Girls Who Say "K", "Mhm", "hmm", "ntn", & Give Short Answers

[Troy]

Sometimes when I text girls ( it doesn't matter if I knew her a long time ago and she is just a friend or I recently met her and I'm setting up a date), they give me short answers. I don't like it.

Example:

Charm : ( sings a song line via voice note)

Troy : You have a melodious voice I love it

Charm : K

Seriously all she says is " K ". " K " is the shortening of " OK ". From what I learnt among my peers when someone says " K " it's a insult. Of course some girls may think nothing of saying it but I don't like it. I don't think it's hard to put a O along with K. I had to call girls out on it before. I won't tolerate such behavior.

I could give more examples but point is I don't like girls giving me short answers. In that example a suitable answer would be " thanks ". Other short phrases are :

Mhmm
Ah
Eeh
Hmm
Ntn

Now in some situations I think some of these are just abbreviations, no worries. However usually I think it's completely unnecessary.

Say I'm on a date and this happens:

Example

Troy : So what do you like doing for fun?

Samantha : Ntn

Troy : ( in my head) ?????

What the heck is that supposed to mean ? Girl you are killing the conversation and making me work twice as hard to keep it going. Give me a sensible answer so the vibe is more natural.

When a girl gives me short answers or terms ( like K ) that may be insulting or show a lack of interest, how should I react ?

Troy

 

[Eternity]

Sounds like she's running non sequitur game on you. The reason is unclear. Could be little investment on her part in the interaction between both of you or trying to make you chase, perhaps because she has a whole bunch of guys asking her the same questions you are asking; making this her default response to you and every one else. Not 100% sure since i don't know her...

Some of these articles on this cover it well:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/11/ ... e-applied/

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/08/ ... l-at-once/

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/11/ ... psis-game/

Edit:
More:
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/11 ... -business/

Shit, the whole search results page on this topic:

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/?s=text+game

 

[Drck]

IMO it all depends on the whole context and how well you know her, but in general - the girl respects you or is highly interested in you, she would make it very clear:

You: what are you doing for fun?
She: I really like ice cream, going to the movies, chilling out in Starbucks and so on. She will give you lots of hints that you can pick up on...
You: I'm actually n my way to Starbucks, meet you at 3?
... If she is interested she will be there


When she says Nothing, or even better: Nth, it rather implies that she is bored... Maybe you don't excite her much... NEXT, unless you want to be entertaining her...

 

[Howell]

This is probably caused by one of two deficiencies in the relationship:

• 1. She sees you as too attainable.
  
  2. She sees you as low value.

#1: is dealt with by being less compliant, less "always there" for her, being more edgy, more of an "asshole", etc. There are loads of articles on this on the main site, and Chase really makes it explicit in his eBook.

#2: This could be for a few reasons. As Drck says, this depends on your relationship.

• Option A: Perhaps you took the lover role too far and she sees no future in you, when what she is looking for is someone who'll stick around for longer, more emotionally fulfilling relationship.
  
  Option B: Perhaps she likes you, but just doesn't know enough about you and how you fit into her life, and she's starting to lean back, as you missed a relationship escalation window in her mind.
  
  Option C: Perhaps you came off as too much a provider/friend too early. In this case, she is pulling out because your behavior is warning her to keep her distance, as you might be clingy and she knows how bad this sort of thing tends to go if she sticks with the relationship despite her better instincts.

Whatever it is, I wouldn't worry too much about it, if I were in your shoes. Not much you can probably do now but a bit of damage control (by figuring out what's the cause and fixing your behavior in the department) and hope you guys can move past it, if you want to keep seeing her. Use it as a lesson to help you manage attainability and your perceived value in future relationships.

---

However, it may be just how she communicates. Some people text/talk like that with everyone, and they don't mean any disrespect by it. If that's the case, maybe do it back in return, or, even better, teach her to communicate better. Raise an eyebrow and ask "Is that how you talk with everyone?" Or better still, just stop associating with people who speak this way to you (except if you're in the early stages of picking them up when they may just be testing to see what kind of value you're offering), as they usually don't respect you very much.

-Howell

 

[Troy]

With the girl that sent me " k" when I complimented her, she was pretty angry at me two days ago. I'll be honest here , I'm talking to her sister and both girls like me. From she found out that I'm texting her sister she started texting like that. Before she would ask me questions and be a lot more caring. I've run into this before . Girls I hurt accidentally, I mean they are extremely delicate . Things like preselection make some girls cool off from me. Or even telling them " hey I'm at a party so I will call you later ". I am guessing it's because I'm coming off as too hard to get. But seriously I got a life besides texting some random/close girl every minute of the day. Sometimes I meet girls who WILL text me from 7:00am right back to 11:00 pm. I'm thinking to NEXT them. Then again most of these girls are actually looking for relationships instead of being shagged by Tom , dick and Harry.

What I need to do is to learn to prevent this from happening in the first place. So with the girl who is still hurt and angry that I'm talking to her sister, how do I get her to calm down and talk "normal "again?

Overall I'm meeting one too many girls that I don't have all day to spend interacting with. How do I get a girl to stop being angry at me? And also let them understand that I don't have my whole day open to them. I can only spend 2 hours a day texting.

Attainability is something I find myself messing up. I'll re read the article on Attainability.

Troy

 

[Fuck This]

I like to joke in a texting exchange: "what are you on a text plan where you pay by the letter? "

If it continues then I'll cut it short. "you seem distracted. I'll catch you later. "

Better yet don't ask questions that can be dismissed with one word answers.

 

[Big Daddy]

I like to joke in a texting exchange: "what are you on a text plan where you pay by the letter? "

If it continues then I'll cut it short. "you seem distracted. I'll catch you later. "

Better yet don't ask questions that can be dismissed with one word answers.

Yeah, that'd be me some time ago too. But I don't know to which extent this is effective over text.

First, because it sounds like it's overly important that she responds the way you expect her to. Can you picture Chase or Franco reacting like this?

This past weekend: got girl's number on Thursday, texted on Friday and she ignored/shit tested me (I suspect) until late afternoon on Sunday. I was so fucking glad I didn't say anything before that.

And then second, which was the main problem, is that most of the time your jokes will be misinterpreted over text. It's too damn hard to convey what you want without voice tones and a playful smile. I often came too aggressive or too dismissive because of this.

I don't like to engage in long text conversations (even though I have a tendency to do so), but if you can't get her out and talk face to face, I'd have a shot resolving this whole thing over text since it's a little bit more complicated than she being cold because she doesn't like you.

EDIT: Look for the most recent article that Chase wrote on girls that are cold over text. He says he changed his stance and now generally calls the girl when she's acting like a bitch.

 

[Troy]

I like to joke in a texting exchange: "what are you on a text plan where you pay by the letter? "

If it continues then I'll cut it short. "you seem distracted. I'll catch you later. "

Better yet don't ask questions that can be dismissed with one word answers.

Yeah, that'd be me some time ago too. But I don't know to which extent this is effective over text.

First, because it sounds like it's overly important that she responds the way you expect her to. Can you picture Chase or Franco reacting like this?

This past weekend: got girl's number on Thursday, texted on Friday and she ignored/shit tested me (I suspect) until late afternoon on Sunday. I was so fucking glad I didn't say anything before that.

And then second, which was the main problem, is that most of the time your jokes will be misinterpreted over text. It's too damn hard to convey what you want without voice tones and a playful smile. I often came too aggressive or too dismissive because of this.

I don't like to engage in long text conversations (even though I have a tendency to do so), but if you can't get her out and talk face to face, I'd have a shot resolving this whole thing over text since it's a little bit more complicated than she being cold because she doesn't like you.

EDIT: Look for the most recent article that Chase wrote on girls that are cold over text. He says he changed his stance and now generally calls the girl when she's acting like a bitch.

Thanks guys but see now TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ADVICES. That ain't a good thing man.. I read Chase's article on precedent setting . What I understand is that when a girl does something I dislike I should set the precedent that ITS NOT OK.

Secondly I'm starting to feel that NEXTING girls is overrated on girls chase. What I mean is :

Girl ignores text = Next
Girl doesn't text the way I like = Next
Girl flakes on first date = Next
Girl is disrespectful = Next ( I obviously agree with this one, disrespect isn't to be tolerated

The point I'm making is that I THINK SETTING THE RIGHT PRECEDENT IS BEST. Girl is late on first date ? Set the precedent so she doesn't keep coming late . Girl ignores text? Set the precedent so she knows it's not OK else she will get NEXT IF IT CONTINUES... Etcetera

Big Daddy and TwoRocky, I honestly don't know who's advice to follow so I'll just try out both so far I did what TwoRocky suggested . Here is the text conversation:

Charm: ( she sends a long broadcast message with 1-27 options)
Send to All your friends and see what they think of you.

1) I love you
2) Your sweet
3) Fit
4) I'd fuck you
.....on to 27

Troy : ( I send the same message back to her because I couldn't bother answering plus I preferred she doing so first)

Charm : K
You were supposed to answer

Troy : You send " K " again . You seem distracted. I'll talk to you tomorrow

Charm : K do whatever you want
Yea

That's it yesterday evening . It's now 12:15am so I can talk to her now . But I'll wait till morning. Possible problems with this approach is :

A. She now knows my weakness and will try using it against me more often

B. Now I MAY have to show ( not give ) more value for her to value my time more and thus knock it off

Pros to this approach :

A. She knows I have standards and won't tolerate disrespect or put up with silly time wasting behavior

B. I now get to practice letting go of ANY girl who doesn't respect me enough to communicate better.

I'd really love to see one common answer . I guess I'll just have to test and see what works for me.

Troy

 

[ray_zorse]

By saying "tomorrow" you committed yourself ahead of time, with no corresponding investment on her part. "catch you later" or "some other time" would be more appropriate here. Then I suggest to ignore for 10 days. Let it marinate a little. You can re-engage after 10 days but I would do this ONCE, if she's regularly letting 10 days go by without re-engaging after you've made intent clear then she's not interested or wants you to chase. Even re-engaging ONCE sets a really poor tone and IMO makes her likely to flake, show up late, or otherwise disrespect you. Problem is with these girls, they think I am an average chasing Joe, they don't realize I am being ultra forgiving and bestowing upon them a second chance to experience my awesomeness since they fucked up their first shot. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished, hahaha.
Ray

 

[Troy]

Ray,

Sup bro ? Lol

I just realized its the same thing TwoRocky said " catch you later ". Well what's done is done so I'll just won't text her tomorrow. Guaranteed though I know she will text me tomorrow.

I turned off read receipts and last seen on whatsapp. However she will still see that I'm online yet purposely ignoring her messages ( no I am not going to leave whatsapp because of this ...i just think someone will suggest I do so ).

She usually comes texting me with same old " hey ". Nothing interesting to say really. That's just her personality, she's not very talkative in person either.

However forget her for a moment. I think a " template / process is the best thing to run with for future interactions.

Suppose the girl apologies or comes back talking nicer in her first text should I still ignore for 10 days? Or text her again ? ( PS some of these girls are just my text girls / friends from high school so I'm not rushing to go meet, we meet all the time).

Under what conditions do I drop that rule? And in what other situations do I stop communicating with a girl ?

PS. Since it's a similar question, I rather get a IDEA right now so I don't HAVE to write a next post with a SIMILAR situation.

Troy

 

[ray_zorse]

Reminds me of a dude who I used to be friends with. It would go like this

Him: (calls me on the phone)
Me: hi it's Ray
Him: it's (his name)
Me: hey man
Him: hey
Me: how are you?
Him: okay man
Me: (not sure what to say here) yeah.. so what's happening anyway?
Him: dunno
Me: (wondering what the fuck he's calling me about)
Him: bit quiet here (suggesting he wants to hang out)
Me: oh... (pause... mentally groan a bit) well, come on over if u want (finally cracked and took pity on the poor cunt)
Him: no transport
Me: oh... (a familiar scenario... groan a bit more) I suppose I could pick u up from the station
Him: no money
(long pause)

I am sure you can see where this is going... this value sucking leech wants me to drop everything and drive like 40min to pick him up, then bring him over to mine so he can smoke MY weed and never shout me back (luckily I do not smoke anymore and I certainly do not miss scabs like him)... but not only that, HE WANTS IT TO BE MY IDEA... and because I wasn't comfortable with tension or being an asshole or busting on someone, I would fall for it every time. FUCK THAT FOR A JOKE!!!

Next time someone texts you "hey", remember my little story above, and realize they are trying to get you to invest. Text back "?" or something even lower effort than theirs. In full this would roughly translate to "what the fuck do you want and why are you bothering me with your inane bullshit". Try it brother!

Ray

 

[Troy]

Lol that's a funny story. That conversation would make me very uncomfortable if I were in your position Ray. I was on whatsapp awhile ago. I should still be sleeping because it's currently 5:27am and still dark. Now whatsapp has voice calls. The same girl called me a few minutes ago and hung up quickly. I figure it's only her way to say " Troy I'm online so message me ". Lol yeah right, you were rude to me yesterday girl. I expect her to do more work than call my phone and try to bait me to text her lol.

Thing is though how far should I push it? I don't want to take a medium rudeness from her and push it way out of proportion? If she texts me later / call ( well she will) should I then respond? If she has something sensible to say? I kinda have way too much empathy for people sometimes .

Edit : So Ray, she " bait " called me. I guess the right thing I did was not texting back . I'll do right as you say. So I won't text her till she texts me later. Thanks

Troy

 

[ray_zorse]

Yeah, well actually the suggestion of texting "?" was suggested by somebody on the boards (maybe NarrowJ or Franco) as a way of dealing with bait-calls like you described. I figured it could also apply to text of "hey". But yeah this bitch seems a bit pathological, I would ignore for a bit, but if she texts with something REAL... like for instance the kind of text a seducer would send "hey there it's Ray... hope u got that shopping home okay! i cooked the noodles like we discussed, it wasn't too bad... what ru up to now anyway?"... that actually has some CONTENT or INVESTMENT... then of course, REWARD the investment by texting back... like if I received the example message described I might text back something like "yeah was pretty heavy but I got it there no thanks to you, you big tease watching a movie now"... which is slightly shorter but rewards the investment of the initial message with some banter and smileys. That's the idea. As a final real-world example, when I was dating Leticia before she became my girlfriend, for some reason she got in the habit of texting me around 9pm each night "G9 Ray" or similar... I was totally thrilled about this because it showed a lot of investment on her part. So I was careful to ALWAYS reward with a nice text.
Ray
Edit: The 10 days rule is if she doesn't initiate. If she does then you should usually respond (with a delay), to reward her, but treat it on a case-by-case basis.

 

[Lawliet]

This is probably caused by one of two deficiencies in the relationship:

• 1. She sees you as too attainable.
  
  2. She sees you as low value.

-Howell

Or maybe
3. not interested?

Lawliet

 

[Howell]

This is probably caused by one of two deficiencies in the relationship:

• 1. She sees you as too attainable.
  
  2. She sees you as low value.

-Howell

Or maybe
3. not interested?

Lawliet

From a certain perspective that could make sense, but when we dig deeper and ask why the girl is not interested, it comes back to lack of attraction. And to understand and measure attraction, some of the more advanced modern PUAs use a model called VAC, or VAI.

I've traced this back to David DeAngello, but I doubt he was the first one to think of it. Chase also has a version of this, which he talks about in his eBook. His version is pretty much the same as DeAngello's, with only minor differences.

To put it briefly, VAC stands for Value, Attainability, and Compliance. Chase prefers to talk about Investment instead of Compliance though, as Investment sounds more effort neutral, and fits better with the core philosophy of "don't chase girls" as a strategy for getting girls.

This model is based on a core assumption for our school of thinking: If girls aren't interested, there is a reason for it, and there's something you can do to effect that reality -- not only on a case by case basis, but, and more importantly, on a wider lifestyle transformative basis. This is one of the fundamental assumptions that make a site like Girls Chase possible.

-Howell