Help! Where did I go wrong? All assistance/advice appreciated/welcome

[mmamegadethfan]

Hey guys,

I just signed up with a dating app, and matched with a really pretty girl whose dating answers I liked. I'll call her Jen.

I sent her a like for one of her personality questions and she opened the conversation to me as follows:

(last Sunday)
her: Hey! Your answer is similar to mine lol
me (about 20 minutes later): Yea I saw that
me: My phones about to run out of batteries but I can talk some time tomorrow if that works for you
her: That'd be great!

(Monday)
me: Hi Jen, I'll be free to talk around 6pm after I finish work. Does that sound good to you? I was thinking we can do a WhatsApp video call
me: Oh never mind just noticed there's a voice and video call option in this app, so that should work
her: Oh cool feature!! I'm still at my family's house for the holidays but I go back to my place around the 30th, I'd love to do a call then
me: Sounds good! talk to you then hope you have a nice holiday with your family

(Wednesday the 30th)

me: Hey Jen, hope things are going well during the holidays
me: I can do a video call today if that's good with you. I'll be off work around 5ish
me: Or...I was thinking about it and maybe we can wait till Friday nice way to kick off a new year

So now, its been 5 days and no response from her. Did I do something wrong? What is the best way to salvage this and get a video call going? Any help and/or suggestions are welcome! Thanks in advance guys

Regards,
mmamegadethfan

 

[Velasco]

Any help and/or suggestions are welcome!

get urself one of these

and get rid of these

if that's good with you.

if that works for you

Does that sound good to you?

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@mmamegadethfan dude! I've never done online dating so maybe I'm missing something but the big mistake here is scarcity or you wouldn't care so much about a girl you haven't even met nevermind bedded. That's cool though, abundance is something you can work on.

This mentality will help you understand this situation. You're nothing more than a photo and words on a screen, so she doesn't know how much an awesome dude you are. She has no investment, she'll have hundreds of messages and flooded with attention so her attention span is very short in the online dating market.

Your messages fell short, "hi jen, I'll be free at X to talk. Does that sound good? I was thinking of WhatsApp" - asking if it sounds good ruins your frame, of course it's good, it's your idea! (Not to mention you shown no consideration for her or shared anything new about yourself) She said talking tomorrow (Monday) would be great, you've now cast doubt on your own plan. It gets worse when you then acknowledge you've noticed you can call using the app.
(See @Velasco reply about removing the does that sound good? Stuff)

This shows that you haven't paid much attention and you look a little clueless. (Not understanding the app is actually a good thing!) If she doesn't comply and points out you can do it in the app you use this to DHV saying you're new to the app and how you usually meet girls in person.

The big killer here was probably your triple message on Wednesday. I'm not sure how long in between these messages were but this could look needy, the first message was good and shown consideration. Your second message jumped straight to the phone call with no comfort or rapport with her, a couple of casual messages before going straight to this would have been more calibrated.

It's the equivalent of saying "hi jen, want to go out tomorrow for drinks?" It's very direct and has very low odds of converting. Read the simple texting guide by @Skills on the forum for a message guide and structure.

If this wasn't bad enough you then made this a big deal offering to talk on new year's day to start the year of well. This qualifies her and puts a huge amount of pressure on the video chat, calling a dude she hasn't even sent 2 texts to yet.

Yikes, I wouldn't want to make that call either...

Also you've advertised you done nothing on new year's eve, very attractive dude...

 

[mmamegadethfan]

@mmamegadethfan dude! I've never done online dating so maybe I'm missing something but the big mistake here is scarcity or you wouldn't care so much about a girl you haven't even met nevermind bedded. That's cool though, abundance is something you can work on.

This mentality will help you understand this situation. You're nothing more than a photo and words on a screen, so she doesn't know how much an awesome dude you are. She has no investment, she'll have hundreds of messages and flooded with attention so her attention span is very short in the online dating market.

Your messages fell short, "hi jen, I'll be free at X to talk. Does that sound good? I was thinking of WhatsApp" - asking if it sounds good ruins your frame, of course it's good, it's your idea! (Not to mention you shown no consideration for her or shared anything new about yourself) She said talking tomorrow (Monday) would be great, you've now cast doubt on your own plan. It gets worse when you then acknowledge you've noticed you can call using the app.
(See @Velasco reply about removing the does that sound good? Stuff)

This shows that you haven't paid much attention and you look a little clueless. (Not understanding the app is actually a good thing!) If she doesn't comply and points out you can do it in the app you use this to DHV saying you're new to the app and how you usually meet girls in person.

The big killer here was probably your triple message on Wednesday. I'm not sure how long in between these messages were but this could look needy, the first message was good and shown consideration. Your second message jumped straight to the phone call with no comfort or rapport with her, a couple of casual messages before going straight to this would have been more calibrated.

It's the equivalent of saying "hi jen, want to go out tomorrow for drinks?" It's very direct and has very low odds of converting. Read the simple texting guide by @Skills on the forum for a message guide and structure.

If this wasn't bad enough you then made this a big deal offering to talk on new year's day to start the year of well. This qualifies her and puts a huge amount of pressure on the video chat, calling a dude she hasn't even sent 2 texts to yet.

Yikes, I wouldn't want to make that call either...

Also you've advertised you done nothing on new year's eve, very attractive dude...

Thanks for the advice man. Looks like I've got a lot to learn lol! wow....I feel like I really fucked this up with this girl for all the reasons you mentioned. Ill keep this in mind going forward

 

[mmamegadethfan]

get urself one of these

and get rid of these

thanks for the advice, appreciate it