High Energy Or Low Energy

[iancasablanco]

I'm a more relaxed guy by nature, and I try to avoid being the loud aggravating party dude, but Ive noticed that a lot of the guys I run with if I'm going out to meet women are much more high energy, in a tasteful way. I've never really debated this with them since we just balance out for the most part, but I'm wondering what you, the forum think is a good level of energy: strong, silent type, excited partystarter guy type, or somewhere in the middle? Thanks for any input.

 

[Eternity]

I lean more towards the strong silent type- its just more my personality. The loud party guys just attract more attention than the silent type. Perhaps that is why they get laid more, they just dont give a fuck and girls dig that. But girls are not all the same, some dig the strong silent type and if you up ur game more, u can get most of the girls u want. I think being in the middle of these extremes is best, especially if ur more introverted than extroverted.
Are ur friends getting laid consistently?

 

[Chase]

When I first started going out with a wingman rather than solo (which was how I started out), he was loud and high energy and flashy, while I was chill and laid back. So I'd open these groups of girls, and then I'd bring him in, and he'd just steal the show altogether and I'd be out while they all laughed at his jokes and marveled at his routines. At one point I talked to him and said, "Man, you're just outshining me whenever I bring you in... you're gonna have to stop doing that or I'm not introducing you to anymore chicks!"

Eventually I realized I couldn't compete with him in loudness and flash, but I could compete in another way. So what I started to do was let him do his loud flashy thing, and I'd just chill and look reeeall comfortable and solid and dominant. And what began to happen was, almost every time, the girls would start ignoring him and start talking and flirting with me. We were out once with a guy far more experienced at picking up in bars than either of us at the time, and it happened again, and these two girls my friend had opened both glommed onto me and started ignoring him just to chat me up. And I overheard my friend ask the more experienced guy, "What is he DOING? Why does this keep happening to me?" and the more experienced guy just commented, "The strong, silent guy is always going to look more dominant than the loud party guy who's doing all the work. Women are naturally intrigued and attracted to him."

Ultimately I found it to be a good pairing when you're going out; if you have a high energy guy to do the opening, and a low energy dominant guy to be the "anchor" (who keeps the girls around and keeps them interested once the flash and dazzle of the high energy guy wears off), the high energy guy hooks them, and the low energy guy reels them in. Usually the way it works out is you as the low energy guy will attract and bed the more dominant girl, and your friend will get the less dominant one (if there are two of them, and two of you). And it's a toss up which of these is going to be more attractive; sometimes it's the dominant girl, sometimes it isn't. So it evens out.

Chase

 

[Jeet02]

Definitely very interesting topic. I am more of a low energy, laid back kinda guy as well.

Let me ask you something then Chase: How do you differentiate from looking comfortable and dominant vs looking just shy and awkward and basically you are not talking cause you don't have anything to say?

I am guessing posture is one way, but you think you could break it down?

Thanks!
-Jeet

 

[iancasablanco]

I see exactly what you mean Chase, that definitely solidified what I was thinking, thanks. And @ Eternity, both me and my friends are getting laid pretty consistently, I was just itching for a more stable, productive set up, thank you for your input, strong, silent types can by all means get laid as much as the more extrovert guys, as long as we have relaxed charm, as opposed to just being shy. (but hey, Bob Marley and Jim Morrison were both shy guys.)

P.S. @ Jeet: I think as long as you maintain good eye contact and still pose a challenge, basically avoid being submissive and lean more towards edgy, quiet rebellion, it keeps things in your playing field.

 

[Chase]

Jeet,

P.S. @ Jeet: I think as long as you maintain good eye contact and still pose a challenge, basically avoid being submissive and lean more towards edgy, quiet rebellion, it keeps things in your playing field.

Ian's got it. Throw in a dash of exaggerated, bored "glancing around" every now and again, as if you find the whole thing eminently uninteresting, and suddenly girls are paying attention.

Chase

 

[Thinkingenigma]

Very interesting. I started out being pretty chill (which comes out more when I'm tired), but as I've started getting into the game, I've become much more high energy than I used to. I'm a natural introvert with strong extroverted tendencies, so I've been trying to find a balance to these two. My issue is that I have two different styles of interaction between when I'm alert and when I'm tired, and I find that I actually do better when I'm tired because of it. Do you guys have any tips on how to control your state? eg. I'm awake and excited. Are there any ways to chill myself out a bit?

 

[Jeet02]

Jeet,

P.S. @ Jeet: I think as long as you maintain good eye contact and still pose a challenge, basically avoid being submissive and lean more towards edgy, quiet rebellion, it keeps things in your playing field.

Ian's got it. Throw in a dash of exaggerated, bored "glancing around" every now and again, as if you find the whole thing eminently uninteresting, and suddenly girls are paying attention.

Chase

Nice, I will definitely keep that in mind. Thanks!

Very interesting. I started out being pretty chill (which comes out more when I'm tired), but as I've started getting into the game, I've become much more high energy than I used to. I'm a natural introvert with strong extroverted tendencies, so I've been trying to find a balance to these two. My issue is that I have two different styles of interaction between when I'm alert and when I'm tired, and I find that I actually do better when I'm tired because of it. Do you guys have any tips on how to control your state? eg. I'm awake and excited. Are there any ways to chill myself out a bit?

I would suggest to be conscious about it. I mean, the way I see it, there is nothing wrong with being energetic. But if you manage to control that energy in a sense that you look "chill" but still feel pretty energetic/pumped up, then that would be the best combo. I feel like that is when I have had the most success because women FEEL that. They can feel which state you are in...and if you look confident, comfortable, and chill, but still you manage to radiate that energy...then you would do awesome, at least from what I have seen. I hope that makes SOME sense haha. Basically just control yourself from "exaggerating" it.

-Jeet

 

[Thinkingenigma]

Very interesting. I started out being pretty chill (which comes out more when I'm tired), but as I've started getting into the game, I've become much more high energy than I used to. I'm a natural introvert with strong extroverted tendencies, so I've been trying to find a balance to these two. My issue is that I have two different styles of interaction between when I'm alert and when I'm tired, and I find that I actually do better when I'm tired because of it. Do you guys have any tips on how to control your state? eg. I'm awake and excited. Are there any ways to chill myself out a bit?

I would suggest to be conscious about it. I mean, the way I see it, there is nothing wrong with being energetic. But if you manage to control that energy in a sense that you look "chill" but still feel pretty energetic/pumped up, then that would be the best combo. I feel like that is when I have had the most success because women FEEL that. They can feel which state you are in...and if you look confident, comfortable, and chill, but still you manage to radiate that energy...then you would do awesome, at least from what I have seen. I hope that makes SOME sense haha. Basically just control yourself from "exaggerating" it.

-Jeet

Thanks Jeet, I will practice doing that in the future.

 

[Nova]

I think this is one area that causes a lot of problems and annoyance for guys just starting off in seduction, because too often beginners associate attention with attraction. Obviously the loud, high energy guy is going to draw attention to himself, especially initially, there is nothing you can do about that. The most important thing to do is not let that initial attention that he is drawing get to yourself, you must not try to outshine him or try harder than he is, that will only make you look uncomfortable, and will turn the process into a battle between you and the high energy entertainer, and 9/10 times he will win, leaving you worse for wear and looking like a loser.

What usually happens is, once the girl/girls notice how comfortable you are with the situation, how chill and unaffected you are they will be drawn towards you, and intrigued at how relaxed you are in such a position, which is a very rare thing. This is true confidence and will always pay off in the end. The attention they give the entertainer will be based off fun vibes, the attention they give you will be based on the sexual and intrigue.

Don't get me wrong, if the situation was just the girl/girls with this one loud party guy then they will continue having a good time with him, listening to his jokes etc all evening if they have to, because they do find him FUN, but if you are present in the situation doing your thing, showing your chill vibe, believe me, over time that will be noticed and become more powerful then some guy investing loads to make the girls laugh. Not to say you can't achieve results by being a loud, flash kinda guy, because you can, you will just have to work harder to highlight your sexual vibe.

 

[Just_Dave]

I go with the whole "law of least effort", I don't want to come off as a "try hard" or a "clown". However, you don't want to be too serious and "kill joy". Rather be 3 dimensional, have different sides. Become passionate when you want, and bored when you want.

 

[Nova]

I go with the whole "law of least effort", I don't want to come off as a "try hard" or a "clown". However, you don't want to be too serious and "kill joy". Rather be 3 dimensional, have different sides. Become passionate when you want, and bored when you want.

Whilst its true that you don't want any girl to perceive you as boring or overly serious, I think that a lot of this stuff is situational based. If your in a group or with her friends (obviously not the best of circumstances, but hey, it happens) this is perhaps where you want to show your more social/fun side and show her that you cope well in a group situation and are a socially savvy guy. This obviously boosts your social value and hence her attraction towards you. In my opinion this kinda situation is the only one where you really need to perhaps increase your energy levels etc.

When you are with a girl by yourself, keeping things chill, and the vibe sexual, you don't need to worry about being seen as boring or serious, the girl will be too busy seeing you as sexual and intriguing (providing you are conversing & escalating correctly). You want to keep it that way, don't risk playing it a certain way just to evoke great reactions from her. Keep things sexual. Remember reactions don't equal results.

As far as being passionate and bored, of course both are important, but they are only useful to your chances with a certain girl when played the right way. I wouldn't show passion or boredom when it is obviously going to hinder my chances. Its all about timing.

 

[Just_Dave]

I go with the whole "law of least effort", I don't want to come off as a "try hard" or a "clown". However, you don't want to be too serious and "kill joy". Rather be 3 dimensional, have different sides. Become passionate when you want, and bored when you want.

Whilst its true that you don't want any girl to perceive you as boring or overly serious, I think that a lot of this stuff is situational based. If your in a group or with her friends (obviously not the best of circumstances, but hey, it happens) this is perhaps where you want to show your more social/fun side and show her that you cope well in a group situation and are a socially savvy guy. This obviously boosts your social value and hence her attraction towards you. In my opinion this kinda situation is the only one where you really need to perhaps increase your energy levels etc.

When you are with a girl by yourself, keeping things chill, and the vibe sexual, you don't need to worry about being seen as boring or serious, the girl will be too busy seeing you as sexual and intriguing (providing you are conversing & escalating correctly). You want to keep it that way, don't risk playing it a certain way just to evoke great reactions from her. Keep things sexual. Remember reactions don't equal results.

As far as being passionate and bored, of course both are important, but they are only useful to your chances with a certain girl when played the right way. I wouldn't show passion or boredom when it is obviously going to hinder my chances. Its all about timing.

Hence why I said 3 dimensional brother, it's being rounded as a person to fit any situation and any environment.

 

[Nova]

Hence why I said 3 dimensional brother.

Yeh, I was agreeing with you Just elaborating for other people where you want to show those other sides.

Its interesting though, some people do take information from seduction based materials and assume that acting this or that way is going to be beneficial in all circumstances. Yeh its all about being well rounded.