So today,
It was the second day of a 7 days adventure where the goal is to work on my fundamentals again, to see if I can bring them up.
Though I already worked on them last year, not only i enjoy doing so, but I also noticed that when sometimes it happens to see myself recorded in video, the first thing I'm paying attention to is voice tonality and facial expression... like me , women too judge you on how you do those things , mainly, but do so in a subconscious way.
My problem had always been I never worked on JUST one thing at a time before, because of fear of missing out.
So instead of saying, ''i'm gonna just think about how slow I speak and on how sexy is my voice when i talk, without worrying about losing frames and similar stuff'', i d go.. ''hey, but if i focus just on that I'm gonna lose a frame!'' WRONG! the truth is, while i should keep an eye on the whole picture, to improve i have to not care about everything else I choose not to focus on.
So great for me to know that if you want to improve your voice, that's the only thing you have to think about for that day/ outing.
Now, what i did was , though working well on the voice, i used that as an excuse not to approach new women.
I only INDRECTLY approached a group of american women at the grocery and got some great response, but instead of trying to stay in the convo i excused myself out.
Here's how the conversation went ( they were very receptive, so good job! )
me: laughs hearing them talking about food.. ( a pre open because then , i looked away)
them: ahahah
me: what are you looking for ? ( said in a slowly sexy voice, very good job there)
them: ( really receptive) this kind of sauce... we don't know if they have it here!
me: mmm.. i see what you mean.. no we don't have it ready, but it's pretty easy to make..
them: oh yeah, they told us yesterday in the restaurant..
me: yeah u can make it easily, u just have to mix ricotta cheese with tomato sauce.. can you cook??
them: ( not hearing my question) we call it pasta with vodka but its probably no vodka there!!!
me: well, actually, there is some.. but if you wanna cook it i suggest you to try it without vodka first ( hint of a smile)
them: ahahah definelty!
me: well it was cool talking to you...
everything was going well but since i opened indirectly It didn't seem natural - and it wasn't - to ask for the number. plus, there was not enough compliance yet.
Should have deep dived them with smtg like: hey , what was the true reason why you came here studying? ( assumption are better than standard question)
and from there, see if i could make a double deep dive.. 2 question ( then say, mmm, so you're here for adventure? in a warm tone - kind like - that's cool!) let them answer yes and then, one statement ( cold read on how open minded they look and on how many people who go studying abroad claim they are but actually aren't ) then one other question and - interrupting them in the middle getting the number... that would have been great... I'm gonna use it the first time...
The good thing was that , i was super focused on my voice. But next time , remember ( question, question.. qualify, screen - do you really mean it when you say you're here to adventure and experience? cause a lot of people say it but don' t do it then!) let them answer and super qualify... then question.. then number!!!
Went street stopping later and talked to 3 people that i already know , managing to do a good - not excellent , good- job at focusing on speaking more slowly.
What i notice, is that I should also add more pauses.. That's what tomorrow I'm gonna be focusing on , and I'll have to approach at least 3 - 5 NEW women. In the end, even if your fundamentals sucks , give me james bond who approaches one woman a month and a not sexy guy who approaches 7 a day , and I'll pick the second option all my life.
Improving your fundamentals is NOT an excuse to stop doing everything else that you were doing before.
Not an excuse to act like a pussy and giving yourself excuses, instead of keep on facing fears, like the best in the world , and approach 6 - 8 women per outing.
Time is limited.. why the fuck don't you get it?! we all die. We do. Can't waste time like that.
Tomorrow i will have to talk to 3 - 5 new women and work on adding more pauses.
Remember: you will still get rejected, no matter how cool you will look. So go ahead, be sexy and get rejected! work on your fundamentals but don't be afraid of being rejected because no matter how great you look, it is still a number game.
So , work on adding pauses and on stopping at least 3 - 5 NEW women.
Another thing: when seeing the girl you're seeing, tomorrow night, focus on speaking slow! really, wait for her to challenge you and call you out on how slow you are speaking and on how fake it looks.. that will mean your doing well!!!
face those fears..
Then: prepare a list of cold reads you can try on that girl, and a series of question you can make her...
It was the second day of a 7 days adventure where the goal is to work on my fundamentals again, to see if I can bring them up.
Though I already worked on them last year, not only i enjoy doing so, but I also noticed that when sometimes it happens to see myself recorded in video, the first thing I'm paying attention to is voice tonality and facial expression... like me , women too judge you on how you do those things , mainly, but do so in a subconscious way.
My problem had always been I never worked on JUST one thing at a time before, because of fear of missing out.
So instead of saying, ''i'm gonna just think about how slow I speak and on how sexy is my voice when i talk, without worrying about losing frames and similar stuff'', i d go.. ''hey, but if i focus just on that I'm gonna lose a frame!'' WRONG! the truth is, while i should keep an eye on the whole picture, to improve i have to not care about everything else I choose not to focus on.
So great for me to know that if you want to improve your voice, that's the only thing you have to think about for that day/ outing.
Now, what i did was , though working well on the voice, i used that as an excuse not to approach new women.
I only INDRECTLY approached a group of american women at the grocery and got some great response, but instead of trying to stay in the convo i excused myself out.
Here's how the conversation went ( they were very receptive, so good job! )
me: laughs hearing them talking about food.. ( a pre open because then , i looked away)
them: ahahah
me: what are you looking for ? ( said in a slowly sexy voice, very good job there)
them: ( really receptive) this kind of sauce... we don't know if they have it here!
me: mmm.. i see what you mean.. no we don't have it ready, but it's pretty easy to make..
them: oh yeah, they told us yesterday in the restaurant..
me: yeah u can make it easily, u just have to mix ricotta cheese with tomato sauce.. can you cook??
them: ( not hearing my question) we call it pasta with vodka but its probably no vodka there!!!
me: well, actually, there is some.. but if you wanna cook it i suggest you to try it without vodka first ( hint of a smile)
them: ahahah definelty!
me: well it was cool talking to you...
everything was going well but since i opened indirectly It didn't seem natural - and it wasn't - to ask for the number. plus, there was not enough compliance yet.
Should have deep dived them with smtg like: hey , what was the true reason why you came here studying? ( assumption are better than standard question)
and from there, see if i could make a double deep dive.. 2 question ( then say, mmm, so you're here for adventure? in a warm tone - kind like - that's cool!) let them answer yes and then, one statement ( cold read on how open minded they look and on how many people who go studying abroad claim they are but actually aren't ) then one other question and - interrupting them in the middle getting the number... that would have been great... I'm gonna use it the first time...
The good thing was that , i was super focused on my voice. But next time , remember ( question, question.. qualify, screen - do you really mean it when you say you're here to adventure and experience? cause a lot of people say it but don' t do it then!) let them answer and super qualify... then question.. then number!!!
Went street stopping later and talked to 3 people that i already know , managing to do a good - not excellent , good- job at focusing on speaking more slowly.
What i notice, is that I should also add more pauses.. That's what tomorrow I'm gonna be focusing on , and I'll have to approach at least 3 - 5 NEW women. In the end, even if your fundamentals sucks , give me james bond who approaches one woman a month and a not sexy guy who approaches 7 a day , and I'll pick the second option all my life.
Improving your fundamentals is NOT an excuse to stop doing everything else that you were doing before.
Not an excuse to act like a pussy and giving yourself excuses, instead of keep on facing fears, like the best in the world , and approach 6 - 8 women per outing.
Time is limited.. why the fuck don't you get it?! we all die. We do. Can't waste time like that.
Tomorrow i will have to talk to 3 - 5 new women and work on adding more pauses.
Remember: you will still get rejected, no matter how cool you will look. So go ahead, be sexy and get rejected! work on your fundamentals but don't be afraid of being rejected because no matter how great you look, it is still a number game.
So , work on adding pauses and on stopping at least 3 - 5 NEW women.
Another thing: when seeing the girl you're seeing, tomorrow night, focus on speaking slow! really, wait for her to challenge you and call you out on how slow you are speaking and on how fake it looks.. that will mean your doing well!!!
face those fears..
Then: prepare a list of cold reads you can try on that girl, and a series of question you can make her...
