Highlighting Your Desirability by Pointing at Others' Lack

[Chase]

Quick trick I use with girls (and that girls often use with me). When you're talking with a girl, try to find an opportunity to paint a picture (in jest) of her with some undesirable guy. Not SO undesirable that she's insulted, but just undesirable enough (or, conversely, so ABSURDLY undesirable she'll know you're joking) that she'll say, "Oh God, no way!" and subconsciously reassure herself, "Thank God I'm with a guy right now [you] who isn't like THAT!"

Example:

• You're sitting with a girl at a table in a café, or at a bar in a nightspot. She points out some old with a silly-looking hairpiece, or you point him out to her and she makes a sarcastic remark about him.
  
  You: [in deadpan] He's totally your type, isn't he?
  
  Her: Oh God, yeah. That's the kind of man I go for.
  
  You: Knew it. I can't even compete.

What this does is create a contrast in her mind, and the choices seemingly narrow down to two: that guy, and you.

Just make sure you don't do this with someone more attractive or more charismatic than you are. Having done that several times before by accident (while shooting from the hip), I can attest that it does indeed instantly make you seem less desirable than you were a moment earlier when the contrast is more favorable to him than it is to you. Always be sure to contrast yourself favorably, and this one gives you a nice little boost to attraction and helps speed your interactions up a bit.

Chase

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: Highlighting Your Desirability by Pointing at Others' La

Chase,

Conflict information here, please clarify. You once mention that pointing out to a quality guy is better because it tells the girl that you are capable of the same quality guy.

So you just gauge around the person you pointing out, and your value with him?

Zac

 

[Estate]

Re: Highlighting Your Desirability by Pointing at Others' La

I've used this in the past without even realizing it was a "thing".
It's just being playful, usually you point out the old creeper in the bar or the guy acting or dressed crazy or weird.

It's just playful and funny but I think Chase is right in the undertone it sets.

I don't really see the benefit of pointing out a BETTER looking guy. I think that's way overthinking it to be honest and REALLY trying to play a game when this is only ever meant to be a little playful addition to a conversation.
I get the theory you're going for Zac but if the guy is GENUINELY a good looking or attractive guy then the reality is, she may well be attracted to him so I just don't see the benefit of pointing it out, it looks very tryhard to put down a guy you are potentially competing with without needing to.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: Highlighting Your Desirability by Pointing at Others' La

Estate,

I get the theory you're going for Zac but if the guy is GENUINELY a good looking or attractive guy then the reality is, she may well be attracted to him so I just don't see the benefit of pointing it out, it looks very tryhard to put down a guy you are potentially competing with without needing to.

Yea definitely, but if you believe you're attractive, then she find that you know what you're capable of, by pointing out what he's doing. Likewise, i try the stuff Chase do. I did it a lot last time. It works. You right.

But i do hope to clarify on this. Maybe we have two school of thoughts.

Zac

 

[Ross]

Re: Highlighting Your Desirability by Pointing at Others' La

Exactly how inner game can get so confusing!

Pointing out a quality guy, at least as it seems to me (haven't tested it), and being sarcastic about him pretty much depends on the tone. If you are seen as jealous in tonality, it can turn out to be very bad. However, if you do it in the manner that Chase suggests,

You: [in deadpan] He's totally your type, isn't he?

I believe that the deadpan in this situation is essential. It communicates playfulness. Either way, the message works in your favor. Being playful about a clearly attractive guy shows awareness of the guy, and communicates that you aren't afraid of him. Being playful about a clearly over the top guy shows awareness again, and solidifies her spot as with the most attractive guy in the place.

Even in situations where the man is with a woman who clearly is receiving pre-selection by talking with attractive women with body language that is locked in wouldn't harm you. I wouldn't suggest doing this, as it isn't really useful towards the two of you. Maybe if he's your buddy you could do that and it would work out for the both of you. You'd receive pre-selection from a lot of women and certainly have your choice of who you wanted to go home with tonight!

Side note story: I used to always wonder why men could say the exact same thing as me, yet yield better results. It's all about attitude and tonality in this respect. Tone is the voice of your inner game, and if it is weak, it will be hard to convince them that you are a suave, sexy man, as you don't believe you are.

 

[Chase]

Re: Highlighting Your Desirability by Pointing at Others' La

@ Zac-

Chase,

Conflict information here, please clarify. You once mention that pointing out to a quality guy is better because it tells the girl that you are capable of the same quality guy.

So you just gauge around the person you pointing out, and your value with him?

Zac

Each of these techniques serve different purposes.

If you're pointing out a cool guy, it's in a respectful, *head nod* kind of way. Like, "See that guy? That guy is cool." Then she'll agree with you, and think, "This guy is even COOLER, because he's comfortable pointing out clearly cool guys and labeling them as cool and in no way intimidated by them or afraid I'll ditch him and run off with the guy as soon as he draws attention to him." She likes you more for it.

If you're pointing out a not-cool guy, it's done not to make fun of the guy, but to poke fun at the GIRL. Imagine yourself sitting with some girl you're bantering with, and she points out a girl with a green spiked mohawk and a nose ring. "She's totally your type, isn't she?" she asks with a straight face. You laugh - it's flirting. "Yeah," you say. "Knew it," she replies back, "I should probably just head home right now, I don't stand a chance." Suddenly you feel a spike in your desire to chase her - even though it's all a joke and she's only just ribbing you. You feel like you need to assure her you like her.

You do this same thing, except to the girl, instead of her doing it to you.

@ Estate-

I get the theory you're going for Zac but if the guy is GENUINELY a good looking or attractive guy then the reality is, she may well be attracted to him so I just don't see the benefit of pointing it out, it looks very tryhard to put down a guy you are potentially competing with without needing to.

You won't go out of your way to do this, but if it fits the conversation - e.g., if you're having a discussion about what's "cool" or what different guys can get - you can point out an attractive guy and say, "See that guy? That guy's good-looking, and pretty cool. If that guy walks up to that girl and he isn't completely horrible at talking to women, then..."

Assuming it's a natural fit for the conversation, it's fine, and you get a bit of a boost because you're cool enough to recognize other cool people and not be intimidated by them. e.g., imagine two rock stars, both of whom seem pretty badass, but neither of whom you really know where you'd place in a hierarchy. Then one of the rockstars points to the other rockstar and (genuinely) says, "You see this guy right here? He's cool. And do you know what's cool about him? When this guy walks up to women, they flip out on pure instinct." Which guy seems cooler now? The guy being complimented seems pretty cool... but the guy doing the complimenting seems a notch above that even.

@ Ross-

Pointing out a quality guy, at least as it seems to me (haven't tested it), and being sarcastic about him pretty much depends on the tone.

I think Zac's mentioning of the quality guy example made this thread a bit more confusing.

The gist is though, you deadpan sarcasm a guy who she would NOT want to be with, to contrast against.

Meanwhile, you genuinely compliment, in passing, a guy who she WOULD want to be with (and then get right back to your conversation / talking to her).

One (teasing her about wanting to be with the subpar guy and then pretending to concede defeat to him) is designed to emphasize your desirability and inspire a bit of chasing.

The other (genuinely complimenting a cool guy in passing) is designed to communicate that you recognize and appreciate coolness and desirability in other men, and can talk about it freely without intimidation. It also positions you as superior to the man, in a way, because you're passing judgment on his coolness.

That said...

I believe that the deadpan in this situation is essential. It communicates playfulness. Either way, the message works in your favor. Being playful about a clearly attractive guy shows awareness of the guy, and communicates that you aren't afraid of him. Being playful about a clearly over the top guy shows awareness again, and solidifies her spot as with the most attractive guy in the place.

There are a few other ways to be playful about attractive guys, you're right. One example is talking to a girl and her telling you she really likes you, and you playfully telling her, "Well, you say that now, but I'll bet if THAT guy came over here you'd be saying the same thing to him and ignoring me altogether." This accomplishes a few things - you're implying that she's chasing after an attractive man (you, or that other guy if she had a shot), you're positioning yourself as the second most attractive guy in the place (there's you, and then there's that guy) and taking all the other potential competition out of consideration, and you're getting her to mentally write off the more attractive-seeming guy as someone she doesn't even know and doesn't have a connection with in contrast to you, whom she does have those things with. This one's usually best for high competition environments where there's a big risk of other men trying to steal your girl away. It also avoids you having to reciprocate the interest she's shown in you, while not being dismissive or rude about it... which makes her feel like she's chasing and you're attainable, but not yet attained - so she must chase harder.

Side note story: I used to always wonder why men could say the exact same thing as me, yet yield better results. It's all about attitude and tonality in this respect. Tone is the voice of your inner game, and if it is weak, it will be hard to convince them that you are a suave, sexy man, as you don't believe you are.

Indeed... tone is key.

The better you get at hitting the right note tonally, the better you get at having the effect on women you want to have.

Chase

 

[Ross]

Re: Highlighting Your Desirability by Pointing at Others' La

Meanwhile, you genuinely compliment, in passing, a guy who she WOULD want to be with (and then get right back to your conversation / talking to her).

I see the point you are making now. That does sound like the better option with the other one (deadpan sarcasm with attractive man) so bugged up with potential problems.

 

[lux7]

I use this one too, but never in a "you with that guy", but more in describing some "not so cool behavior" some people adopt (and you're the opposite).

Or, the other side of the coin, explaining how cool people would behave (and you're that guy)

For example I could say "yeah, I can undesrtand, unluckily some guys who have very little experience meet a girl and they already start fantasizing about her as a GF. This happens because... bla bla". Or "most girls are doomed at being unhappy because girls want men who are better than they are. Unluckily some of those guys have so much on their plate and/can have most girls they want, and some of them aren't particularly keen at spending too much time for anyone who's not amazing"

Result? You're NOT the guy who's thinking about GFs in the first case and you might just as well be that top guy who can have many girls but is very selective.

I find it that weaving it into the conversation gives you an even easier win : you are always better than "someone behaving like a chode", while you never know she might not really find the guy guy you just pointed to so unattracitve .

 

[Fuck This]

This is interesting. Just the other night my gf pointed out a teenage boy sitting at a social event with arms crossed and pouting. I thought maybe it could have been a test for empathy. I just kinda laughed it off.

As for the higher status guy situation:
I have a friend who is absolutely ripped and is a talented athlete. Nice guy too. So in a social situation I will compliment him on something more tangible than just physique, and he is socially savvy enough to feed it back and we have now both elevated each other's social status. Kind of a "give and go" if you are a basketball player. But you have to know your buddies are going to do that before you expect an assist....