Good start bad finish

[Fury887]

So i recently started using Tinder and im back on the dating scene. I matched with a chick that i actually liked so we start messaging, I get her number and setup a time for a date(last night). We meet up at a hotel that has a lounge and start the getting to know each other and what not, 30m or so in the conversation I went in for the kiss. After some time and a few drinks I ask her to move to a nearby bar/club place on the water. We get there and get a couple more drinks and sat down on a bench. We start making out and everything is going pretty damn good(touching, passionate kisses) but this is where the fuck up comes, since i saw we were escalating I ask her if she wanted to go somewhere quieter and id show her some dance moves, I told her lets go back to the hotel(i think she was imagining the lounge area) and she agreed. When we get there I book a room and we head up she seemed a little surprised. Get to the room and starts well, kiss/touching/dancing but every little while she would slightly push me off her and sit on a bench away from the bed so i'd grab her and continue..finally i saw her expression change and said i think im gonna go so i ask if she is uncomfortable or put off she replied no so i said I understand and asked if she had someone on the way to pick her up..she replied with no i'll get an uber so i told her i'd take her home(she lived pretty close)...on the drive over i acted normally granted I was pissed at my self for wasting a paid room and then once we get to her parents house we kiss and said good night.

What did i do wrong? Only thing I've come up with is that i should have taken her to a nearby park or somewhere we'd be alone and not the hotel room where it would make her feel slutty. I like this chick and would like to see her again, should I wait for her to text me or should i wait a day or two and send her one suggesting we should get together again?

 

[Smith]

When we get there I book a room and we head up she seemed a little surprised. Get to the room and starts well, kiss/touching/dancing but every little while she would slightly push me off her and sit on a bench away from the bed so i'd grab her and continue..finally i saw her expression change and said i think im gonna go so i ask if she is uncomfortable or put off she replied no so i said I understand

too aggressive here. Just back off and said "sorry I'm so naughty " then keep talking to her. If she's not into the escalation, i.e. pushing you off, it's a sign she's not comfortable yet.

 

[Fury887]

I realized I was too aggressive at the end, she seemed pretty well into me until I took her up to the room. I was thinking of waiting a day then text her tomorrow with something like "hey! I'm not usually such a bad boy(she mentioned i was bad a few times), I would love to see you again...when are you free to get together and grab sushi this week?" She's big into thai and asian food...dinner would be something low key and i could show im not just trying to get a one night stand with her.

 

[ray_zorse]

At this point it's hopeless, a failed escalation like this really kills your value and makes her think "hey he's not the bad boy he pretended to be", also all the tension and mystery has gone since she knows exactly what will happen if she isolates with you now. Her thought process, after a failed escalation, is "OMG I cannot believe I nearly slept with that creepy guy, I dodged a bullet there!! OMG how can I have (nearly) been such a slut! I am so ashamed of myself!" Obviously this is total bullshit since in reality her emotions at the time were excited and positive, but she easily rewrites the past to suit her current emotions and this then "becomes the truth". Delete number and ignore. She made you waste a hotel room, she disrespected you by treating you like a creepy guy. Do not reward such behaviour. Your only fuckup was a minor comfort and calibration issue you can easily correct next time. Anyway, you can't now court her after portraying yourself as a bad boy fast mover, it's incongruent and thus creepy and unattractive. Your only hope is to completely ignore her and act like you don't care, since this is congruent with your image (a bad boy fast mover has lots of girls and sex, and is too busy to pursue an unpromising avenue like this one).
Ray

 

[Fury887]

At this point it's hopeless, a failed escalation like this really kills your value and makes her think "hey he's not the bad boy he pretended to be", also all the tension and mystery has gone since she knows exactly what will happen if she isolates with you now. Her thought process, after a failed escalation, is "OMG I cannot believe I nearly slept with that creepy guy, I dodged a bullet there!! OMG how can I have (nearly) been such a slut! I am so ashamed of myself!" Obviously this is total bullshit since in reality her emotions at the time were excited and positive, but she easily rewrites the past to suit her current emotions and this then "becomes the truth". Delete number and ignore. She made you waste a hotel room, she disrespected you by treating you like a creepy guy. Do not reward such behaviour. Your only fuckup was a minor comfort and calibration issue you can easily correct next time. Anyway, you can't now court her after portraying yourself as a bad boy fast mover, it's incongruent and thus creepy and unattractive. Your only hope is to completely ignore her and act like you don't care, since this is congruent with your image (a bad boy fast mover has lots of girls and sex, and is too busy to pursue an unpromising avenue like this one).
Ray

Thanks Ray for commenting, you say it how it is! TBH in reality im not usually that aggressive, we both had a few too many drinks and I think that's where my usual thought process went out the window. I know it's all part of the learning experience but it sucks when you screwup with one you really like. Any suggestions after ignoring her for a few days, I would like to give it one last shot.

 

[Fury887]

Also on the way to her house she seemed comfortable, she caressed my beard and we made it out it wasn't just a pop kiss. Perhaps I'm over analyzing the situation but wouldn't she be cold and unapproachable otherwise?

 

[ProblemSolving]

What tanked this date was a poor game plan. Your plan was basically meet at a bar at a hotel, talk, get her horny, BUY A ROOM, and then escalate to sex. Why plan a date where you have to buy a room to get laid? There are so many ways you could have made this easier.

I told her lets go back to the hotel(i think she was imagining the lounge area) and she agreed.

She agreed because she thought, like I did reading this, that you were already staying at the hotel. It would have be so quick and easy to just go back to your suite if you were already staying there. Instead, you have to buy a room which puts enormous pressure on her to put out because now you've invested a considerable amount into getting laid which also lowers your value in her eyes. Now, this can work if she's super horny and DTF, but if that was the case you've easily banged her in your car or park nearby. Next time, have a game plan that doesn't involve buying a room to get laid.

As it stands now, it's most likely dead in the water, but it doesn't hurt to see if you can get her out again. Call her and try to arrange another date. Just keep your expectations VERY low.

 

[Fury887]

What tanked this date was a poor game plan. Your plan was basically meet at a bar at a hotel, talk, get her horny, BUY A ROOM, and then escalate to sex. Why plan a date where you have to buy a room to get laid? There are so many ways you could have made this easier.

I told her lets go back to the hotel(i think she was imagining the lounge area) and she agreed.

She agreed because she thought, like I did reading this, that you were already staying at the hotel. It would have be so quick and easy to just go back to your suite if you were already staying there. Instead, you have to buy a room which puts enormous pressure on her to put out because now you've invested a considerable amount into getting laid which also lowers your value in her eyes. Now, this can work if she's super horny and DTF, but if that was the case you've easily banged her in your car or park nearby. Next time, have a game plan that doesn't involve buying a room to get laid.

As it stands now, it's most likely dead in the water, but it doesn't hurt to see if you can get her out again. Call her and try to arrange another date. Just keep your expectations VERY low.

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I didn't put a lot of thought into the game plan and you're totally right as your reply makes perfect sense. My idea of the date going was meet at the lounge(not because of the hotel but there weren't many good options in that area) see how it goes then move to another bar then escalate to a park. This is the first time I've actually got a room on a first date. She was pretty horny at the second spot which in my mind at the time gave me that bright idea which I got way ahead of myself and the situation but yea it if I would have just found a park nearby or somewhere to chill in the car it would have went good. On a few previous dates I did the coffee/tea shop then moved to bar/lounge and escalate from there.

I sent her text yesterday saying "Hola (name), I was pretty naughty sat night, perhaps too naughty. I'd love to see you, when are you free during the week to grab a bite?" She replied normally as she did before the date and we're setup to meet on Thursday night. I'm not expecting much so as of now my game plan is to meet for dinner then go somewhere nearby like a park or boardwalk. What do you guys think? Should I change the dinner to something else? I know she likes outdoor stuff and scenery. This is my first experience trying to remedy a fuckup and need to make up for in value with this chick.