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Hinge date, Almost banged but couldn't quite pull it off.

justonemoreperson

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 28, 2019
Messages
15
Back with another one, this time I didn't get the first date lay, I was very close, but next date is a sure smash.

I copied our whole text interaction from hinge to texting below the field report, it's a lot of texting so it's there for anyone curious.

We meet up at starbucks. I sit on the bench outside the coffee spot and tell her we'll meet outside. She comes from the side and says my name, I turn around, look at her, and exclaim "Gloria!" I get up, kiss her on the cheek, and hug her for a few seconds. I compliment her lovely dress, we walk in the starbucks and order coffee. I stumble this, I forgot what the coffee was called for a second, the lady couldnt hear my voice too well so I had to repeat myself a few times lol, I was an awkward mess but my girl didnt seem to mind. We finished ordering, I clumsily paid, we're standing on the side waiting for our drinks and we do some talking, I spread both hands on the counter while we talk, even though I was a little awkward with the server me and her are immediately in a bubble, a little awkward pauses but in a good way.

I grab our coffee and we walk out, sit on the table outside and start talking. We get to know each other a little, I look at her wrist tattoo, comment on it while I aim touching it, compliment it. She mentions that I have extremely good eye contact, because I havent taken my eyes off her at all. This is a bit of a habit I have, as I am so absorbed in the conversation that I do not think about my eye contact. We talked at one point about our faults, I mentioned that I become engrossed on one thing at a time, and I become very passionate about it and sometimes I take failures more harshly than others because of it, she said that it wasn't a fault and that she liked it. I tell her she has beautiful eyes, and she eats it up.

After a few minutes, our conversation starts dying down a few times, and I use this to just look at her and hold tension before I break the tension with conversation. Until I knew that she was ready to be moved, the convo died again and I asked her if she wanted to have a drink with me, she replies yes and we get up, I tell her we'll go to the mall 5 minutes away and to follow me on her car, she agrees.

We get to the mall, and I parked at the other end of where the bar was, not on purpose just cluelessness, we get out of the car and I tell her I hope she doesnt mind a little walking, she says she doesnt. I didnt know exactly how to get to the bar, so I framed it as this being our little adventure and she liked that.

We find the bar and we sit down at a table and talk a little more. This time our legs are touching and we are closer to one another. I ask what she wants to drink and I go up to the bar and order our drinks, then tell the guy to serve it to our table.

I get back to our table and I comment on how the guy was asking me about my rings(I wear 2, black and red) I thought the style looked cool with my black leather bracelet and it seems like I was correct.

The guy brings our drinks, and I fumble this a bit, just cluelessness, but she doesnt mind. We talk some more, deeper conversation, I mention her small hand size as an excuse to compare our hands and touch her, as well as my hands being cold and I needed her body heat to warm up. Eventually I just straight up started holding her hand as we talked, our convos die a few times and she looks at me passionately/longingly, I ask her to show me pictures of her cat, she does, and I show her my phone and she goes through my cat album.

I ask her if she wants to meet my cats, she thinks about it, then says she wants to meet my cats, but not today. Her face told me that she really wanted to but her logical brain kicked in and she stopped herself. We talk a little more, she mentions that im someone who really communicates with my eyes, she said she enjoyed the eye contact I gave her and that she could tell I genuinely liked her. I guess the reason she said this because my interest came from my touching and the way I looked at her, I didnt do much flirting except for like 2-3 small comments I followed up on that she started.

Some guys in the back are making loud noises, she comments on this, and I mention lets go to a more quiet spot with less noise, she agrees, I mention the park, and she thought I was talking about the park inside the mall, which I have no clue where its located, she didnt know either, so I said lets just walk and we do.

We leave the mall and are walking by the sidewalk where the parking lot is, I grab her hand as we walk, and we make conversation. we are growing more intimate/bonding harder, at one point I stop walking, still holding her hand, she makes eye contact with me and walks up to me and kisses me. we make out a little, I pull away after a bit and continue holding hands and walking. she calls me a good kisser, I tell her she is too and that I like the taste of her lips, she mentions they taste like lipstick, I counter that they taste like heaven, and she ate that up.

We walk some more, talk, and stop to make out a few more times. each time there is more passion to it. We go from holding hands to putting our hands around each other while we walk. We reach our cars but she says we can keep walking, I oblige and then when the change of activity is getting a bit stale I start working towards my car with her.

We get to my car and I say we can talk a few more minutes. I lay against my car and she comes up to me, she wraps her arms around me and I wrap mine around her, we kiss some more and Im grabbing her ass while we make out, I comment on her birth marks, I grab her cheeks and kiss them, show her what an eskimo kiss is, at this point she's really absorbed into me in this parking lot, we make out some more and this time I start rubbing her pussy through her dress with my hand. She gets turned on from this but after a few seconds stops me, and mentions theres people around, I tell her to come to my place and meet my cats, I wont do anything she doesnt want to, just talk. She's really struggling to give me an answer, her heart and pussy wanted me but she eventually says that she really wants to have sex with me, but not tonight. she mentioned the time was late and she had work, etc. she mentions that she wants to see me again and if we can meet on Sunday, and I said yes.

We make out for a little more, talk a little, eventually she pulls away and says ok im going. I tell her to let me know when she gets home so I know she's safe, and we bid each other goodbye.

She gets home and texts me, I tell her I enjoyed my time with her and she said she did too with a heart emoji.

I think I couldve done a few things better on this date that couldve gotten me the lay. I shouldve had a smooth spot as my 3rd bounce that wouldve allowed me to escalate with her harder and then pull her home. Maybe even the back seat of the car wouldve been good for this, definitely better than in the open parking lot. Actually, if I wouldve had her and I seat in the back of the car Im confident I would have gotten her horny enough to fuck her today.

Another possible mistake is that when I was trying to pull her, in her moments of hesitation, could I have said something that would've helped me? Not too sure, but I know that if I couldve secluded her more to allow for more escalation, she would not have been able to resist going home with me tonight.

I would love you guys thoughts on this and on what I could've improved upon, as well as what you think should be our date for Sunday? At first, I thought Id suggest wine at my place, we make dinner(she likes to cook), and watch a movie, but I think that might be too forward since we havent fucked yet. Instead, I think I should invite her to the park, something simple, then pull her home. Would I need to do 3 bounces again for this second date? @Skills I'd appreciate your feedback.

Below is the texting whole conversation from dating app to texting before our date:

hinge convo after match:

me: hey gloria, how have guys been treating u on here?

her: There’s only one way to find out about my normal side lol

her: The guys have been….guys lol. They could be worse. I haven’t gotten anyone overtly rude so that’s a plus!

me: thats good to hear! and I wanna find out about all your sides ;)

me: just curious, what would u say are your 2 best qualities unrelated to your looks?

her: Hmm, i like to think that i am very personable, I enjoy talking to people and listening to their stories. I’m also a solution oriented person? Kinda weird but I’m really good at problem solving and creative thinking? Why do these feel like interview responses lol

me: those are great qualities gloria, nothing weird about them! I like that u put in effort to your answers :)

me: listen, you seem like a safe girl and someone worth getting to know. im not on this app much so shoot me a text at (my number) and say your name, if I dont respond quickly I am not purposely ignoring you, just busy with clients


Later that night:

her: Hey, it’s Gloria :)

I dont respond until the next day

me: Hey gloria, sorry I couldn't get back to u sooner
me: what are you up to, besides thinking of me and smiling? :)
her: No worries! what do you do for work btw? You mentioned you might be busy with clients.
her: If I wasn’t before, I definitely am now, this was cute ☺️ I’m just working rn looking forward to the long weekend lol
me: i work as a video editor so I often consult with clients to get a better idea of their vision, hbu?
me: im glad i made u smile i plan to do so a lot more when u get to meet me in person
her: Oh that’s cool! Is it for like promotional advertising or content creating?
her: I’m an estimator for a facility maintenance company :)
her: I can’t wait 😋
me: content creator
me: why are u sticking ur tongue out at me ur making blood rush to all the right areas 😜
her: Oh cool!
her: Is a little emoji all it takes? You boys are so easy lol
me: im not easy ur just tryna manipulate me with ur feminine charm
me: its ur fault
her: Lmaooo
her: I guess I should feel lucky we aren’t still holding Salem witch trials, huh?
me: oh id never rat on you, ill just punish u myself in the all the right ways ;)
me: whats your schedule look like this week?
her: Whew! You know how to make a girl curious. This got hot really fast 😅
her: Hmm pretty busy unfortunately. I’m getting ready to go out of town on Friday and don’t get back until Monday :/
me: i know a lot more than just making a girl curious 🤫 i will spoil it for all the other guys
me: going anywhere interesting?
her: I guess we’ll just have to see, won’t we?
her: It’s just a little beach vacation in Jensen Beach
me: yes we will
me: hmm hoping to meet sexy tanned men are we?
her: I’ll never say no to sexy tanned man lol
her: And if they have curly hair? Game overrrrrrr(shes describing me)
me: ill let u play with my hair if ur a good girl 😘
me: on second thought, id rather u be a bad girl
her: Lol you’re too much. Not that I don’t love the flirting but I loved the question you asked me earlier and would love to know your responses. What would you say are your 2 best qualities? Aside from your looks ;)
me: id say my sense of humour and intelligence
me: whats your schedule like for next week? lets grab a coffee/tea and see if the vibe is there
her: Next week is pretty open for me! I do go to the gym most nights but i should be Monday, Wednesday, or Friday :)
her: What area do you live in?
me: oh you like the gym? i got a home gym maybe we'll do a workout sometime
me: i live in x, hbu
me: how's monday 7pm we'll meet at the coffee spot and go from there
her: I love coffee so it sounds great to me!
her: Do you have a specific spot or is that what it’s called?
her: im in x :)
me: lets meet at this starbucks *link*
me: great! were gonna have so much fun
her: I appreciate you picking a spot for us. I like a guy who’s proactive lol
me: im very proactive, with me, you can just relax and enjoy the ride ;)
me: whats your ethnic background? i love your asian features and im curious
her: I am x, on both sides lol. But that’s actually not the first time I’ve been told I have Asian features. I get it a lot!
me: thats because you do have asian features ;)
me: x had a small migration of chinese workers back in the day and its very likely your family tree intertwined with some of this population which is what led to you having the features you do
me: Im x too, born and raised there until I was 9. where you born here or x? ever visited?
her: This is very plausible! I have always wanted to do one of those DNA tests. I’m actually 3rd generation x I should say. Both my parents were born in the US and I was born and raised in Miami.
her: I have never visited, I have actually only ever left the country on a cruise, i don’t even have a passport
me: you should do one, theyre a lot of fun. i did one a few years ago and it was interesting to learn where I came from
me: where did you go on ur cruise?
me: honey im falling asleep, lets chat more tmw
her: Goodnight :)
me: goodnight

Next day

me: morning 🌞
her: Good Morning :) how did you sleep?
me: like a king 🤴 hbu?
her: Damn you must have a really nice bed lol
her: I slept pretty nicely, no complaints
me: i do its very comfy, ill show it to u sometime ;)
me: glad to hear, you mustve been talking to a really awesome guy last night that had u go to bed with a smile
me: I myself was talking to this really sweet and cute x girl, she def helped my sleep
her: Definitely cute and a little nerdy lol talking about migration.
her: Damn any sweet dreams about her?
me: hmm in person ill tell u all about the 8 different kinds of orgasms a woman can have, im jealous ;)
me: yes I had a dream that me and her met and had an unforgettable time
me: wbu
her: Hm i think this would probably be better taught as a hands on demonstration.
me: I agree, experience is our best teacher, after all. but I will be using more than just my hands.
her: Lol you’ll have to get past our coffee date first
me: I know, i can tell were gonna have a great connection :)
me: what do u like to do on your off time?
her: I love to read and watch TikTok’s but lately I’ve been focusing on being more active lol so a lot of my time is spent at the gym or doing yoga on my patio. I’d love to get out and explore Miami a little bit more :) i haven’t lived here full time since I was 18 so i feel like i will be able to experience a wider variety of things. Wbu?
me: thats great that youre being more active, youll have to teach me yoga, and I can help u with your fitness if you like, smth we can do together :) as for me I like exercise, doing martial arts, playing games, etc
her: I’d love that! The only thing i don’t like doing with other people is running, i hate trying to match pace lol
me: lol no worries im not much of a runner
me: *send pic of me and my cat* send me a pic if u and ur kitty
her: I will! Sorry work got crazy just as I was leaving and then i rushed to the gym :)
her: *sends video* You got a video lol because he wouldn’t stay still
me: hes so cute
me: def not amused lol
her: He’s usually way more cuddly lol he just wasn’t happy with the way I was holding him
me: lol :)
me: what did u do at the gym
me: how was it
her: Today was leg day :) it was good, it’s my easier lower body day so it was pretty chill
her: how was your day?
me: my day was good, worked on a few projects and exercised as well
me: I love meaty thighs
me: gonna bite them
me: goodnight gloria im exhausted
her: lol i got plenty of thigh
her: Sorry I’m reading and I can get really drawn in :) i hope you have a good night
her: I want to hear more from you tomorrow so get your rest lol
me: likewise
me: sweet dreams 😴
me: and dont be sorry honey ur good

Next day

me: morning 🌞
her: Goooood morningggggg :)
me: someone woke up in a good mood
me: im curious why 😏
her: Lol It’s the freakin weekend babyyyyyyyy!
her: I may also have a delicious pumpkin spice latte in my hands and it’s reminding me that i have a coffee date with a cute boy in a few days
me: oh sounds fun ;) I also have a date with this fun girl that I have a great vibe with and when we meet fireworks gonna off 🧨🎇🎆
her: Lmaoo wait are we hyping this up too much?
me: yea irl im so boooring, ppl fall asleep when I talk im very insecure about it 😕
her: That’s why you wanted to go get coffee, so i don’t fall asleep!
her: I’m catching on to your master plan lmao
me: exactly ;)
her: Well if there’s one thing I’ve learned as an adult it’s that sleep is always an exciting prospect lol so don’t worry 😉
me: thats great honey cus ik a few ways of giving you the best sleep ever 😘
her: Lol yes your titillating conversation skills
her: I’m sorry that’s the last one 😂
me: lol silly
me: what are u up to besides thinking of our date and smiling?
her: Currently in a car on the way to the beach *sends pic in the car showing her thighs*
me: get your tan on! are u with family?
me: you werent lying, you have lovely thighs, just missing a few bite marks ;)
her: Yeah it’s a small family trip with my mom and my sister
her: Don’t worry I’ll keep the canvas blank for ya lol
me: good girl 😘😜
me: enjoy your time with your fam cutie dont get in too much trouble
her: lol shut up! You can’t say that to me rn 😅
her: Ill try, no promises ;)
me: oh getting worked up and tingly are we? payback for making me have to masturbate so i could concentrate 😜
her: Lol i didn’t do anything! It’s not my fault you fall so easily for my feminine charm
me: im vulnerable.. and u keep trying to take advantage of me 🙈
me: thats it. im stepping my foot down. i will not let pretty girls objectify me any longer
me: so dont even try anything young lady
me: what were you reading so intently last night?
her: Lol how are you vulnerable? Also I’m pretty sure you started this entire thing
her: I’m a good girl, you even said so, so idk what you’re talking about lol
her: I was reading a romance/fantasy book, one of my favorite genres
me: hmm a good girl that likes to entice me with her sexy thighs ;)
me: cool, i enjoy reading quite a bit would love for you to introduce me to your favorite books
her: I may or may not haveeeeeeee
her: Do you have any fun weekend plans?
her: I wouldn’t want to corrupt you or take advantage of you in your vulnerable state
me: lol those books are tame compared to me darling
me: yea going to the arcade with some friends then the club
me: are you staying at a beach house? what else will u be doing other than getting a wicked tan?
her: Lol we’ll have to see about that….. anywho i hope you have fun, i haven’t been to a club in so long, i love dancing!
her: I’m really trying to relax and be super lazy so I’m just gonna read all day i think. I am trying to catch the uf Vs um game tomorrow so I’m probably going to go to the bar in the hotel to watch it
her: Oo might also do some yoga on the beach
me: yoga on the beach sounds awesome. and I love having days where you just chill and do your own thing with peace and quiet, enjoy it
me: thank you, whats your favorite type of music to dance to?
her: Lol just like every other girl i love me some 90-00’s hip hop and R&B hits
her: It’s so nostalgic but it’s also the best club music in my opinion. I love dancing to salsa merengue and bachata but i get a little nervous because I’m not the best at it
her: Lol sorry the wine is hitting so the yapping is starting. Please have a fun night for me, drink and dance and have the best time
me: youre so sweet when youre buzzed it warms my heart, you can "yap" all you want im here for it, and thank you I will!
me: thats great music, if we hit it off in person id love to put on some spanish tunes sometime and we can dance in private so you can develop more confidence, no judgement here :)

Next day

her: That sounds like a great time to me :) do you live at home or by yourself? Or roommates?
me: morning 🌞
me: i love alone, hbu?
her: I live with my mom, i recently moved in to support her financially. Rent in Miami is crazyyyyyy
her: Good morning :) how was your night?
me: thats so sweet of you to help your mom out like that. you must really care for her
me: and yea, rent aint easy. im grateful to have what I have
me: i had a fun night, cant complain :p, hows today looking like for you?
her: Today is good, i definitely got some sun.
her: Might go grab some drinks later at the bar
me: so youre gonna have a cute little tan for me on monday? cant wait ;)
her: Lol what if i walk in looking like a crab instead?
me: well I think crab is delicious ;)
her: *sends crab gif* what are u up to?
me: i am working on a video project I gotta finish by tmw, hbu?
me: just curious,from a scale of 1-10 how happy are you in life?
her: I would say about a 7.5 almost 8. I’m very grateful for the things i have and know that my life could be a lot worse, I could be broke , i could be separated from my family but I’m not. I gave myself a lower score just because there are goals/wishes that I want to achieve that i just haven’t been able to due to life circumstances lol
me: good answer, you seem like a genuine down to earth girl and I like that a lot. what would take that number to a 10 for u?
her: I want to be able to get my mom and I a house, especially my mom, it’s her dream. I want to meet a really good guy and fall in love. I want to go back to school and get my masters and find passion in a career. Lol this is probably a lot of people’s dreams
her: What about you? I’d love to hear about your goals
me: those are great goals, as for me id like to have a family of my own within the next 10 years, continue improving myself in life, and live with peace
me: what is your dream career?
her: I’m not sure I’ve found it yet, i thought it was mental health counselling because i like helping people for sure, but i think i would be happy with anything where i got to interact with others lol
her: I like these goals lol I’m going to copy you and add them to my list lol
her: are you currently in your dream career?
me: counseling is a great career, it's very fulfilling to help other people. did you go to school for psychology then? i plan to start school for psych soon, im passionate about it
me: sorry didnt see this until now, I would say so yea
me: when u get to know me im gonna bring that number up to a 12 at the very least ;)
her: That’s awesome! I studied sociology :) it’s a little different than psychology but we also study people
me: oh cool, no wonder ur an expert at sexually manipulating me 🙈
her: Lol i think it’s still up for debate on who’s sexually manipulating who here
her: but i dont mind it ;)
me: im innocent!
me: its u and ur sexy thighs
me: i scrolled up and looked at them today and blood started rushing to the fun areas 🤭
her: Lol are you going to combust on Monday?
me: maybe, do you enjoy the thought of me com*busting*?
her: It doesn’t hurtttttt to know you find me attractive but I’m pretty sure you would combust if the wind blew against you in a certain way, you’re a guy 😉😂😂
her: I also find you attractive btw, you are very handsome ;) so it’s 100% not one sided
me: well im not really a horn dog constantly on the verge of cumming, its only when I feel a connection with a girl that I think about enjoying her in that way and pleasing her thoroughly in all the ways I know
me: thank you 😘
her: This could make a girl combust
her: These words mean more than any sexual comment
her: Honestly that’s what i find more flattering because i feel like guys can tend to give sexual throw away comments and it makes me feel like they only want one thing, you know?
me: yea ik. but for me I personally cant be sexually open with a girl unless I like her as a person first, because to me theyre not just throw away comments, I feel a certain passion and genuine desire when I say those words and I dont talk to most girls like that before we meet so I just think we got a great vibe and I cant wait to for us to enjoy each others company on our date
her: That’s good to know, i am very excited to meet you in person and just talk to you. You ask really good questions and seem to have a genuine interest in getting to know me. You are also a down to earth guy and that’s really hot 😉
me: thank you baby youre really sweet, i love this comment 😘😘
her: I’m going to go to bed with my book now :) were you able to finish your project?
me: yes i was :) enjoy your book honey, i am going to bed as well
me: goodnight
her: Good night :)

Next day

me: afternoon 🌞
her: Hey, did you sleep okay?
me: i did :) slept a little extra today so I couldnt tell u good morning, I didnt forget
me: how did u sleep and what have u been up to today darling?
her: I’m glad you got some extra sleep, and I’m glad to hear from you at any time of the day 😉
her: I slept pretty nicely, unfortunately it raining so I’m kind of just resting inside at the moment. I’d rather be outside soaking up the sun ☀️
her: what about you?
me: its been raining here too ive been breaking a sweat in my gym trying to look sexy for tmw ;)
me: oh really?
me: please tell me more about;)
her: Oh la la, for me?
her: I, on the other hand have been snacking nonstop
her: I fell asleep lol but you know i enjoy talking to you
her: Omg i was already sleepy because i was lying in bed, not because of you lmaoooooo
me: its alright silly I understand lol
me: looks like u needed some extra beauty sleep
her: What did you work out today? Are you pumped up for tomorrow?
me: I worked out shoulders and arms
me: they are def pumped, you wont be able to keep ur hands off me 😜
her: Lol I’m going to keep two hands on my coffee cup. We want you to keep your innocence in tact, i apparently have already taken advantage of you enough.
me: cant take advantage of me when the feelings mutual ;)
me: just curious, whats your best childhood memory?
her: Hmm i don’t have one but a lot of them are revolved around the kitchen. Cooking and enjoying food with my mom and abuela. My abuela used to sit me on the counter while she cut food or prepared dinner. Her and my mom taught me everything i know in the kitchen
her: What about you?
me: Those are great memories, for me I remember a lot when I was little my parents, siblings and I would travel from coast to coast in cuba going to hotels and beach houses, lot of good memories from those times
me: so would you say youre a good cook then? what is your favorite food to make?
her: Oh that’s amazing :) core memories. Do you like to travel?
her: I would say I’m okay, i just love it because i feel like that’s how I’ve retained most of my culture. I love making Hispanic food in general not just Cuban, i love baking birria tacos, baleadas, and Italian food like pasta sauces from scratch. Really anything except seafood, it is not my fav lol
me: thank you, yea I do
me: That sounds delicious ive never had those foods u mentioned before, I love that youre well rounded in your cooking knowledge and id like to try some of your magic some day
me: whats the best place youve traveled to?
her: Hmm probably within the the us so far, California has been my favorite, the mountains there are beautiful. My dad and i drove the pch and the view was breath taking
her: like come on look at this this *sends picture of her in the mountains*
me: that looks so peaceful and beautiful, I feel like that place would just instantly relax you and bring you joy
me: is there somewhere that you wish you could travel to if you had the chance?
her: Europe! I want to go to Greece, Italy, Germany, Norway and then Asia, i really want to go to Japan. All over the map babyyyy lol i just feel like i have sheltered my self in terms of travelling and really want to expose myself to different cultures and the food! Dude the food would be so amazing i want to try everything h
me: Oh yea, its a beautiful to experience different cultures, the world should be explored and our experiences expanded. Make sure that when you travel always take the time to visit outside of the popular city/tourist area so you can really understand how their people live ;)
her: That is exactly what i want :)
her: does your family still live in miami?
me: great minds think alike ;)
me: my mom and sister live in chicago
her: Oh okay, what made you stay in Miami?
me: so I cute meet pretty cuban girls like you ;)
me: on the real, cus I like the weather and the people, I enjoy it here
me: would you live somewhere else if you could choose?
her: The exact opposite of you lol I think i would like to live a little further up north, i like when it gets cold and where there’s less people. Ultimately tho it doesn’t matter as long as i have a good job and a good support system
me: you like when it gets cold so u can have an excuse to cuddle with your bf 😏
me: well im not so different cus for settling down I would prefer a more quiet area and not as packed, with some land and a few animals
her: Lol if a man was my boyfriend i wouldn’t need an excuse to could them… i hope
me: true
her: Yeahhhhh, i like dat. I have some family in Ocala and they were able to buy houses with a nice property and got some animals
me: pretty sweet
me: gonna sleep soon gotta get up early tmw, goodnight 🌚

Day of date

me: morning 🌞
her: Good Morning :) i just got back to Miami. How did you sleep?
me: i slept great cus I knew I had a great and fun day ahead of me with a nice girl
me: hows it feel to be back in miami after your vacation?
her: It’s good, I’m going to the gym. It’s my turn to get pumped for our date lol
me: im looking forward to it 😜
me: what u workin out today
her: 😂 it is also back and biceps for me.
me: ohh ur gonna give me a strong hug today ;)
her: The strongest, how else am i going to show off my muscles?
me: well, ill have to judge how strong ur squeeze is with your thighs 😉
her: 🙈🙈🙈
her: I wonder if you are this flirty in person
me: only one way to find out
me: (2hours later i got insecure she didnt respond thought I did smth wrong) i was taking a nap so my response wasnt too enthusiastic, but I am also excited to find out how u are irl
me: I hope u wear smth cute and casual on our date 😘
her: Lol no worries I’ve been doing some chores for the week
her: I’m coming in a onesie
me: thats hot 😳
her: Do onesies get you going? Noted
me: its good thinking by you, theyre very easy to remove later on and youll be comfortable in bed 😘
me: im getting ready, lmk when ur on ur way
her: I’m on my way lol should be there in like 20 minutes?
me: perfect
me: Omw there in 8
me: here yet?
her: Yeah i got here a few minutes ago :)
me: meet outside starbucks
her: I’m home :)
me: thanks for letting me know! i really enjoyed hanging out with you Gloria :)
her: You to Carlos ❤️I’m probably going to read until I fall asleep, good night!
me: goodnight 🌚
 

Francis

Cro-Magnon Man
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Nice! Re: this part...

her: Damn any sweet dreams about her?
me: hmm in person ill tell u all about the 8 different kinds of orgasms a woman can have, im jealous ;)
me: yes I had a dream that me and her met and had an unforgettable time
me: wbu
her: Hm i think this would probably be better taught as a hands on demonstration.
me: I agree, experience is our best teacher, after all. but I will be using more than just my hands.
her: Lol you’ll have to get past our coffee date first
me: I know, i can tell were gonna have a great connection :)
me: what do u like to do on your off time?

I'd be curious to hear what Skills thinks if it's jumping the gun, but I wonder if this was a missed escalation window where you could have skipped the coffee date and instead gone straight to planning the meet at your place.

That is a pretty forward move on her part taking the lead. I know she went back to resisting saying you have to pass the coffee date first, but I wonder if that was because you didn't take the window.

Hypothetically, if you did want to risk taking that route, I would not get too excited at it, since it's also sort of a test. But instead tease her like hey slow down I have to assess you as a a worthy student first. And invite her for iced tea or a drink in your living room to get to know each other better before you share your secrets with her.
 

justonemoreperson

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@Francis Not sure but I did secure a date with her today for wine and dinner at my place this weekend so this is basically in the bag.
 

justonemoreperson

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@Francis Not sure but I did secure a date with her today for wine and dinner at my place this weekend so this is basically in the bag.

Spoke too soon. I had sent a text earlier that day, it was a one liner, she never responded but I got insecure and thought I had said something that made her feel negatively, so I sent another text later saying I didnt mean it in a bad way, and she responded in the morning saying that we had a great time monday but she's leaving in a few months and she doesnt have the time and attention to give me and that its not fair to me, then blocked me.

This is a recurring problem with me and I dont know how to fix it. I need to perhaps have more things going with my life so I dont become so invested in girls I like. At least this time around it doesn't sting me quite as much. It just sucks that I can't seem to see why saying that stuff would be wrong in the moment.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

justonemoreperson

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I just started laughed at myself for putting myself in these situations. Old me wouldve been banging his head on the wall and calling myself names, drinking the pain away, but not today.

My self-image is making strides, slowly but surely. My sense of self worth is being destroyed by some silly failure anymore, there's plenty of women out there for me to like and have something with.

If I may get a little personal, I believe that I have an inner longing for love, because I didn't receive that as a child and thus I end up subconsciously seeking that from girls I'm into and stuff gets weird fast and my cool charismatic edge fades into something much less attractive.

I think with more time and exposure I may be able to weed out this behavior. I am certainly not gonna give up.
 

Francis

Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
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Hmm honestly I'm not too sure man. Did you start coaching with Skills?

I can definitely relate to that inner longing. About a year ago I was projecting conflicting vibes to women. I had a tinder date where we went for a walk in the park, then I dropped her off and asked to use her bathroom. She was about to move out of town and jumped at letting me up. Then I got up there and spent too much time talking about her bookshelf because she was a really pretty, cool, intelligent girl who had just finished her Masters. He brother had turned down going on tour with Drake as a sound engineer. I had missed an escalation window in her bedroom and once I went to the bathroom and kept on the deep diving it was done. I tried to kiss her and she wouldn't accept it.

I think what happened was she sensed I was too into her. She had a few weeks left in town and I think she just wanted to get fucked and not get into any feelings. Even though she probably felt I would escalate to sex then and there, it was just too complicated and her emotions closed her off. I think it was what @Teevster terms Female State Control.

Around the same time I got another girl to my place and we were making out on my bed. It was another case where she was moving away soon and her legs were closed tight. In this case she actually verbalized to me that I was confusing to her. Most guys are either a nice guy or a fuck boy, but I was playing the middle game in terms of vibe. Skills says to go ambiguous more lover with some hints of possible boyfriend future to keep it ambiguous. But I think I needed more lover vibes, then show more boyfriend side after the sex to increase retention. Being too romantic and such before the lay seems to cause problems.

Again around the same time I had a girl over who would kiss, but wouldn't move to the bedroom with me. She later told me she was worried about getting attached to me in that moment and that I smelled like pussy. I don't know if she meant figuratively or literally but it could have been either on that particular day haha. She came over again not long after and I got the lay. She said because she got too horny once I slipped my finger in her pants. We ended up falling in love and spent about seven months together in a one side monogamy situation and ended up really breaking each other's hearts. Despite how upfront I was, she just knew I was not going to progress the relationship and expressed what I would describe as the Sword of Damocles throughout the relationship. I am still reeling from the loss every day. I was needy for love and have not built my skill set up yet. We fell in deep because she had even more of a need for love.

So I have to admit, reading your report I was thinking in my head "this girl could see you as her boyfriend". Why would she not go home with you to meet your cats from the parking lot? I think because she liked you too much. She was controlling herself so she would not hurt herself. I think she blocked you out of self protection. I do not have the experience to say for sure though.

So unfortunately yes, I think the key is to move faster and focus on getting the lay. Once she cums and cuddles, you will get that affection you are craving, but not before. You will have to be just slightly less into her than she is into you to keep it on the edge of attainability.

Maybe if you had persisted more in the parking lot to get her home it could have worked. Chase has written about the hard push where he literally keeps at it several times in a non needy way to get the girl to move with him. This is a key component of attractiveness, being the type of guy who keeps going without being phased by it. Unfortunately in this case you must keep going from macro perspective, and not with this single girl.

So keep going!
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Messages
4,519
Spoke too soon. I had sent a text earlier that day, it was a one liner, she never responded but I got insecure and thought I had said something that made her feel negatively, so I sent another text later saying I didnt mean it in a bad way, and she responded in the morning saying that we had a great time monday but she's leaving in a few months and she doesnt have the time and attention to give me and that its not fair to me, then blocked me.

This is a recurring problem with me and I dont know how to fix it. I need to perhaps have more things going with my life so I dont become so invested in girls I like. At least this time around it doesn't sting me quite as much. It just sucks that I can't seem to see why saying that stuff would be wrong in the moment.
yeah that is female behavior passive aggressive shit...
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Messages
4,519
some points:

- your plausible deniability about the cat was done at the wrong point of the interaction.... I do this when i clearly know she is a go, for example i would have waited to the final bounce (3rd) do some type of sexual frames/sex talk etc... or physical type of escalations or both, to the point were i know she is a clear go... once you do that, then that is when you can use, about going home to see the cats, aka your timing was not optimal/ideal... Based on dates...

-fingering i would not have done in public, but on isolation aka sex location not in public since you could not have transition to sex on that location (that was a mistake as well).... Read this post for context:

 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Nice! Re: this part...



I'd be curious to hear what Skills thinks if it's jumping the gun, but I wonder if this was a missed escalation window where you could have skipped the coffee date and instead gone straight to planning the meet at your place.

That is a pretty forward move on her part taking the lead. I know she went back to resisting saying you have to pass the coffee date first, but I wonder if that was because you didn't take the window.

Hypothetically, if you did want to risk taking that route, I would not get too excited at it, since it's also sort of a test. But instead tease her like hey slow down I have to assess you as a a worthy student first. And invite her for iced tea or a drink in your living room to get to know each other better before you share your secrets with her.

no! she was flirting gauging herself/kind of shit testing, if the guys get too exited may cause asd at time of meet... Read this post and examples for context:

 

Francis

Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
383
no! she was flirting gauging herself/kind of shit testing, if the guys get too exited may cause asd at time of meet... Read this post and examples for context:

Yeah makes sense.

How do you tell the difference if she's actually DTF from online?

Do you ever take that risk, or always meet for a 3-bounce date to "see if the vibe is there" etc. for higher odds?
 

justonemoreperson

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Apr 28, 2019
Messages
15
no! she was flirting gauging herself/kind of shit testing, if the guys get too exited may cause asd at time of meet..

This is huge actually... I'm pretty sure that I pushed ob the sexuality a bit too hard over text... I was seeing what my boundaries were like and even on our coffee date right at the beginning she mentioned she was just having coffee with me. On our day of the date you can see in the texting that she mentions wearing a onesie and I say I like onesies cus they are easy to take off and comfortable in bed, she didnt respond to that.. I even felt at the time that it was the wrong timing to talk about so close to the date. I also deep dove this girl a lot during text and maybe that made her think of me as more as a potential boyfriend. All that plus not taking her to an isolated venue aided in me not getting the lay, still though I couldve probably persisted in some way or done the 8 types of orgasm line in that parking lot to get her green light.

I have a date for tomorrow with this cute french girl and I've kept the convos bantery and flirty, light. no asking her about her job or school or anything boring.

because part of the reason why I mucked things up with this last girl is I feel this need that if I am not constantly texting them they will lose interest or get weirded out.

but if she already accepted a date proposal I just gotta keep it cool until then, stop trying so damn hard. she's already interested.

learning to be more stoic... for instance when a girl doesnt respond for a few hours I start thinking that I said something wrong or she thinks im boring etc... but almost every time she eventually gets back to me and apologizes and says she was busy etc... i actually think that they grow attracted at the fact that u are not chasing her thru text. but on the other hand, every time I get needy or whatever and double text it always backfires.

I will improve upon my issues and bang this french cutie tmw!
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Yeah makes sense.

How do you tell the difference if she's actually DTF from online?

Do you ever take that risk, or always meet for a 3-bounce date to "see if the vibe is there" etc. for higher odds?
lol 90% of online are dtf i would say 95% you mean the ones to pull home without dates, you tailor your profile more fuckboish, the thing is you lose a lot of leads like that.... But yea safer to meet somewhere else, to avoid asd or flakes...... But some girls you can feel they are down to just come home, you get a feel for it with time........ But i like increasing odds meeting somewhere else even dtf, some guys want to screen harder and have girls just come straight over you go straight over (i used to do this back in the days), a lot more texting involve with sexual frames etc..... Again you can calibrate, i can tell based on the text interactions she was not down she said "you need to get pass coffee" or some shit like that, after...

there are also some girls you fuck, you get greedy, and you want to have come straight over, and some get asd... Happened to op btw... lost a girl like this...
 

Francis

Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
383
lol 90% of online are dtf i would say 95% you mean the ones to pull home without dates, you tailor your profile more fuckboish, the thing is you lose a lot of leads like that.... But yea safer to meet somewhere else, to avoid asd or flakes...... But some girls you can feel they are down to just come home, you get a feel for it with time........ But i like increasing odds meeting somewhere else even dtf, some guys want to screen harder and have girls just come straight over you go straight over (i used to do this back in the days), a lot more texting involve with sexual frames etc..... Again you can calibrate, i can tell based on the text interactions she was not down she said "you need to get pass coffee" or some shit like that, after...

there are also some girls you fuck, you get greedy, and you want to have come straight over, and some get asd... Happened to op btw... lost a girl like this...
Thanks Skills, yeah I did mean super bright green, down to booty call. I will play around with it. I would ideally like to be able to do both ways depending on the situation, like more screening when only in town for one night for time efficiency.
 

Skills

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Thanks Skills, yeah I did mean super bright green, down to booty call. I will play around with it. I would ideally like to be able to do both ways depending on the situation, like more screening when only in town for one night for time efficiency.
You can gauge soft closing comming over... If she gives objection, you can say you can bring the pepper spray...if she keeps objecting say i understand too many creepers have ruin it for guys like me... I got you! Lets meet at blah blah
 

alexlaguma

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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because part of the reason why I mucked things up with this last girl is I feel this need that if I am not constantly texting them they will lose interest or get weirded out.

but if she already accepted a date proposal I just gotta keep it cool until then, stop trying so damn hard. she's already interested.

Yeh, reading through your text exchanged this was my impression. Seems like you've figured that out as well.

Think about it from their perspective. You've never met her, yet you're texting her a huge amount for several days. She will (at least subconsciously) realise that you are too invested in this, and she will wonder why. I tend to think less is more, it subcommunicates you've got other shit going on and you're not that invested yet.

Btw, this is not a criticism. I used to do this shit a lot, especially with online.
 

Francis

Cro-Magnon Man
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You can gauge soft closing comming over... If she gives objection, you can say you can bring the pepper spray...if she keeps objecting say i understand too many creepers have ruin it for guys like me... I got you! Lets meet at blah blah
Solid! Thanks!!

Good ol' soft close
 
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