Not sure I can tell you anything new here, but maybe some of my mindset will help.
Again, take my advice with a pinch of salt. I never got into this to spend evenings going to clubs with the purpose of practising cold approach or seducing mega hot girls. So while I'm happy with my current girlfriend, some guys on here could look at her and say she is not gf quality, but she is my idea of gf quality,
So first, you have to really consider what gf quality actually is. I thought this
post by
@DoWhatWorks was a great read and I really like the idea of what you are really looking for is someone attractive and compatible with you, and is a good way of thinking about what a quality gf actually is, so definitely read this
I made the mistake previously of having this long list of criteria a girl had to meet (e.g had to like partying), and she also had to be very, very attractive. In reality my standards were way too high, and I didn't actually know what I wanted. I probably fell into the trap of having a certain level of abundance and thinking I was good enough with girls that when I came across this 'ideal woman', I could get her - and then even if I did get her, who was to say we would be compatible. As it was, I've dated a couple of really hot girls and just found them boring and not enjoyed it. I've dated a bit of a party girl, and was basically walked all over. So I experienced a bit of a mind set shift earlier this year where I just decided to be more open to different women.
Some might say that the girl I'm dating now is maybe not the hottest girl I've gone out with, and when she showed me her profile on another app, I would have said we not compatible (she listed her interests as reading, baking, swimming, gardening, basically all this wholesome shit , whereas I'm something of a party guy, drink and do a fair amount of drugs, love live music and raves). But it works, and for the first time in ages, I actually feel something and actively want to spend time with this girl. Read the DWW post for more, but basically really look at the girl for what she is, rather than a list of certain criteria.
Secondly, its repeated ad infinitum, but good fundamentals/lifestyle and a good profile goes a long way - you aren't going to get conventionally attractive girls without this on apps. I'm a reasonably good looking guy, 6 ft 2, regarded by my friends as very well dressed (but maybe not by this forum based on previous threads I've seen), and live a pretty fun life - and it comes across in my profile. So many girls have told me they matched with me because they could tell I wasn't too serious and was fun to be around. This may fly in the face of some PUA advice (e.g don't over provide good feelings, be seductive), but it goes back this line from DWW post.
As seducers we get so good at creating attraction that we think we can then just get girls that are naturally just what we like but I don't think this side of game is "controllable"
The compatibility point is real - and girls on dating apps are searching for that. You can be the sexiest motherfucker in the world, but a lot of girls on apps (Hinge at least) aren't looking for dick, they are looking for a relationship.
Finally, the process was just going on lots and lots of dates to find a good fit. This was fun, but also a slog, but there isn't really a substitute for it. I never text girls loads before dates, typically ask them out pretty quickly, and just see if we vibe in person. Luckily, I can always find enjoyment and fun in anything, so even if the girl isn't my type, I could still have a good time (and hooked up with a number of these)
Anyway , that was a rambly answer that I wrote while in a boring meeting. Hopefully it helps, but if you do nothing else, just make sure you read the DWW post I linked
