Hey chase this question is mostly directed at you but please anyone and everyone answer. On a question of mindsets, how do you deal with trying to be a girl's best ever. How do you deal with having to be her best ever sexual experience or experiences for girlfriend and making sure she never forgets you and longs for you. After breakups, having your ex still think you are the best or for a current girlfriend thinking you are better more alpha than her past lovers and the best one she will ever get. How can I deal with the anxiety of this warped need? Thank you everyone
By not making it about you being her best in the sack...
I'm going to talk in metaphor here:
Focus on connecting and being in sync. Make it a dance. Ever danced with a new partner? You have to be clear with your lead, you have to see where she feels comfortable, where she is less flexible, what she is unsure of...read her signals. Communicate with her so she communicates her wants. Then it becomes about the "US". Be confident about your lead, but listen to her response and adjust accordingly.
If it is the best for you, chances are it will be the best for her. She will value the connection more than the duration, tempo, number of positions, acrobatics, and will derive more pleasure from a deep emotional connection along with an orgasm than from an orgasm alone. An emotionally aroused woman is more easily physically aroused. And the Physical orgasm accompanied with emotional connection is a powerful thing.
I'm going to talk in metaphor here:
Focus on connecting and being in sync. Make it a dance. Ever danced with a new partner? You have to be clear with your lead, you have to see where she feels comfortable, where she is less flexible, what she is unsure of...read her signals. Communicate with her so she communicates her wants. Then it becomes about the "US". Be confident about your lead, but listen to her response and adjust accordingly.
If it is the best for you, chances are it will be the best for her. She will value the connection more than the duration, tempo, number of positions, acrobatics, and will derive more pleasure from a deep emotional connection along with an orgasm than from an orgasm alone. An emotionally aroused woman is more easily physically aroused. And the Physical orgasm accompanied with emotional connection is a powerful thing.
I had one more question how do you deal with comparing yourself to her past lovers or boyfriends and trying to be her best? Is there ever one girl or guy that a person remembers as their best for life or is everything more nuanced than that? If a girlfriend says she will never forget her ex will she probably forget you or the ex or what's your experiences?
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Here's an interesting question I pose to you: Why are you concerned about being her best ever? She's with you and not someone else and she's happy with the relationship right? That means you're meeting her needs. And that's the only thing necessary keep her attraction for you going and to maintain a relationship with her. Your concerns are completely irrelevant to building and having a good relationship. And you probably know that. So obviously, this is something else entirely. Try to find out why exactly you even worry about this in the first place. It'll probably boil down to some sort of insecurity or neediness that you have. If I had to guess, you probably compare yourself to past lovers of hers and feel like you have to be better than them. Its your way of getting validation and self-esteem. Work on extinguishing this mindset. Instead, try to cultivate a mindset of valuing yourself independently of how good those around you are.