- Joined
- Mar 14, 2013
- Messages
- 172
Met a girl on Thursday at a gas station as she was finishing refueling. Not my best approach, but set up a coffee date for Tuesday since she lives in the city where I work. She said I was adorable (not what I'm going for), and I replied, very slowly, "Well, so are you." Super cute girl.
Texting:
me 2036: Hey Jessica, always nice to meet a new friend
. -E
-Next day-
her 608: Good morning E! Sorry this is a late response I had a few things to do and passed out early for work! I agree it's always beautiful to meet a new friend! coffee next week; can't wait to get to know you! Have an amazing day E!
me 1119:
-Sunday-
her 1948: Hey E we still on for Tuesday coffee?
me 2027: Of course looking forward to it
-Monday-
me 1048: Jessica, slipped my mind that I have a meeting tomorrow at 11. Ok if we meet at 10?
her 1634: Yah sorry my schedule is hectic with work so they might ask me to sub tomorrow but prob not so yah that's fine! Starbucks? And where do you work in San Mateo so it's close to you? Sorry late response my day has been filled and constantly oging
me 1653: (address), not very familiar with the city. Got a favorite spot?
her 2201: I'm a Starbucks girl or there is this awesome cafe downtown I think on third ave- called kaffehaus I believe idk do you work in forster city Im confused! Lol Ok anyways ill be up I'm off at 8 am till 12 so Im down to meet at 10 just tell me where. Sorry busy day!! See you tomorrow!
me 2217: Wow you write some long texts! Can't help but picture you reciting them to me super excited and animated, talking really fast. And you definitely seem like a Starbucks girl. Le'ts try the one at 921 E Hillsdale. Looks like its by the water so if were lucky we might get a nice view.
her 2222: Haha yup you pretty much have the jist of me down already! And I can TOTALY see you legit googling Starbucks and looking at the map and seeing blue and picking it based on the location. Anyways wayyyyy past my bedtime! Goodnight! See you tomorrow!
me 2224: Good night Jessica.
We meet up, I'm 10 minutes late. As we order she suggests we go outside and sit by the water, and I say "That's exactly what I was going to say. We think alike." She tells me how she's a teacher's assistant and a story about how one time she wore her sweatshirt backwards and her kids pointed it out to her. I qualified her with, "It's cool that they have a teacher that's a real person, and not someone who's above them who doesn't make mistakes." She then qualifies herself, saying she's down to Earth. That's one thing I did really well with her is qualifying. Qualifying and cold reading. Starting via text I made some correct assumptions about her, and continued to cold read on the date, so successfully that she said soon after we sat down,
her: We've spend a whole of 4 minutes together and I feel like you already know everything about me. I don't know if I like this.
me: Why not?
her: Because I don't know if I want everyone knowing everything about me.
me: It's nice. Most people are closed off - you're much easier to make a connection with. Don't change.
She asked what makes me happy, and after answering I turned it back to her. She replied that it was her kids: seeing a light bulb go off in their heads and when they surprise her with their capabilities. I couldn't come up with the right words to qualify her here, so I tried to do it non-verbally with my look. I think it came off well. Also qualified her that it's great that she found her passion and that she knew what she wanted to do with her life from a young age.
Lots of light kino, deep diving, and teasing. I felt like I teased her a bit too much, and sometimes it's hard for me to tease without being insulting, but she laughed at most of it. At the end of the date she seemed slightly offended by something I didn't mean to be offensive, so I tried to recover with, "Jessica, you keep taking things as if I'm making fun of you, but I'm not," with strong eye contact until she smiled and asked, "What?" I smiled back.
Slight sexual innuendo - as we were walking towards the water she said we can't take a walk because she's wearing a dress. I asked why. her: Because it'll fly up and I don't want everyone to see what's underneath. Me: Just me. She laughed, "just you." After we sat down I asked if she wore that dress just for me, and she said yes, she's not allowed to wear dresses to work. A bit later I took her earlobe (and I swear she turned her ear towards me and relaxed as I did it, almost like a cat when it enjoys being petted) and asked if her earrings were just for me, too. No, those she does wear to work. "You're very observant."
She said I was mysterious and that she felt there was more to me than just being mellow.
As we split up she said to call her if I want to get coffee again, or not. I held eye contact and said, "I had a good time, Jessica." She left the parking lot before I did, but I passed her on my motorcycle, so at a light I turned back and blew her a kiss. It was hard to see for sure, but I think I spotted a big smile.
After the date texting:
me 1121: Jessica, I had fun today. You're very relaxing to talk to (counterintuitive right?) (We had talked about how she's super energetic and stressed out and I got some good teasing and connecting out of that one. But after sending this I felt like I'd insulted her again)
her 1930: Very counterintuitive. I apologize for the late response I've been on the go since I've seen you. I mean I hope you had fun because I did hope to get the chance to see you again soon!
me 2045: Stop apologizing every time you respond! I'll text you next week after you return and we'll try to get together again. Getting back Sunday? Ps good night.
her 2114: Yes Sunday at midnight though! So during the week and Friday im more available. And sweet dreams. Lila tov. (I'm a phonetic learner) (That was "good night" in Hebrew since she's been to Israel and I'm Israeli)
me: 2123: Text you Monday then, have fun.
She's out of town through the weekend. So I'll text her Tuesday. Now logistics will be tough; she lives in San Mateo, which is about 30 minutes from my place, with her parents. And she's super busy and works in the morning. So her place isn't an option and my place will be inconvenient also because it's far for her, she can't spend the night without her parents knowing, and she'll have to be back early in the morning. Thinking I'll invite her on a weekend during the day to cook a meal with me at my place.
Great girl; I like her better than any other girl I've dated. And absolutely beautiful.
Lesson: even if you're not at the top of your game on the approach and even if it doesn't look like the girl is super excited, she still might be. Follow the process.
Texting:
me 2036: Hey Jessica, always nice to meet a new friend
. -E-Next day-
her 608: Good morning E! Sorry this is a late response I had a few things to do and passed out early for work! I agree it's always beautiful to meet a new friend! coffee next week; can't wait to get to know you! Have an amazing day E!
me 1119:
-Sunday-
her 1948: Hey E we still on for Tuesday coffee?
me 2027: Of course looking forward to it
-Monday-
me 1048: Jessica, slipped my mind that I have a meeting tomorrow at 11. Ok if we meet at 10?
her 1634: Yah sorry my schedule is hectic with work so they might ask me to sub tomorrow but prob not so yah that's fine! Starbucks? And where do you work in San Mateo so it's close to you? Sorry late response my day has been filled and constantly oging
me 1653: (address), not very familiar with the city. Got a favorite spot?
her 2201: I'm a Starbucks girl or there is this awesome cafe downtown I think on third ave- called kaffehaus I believe idk do you work in forster city Im confused! Lol Ok anyways ill be up I'm off at 8 am till 12 so Im down to meet at 10 just tell me where. Sorry busy day!! See you tomorrow!
me 2217: Wow you write some long texts! Can't help but picture you reciting them to me super excited and animated, talking really fast. And you definitely seem like a Starbucks girl. Le'ts try the one at 921 E Hillsdale. Looks like its by the water so if were lucky we might get a nice view
.her 2222: Haha yup you pretty much have the jist of me down already! And I can TOTALY see you legit googling Starbucks and looking at the map and seeing blue and picking it based on the location. Anyways wayyyyy past my bedtime! Goodnight! See you tomorrow!
me 2224: Good night Jessica.
We meet up, I'm 10 minutes late. As we order she suggests we go outside and sit by the water, and I say "That's exactly what I was going to say. We think alike." She tells me how she's a teacher's assistant and a story about how one time she wore her sweatshirt backwards and her kids pointed it out to her. I qualified her with, "It's cool that they have a teacher that's a real person, and not someone who's above them who doesn't make mistakes." She then qualifies herself, saying she's down to Earth. That's one thing I did really well with her is qualifying. Qualifying and cold reading. Starting via text I made some correct assumptions about her, and continued to cold read on the date, so successfully that she said soon after we sat down,
her: We've spend a whole of 4 minutes together and I feel like you already know everything about me. I don't know if I like this.
me: Why not?
her: Because I don't know if I want everyone knowing everything about me.
me: It's nice. Most people are closed off - you're much easier to make a connection with. Don't change.
She asked what makes me happy, and after answering I turned it back to her. She replied that it was her kids: seeing a light bulb go off in their heads and when they surprise her with their capabilities. I couldn't come up with the right words to qualify her here, so I tried to do it non-verbally with my look. I think it came off well. Also qualified her that it's great that she found her passion and that she knew what she wanted to do with her life from a young age.
Lots of light kino, deep diving, and teasing. I felt like I teased her a bit too much, and sometimes it's hard for me to tease without being insulting, but she laughed at most of it. At the end of the date she seemed slightly offended by something I didn't mean to be offensive, so I tried to recover with, "Jessica, you keep taking things as if I'm making fun of you, but I'm not," with strong eye contact until she smiled and asked, "What?" I smiled back.
Slight sexual innuendo - as we were walking towards the water she said we can't take a walk because she's wearing a dress. I asked why. her: Because it'll fly up and I don't want everyone to see what's underneath. Me: Just me. She laughed, "just you." After we sat down I asked if she wore that dress just for me, and she said yes, she's not allowed to wear dresses to work. A bit later I took her earlobe (and I swear she turned her ear towards me and relaxed as I did it, almost like a cat when it enjoys being petted) and asked if her earrings were just for me, too. No, those she does wear to work. "You're very observant."
She said I was mysterious and that she felt there was more to me than just being mellow.
As we split up she said to call her if I want to get coffee again, or not. I held eye contact and said, "I had a good time, Jessica." She left the parking lot before I did, but I passed her on my motorcycle, so at a light I turned back and blew her a kiss. It was hard to see for sure, but I think I spotted a big smile.
After the date texting:
me 1121: Jessica, I had fun today. You're very relaxing to talk to (counterintuitive right
?) (We had talked about how she's super energetic and stressed out and I got some good teasing and connecting out of that one. But after sending this I felt like I'd insulted her again)her 1930: Very counterintuitive. I apologize for the late response I've been on the go since I've seen you. I mean I hope you had fun because I did
hope to get the chance to see you again soon!me 2045: Stop apologizing every time you respond! I'll text you next week after you return and we'll try to get together again. Getting back Sunday? Ps good night.
her 2114: Yes Sunday at midnight though
! So during the week and Friday im more available. And sweet dreams. Lila tov. (I'm a phonetic learner) (That was "good night" in Hebrew since she's been to Israel and I'm Israeli)me: 2123: Text you Monday then, have fun.
She's out of town through the weekend. So I'll text her Tuesday. Now logistics will be tough; she lives in San Mateo, which is about 30 minutes from my place, with her parents. And she's super busy and works in the morning. So her place isn't an option and my place will be inconvenient also because it's far for her, she can't spend the night without her parents knowing, and she'll have to be back early in the morning. Thinking I'll invite her on a weekend during the day to cook a meal with me at my place.
Great girl; I like her better than any other girl I've dated. And absolutely beautiful.
Lesson: even if you're not at the top of your game on the approach and even if it doesn't look like the girl is super excited, she still might be. Follow the process.
