Handling rejection from social cirlce (colleague / crush)

[JayLR]

Handling rejection from social circle (colleague / crush )

Hi guys,

Question : Yesterday I went to a salsa event to see the girl I've been working on for a year now (read also my other thread).
What happened: she was crushing on me first, I didn't make a move. Then I was crushing on her, and I noticed she was closed.
I let some months split in between there but we saw eachother at work (just glancing, sometimes talking small).

Yesterday I danced with her and she taught me some dancemoves, we had lots of fun and she wanted me to bring her home ( I suggested and she allowed)

I flirted with her during the evening and asked at the start of the walk if she wanted to come to my place. She said no, I said can't blame a guy for trying, she said it's her decision to say "yes or no".
When we were at my app I asked her again, she said no again, and I asked to walk her home, she kinda of angerly biked away.

I didn't have the room to kiss her this evening (but tried to move her more private), so she wouldn't rly move with me. This was an indication of her low interest ofcours...

The question now :

How do I recover from this? (if I'm still able to)
Do I no longer spend time on her and just wait for her to give me the indication at work she still wants me and then answer on that while working on other girls
Or tell her that I wont give up so easy? ==> persistence
What can I expect after this situation?

I know you will probably tell me just move on.. But this one is special (yes pedestial before now less..)
I have other girls in the meanwhile also and I'm a lot more abundant then I was before.. (it's not like she is taking over my entire world but still she could be "the one")

Note that I am sure she had feelings (and maybe still has a little bit..)

Thanks for the feedback

 

[Frost]

she was crushing on me first, I didn't make a move. Then I was crushing on her, and I noticed she was closed.

I've been in this situation many times. She was crushing on you, you didn't make a move so she autorejected or something. Then you went into chasing her, which is not good. Now In this case if you were to suddenly stop giving her attention, you might notice that she will try to warm up to you again. Why? Simply because women love attention, and when you take it away from them they try to get it back, to secure you in the position where you want them and they're keeping you hooked. 2 years ago I've been in a similar situation with a classmate of mine (it was a huge screwup especially considering how much she actually liked me and wanted me to make a move). Anyway after I got in the chasing phase I asked her out one day and she turned me down (the "oh but we're friends"), I was like okay and I stopped giving her attention. The same night there was like a party for the whole class, and she was there too. Naturally when she got there I barely said hi and spent the time with my friends having fun etc... and each time I looked around, I could see her looking at me from where she was. There's still a lot more to the story but that's to give you an idea (and no she hadn't changed her mind or anything, just wanted my attention).

She's special? There are a lot of special women out there. So my advice is stop trying to game her, because the more you try the less results you're going to get. Next time you see her just be friendly and don't give her a lot of attention like you used to, and eventually things will go back to normal.

 

[HellAtlantic]

If you work with the girl just be lucky things aren't awkward. I know you don't want to hear to move on but you gotta move on, especially with social circle (which is what office girls are). You see them all the time, which is why you have to be even more vigilant about moving on. Chasing doesn't make girls want you more, it lowers your value. Save whatever value you have left with her and just treat her like one of your other coworkers. Use this experience to learn from your mistakes. Being around her all the time at work just makes you think you'll always have a shot because she's always around but trust me the attraction is over for her towards you, you didn't make a move and she's moved on and friendzoned you. Yes she wants your attention but if she's a decent looking girl I assure you there's another orbiter waiting in line to shower her with attention. She won't miss you. Quickly move things to "yes we're coworkers and friends" and keep it there. You don't need drama at work and don't need her ruining your rep with other girls.