- Joined
- Oct 11, 2015
- Messages
- 138
Another near miss. LR-
5'10'', born and raised in conservative Texas, originally from Taiwan.
Met in a NY starbucks during a DG sesh where I was standing in the undefined line for the bathroom and she asked me where the line is. I run my usual stack on her, we exchange numbers. She texts me great recommendations for NY (a huge list!) and by coincidence, is visiting my city too soon...
She's here for work, yesterday last day here. Meet at 7:30pm, we have coffee, then walk around a bit the beautiful city. I must say it really suits itself for evening walks. Do light sex talk, it hits very well. She's type of girl that's very bubbly and interrups SOT's by asking the question back quickly but excitedly. I get where she lives - logistically brilliant. Thanks, tcompany! Had made sure to touch her briefly as often as I could get away with.
Pulling is hard. Have to add urgency, plausible deniability by legs hurt so want to sit down somewhere warm (either hers or I go back home). She waffles around indecicively for at least 15 minutes where I have to persist, give her space, and just focus on being sexy and smooth. Where I really make sure to be sincere in everything I say, which I feel is very important in these moments. Her main objection: This is new to her, she doesn't to ONS's! Of course I talk about not labeling things, going with the flow and seeing where things lead, seizing opportunities in life. And how much I enjoyed hanging out with her and would like to continue to do so. Whatever she's comfortable with.
At no point do I mention anything about sex at all.
Finally she's at the level of giving me squinted eyes with slightly turned head, so I take the lead and have us 'just walk there'. Just persist through slight resistance and off we are walking. Success!
Well we walk past her hotel and just because I'm perceptive and notice her look at it just that one slight moment too long, and the following walk being more directionless, do I catch her and have us stop.
Then same shit. New objection - she doesn't even know me really. Stranger danger. Yes I didn't deep dive her so much, her personality made it harder to.
So address it again, pacing and leading, saying how it's not the trivial details about a person that matters, but rather the important ones - such as what she loves to do, her passions, ideas, and interests. Such that she enjoyes dancing a lot, and... yes. Dancing. In the moment I can't remember anything else lmao.
Well she gives me the convinced squinted eyes and I know it hit. Pacing and leading constantly is really powerful.
She's standing closer to me and I'm locked in (had us move away from street). Final push is me putting my hand on her shoulder and lightly rocking her, going "come on. Let's go. Come on," softly and sincerely. Actually I feel like normal persistance until the breaking point is good, and then switching it up at decisive moment is a good tactic. Rather than have old tactic get stale.
Plus she was getting increasingly cutesy cute awaaa silly, so I kind of matched that at the end to pace her better. She finally gives in. She also has to use the bathroom, which worked in my favour.
We pass reception and I cross my fingers they don't say anything and get to her hotel room. She goes to bathroom and then I do.
I sit down on bed, she goes to sit by lone chair and I know that's not happening.
"Help me up," I say, stretching out my hands. She stops, turns and takes my hands and pulls slightly.
I pull her onto the bed.
"Nooo," she goes, but remains there. Surprisingly absolutely no resistance to kissing.
But massive, massive barrier to taking off her clothes. Her pants come off but that's it. I end up naked and she strokes me while I finger her and she grinds and humps me, but that's it. I try the new tactic I'm field testing for LMR, which is weasel phrase future projecting.
"In the hypothetical scenario we fucked," I ask breathlessly (deliberate), "Would you be on top... or bottom?"
She thinks about it (goal achieved), and would be on the bottom. Heh.
She's saying how she's fine as is, and at some point says "if we meet again on the streets, we fuck then!" Yeah no chance of that happening, I tell her a such and try to leverage the fact she essentially agreed to fucking me in the future. To no avail.
Well I have a last train home slightly after midnight, and we got to hotel room at 11:15pm. I feel like sleeping over would've given me a reasonable chance at overcoming the LMR, but I have a flight to Spain the next day and want to go home for the night. So have to leave eventually.
When I have to leave she's very aggressive with me, pushing me against the wall to kiss and everything.
Conclusion
Overall, what could I have done differently? Not so sure. Probably better sex talk and deep diving. I'm thinking non-judgemental frames were not enough in this case (with her telling me in bed she's low sex drive), but more so strong sexual prizing frames. Like 8 orgasm routine. Hmm, now that's a great learning!
Still a great experience and lesson in persistance and escalation.
Onwards!
-Dev
-Dev
5'10'', born and raised in conservative Texas, originally from Taiwan.
Met in a NY starbucks during a DG sesh where I was standing in the undefined line for the bathroom and she asked me where the line is. I run my usual stack on her, we exchange numbers. She texts me great recommendations for NY (a huge list!) and by coincidence, is visiting my city too soon...
She's here for work, yesterday last day here. Meet at 7:30pm, we have coffee, then walk around a bit the beautiful city. I must say it really suits itself for evening walks. Do light sex talk, it hits very well. She's type of girl that's very bubbly and interrups SOT's by asking the question back quickly but excitedly. I get where she lives - logistically brilliant. Thanks, tcompany! Had made sure to touch her briefly as often as I could get away with.
Pulling is hard. Have to add urgency, plausible deniability by legs hurt so want to sit down somewhere warm (either hers or I go back home). She waffles around indecicively for at least 15 minutes where I have to persist, give her space, and just focus on being sexy and smooth. Where I really make sure to be sincere in everything I say, which I feel is very important in these moments. Her main objection: This is new to her, she doesn't to ONS's! Of course I talk about not labeling things, going with the flow and seeing where things lead, seizing opportunities in life. And how much I enjoyed hanging out with her and would like to continue to do so. Whatever she's comfortable with.
At no point do I mention anything about sex at all.
Finally she's at the level of giving me squinted eyes with slightly turned head, so I take the lead and have us 'just walk there'. Just persist through slight resistance and off we are walking. Success!
Well we walk past her hotel and just because I'm perceptive and notice her look at it just that one slight moment too long, and the following walk being more directionless, do I catch her and have us stop.
Then same shit. New objection - she doesn't even know me really. Stranger danger. Yes I didn't deep dive her so much, her personality made it harder to.
So address it again, pacing and leading, saying how it's not the trivial details about a person that matters, but rather the important ones - such as what she loves to do, her passions, ideas, and interests. Such that she enjoyes dancing a lot, and... yes. Dancing. In the moment I can't remember anything else lmao.
Well she gives me the convinced squinted eyes and I know it hit. Pacing and leading constantly is really powerful.
She's standing closer to me and I'm locked in (had us move away from street). Final push is me putting my hand on her shoulder and lightly rocking her, going "come on. Let's go. Come on," softly and sincerely. Actually I feel like normal persistance until the breaking point is good, and then switching it up at decisive moment is a good tactic. Rather than have old tactic get stale.
Plus she was getting increasingly cutesy cute awaaa silly, so I kind of matched that at the end to pace her better. She finally gives in. She also has to use the bathroom, which worked in my favour.
We pass reception and I cross my fingers they don't say anything and get to her hotel room. She goes to bathroom and then I do.
I sit down on bed, she goes to sit by lone chair and I know that's not happening.
"Help me up," I say, stretching out my hands. She stops, turns and takes my hands and pulls slightly.
I pull her onto the bed.
"Nooo," she goes, but remains there. Surprisingly absolutely no resistance to kissing.
But massive, massive barrier to taking off her clothes. Her pants come off but that's it. I end up naked and she strokes me while I finger her and she grinds and humps me, but that's it. I try the new tactic I'm field testing for LMR, which is weasel phrase future projecting.
"In the hypothetical scenario we fucked," I ask breathlessly (deliberate), "Would you be on top... or bottom?"
She thinks about it (goal achieved), and would be on the bottom. Heh.
She's saying how she's fine as is, and at some point says "if we meet again on the streets, we fuck then!" Yeah no chance of that happening, I tell her a such and try to leverage the fact she essentially agreed to fucking me in the future. To no avail.
Well I have a last train home slightly after midnight, and we got to hotel room at 11:15pm. I feel like sleeping over would've given me a reasonable chance at overcoming the LMR, but I have a flight to Spain the next day and want to go home for the night. So have to leave eventually.
When I have to leave she's very aggressive with me, pushing me against the wall to kiss and everything.
Conclusion
Overall, what could I have done differently? Not so sure. Probably better sex talk and deep diving. I'm thinking non-judgemental frames were not enough in this case (with her telling me in bed she's low sex drive), but more so strong sexual prizing frames. Like 8 orgasm routine. Hmm, now that's a great learning!
Still a great experience and lesson in persistance and escalation.
Onwards!
-Dev
-Dev
