- Joined
- Apr 9, 2024
- Messages
- 40
There is a behaviour of cool people which I have noticed. This same behaviour, I also noticed, I began to do automatically once I became cool. It comes almost out of necessity.
The behaviour is, when somebody is trying to get your attention, you acknowledge them with a warm but brief regard. Your eyes say, "Hey man, I heard you. Thanks for chiming in. You are appreciated." but the rest of you says that you don't have time right now to respond. It is not that you are trying to ignore them, or don't care for them, but that you really are very busy with something else and you can't respond immediately. Basically, you look at the person with affection, but keep on doing what you are doing, not acknowledging his request for attention any further.
When this happened to me, I experienced a few emotions, which I'll try to describe now. At once you feel validated - the cool guy acknowledged me and made me feel appreciated. But at the same time, you feel a little devalidated. As if you should have known that he was busy in the middle of his thread with other people. You got snubbed, not at all rudely, and feel a little silly for having tried. It affirms his place as cooler and above you in the social hierarchy, in a subtle way which the average person won't realise. You are at once rewarded for trying to get the guy's attention, and solidified in your place below him. This all happened inside my own mind before I learned pickup, and I expect it happens in other people's minds.
This has useful application to group dynamics.
It will happen to you that you are in a group set, and multiple people are vying for your attention. You will be that cool guy whom people want to talk to. When you are in the middle of a thread, people will try to get your attention and ask you questions. If you don't have time to respond to that person, you should acknowledge them with this warm glance. They'll be quiet, feel a little validated/devalidated, and continue to treat you as higher value. Girls will see this dynamic - that you are the one in demand, that you don't have enough of you to go around, that you are polite and alpha about it, and will become attracted. The guys who feel beta to you will continue to feel beta to you, girls will notice that, and become attracted.
(Inner game: this glance actually comes from a genuine desire to not ignore the person asking for your attention. You genuinely want to show him that you're listening, even if you're not willing to stop your thread.)
- Tryst
The behaviour is, when somebody is trying to get your attention, you acknowledge them with a warm but brief regard. Your eyes say, "Hey man, I heard you. Thanks for chiming in. You are appreciated." but the rest of you says that you don't have time right now to respond. It is not that you are trying to ignore them, or don't care for them, but that you really are very busy with something else and you can't respond immediately. Basically, you look at the person with affection, but keep on doing what you are doing, not acknowledging his request for attention any further.
When this happened to me, I experienced a few emotions, which I'll try to describe now. At once you feel validated - the cool guy acknowledged me and made me feel appreciated. But at the same time, you feel a little devalidated. As if you should have known that he was busy in the middle of his thread with other people. You got snubbed, not at all rudely, and feel a little silly for having tried. It affirms his place as cooler and above you in the social hierarchy, in a subtle way which the average person won't realise. You are at once rewarded for trying to get the guy's attention, and solidified in your place below him. This all happened inside my own mind before I learned pickup, and I expect it happens in other people's minds.
This has useful application to group dynamics.
It will happen to you that you are in a group set, and multiple people are vying for your attention. You will be that cool guy whom people want to talk to. When you are in the middle of a thread, people will try to get your attention and ask you questions. If you don't have time to respond to that person, you should acknowledge them with this warm glance. They'll be quiet, feel a little validated/devalidated, and continue to treat you as higher value. Girls will see this dynamic - that you are the one in demand, that you don't have enough of you to go around, that you are polite and alpha about it, and will become attracted. The guys who feel beta to you will continue to feel beta to you, girls will notice that, and become attracted.
(Inner game: this glance actually comes from a genuine desire to not ignore the person asking for your attention. You genuinely want to show him that you're listening, even if you're not willing to stop your thread.)
- Tryst
Last edited:
