Hey guys I'm doing a experiment need your input...

[daviddreamer]

I have been having one issue and one issue only in my relationship with my woman and that is when she talks to her ex. So far I have responded rather pissed off and upfront pretty much like "I don't talk to my exes so neither should you or I will leave". Not in those exact words a little more subtle but she responded and said she loved me and she won't do it again...

But then I got to thinking....I realized that his is a mistake and its just gonna close off a door of communication. I think now though she will keep talking to ex but then just won't tell me about it. I talked to her and said I was sorry for being so controlling and that I wanna grow as a person with her. I feel this is a big risk but I told her that she is open to talk to her ex with no problems, I won't get mad or anything but every time she does she has to tell me when she does. In fact I told her to talk to him everyday so I can really learn. I told her that if she does this and is honest with me I can slowly learn over time to get over it and stop being overly-protective...She responded quite well to this and seems a little more open now.

Right now in our relationship I am fully confident she loves me more and needs me more and she has much more to lose so I can get away with this experiment if it screws up...

Please advise.

 

[Richard]

Mannn...

I haven't dealt with this for over a year, and it was when I was with my first girlfriend before I found GC...

Remember, her ex was a significant part of her life for some time, and it becomes almost habitual to contact them because they probably talked to one another daily. Anyway, here's the pattern I've noted:

-She starts talking to her ex for a while
-After time progresses, you'll see their contact start to fade, until
-They stop talking altogether

If she just got out of a relationship with him, or if they broke up recently (1-2 months) then it's natural actually, and you'll see their contact decline almost linearly. If their contact progresses though, it could be mutual agreement to be friends and their contact is probably platonic (also went through this with my second ex where we agreed to break up mutually).

It's nothing to stress yourself over UNLESS IT BECOMES A CLEAR PROBLEM.

Remember, just because people break up, it doesn't mean they can't be friends, and just because they talk as exes, doesn't mean she doesn't love you either

-Richard

 

[daviddreamer]

Thanks Richard that helped put my mind at ease. I just can't help but being a bit protective sometimes when I'm in a relationship. Especially this ex because he cheated and sometimes I can't wrap my head around why she would still wanna talk to him... All my exes before me cheated and idk its like learned conditioning that I think its gonna happen again which I shouldn't think this way because my new Women I should trust fully she hasn't given me a reason not to trust her.