soft closing and asking about her schedule/when she's free.

Thirdly you seem to have a hard time being a closer. When the light goes green you still have to go through, she's not going to do it for you. She wants a dude who knows how to lead things to a climax. Instead you let some random thread take you off the track and into the weeds.

Here's what you should have said:




You can have all the random conversations you want with her on the date or in the afterglow. Before that your job is to get her out with you where you can make things happen.

You're right about the closing thing. However somewhere I've read that you should rack up all the possible interest before you close so that the answer is always an excited YES! So I sometimes ignore windows in order to let the tension build a little more, even if it leads us off the straight path. I think it gives me better chances in the long run!

Basically any step I take towards her is a massive risk. So I like to be as sure as I can about her interest. And here I wasn't too sure. I should assume interest but then again wouldn't that just leas to more rejections? I have to be careful with these as I'm using seduction as a therapy method for my parental rejection trauma. Meaning I need to get as many YESes and ideally no NOs. Like this girl losing interest made me su.cidal before I wrote here for help.

It's very important for my healing that I stay away from rejection, especially when the girl suggested the date in the first place! How can anyone mess it up that much in just 5 messages? What does that say about my value as a man?

 

[Will_V]

You're right about the closing thing. However somewhere I've read that you should rack up all the possible interest before you close so that the answer is always an excited YES! So I sometimes ignore windows in order to let the tension build a little more, even if it leads us off the straight path. I think it gives me better chances in the long run!

Basically any step I take towards her is a massive risk. So I like to be as sure as I can about her interest. And here I wasn't too sure. I should assume interest but then again wouldn't that just leas to more rejections? I have to be careful with these as I'm using seduction as a therapy method for my parental rejection trauma. Meaning I need to get as many YESes and ideally no NOs. Like this girl losing interest made me su.cidal before I wrote here for help.

It's very important for my healing that I stay away from rejection, especially when the girl suggested the date in the first place! How can anyone mess it up that much in just 5 messages? What does that say about my value as a man?

OK so I'm not a therapist but I can tell you for sure that the answer to your healing is not to avoid 'no's' at all costs, but to find a way to remove your sense of self worth from how some random girl responds to you.

I can't really see a way for a guy to learn seduction without getting plenty of 'no's', it's part of the experience, and it's perfectly fine. If she doesn't want you, cool! There's lots of other girls who do. You'll never be able to go out and know with 100% certainty whether she's keen or not. She has to decide what she's looking for and whether you fit the bill, and it varies from one girl to another.

The idea that the average guy (or any guy really) is going out there and getting 100% 'yes's' is nonsense. Look up Paul Janka, he's a good looking dude who was gaming nyc and reckons his stats were about 1/30. That's a lot of 'no's'! We all deal with plenty of them, it's all part of the fun.

And also if some girl you don't really know can tank your emotions like that, imagine what a girl you've invested in can do to you? This is something you gotta straighten out in your head man!

All the best! Again I'm not a therapist, but there's no scenario where letting random girls control your sense of self worth is going to do you any good, so that's what you gotta focus on.

 

[gameboy]

However somewhere I've read that you should rack up all the possible interest before you close so that the answer is always an excited YES! So I sometimes ignore windows in order to let the tension build a little more, even if it leads us off the straight path. I think it gives me better chances in the long run!

And yet you keep losing all the girls (as you said). What does that tell you?

Dude she asked you out. She then gave you a day where she was available. If that's not enough interest then I don't know what is!

 

[Skills]

This is what i call over reach... She agreed to Wednesday and you kept going without acknowledging ...

 

[JasonH]

And yet you keep losing all the girls (as you said). What does that tell you?

Dude she asked you out. She then gave you a day where she was available. If that's not enough interest then I don't know what is!

This is how women show interest! It’s like a woman asks you out and you suggest Wednesday.
Instead of confirming she keeps on talking about cars (you’re more interested in her not cars), you’d be like ‘wtf does this person want to go out or not’ and feel dissapointed

 

[Renegade]

This is how women show interest! It’s like a woman asks you out and you suggest Wednesday.
Instead of confirming she keeps on talking about cars (you’re more interested in her not cars), you’d be like ‘wtf does this person want to go out or not’ and feel dissapointed

Disappointed? Or intrigued and much more happy when they finally ask you out because it was such a rollercoaster?

But what is true is that women show interest in these little ways and I don't like it much because it puts the pressure on us to do the big steps!

 

[Renegade]

And yet you keep losing all the girls (as you said). What does that tell you?

Dude she asked you out. She then gave you a day where she was available. If that's not enough interest then I don't know what is!

I've had girls who, when they told me they didn't have time that day, apologised profusely and offered to buy me meals and wrote like 3 other days they were available. I thought that's the level of interest that we want? It definitely felt better than getting these breadcrumbs of interest some other girls give!

I feel like it's almost disrespectful to not show more interest than the baseline "yes I will go out". What about some enthusiasm?

 

[Renegade]

This is what i call over reach... She agreed to Wednesday and you kept going without acknowledging ...

Because I didn't find her enthusiastic enough. If she wants to go out with me she should be more proactive! Right? Isn't that the right mindset, we are the buyer and she is the seller?

 

[AspiringStoic]

have to be careful with these as I'm using seduction as a therapy method for my parental rejection trauma. Meaning I need to get as many YESes and ideally no NOs. Like this girl losing interest made me su.cidal before I wrote here for help.

Wtf???

Why is no one saying anything about this?? This is a fucking big red flag. This is not to be ignored.

Using seduction as therapy? Feeling suicidal!!?

@Renegade Brother please seek proper professional help. NOBODY here is qualified to help you with this!!

And you will never be able to avoid NOs in seduction. In seduction you will always get more rejections than successes.

And if you are suicidal and have trauma issues, you should not be attempting seduction. Please do seek help asap!

 

[Skills]

Because I didn't find her enthusiastic enough. If she wants to go out with me she should be more proactive! Right? Isn't that the right mindset, we are the buyer and she is the seller?

Uhmm seduction 101 women sre the buyers we are the sellers... If we were the buyers we would not need seduction... Plus you over reached, good game is capitalising on Windows of opportunity... Guys tend to be more invested in the courtship process.. after sex little by little is when we start flipping dynamic... here is the post on over reach for context btw:

A common mistake seducers make (Overreaching) - The Skills Method

Overreaching dictionary definition: To defeat (oneself) by overdoing matters, often by excessive eagerness or cunning: In trying to promote disunity he had overreached himself. Over gaming is when you have … Continue Reading →

www.theskillsmethod.com

 

[Skills]

Wtf???

Why is no one saying anything about this?? This is a fucking big red flag. This is not to be ignored.

Using seduction as therapy? Feeling suicidal!!?

@Renegade Brother please seek proper professional help. NOBODY here is qualified to help you with this!!

And you will never be able to avoid NOs in seduction. In seduction you will always get more rejections than successes.

And if you are suicidal and have trauma issues, you should not be attempting seduction. Please do seek help asap!

Correct

 

[JasonH]

Disappointed? Or intrigued and much more happy when they finally ask you out because it was such a rollercoaster?

But what is true is that women show interest in these little ways and I don't like it much because it puts the pressure on us to do the big steps!

Listen to the other guys, it seems like you're putting an extreme amount of you're self worth on the line with how you're currently approaching seduction (when you don't necessarily have to look at it that way). Get therapy, get some help, and come back to this later when you're in a more healthy place!