HiS Journal

[skin_man]

Location of this Outing: Africa

An entire day indoors resulted in me being rather introverted so I stood up, dressed in a sweater and left the house. A few hot spots are in town during the day, I thought I should look at them to get a feel for what they would seem like at night.

#1 Approach
I crossed the street and at the other side of the junction was this babe in a yellow top and jeans. I like ass so I glanced at it under the street lamp and decided to go talk to her anyways. As I got to her side, we were adjacent to each other: me positioned like I was just passing by and her like she was going to walk past me in a Tee direction.

Me: How far?
She: *squint and look at me* Fine.
Me: What made you do your face like that? *slow smile
She: I’m surprised. *looking away*
Me: About what?
She: You just came to talk to me and I don’t know you. *looking back at me in the eyes*
Me: That’s how I meet people. *said with a matter of fact tone but looking in her eyes briefly*
Me: Are you from area? I hear this street is much busier than before and it has many of the best restaurants I town. *her reply showed me that she was REALLY displaced by this street chat-up*
She: Uh, so how’s that a thing? *What?*
Me: Hey, tell me, what is the best place to be at on a Tuesday evening?
She: best place? *puzzled look*
Me: Yes, where one can relax, like a restaurant or bar, there’s food and drinks but you don’t need to buy any of it.
She: …
Me: Do you know any good place to go to on Tuesday? *death knell*
She: No! *walks off to board a bike*

I stood for a few seconds, now holding my phone in my hand (it was a knee-jerk response after she walked off); looking at it, I must keep my nervous activities to the minimum when out especially since it plays on my overall carriage. She passed by me and didn’t say a word and I didn’t look in her direction.

#2 Approach
Strutting on, I came by another junction with a barbecue stand burning across from me and what looked like a bar in the bleakness. As I walked closer, the cozy look of the bar got me more intrigued – hadn’t seen this place before. I walked to the entrance and peeked in to take a quick glance, then came out a bit. Two ladies passed by me so I simply said “hi” and one of them looked at me and replied. Then I walked into the bar and saw a seat free with just a lady seating in it. Once I came in, she picked her phone to answer a call. I think this was a false move because she may or have felt shy about sitting but herself so had to put on a show. Some girls have this tendency when they feel that a guy is nearby to act slightly aloof and only very bold guys would approach a girl who has a phone to her ear – after all, you’re not the one she is talking to and it shows. Many times, I just ask them to drop the call and talk to me – yeah!

A few seconds seating on the seat right behind her, I see the bartender and she has a really sweet looking skirt. I think to chat her up but leave it off. Getting up, I walk back to the other girl and:

Me: How far? *my opening line for the night, been saying it with a sort of drawl*
She: Fine. Good evening.
Me: Let me ask you something very quickly. *I sit down*
Me: First, are you from this area?
She: Is that the question you want to ask me?
Me: It’s part of the question.
She: No I am not.
Me: Okay, tell me, if you were standing by that junction over there and a guy came and said “how far” to you, what would you do?
She: I would reply him because it would be the matured thing to do – show respect.
Me: What if he was asking you because he liked you and not just cause of respect?
She:*smiling now* I would also answer him just to hear what he has to say, but it’s not compulsory.
Me: *ooh, got you b!tch* What is not compulsory? Look at how you said it, as if he liking you is something weird. *said with a smile of course*
She: *shaking head* well it’s just the way he would talk you have to listen to him just to be matured but it’s not compulsory to like him back.
Me: *feeling like I had gotten some way with her* Okay. I have to go soon since my friends are waiting for me but what brought you to town since you’re not from this area.
She: I am not from this area but I stay at [mentions address]. *looking back, this was a CLEAR ESCALATION WINDOW. Was too hasty: no warm up before gaming causes this.*
Me: Okay. Do you know anywhere that is good to go on Thursday? *same mistake as last time*
She: No *shaking head*

Darn! I leave at once.

#3 Approach
I would judge this as coming better than the first two since she was better socially attuned though still surprised at the evening time approach slightly.

Me: *Walking past her* How far?
She: *looking at me*I’m ok. *looks at me a bit longer*
Me: I just saw you and I thought I should come and talk to you, you look …
She: I don’t get you. *lifting things from the bike*
Me: I don’t know if you’re from around here. Which area are you from?
She: I am not from here.
Me: Okay well *said with much hand gestures* since you’re here, we should meet up in town this week, both of us.
She: *goes quiet paying the bike man – THIS IS NOT A BLOW OFF!* Do you have change for 500? *said to the biker*
Me: *changing subject* I’m pressed for time a bit. This street is busier than normal; there are several places that are active now in the evenings.
She: eh? *taking her last few things from the bike.
Me: What’s the best place to go on a Tuesday evening?
She: I don’t know, I’m a stranger here.
Me: Okay, so let’s exchange numbers and meet up later this week.
She: I don’t know. I’m here to see someone. *walking away*
Me: oh yeah?
She: *no response*

I walk away.

#4 Approach
Walking up to her, her ass was facing the street and I could see the side curve.

Me: How far?
She: *looks at me and walks off*
Me: You no dey greet?
She: Dat na greeting? You no fit talk good evening or blah blah *now turned in my direction*
Me: The reason why I *lifting my hand to grab her elbow slightly – she shakes it off, I continue* greet you good evening na because I dey wonder if I fit chance for just two of us this evening.
She: *Without blinking* You know say my last brother, the one wey follow me old pass you?
Me: *cheeky smile* Wetin dem dey call you?
She* She walks away*
Me: You may not get this chance again oo.

I keep walking. Maybe her objection would have turned into a full blown debate as we would be throwing frames at each other had it been I said: “and so what?” following her last statement.

#5 Approach
Saw her walking on the opposite side of the road and waited a bit. I saw her adjust her clothes – sign of self consciousness. I slow my pace and she glances around the street, about to cross. I walk even slower, looking ahead I see group of guys looking at her. She crosses and none say a word to her so I interject:

Me: I just saw you there and was thinking of coming to talk to you.
She: *looking at me and walking*
Me: How are you?
She: Fine *cute wave and smile – GREAT!*

POINTERS FOR NEXT TIME
In no particular order, there are certain important things that must cover each outing from henceforth:
- About an hour warm up, talking to and conversing with several people, not just girls. This has the stunning effect of setting me up in a social mood that makes the actual pick up time more productive; think about sharpening the blade of the axe before slicing at the firewood.
- Move them whenever possible. Take their hand, seek investment with questions, pointing in directions and even being silent to see their reactions. These are always going to be a part of it.
- Have a conversation outline ready with a list or at least a target number of things to talk about. These can be tested during the actual pickup. Before this, the conversation can be general and anywhere but once the pickup time begins, we can follow the outline.
- Nervousness shown in looking down and shaky eye contact must be well severed before beginning. Pull out phone only after you have an agreed place where you would be seeing each other next. As you know, this would reduce flaking and keep the call purposeful.

Enjoy!

 

[skin_man]

perfectly frozen on learning curve

Location: Africa

An entire day indoors resulted in me being rather introverted so I stood up, dressed in a sweater and left the house. A few hot spots are in town during the day, I thought I should look at them to get a feel for what they would seem like at night.

#1 Approach
I crossed the street and at the other side of the junction was this babe in a yellow top and jeans. I like ass so I glanced at it under the street lamp and decided to go talk to her anyways. As I got to her side, we were adjacent to each other: me positioned like I was just passing by and her like she was going to walk past me in a Tee direction.

Me: How far?
She: *squint and look at me* Fine.
Me: What made you do your face like that? *slow smile
She: I’m surprised. *looking away*
Me: About what?
She: You just came to talk to me and I don’t know you. *looking back at me in the eyes*
Me: That’s how I meet people. *said with a matter of fact tone but looking in her eyes briefly*
Me: Are you from area? I hear this street is much busier than before and it has many of the best restaurants I town. *her reply showed me that she was REALLY displaced by this street chat-up*
She: Uh, so how’s that a thing? *What?*
Me: Hey, tell me, what is the best place to be at on a Tuesday evening?
She: best place? *puzzled look*
Me: Yes, where one can relax, like a restaurant or bar, there’s food and drinks but you don’t need to buy any of it.
She: …
Me: Do you know any good place to go to on Tuesday? *death knell*
She: No! *walks off to board a bike*

I stood for a few seconds, now holding my phone in my hand (it was a knee-jerk response after she walked off); looking at it, I must keep my nervous activities to the minimum when out especially since it plays on my overall carriage. She passed by me and didn’t say a word and I didn’t look in her direction.

#2 Approach
Strutting on, I came by another junction with a barbecue stand burning across from me and what looked like a bar in the bleakness. As I walked closer, the cozy look of the bar got me more intrigued – hadn’t seen this place before. I walked to the entrance and peeked in to take a quick glance, then came out a bit. Two ladies passed by me so I simply said “hi” and one of them looked at me and replied. Then I walked into the bar and saw a seat free with just a lady seating in it. Once I came in, she picked her phone to answer a call. I think this was a false move because she may or have felt shy about sitting but herself so had to put on a show. Some girls have this tendency when they feel that a guy is nearby to act slightly aloof and only very bold guys would approach a girl who has a phone to her ear – after all, you’re not the one she is talking to and it shows. Many times, I just ask them to drop the call and talk to me – yeah!

A few seconds seating on the seat right behind her, I see the bartender and she has a really sweet looking skirt. I think to chat her up but leave it off. Getting up, I walk back to the other girl and:

Me: How far? *my opening line for the night, been saying it with a sort of drawl*
She: Fine. Good evening.
Me: Let me ask you something very quickly. *I sit down*
Me: First, are you from this area?
She: Is that the question you want to ask me?
Me: It’s part of the question.
She: No I am not.
Me: Okay, tell me, if you were standing by that junction over there and a guy came and said “how far” to you, what would you do?
She: I would reply him because it would be the matured thing to do – show respect.
Me: What if he was asking you because he liked you and not just cause of respect?
She:*smiling now* I would also answer him just to hear what he has to say, but it’s not compulsory.
Me: *ooh, got you b!tch* What is not compulsory? Look at how you said it, as if he liking you is something weird. *said with a smile of course*
She: *shaking head* well it’s just the way he would talk you have to listen to him just to be matured but it’s not compulsory to like him back.
Me: *feeling like I had gotten some way with her* Okay. I have to go soon since my friends are waiting for me but what brought you to town since you’re not from this area.
She: I am not from this area but I stay at [mentions address]. *looking back, this was a CLEAR ESCALATION WINDOW. Was too hasty: no warm up before gaming causes this.*
Me: Okay. Do you know anywhere that is good to go on Thursday? *same mistake as last time*
She: No *shaking head*

Darn! I leave at once.

#3 Approach
I would judge this as coming better than the first two since she was better socially attuned though still surprised at the evening time approach slightly.

Me: *Walking past her* How far?
She: *looking at me*I’m ok. *looks at me a bit longer*
Me: I just saw you and I thought I should come and talk to you, you look …
She: I don’t get you. *lifting things from the bike*
Me: I don’t know if you’re from around here. Which area are you from?
She: I am not from here.
Me: Okay well *said with much hand gestures* since you’re here, we should meet up in town this week, both of us.
She: *goes quiet paying the bike man – THIS IS NOT A BLOW OFF!* Do you have change for 500? *said to the biker*
Me: *changing subject* I’m pressed for time a bit. This street is busier than normal; there are several places that are active now in the evenings.
She: eh? *taking her last few things from the bike.
Me: What’s the best place to go on a Tuesday evening?
She: I don’t know, I’m a stranger here.
Me: Okay, so let’s exchange numbers and meet up later this week.
She: I don’t know. I’m here to see someone. *walking away*
Me: oh yeah?
She: *no response*

I walk away.

#4 Approach
Walking up to her, her ass was facing the street and I could see the side curve.

Me: How far?
She: *looks at me and walks off*
Me: You no dey greet?
She: Dat na greeting? You no fit talk good evening or blah blah *now turned in my direction*
Me: The reason why I *lifting my hand to grab her elbow slightly – she shakes it off, I continue* greet you good evening na because I dey wonder if I fit chance for just two of us this evening.
She: *Without blinking* You know say my last brother, the one wey follow me old pass you?
Me: *cheeky smile* Wetin dem dey call you?
She* She walks away*
Me: You may not get this chance again oo.

I keep walking. Maybe her objection would have turned into a full blown debate as we would be throwing frames at each other had it been I said: “and so what?” following her last statement.

#5 Approach
Saw her walking on the opposite side of the road and waited a bit. I saw her adjust her clothes – sign of self consciousness. I slow my pace and she glances around the street, about to cross. I walk even slower, looking ahead I see group of guys looking at her. She crosses and none say a word to her so I interject:

Me: I just saw you there and was thinking of coming to talk to you.
She: *looking at me and walking*
Me: How are you?
She: Fine *cute wave and smile – GREAT!*

POINTERS FOR NEXT TIME
In no particular order, there are certain important things that must cover each outing from henceforth:
- About an hour warm up, talking to and conversing with several people, not just girls. This has the stunning effect of setting me up in a social mood that makes the actual pick up time more productive; think about sharpening the blade of the axe before slicing at the firewood.
- Move them whenever possible. Take their hand, seek investment with questions, pointing in directions and even being silent to see their reactions. These are always going to be a part of it.
- Have a conversation outline ready with a list or at least a target number of things to talk about. These can be tested during the actual pickup. Before this, the conversation can be general and anywhere but once the pickup time begins, we can follow the outline.
- Nervousness shown in looking down and shaky eye contact must be well severed before beginning. Pull out phone only after you have an agreed place where you would be seeing each other next. As you know, this would reduce flaking and keep the call purposeful.

Enjoy!

 

[skin_man]

Almost kicked myself

I should have spoke to her; I thought about her time with the higher-ups at the office.

She got downstairs, was looking my way. I read it; She was far from where I was sitting.

I should have gotten up from the other meeting and gone to speak to her; she was beside her friend.

I should go talk to her now; shit! - she already left.

Moral of the story:
Excuses are always waiting round the corner. Act with intent and they fade away.
Be in control of the environment as much as possible. When I am in control, I can place the responsibility on my shoulders and strike out pussy vibes.
Throw a piece of paper, speak loudly, disturb the environment, let them know I
am there. This way, there is no unusual sense of weirdness when you finally speak with her.

If there is any other target distracting the focus then cut the time frame between both and get them investing. One or the other will eventually come through.