- Joined
- Oct 11, 2015
- Messages
- 138
Date with HBVampire, romanian girl. Beautiful blue eyes and dark hair.
We meet at the train station of her village. It's on the other side of the lake where I live (with the city in the middle, edge of the lake). It's a ~15min train drive from the city. I originally proposed in the city, and she agreed but also proposed this. The risk was me putting more effort, but I decided to play for the win and going near where her place is so I have a plan for a pull.
I arrive and she's 10 minutes late. When she comes she's apologetic. She's even cuter than I remember her, so that's good
We're lucky and it's not raining. But it might soon, so she asks where we should go. I say we can either go to the lake or to her place (right nearby) and she gives me a funny look. Not comfortable going directly to hers - the lake it is.
She's a very vibrant and fun girl, teetering on the edge of crazy. She walks to my left, and when we cross the street and she ends up on the other side, she goes back to my left because she started that way. Totally spontaneous. Easy to move around though, which I do, often.
My banter is good but not as impactful as I want it to be.
E.g. when I see the boats near us, I spin it off as a narrarive of her stealing a boat and having a pirate adventure. Make it US, as a future projection next time!
She's all over the place and constantly testing and trying to reassert control. I haven't dealt with this type of test yet, where she tries to set dominant frames like 'I'll tell you. Maybe.'
I kinda wave it off and tease her on it('Oh yeah? Make me'), but definitely worth looking into on how to handle most effectively.
She's also super well traveled in Europe, and thus I assume experienced.
We eventually sit down at the lake and I try to deep dive her. She, however, answers things like follows:
Me: So what is it you do?
Her: Lots of things. Sleep. Eat. Talk.
That's fun, but she's adamant about it.
I only found out way later.
What brings her to Switzerland? Everything. What surprised her the most? She's not sure.
Usually, it's a question of mine she doesn't answer, followed by a counter question she wants answered. Which I'll sidestep.
I reframe and counter upcoming objections by making them bigger obstacles. "Yeah, we would never work out," I'd say, with the 'obstacle' as the reason. Sometimes just for a random reason for fun. This is dangerous, however, I just realized: The idea of setting up hurdles is for her to work and break through them! So they aren't real objections, and she knows it and wants to prove it. So if I feel it isn't a real objection, only then can I use it like this.
At some point she asks me how old I am. "Guess," I tell her. She goes for 23. "Almost," I say, debating whether to say 22 or 24 (+1 year range, per recommendation Chase) if she persists. She doesn't. (I'm 20).
What she loves to so hits well and she tells me about her passion for many things, especially dancing.
All in all, she's a very open girl who loves and seeks variety. She walks a new way to work every day...
I qualify her on it and she back to me.
At some point she says I'm 'manipulative' and it feels like I'm 'hiding something'. Never heard that before, but never had a girl like her and it seems my way of dealing with it was uncalibrated.
Still, it screams ATTAINABILITY PROBLEMS and as we continue walking since she's cold, I open up about myself. This is what she needs, and she opens up herself.
Not so long after, after great banter and her opening up about wanting to create her own medieval-dance, we're near hers. I go for an attempted pull and tell her we should warm up at her place (having seeded after her telling me she has a great view, and me saying she needs to show me and her agreeing), but she's not really in and says 'she doesn't know me yet'.
Hmm, alright.
I suggest we go walk around then, which we do. It's dark, windy, and raining... and only my small umbrella to shelter us from the elements. Perfect. One reason why I love this weather so much.
We walk close to each other and the next half hour is filled by banter, fights with the wind and rain, and battles for frame control. I have my arm around her as I lead this Romanian beauty around random streets of my choosing.
She'd e.g. at some point stop walking after it got too windy down a particular road, saying we should go back. She'd be cold. "Sure," I'd say, "but lets go around this thing first," and then have us do it the way I intended. This way I could still do the best move (not going where she'd get cold, leading us through best streets), but do it on my terms.
I could directly measure he level of current compliance by seeing whether she says the word I want to hear in Romanian, or if she tells me to 'speak German with her'.
I seed pulling some times, especially with her view.
When she's 'cold' we walk back to hers. We do a big walk around the block before arriving.
"Do you watch movies?" she asks out of nowhere.
When after I tell her we should watch a movie together now, she doesn't go for it though. "Next time, then" I eventually say.
I tried the line "It feels like we've known each other forever," which works surprisingly well.
Eventually I hug her goodbye and catch my train.
-I held frame and didn't give in to hers, even if it wasn't the smoothest - the core was there.
-I made good use of the weather to touch and lead her.
-I practiced cold reading and qualified her.
-Better use of future projecting. Use my advantage of being able to make extremely spontaneous, unpredictable conversation (and thus more interesting) far more smoothly and in my favour.
-Have topics to fall back on that I know how to lead to the SOT's and gambits I want.
-Use gambits!!! I originally wanted to test purity gambit again, but it completely slipped my mind... know them far better and think of how to introduce it. Ties back to previous point. Also, have an idea of where to take it after.
-PUSH MORE FOR THE PULL!!! I did try 3 times over the course of the date, but especially the last time I realized I could've done it better. Painting a picture and feelings would've helped my chances tremendously...
So perhaps:
"Hey, speaking of movies - we should watch one now! Enjoy the warmth of the inside while the wind rages outside. We can have a stimulating drink, making us feel warm inside... I'll even let you pick the movie."
Not perfect, but definitely better than the boring version!
-Maybe I fell too much into fun, unpredictable mode. This is better than boring, but the next step is to refine it into making it a skill of drawing people into my world where they can be creative, spontaneous and adventurous, where they won't be judged... so a liminal bubble. What this means is expressing it more in the form of future projections and getting compliance by getting her to immerse into the narrative I paint... at least I'll focus on those two aspects first.
I also identified several points to work on. How to proceed from date to pull is now the next sticking point looming in the distance (I still have a lot to work on the first transition points anyway!).
The date was on Thursday. I'll message her again on Tuesday with a movie date proposal. She'll decline, counter-propose another walk... and I don't know what to do then.
At least that's my feared prediction. Nothing lost, though, and if she agrees then I have far better chances of getting intimate with her
Cheers,
-Alex
We meet at the train station of her village. It's on the other side of the lake where I live (with the city in the middle, edge of the lake). It's a ~15min train drive from the city. I originally proposed in the city, and she agreed but also proposed this. The risk was me putting more effort, but I decided to play for the win and going near where her place is so I have a plan for a pull.
Logistics, her checking when she has time, us agreeing, her postponing after all because she wasn't 'feeling well' but offering two alternatives for the following week.
Me: Hey, hope you're great again! Wanted to ask whether tomorrow still works for us
Her: hey hey
Her: I'm great thanks
Her: hope you too
Her: still on for tomorrow
Her: but looks like it's gonna rain tho
Her: at least that's what Google says
Me: Great Well, the world has a different beauty to it when it rains. Guess we'll have to see...
Me: I can probably after 5:45pm
Her: haha, yes
Her: that's fine
Me: Perfect. I'll let you know beforehand when I arrive
Her: [14:11, next day] Her: oddly strange, outside looks like it's late autumn, one of those autumns when as kid was coming back from school happy it was done for the day
Me: Good observation... the feeling of freedom is indeed in the air
Her: nah, I think it's just in us
Me: Even better then It seems I arrive at 17:35 at [place]
Me: Hey, hope you're great again! Wanted to ask whether tomorrow still works for us
Her: hey hey
Her: I'm great thanks
Her: hope you too
Her: still on for tomorrow
Her: but looks like it's gonna rain tho
Her: at least that's what Google says
Me: Great
Well, the world has a different beauty to it when it rains. Guess we'll have to see...Me: I can probably after 5:45pm
Her: haha, yes
Her: that's fine
Me: Perfect. I'll let you know beforehand when I arrive
Her: [14:11, next day] Her: oddly strange, outside looks like it's late autumn, one of those autumns when as kid was coming back from school happy it was done for the day
Me: Good observation... the feeling of freedom is indeed in the air
Her: nah, I think it's just in us
Me: Even better then
It seems I arrive at 17:35 at [place]I arrive and she's 10 minutes late. When she comes she's apologetic. She's even cuter than I remember her, so that's good
We're lucky and it's not raining. But it might soon, so she asks where we should go. I say we can either go to the lake or to her place (right nearby) and she gives me a funny look. Not comfortable going directly to hers - the lake it is.
She's a very vibrant and fun girl, teetering on the edge of crazy. She walks to my left, and when we cross the street and she ends up on the other side, she goes back to my left because she started that way. Totally spontaneous. Easy to move around though, which I do, often.
My banter is good but not as impactful as I want it to be.
E.g. when I see the boats near us, I spin it off as a narrarive of her stealing a boat and having a pirate adventure. Make it US, as a future projection next time!
She's all over the place and constantly testing and trying to reassert control. I haven't dealt with this type of test yet, where she tries to set dominant frames like 'I'll tell you. Maybe.'
I kinda wave it off and tease her on it('Oh yeah? Make me'), but definitely worth looking into on how to handle most effectively.
She's also super well traveled in Europe, and thus I assume experienced.
We eventually sit down at the lake and I try to deep dive her. She, however, answers things like follows:
Me: So what is it you do?
Her: Lots of things. Sleep. Eat. Talk.
That's fun, but she's adamant about it.
I only found out way later.
What brings her to Switzerland? Everything. What surprised her the most? She's not sure.
Usually, it's a question of mine she doesn't answer, followed by a counter question she wants answered. Which I'll sidestep.
I reframe and counter upcoming objections by making them bigger obstacles. "Yeah, we would never work out," I'd say, with the 'obstacle' as the reason. Sometimes just for a random reason for fun. This is dangerous, however, I just realized: The idea of setting up hurdles is for her to work and break through them! So they aren't real objections, and she knows it and wants to prove it. So if I feel it isn't a real objection, only then can I use it like this.
At some point she asks me how old I am. "Guess," I tell her. She goes for 23. "Almost," I say, debating whether to say 22 or 24 (+1 year range, per recommendation Chase) if she persists. She doesn't. (I'm 20).
What she loves to so hits well and she tells me about her passion for many things, especially dancing.
All in all, she's a very open girl who loves and seeks variety. She walks a new way to work every day...
I qualify her on it and she back to me.
At some point she says I'm 'manipulative' and it feels like I'm 'hiding something'. Never heard that before, but never had a girl like her and it seems my way of dealing with it was uncalibrated.
Still, it screams ATTAINABILITY PROBLEMS and as we continue walking since she's cold, I open up about myself. This is what she needs, and she opens up herself.
Not so long after, after great banter and her opening up about wanting to create her own medieval-dance, we're near hers. I go for an attempted pull and tell her we should warm up at her place (having seeded after her telling me she has a great view, and me saying she needs to show me and her agreeing), but she's not really in and says 'she doesn't know me yet'.
Hmm, alright.
I suggest we go walk around then, which we do. It's dark, windy, and raining... and only my small umbrella to shelter us from the elements. Perfect. One reason why I love this weather so much.
We walk close to each other and the next half hour is filled by banter, fights with the wind and rain, and battles for frame control. I have my arm around her as I lead this Romanian beauty around random streets of my choosing.
She'd e.g. at some point stop walking after it got too windy down a particular road, saying we should go back. She'd be cold. "Sure," I'd say, "but lets go around this thing first," and then have us do it the way I intended. This way I could still do the best move (not going where she'd get cold, leading us through best streets), but do it on my terms.
I could directly measure he level of current compliance by seeing whether she says the word I want to hear in Romanian, or if she tells me to 'speak German with her'.
I seed pulling some times, especially with her view.
When she's 'cold' we walk back to hers. We do a big walk around the block before arriving.
"Do you watch movies?" she asks out of nowhere.
When after I tell her we should watch a movie together now, she doesn't go for it though. "Next time, then" I eventually say.
I tried the line "It feels like we've known each other forever," which works surprisingly well.
Eventually I hug her goodbye and catch my train.
Analysis
What I did well:
-I pushed myself, and always led the courtship forward.-I held frame and didn't give in to hers, even if it wasn't the smoothest - the core was there.
-I made good use of the weather to touch and lead her.
-I practiced cold reading and qualified her.
What do improve:
-Better, smoother dealing with frame-battles and aggressive tests-Better use of future projecting. Use my advantage of being able to make extremely spontaneous, unpredictable conversation (and thus more interesting) far more smoothly and in my favour.
-Have topics to fall back on that I know how to lead to the SOT's and gambits I want.
-Use gambits!!! I originally wanted to test purity gambit again, but it completely slipped my mind... know them far better and think of how to introduce it. Ties back to previous point. Also, have an idea of where to take it after.
-PUSH MORE FOR THE PULL!!! I did try 3 times over the course of the date, but especially the last time I realized I could've done it better. Painting a picture and feelings would've helped my chances tremendously...
So perhaps:
"Hey, speaking of movies - we should watch one now! Enjoy the warmth of the inside while the wind rages outside. We can have a stimulating drink, making us feel warm inside... I'll even let you pick the movie."
Not perfect, but definitely better than the boring version!
-Maybe I fell too much into fun, unpredictable mode. This is better than boring, but the next step is to refine it into making it a skill of drawing people into my world where they can be creative, spontaneous and adventurous, where they won't be judged... so a liminal bubble. What this means is expressing it more in the form of future projections and getting compliance by getting her to immerse into the narrative I paint... at least I'll focus on those two aspects first.
Conclusion
Overall, I did a good job taking action and gathering experience. I focused on the fundamental I am working on, eye contact, successfully.I also identified several points to work on. How to proceed from date to pull is now the next sticking point looming in the distance (I still have a lot to work on the first transition points anyway!).
Me: Hey, had a great time with you tonight Glad this world has a future medieval-style dancer!
Her: Hey hey, I had so much fun with you tonight as well I haven't laughed that much and be so weird with someone in quite some time!
Me: Absolutely It does feel nice to be able to let go, doesn't it?
Her: haha yess I missed that
Glad this world has a future medieval-style dancer!Her: Hey hey, I had so much fun with you tonight as well
I haven't laughed that much and be so weird with someone in quite some time!Me: Absolutely
It does feel nice to be able to let go, doesn't it?Her: haha yess I missed that
The date was on Thursday. I'll message her again on Tuesday with a movie date proposal. She'll decline, counter-propose another walk... and I don't know what to do then.
At least that's my feared prediction. Nothing lost, though, and if she agrees then I have far better chances of getting intimate with her
Cheers,
-Alex
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