Openers "Hey, I need your help with something... you mind giving me an assist?"

[Chase]

I don't just use this as an opener, but it can be great for that too.

This is a surprisingly high percentage opener you can use for all kinds of situations.

The psychological basis behind it is that people do not like to say no to requests for help (it makes them look anti-social).

There is another psychological benefit to it, in that people who say yes to helping you become more likely to comply with your next request.

When I use it as an opener, it is often to demonstrate something to a buddy/wingman of mine. For instance:

• I use the girl to demonstrate some technique we were talking about. For instance, if she's at the bar, I might have her step away so I can take her spot at the bar, and now I am locked in. I'll then have her turn to fully face me, and describe to him how now I am locked in and she's facing me and I feel like the more powerful one in the situation. I will then ask her to confirm that she can feel I'm the more powerful one in the situation (and she'll say yes)
  
  
• I use the girl to demonstrate how in games like thumb wars, it isn't necessarily the strongest thumb that wins. If she wins I'll say "See?" Or if she doesn't I'll say "Well, she just needs some lessons first apparently"
  
  
• I use the girl to demonstrate the man-woman elbow extension difference and talk about how you can use it to check for transsexuals

A lot of other types of openers have an implied "help me out" subtext to them:

• Indirect-direct starts with asking the girl for help (directions)
• Opinion openers start with asking the girl for help (female opinions)
• "Got a light?" / "Know the time?" are requests for help
• "Hey is this the right line?" / "Know the wifi password here?" / "How's this place work, any idea?" are all requests for help

Requests for help don't just work as openers though.

They also work for re-engagement.

If you have a girl who has completely ghosted you and does not reply at all, and you've tried everything else, like voice messages or video messages, a request for help can actually get her back.

I usually try to find a quasi-legitimate reason for asking for the girl's help... like I want her input on something she's good at, like fashion or shopping.

I find it's most effective to not tell her what you need help on, and just leave a message: "Hey, I need your help with something. Do you mind giving me a quick assist?"

Even if she's completely ghosted you and ignored your last however many messages, a lot of women will still grit their teeth and say, "What?"

If you're good, that can be all in you need to get the good feelings flowing again and get her back in regular contact... or even use the help as an excuse to get her on a date: "You're the best person I know when it comes to fashion, and I've got to get this shirt that's super important. Can I steal a few minutes from you this week or the weekend to do a quick shopping expedition and pick the best one?"

It can also be a fun social thing you invite her to: "You're the most charming person I know, and I've got this classy event I'm headed to where I won't know anyone. The food is going to be great and the potential contacts there are amazing, but I need a partner in crime. Think I can get you to accompany me? I've got the tickets, so it's free for you. All you'll need is a nice dress and an appetite."

Because it's framed as helping, she feels additional social pressure to assent to the request.

But of course, what happens when someone helps you? Why, she complies with you... which means she is investing in you... which makes her like you more!

So, whether you're using this as an opener, or to reengage disengaged women, or for some other purpose (I use it sometimes to steal a girl away again after some other person or group stole her attention from me at some social venue; I've also used it to calm down women in drama fights: "Okay, I know you're upset. But first, help me out. I need your help. Help me understand your perspective, so I can see why this affects you how it does"), you're causing women to invest in you more, which makes them more partial to you.

Women use this a lot too, by the way. "Can you take our picture?" "Do you have a light?" "Can you help me with this?" "I don't know how to do this, can you help?" "Do you know where X is?" "Are you any good with this?" -- all these are requests for help from women.

And how do you feel when you get the request? Somewhat obligated to help.

And how do you feel after you assist her on her request? Like the relationship is budding and getting stronger.

The effect works exactly the same way when you use it on women.

Enjoy getting them to help you out...!

Chase

 

[Train]

This is a neat opener! Thank you for sharing.

I've stumbled into this one before. I wanted a plausible platonic reason to approach. It worked pretty well!

I asked the girl to help me calculate something on a test as class ended. Gave me a chance to walk and talk with her as she diligently worked the calculator.

She even threw some unprompted investment afterwards ("I'll drive you to your next class!"). She was visually warm/receptive throughout.

So she offered a guy, who was basically a total stranger 5 minutes before, a ride... But I, being the awkward naive introvert that I was, said "No thanks."

Definitely trying it out again though. And saying yes to any and all rides this time around .

 

[Witcher]

Good opener @Chase . Make me think of combining it with the old "Jealous Girlfriend opener". Also, it's looking a lot like a Date template you shared in the newsletter "Teach me something date".

 

[Skills]

At one point of time, when i was re-discovering and re-inventing my style thanks to @Glow @Teevster and pureevil, i went through a crazy face, in which i would buy clothes take selfies or take outfits i was interested in and i would send it to girls and ask them what they think of the outfit.... Totally served as a ping, totally works the concept behind the help...

 

[Witcher]

Thanks to @Lover I could find an old date template that @Chase shared in the GC newsletter: The Teach Me Something Date.

I think this date may be a very good combination with this opener. Especially to re-connect with girls or girls on the periphery of one's social circle. We can use that to either bring her to a date or maybe to a Bonding Phone call and then ask her out for a meet.

What do you things guys

 

[Witcher]

Hi @Chase

I recently came across the article "Manipulative texting" in the which you share a text similar to this opener where you start the conversation with the girl asking her for help.

However, in the article version, you reccomand to tell what's what you need help for. While in the one in this forum post you reccomand not doing it on the first text, until she replies back.

Can you clarify the difference?

Quotes for references
This one :

I find it's most effective to not tell her what you need help on, and just leave a message: "Hey, I need your help with something. Do you mind giving me a quick assist?"

Article one:

The original Scrambler message relies on a very vague bait to try to intrigue the girl. "Hey let me ask you for a favor" is fine in person. But over text people get all kinds of weird wondering about what kind of favor you're going to ask them for. It's stressful, unnerving, often not good.

What you can do instead, to skip the negative effects, is to tell her you want her help on the specific thing she's good at.

Thanks

 

[Chase]

@Witcher,

Yeah, there's an apparent contradiction there.

In the article I am saying better to reference something she's good at. Here I am saying better not to specify.

I think when I wrote this post on the forum I was thinking more along the lines of "typical things guys will ask for help with." e.g., if it is some generic thing you want her help with, you are better off getting her to agree to it first before you tell her what the thing is. "Hey can you help me figure out which outfit looks better?" "All right, so I've got this situation and could use your input..." those are better off not specified in the initial text. Get her compliance first, then give the specific ask.

But in the case where you actually know things she is good at, where she is going to feel pride and confidence when you say you need her help, it is an advantage if you can include the specific thing she's good at in the initial text and is usually going to raise your odds of a text back.

Chase

 

[Witcher]

@Witcher,

Yeah, there's an apparent contradiction there.

In the article I am saying better to reference something she's good at. Here I am saying better not to specify.

I think when I wrote this post on the forum I was thinking more along the lines of "typical things guys will ask for help with." e.g., if it is some generic thing you want her help with, you are better off getting her to agree to it first before you tell her what the thing is. "Hey can you help me figure out which outfit looks better?" "All right, so I've got this situation and could use your input..." those are better off not specified in the initial text. Get her compliance first, then give the specific ask.

But in the case where you actually know things she is good at, where she is going to feel pride and confidence when you say you need her help, it is an advantage if you can include the specific thing she's good at in the initial text and is usually going to raise your odds of a text back.

Chase

Thank you for these inputs @Chase , My little reporting on using it for few months now, would love some of your comments as well.

I have been mainly using it to either revive old leads or as a method to approach and get dates on girls in the periphery of my social circle, like alumni, friends of friends, Social Media contacts etc... I combine it with the "Help me run some errands dates".

I had some good results but also some sticking points along the way.

The best cases were when I could get the girl to help me one something via a call, which I then transition to a bonding call. After that call is over I ask them out via text as explained in the boding call article. This even got me on a date 2 hours after finishing the call with girl who has been evasive for weeks after auto-rejecting.

The second less successful one was when I ask them to help me with something as a way to get them to meet. Like coming with me to an event, or helping me buy something, using the Help Me Run Some Errands date. Here I found myself at to Sticking point :

1-She comes but to the date is "agréable" but not romantic. The date becomes a casual meeting between two acquaintances. I even feel the girl now forcing herself to keep it social because of the nature of the activity or event and dodging my attempts to turn it romantic/sexual.

2-I also found that it's a turn-off for girls who have a showed good interest in me, and I end up losing them. They are like... I wanted a Romantic Date...or "Can you please invite me to a proper date". The girl either refuses the meet/call or may flake.

That's it, that fir ni my go-to way to get girls from te periphery of my social circle but it still needs refinement.

 

[Chase]

Nice job experimenting with it, @Witcher.

The best cases were when I could get the girl to help me one something via a call, which I then transition to a bonding call. After that call is over I ask them out via text as explained in the boding call article. This even got me on a date 2 hours after finishing the call with girl who has been evasive for weeks after auto-rejecting.

That's a fine strategy. Get the platonic-ish help thing out of the way first. Then switch to romantic. Then do the date.

The second less successful one was when I ask them to help me with something as a way to get them to meet. Like coming with me to an event, or helping me buy something, using the Help Me Run Some Errands date. Here I found myself at to Sticking point :

1-She comes but to the date is "agréable" but not romantic. The date becomes a casual meeting between two acquaintances. I even feel the girl now forcing herself to keep it social because of the nature of the activity or event and dodging my attempts to turn it romantic/sexual.

Yeah, if it's a thing where she's really flaky, and you don't have a flirtatious dynamic set up with her, it's possible you may be able to get her out to help out with something because she's a Good Person and doesn't want to turn down a Friend In Need, but isn't actually interested in you or available. Maybe she's even got some guy she's seeing and wants to stay loyal to, but feels like she should come out and help you. In that case it's going to be a bust.

That's not going to happen every time, but the flakier girls are and the more indirect the reason is you use to get them out, the more likely you are to get a girl out who's not really available at all right now and is showing up for purely platonic reasons.

Sometimes you may be able to turn that around with your seductive charm... or sometimes you may find yourself spending a few hours in purely platonic land, wondering what the heck you are even doing hanging out with this chick, while she wonders the same thing...

2-I also found that it's a turn-off for girls who have a showed good interest in me, and I end up losing them. They are like... I wanted a Romantic Date...or "Can you please invite me to a proper date". The girl either refuses the meet/call or may flake.

That's it, that fir ni my go-to way to get girls from te periphery of my social circle but it still needs refinement.

In that case, make it something simpler to help you with, then invite them on a date as a reward.

e.g., "Hey, I need a female eye for this new outfit I'm picking out... want to give me a hand with it, then we'll get a meal on me as thanks?"

That way you're still tapping into getting her to help you, but she also gets the romantic date with a plausible reason for it ("he is thanking me") to help her around any reservations she might have.

Chase