Openers "Grounding" didn't work for me: too long and convoluted

[lux7]

The whole sentence "I've just seen you walking here and just had to come and say that.. " didn't go well for me.

It might also be also because I usually also start with "do you speak english" which makes it even longer, but overall the grounding thing didn't seem to work well for me.

Even harder to make it work when both of you are walking.
Almost impossible to make it work when you're walking on a busier than average street and you didn't stop her: here it becomes an eternity and you look like you're not in touch with the reality of things where both of you are on the go and long drawn speeches are unnatural.

So I've cut it shorter and it's much better: she has a chance to weigh in quicker and it's less work from your side.


Just my experience of course.

 

[Slippin' Jimmy]

So you just go straight to the direct compliment? E.g. "Do you speak english? You have the most captivating walk i've seen all day - I'm Jimmy" ?

 

[Richard]

As with all skills; use what works for you, and cast aside what doesn't.

Grounding didn't work for you so you ditched it; that's perfectly acceptable and if it benefits you then more power to ya buddy!



-Richard

 

[lux7]

Yes, and there's the worst situation possible which Chase actually recalled trying it in the past in an old article which I can't find now: when she's on the phone.

That's a situation you never want to even start speaking before you made sure she's stopped talking on the phone and is now giving you full attention.
And even then, shorter is better.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Slow down with it.

"Hey!"

(she turns)

"So...I saw you walking back there..." (turn around and point where you saw her; this diffuses scary stranger tension, too)

"And.." (turning back to her)

"I just thought, that you..." (look her up and down)

"looked INCREDIBLE in that dress" (inflex the compliment, the let the sentence "sit" and just look at her and smile")

Straight fucking dripping after an open like this.

Hector

 

[lux7]

True man, the pauses and poise with which you start make the world of difference.

It's a perfect case scenario which I haven't found to be always applicable though, in many situations you'll look out of touch with reality with a long drawn out sentence -ie. lot of people jostling around two of you, loud environment, she hurried etc.- .

Those are the times to cut it to the chase and use your body more than your words (ie. to stop her, move her out of the noise/mess etc.).